The Defiance (Brilliant Darkness) (3 page)

Peree and I found Kadee living in Koolkuna after disappearing from the trees almost ten years ago. She’d left Shrike and Peree, devastated by the knowledge that the Groundling Council of Three of the time intentionally blinded her child—me—so I could serve as the Water Bearer one day.

The Exchange spun a messy, tangled web between the ground and the trees and wove generations of heartache. I had hoped it would be one of the first issues tackled by the Confluence. I’m not feeling as optimistic now.

"The news spread up here already?" Peree asks in the cool tone he reserves only for Kadee. I guess there's no time limit on bitterness after your mother abandons you.

"I'm sorry, Fennel, Eland," Kadee says. "What a terrible thing for someone to do."

"I'd like to believe it was a joke," I say to Moon. "But it feels like a threat." Peree leans closer, putting a hand on my knee.

"The choice of a bird and a ground animal sure wasn't random," Petrel says. "And the way they mounted them over Fennel's bed . . . you probably shouldn't leave her alone too much, cousin. Not that you leave her alone that much as it is."

"Now I have another excuse," Peree says with grim satisfaction. "But he's right, Fenn. You and Eland shouldn't be by yourselves anymore."

I lay my hand on top of his. "We did manage to keep ourselves alive for years before I met you, you know."

"I can protect her." Eland sounds a little hurt.

"I know you can," Peree tells him. "You're lethal with that spear. And with more practice they'll have to watch out for your arrows, too."

I can almost hear Eland's face crack open in a wide smile. If someone could glow with pride, he would probably be burning like the sun. Peree is the only person who has that effect on him these days, and I love him all the more for it.

"More bread, Eland? Or squirrel meat?" Moon asks. “How about some water? Petrel, pass the plate around to Fennel and Peree. Maybe what happened today will help. It could give us a common problem to solve." I struggle to keep up with her rapid-fire speech.

"I don't know," Peree says. "Our little thrown-together group here might be the only ones who care."

"I don't think that's true," Kadee says. "We have some allies, even if they aren't as vocal. Fox seems sympathetic, and there's Breeze."

"It would be even better if our ally hadn't kind of lost it," Petrel mutters about their grandmother. There was no love lost between Breeze and her grandsons. Peree said she adored her son Shrike, but Peree and Petrel were born Groundlings, not Lofties, and Breeze never let them forget it.

"Peree, I'd like to talk to you and Fennel," Kadee says.

"Now?" he grumbles. “At least let me eat first. I'm starving."

"When you're ready." She’s careful not to stray too far into authority-figure territory with him.

"They grow up," Moon says with an exaggerated sigh, "but there's always a part of them that stays thirteen years old— their stomachs. Leave a little bread for Fennel, cousin. She could do with a few more curves."

My face flares. I lost some weight when we were stuck in the caves, but I didn't think it was that obvious. And I'm not used to people talking about how I look right in front of me. I'm getting the feeling the Lofties are less formal with each other than we are. Or maybe it's only Peree's family.

"She's perfect, curves or no curves," he says around a bite of food. I smile and sample the bread Peree handed me. It smells freshly baked, with a crisp crust that reluctantly gives way to the softer center, and it tastes just as good as it smells. Lofty bread is
almost
as delicious as ours, I have to admit.

"I need to do a repair on the perimeter,” Petrel says. “Wanna come, Eland? You've been staring out at the walkways like a caged squirrel."

"Really? I can go with you?"

"Sure thing."

"Find Thrush and take him, too!" Moon urges, as Petrel and Eland head for the door. "He's been
helping
in the storeroom today. Driving everyone batty. Which reminds me. Will you collect more fenugreek and blessed thistle from the herb garden so I can make some teas?" She steps closer to me, half-whispering near my ear, "For after the baby's born. Good to encourage your milk." She continues in a louder voice, "Oh, it was so nice to meet you two. I want you to consider this your home now."

My throat closes unexpectedly at her words of acceptance. I stand and give her a careful hug, startling when the baby moves between us. She places my palm over what must be a tiny hand or foot poking out. It draws back into the safety of its watery cocoon, and I shake my head at the small wonder.

The solid swell of Moon's belly fitted between us feels like a sign of hope for our combined future. At the same time it reminds me of the last pregnant woman I embraced, Rose, who disappeared after encountering the Scourge.

I hang on to the hope instead of the sadness, because I need it. I can't shake the feeling that whoever threatened me won't stop with killing a few animals.

Peree and I follow Kadee out the door. The sun must be about to fall below the tree line; the heat is momentarily intense. Birds call to each other like old friends from different parts of the treetops while the leaves whisper their secret conversations. The sounds of the trees are so much louder here than on the ground. I wonder if the Lofties even notice.

"What did you want to talk to us about?" Peree asks impatiently.

"I'm afraid it's not good news," Kadee says.

"Of course not. What now?"

"The Confluence met again today. They decided that you and Fennel should ask for permission from the Covey or the Three before you spend time together."

Peree curses and paces away.

"That's what that man Osprey was talking about," I say.

"I'm sorry," Kadee says. "I thought you should know, before someone sees you up here.”

I thank her for telling us and hurry to catch up to Peree.

He waits for me, then hustles us along. He's moving so fast we're practically running. The path swings wildly, which doesn't help my upset stomach.

"I need to find Eland and get back to the ground," I tell him.

He doesn't answer. After several twists and turns, he stops and thrusts a thick rope into my hands.

"Hold on tight. It's a firebreak.” His voice is toneless; I can't read it. “We have to swing across."

I drop it and step back, clutching my gut. "No swinging. Please. Give me a minute to catch my breath. And to think."

He takes my hands. His are trembling. "There's nothing to think about. I'm taking you to the farthest shelter on the perimeter. I can protect you there, from your people and from mine. I'll go find Eland; we're leaving tomorrow."

"Wait, Peree. I know you're upset—"

"You bet I am. I'm not going to let them tell us when and where we can meet. Don't you see where this is going? First they put rules around how we spend time together. What's next? Preventing us from being together at all? I'm not going to risk that."

"I know. I understand. But I'm . . . are you really ready to turn your back on your people without giving them a little more time?"

"What about whoever threatened you? You think they’ll stop with a few dead animals? I can't stand by and let someone hurt you. I watched you from the trees for years. I couldn't be with you, and I couldn't do anything to protect you. Now I can, and I will." He takes my face between his callused fingers. "I love you, Fennel. You're mine and I'm yours for as long as you want me. We'll go wherever we need to, but I have to be with you."

"That's what I want, too." I stand on my toes to kiss him. I only meant to reassure him, but his mouth meets mine with a ferocity that's different from the passion I've tasted on his lips before.

There's fear in this kiss. Fear and possessiveness. It's as unsettling as it is intoxicating. Maybe he wasn't kidding when he said he would've ended up alone if I hadn't agreed to partner with him, thanks to the fever that decimated their community a few years ago. Moon is the only Lofty woman I’ve met who sounds anywhere near our age.

I'm sure I would've ended up with Bear, or another Groundling man, if I hadn't fallen in love with Peree. Even if I hadn’t partnered, I would’ve had Eland and my friends. Peree only has Breeze and Petrel. And Petrel has his own family to worry about now. Maybe Peree really was facing a lifetime of loneliness if he hadn't met me.

Just when I think I’ve learned all there is to know about my intended, something like this makes me realize there's probably much more to him. Like the fear that he keeps well hidden behind all his anger and jokes.

I pull away from him gently and touch his face. "Hey, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

He crushes me to his chest. The thumping of his heart reminds me of playing hide-and-seek as a child, pressing my ear to the earth to hear approaching footsteps. I hold him while he lets out a long breath over my head. Insects trill in the greenheart trees around us; darkness has swept away the last of the light.

"Let's go back to Koolkuna. Now. Please." His voice is soft.

"Running away isn't the answer, Peree. What will the Reckoning have meant, and losing Aloe and Shrike, if we do that?"

He doesn't answer right away. "Then stay with me in the trees while we figure this out. You and Eland. Let me keep you safe."

"How long before your people find out you've got us stashed in a shelter up here? A day? Two days? What will that do?"

"Fine. I'll sleep on the ground with you."

I scratch my neck uncomfortably. This isn't the first time we've had this conversation. "The Three and the Covey want us to get permission to
visit
each other. What are they going to say if they catch you in my shelter some morning? And you know how good we are at actually sleeping when we're together." Which is to say not very.

He brushes his lips across mine, making them tingle. "I can be good, I promise."

"You can't even be good while you're promising to be good." I laugh, inching his hands back up from where they were straying. "Anyway, even if
you
can control yourself,
I
can't."

He groans. "I can tell I'm going to hate your plan. Go ahead and spit it out."

I hold his hands in mine. "Nothing that happened today really changes anything. No one was hurt. We already knew pretty much everyone hated the idea of us being together. Now they confirmed it. I think we need to keep trying to show them there's no threat in us being together. In
any
of us being together. How else can we get them to live peacefully in Koolkuna?"

"I think the animals nailed to your wall would disagree that no one was hurt," he points out. “Right now, I could care less if we ever get this bunch of ingrates to Koolkuna. They can't see a good thing when it's right in front of them. Clearly . . . or they would be worshipping the ground you walk on by now."

"You might be a
tiny
bit biased, but thank you." I kiss him again. The scary intensity has been replaced with what feels like surrender—for now. "Can we please go find Eland?"

"He's safe with Petrel. And I'm not ready to let you go yet. Stay with me for a few more minutes."

He leads me to the edge of the walkway. We sit and dangle our legs; the early evening breeze tickles my feet. I lean against Peree, and his fingers weave through my hair.

"I keep thinking about a story Wirrim told us the night after the Feast of Deliverance. The night you left Koolkuna," he says. Kadee learned many of the stories she told Peree, and that he told me, from Wirrim, Koolkuna’s aged Memory Keeper. "He said this one came from one of those books you were telling me about. I think it reminded him of you."

"What was the story?"

Peree settles in, like he always does before telling a tale. "It’s about a man who gets lost, deep in the mountains. He's lost for days, cold and hungry, until he stumbles on a place where all the people are Sightless. He's the only one who can see. At first he kind of thinks that makes him special, better than them. He thinks he can be their leader. But no matter how much he tries to describe the way things look, or what it's like to see, the Sightless don't believe him. They have no way to understand. In fact, they think he’s slow in the head. So he starts to doubt himself.”

My mouth twitches with the irony. “I can relate to that.”

"The man slowly gets used to living among the Sightless, in their world of brilliant darkness, but he can't quite bring himself to forget that there's a whole sighted world out there. He pines for it. The elders try to convince him to let them take his eyes. If he didn't have them, he'd feel better."

Peree pauses; I can tell he’s thinking of what the Three did to me.

"What happens?” I nudge.

"He almost agrees to let the elders have his eyes. Then at the last minute he changes his mind and escapes. He doesn't make it home, but at least he dies able to see the beauty of the mountains around him."

I let that sink in. "Okay . . . that's sort of a horrible story."

"I think Wirrim was warning me, Fenn. About how hard it would be for our people to believe us about Koolkuna and the Scourge. They've been blind all their lives. No way to relate to what we're telling them. I was, too, before we went to Koolkuna and I saw for myself. How can they suddenly believe the truth?"

How indeed
.

I shake my head. "I didn’t like that one. Next time tell me another animal story. Let’s go find Eland. I need to get to the ground so I can stop feeling like I'm going throw up."

Peree helps me stand. "You two sleeping down there alone isn't a good idea."

"I thought you said he was lethal with a spear?" I tease.

"Not
that
lethal. And do you realize how dead to the world twelve-year-old boys are when they're sleeping? Shrike had to blast me out of bed when I was that age."

I wince. "Please don't use the word
dead
when you're talking about Eland."

"I won't let anything happen to him, or you, if I can help it. But that's just it. I'm helpless when you're on the ground and I'm up here."