Authors: The Demon
Thanks. The way I figure it is simply that the more I can help the firm grow, the more I can grow along with it.
Thats right. Its like I always say: The more important the firm is to you, the more important you are to the firm. They looked at each other and nodded in understanding and approbation.
They remained in a small group for a short time, Harry a little surprised that he felt fairly comfortable with Wentworth, there being no anger bubbling within him. He meant everything he said: he did want to contribute to the firm and become a successful corporate executive, and he did like the firm and his work and would be perfectly content to stay with them the rest of his life, the life that he had planned and projected, the life that included not only a title and success, but a large home, automobiles, boats and all the other ac-couterments of success, like membership in an exclusive country club like Wooddale.
Harry sipped his drink and sincerely listened to their sincerity, almost feeling a part of the conversation and the two men with him, but vaguely aware of a feeling of separate-ness. He quickly, and automatically, brushed it aside and replaced it with a swelling and glow that came from the fact that he could feel the others in the room watching him talk with Simmons and Wentworth as equals, and knew, too, that they were in awe of him and envious.
Their conversation finally terminated and Harry drifted among the others, feeling a little heady and superior, and had a feeling that he was just a little taller (in some cases much
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taller) than the others. He also felt suave and enjoyed shaking his glass and hearing the ice cubes tinkle.
He walked up to the Davises, pulling his shoulders back just a bit more as he approached them, and looked at her intently as Mark introduced him. Honey, this is Harry White. Harry, my wife Terry.
Hi, its a pleasure.
Hi, Mark has mentioned you often.
O, he has has he, looking at him and smiling, then looking back at her, nothing good, I hope. Mark has mentioned you, too, but he never said that you were so beautiful, Terry blushing slightly. Mark, you old devil, no wonder I havent met her before. If I were married to you, looking at her intently again, I/d be afraid to let you out of the house, his face opening up into a friendly smile, Marks a lucky man, and Harry continued to look at her for another second or two, feeling a slight twinge inside and wanting to follow where it would lead him, but others came and joined them and so he drifted away with a feeling of relief.
Eventually he came across Linda sitting with Rae and Louise. Three lovely young ladies all alone, this is my lucky day.
Join us?
Thanks, Louise.
So listen to Sir Finklestein. You think Im going to believe your looking at these ancient ruins when such a beautiful girl like Linda is here?
Everyone laughed as Rae looked at them with a huge impish grin. They joked and laughed until it was time to eat, then got up and followed the others into the main dining room.
Harry was once again conscious of Lindas presence, and as they walked to the dining room he could feel the way her thin dress clung to her body. They sat near each other at one of the long banquet tables, Rae and Louise on one side and Harry and Linda across from them. He was still aware of it as they sat at the table, her bare arm just a few inches away from him.
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The friendly chitchat, and Raes humor, prevented Harry from becoming completely, and exclusively, preoccupied with Linda, though even with the joking and laughter, he was constantly aware of her presence and a feeling that was new and vague, that seemed to come from her. He felt attracted to her, yet, at this particular moment, there was no knot of anxiety in his gut or tightness of apprehension. He gave fleeting moments of thought to this feeling, but the closest he could come to defining it, in any way, was simply to be aware of the absence of certain feelings he usually had. For the most part he simply tried to enjoy what was happening (or wasnt happening) as they proceeded from soup to the dessert, which Rae kept claiming she was not going to eat, then started nibbling at with looks and sighs of approval. Youre going to hate yourself in the morning. O Harry, youre awful.
So whats so bad? I wont get on the scale for a few days and I/ll think thin.
They continued chuckling until Mr. Wentworth stood, tapped on his glass for a moment and asked for everyones attention. The room became silent and everyone turned toward Mr. Wentworth. Thank you. He looked around the room for a moment, a large smile on his face. I trust you all enjoyed the dinner—there were bursts of verbal approval and applause— and, Mr. Wentworths smile broadened, the relaxing cocktail hour—more applause, laughter and the energetic nodding of heads. Mr. Wentworth was silent for a moment as he looked around the room. Now you will get the tab. . . . Im going to make a speech—there was a splattering of applause and a self-conscious silence for a moment, and Mr. Wentworth chuckled and waved his hands. No, no, please dont worry. I would not ruin a good meal like that—more chuckling and laughter. All Im going to do is introduce our president, Clarke Simmons, turning toward him and extending his hand, then applauding as the others joined him.
Clarke Simmons stood and listened to and acknowledged the applause for a moment, smiling broadly, then raised his
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hands for silence. Thank you, thank you very much. It is indeed a pleasure to be with you on this festive occasion. And like my good friend Walter, looking toward Wentworth, I do not want to ruin a good meal with unnecessary words. He smiled and was silent until the chuckling died down. However, I do want to thank each and every one of you for being faithful employees and the type of individuals who meet their responsibilities with enthusiasm and energy and who helped make this the best year in the firms fifteen-year history. And in keeping with that tradition and the growth that it has fostered, I want to make a brief announcement about a new position that that growth has made possible and necessary... and to introduce the gentleman who will be our new, and first, junior vice-president—Louise and Rae quickly looked at Harry with large congratulatory smiles on their faces, and Louise started to reach for Harrys hand but he quickly lifted it off the table to scratch the back of his neck. I must confess that this bright young man has not as yet been advised of his change of status, and so it will come as a surprise to him and his lovely wife too. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to introduce our junior vice-president, Mark Davis—ooos and ahhhs and Mark Davis looking around surprised, happy, startled, smiling, and his wife bouncing up and down in her chair, clapping her hands vigorously and screeching hurray and pushing her husband toward President Simmons as those nearby shook Marks hand and patted him on the back as he hesitatingly moved forward and grasped the outstretched hands of Clarke Simmons and Walter Wentworth, and some of the people started chanting, speech, speech and others joined the chant as Mark Davis stood between Wentworth and Simmons, each with an arm around the new junior vice-president's shoulder, and a few flashbulbs popped as pictures were taken for trade publications, and eventually the applause and chanting for a speech died down so Mark Davis could speak, and Louise and Rae looked at Harry with frowns and disbelief and questioning expressions and Harry fought like a sonofabitch to keep a goddamn smile on his face and shrug away the tacit questions
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and accusations of Louise and Rae and not let his skin crack open from the heat that seemed to be pounding through him and the nausea that was suddenly twisting his gut and constricting his throat, and Wentworth and Simmons sat there with those grins on their faces as that jerk Davis made some kind of dumb remarks about how happy he was and how he would try to live up to the responsibility of his position—new position, jerk—and he had to thank his wonderful wife for all the help she/d been and for making it possible for him to do the kind of job that got him this—and he continued to thank people with a bunch of meaningless tripe, the gutless wonder, and he finally sat down and everyone clapped like a bunch of mentally retarded seals,
and Harry could feel Louises and Raes eyes burning into him like two mothers who had just been told that their son was a mass murderer, and he had to stand in front of them and open the zipper on his chest and let everyone look inside of him and see the ugliness and rottenness that was hidden there and was slowly festering and explain himself and why he was sitting there while that ass-kissing Davis was taking all the bows and his fishmonger of a wife was screeching and hanging from his neck like a syphilitic albatross as if that dumb sonofabitch had actually done something to be proud of when he was lucky if he could brush his teeth and comb his hair without getting the comb and brush confused, and Harry was grinding his teeth as he smiled, gently, at Rae and Louise, and felt as if his legs were going to run away from his body and he shrugged again and wanted to laugh but was afraid he would puke all over the table and he tried to force an attitude of nonchalance and let his two surrogate mothers know that he could have had the job, but turned it down as it might interfere with his future, but he couldnt say it, but only imply it, because he couldnt let the word get around, but anyway it was no big deal and there are bigger things ahead and Davis needs it with all those people he has to feed, the poor sucker, and thats the real reason they gave it to him anyway, and anyway, who gives a damn about the whole damn thing, and the muscles in Harrys
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shoulders and the back of his neck felt like they were about to snap and the pain became so intense that Harry thought he would either faint or jump up on the table and scream, and the goddamn smile seemed to be cemented on his face and Louise and Rae didnt seem to be talking to him and there was a slow awareness of something new happening, something in addition to the renewal of the voices chatting and chuckling and laughing, and out of the corner of his eye he became aware of movement and then the sound of music, dance music, and he blinked his eyes a few times and it seemed to crack the cement slightly and slow down his heart just enough so that it wasnt pounding in his ears, and then he heard a semblance of words as Rae told him to get up and dance already, what are you, some kind of schlemiel, youre just going to sit there like that? And he heard Linda laugh and felt himself rising on legs that were weak from painful muscular spasms, and tears came to his eyes as he stood and tried to walk and he blinked away the tears rapidly and chuckled as he stumbled, hoping to hell that his legs wouldnt collapse, and he supported himself by leaning on the backs of those sitting as he worked his way to the dance floor and gropingly led Linda in among those stumbling around the dance floor, allowing himself to fall against whoever was near until his legs finally started to strengthen and he could stand and move without fear of falling, but fortunately the dance floor was too crowded for that and it was a simple matter to bounce off other couples until he could stand, without aid, on his own two feet, and it was as if an endless wind had slowly seeped from inside him, cracking away the cement that had been holding him, and his smile, in place, and he pulled Linda closer to him and put his cheek against her ear and felt the softness of her dress against him and the heat of his breath as it filtered through her hair back into his face.
What were all those looks about before? What looks?
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What looks? Rae and Louise looked at you as if something weird was happening and they expected you to explain it— Linda laughed, or as Rae would say, explain me?
Harry was regaining his composure as they lost themselves among the dancers, feeling anonymous and inconspicuous, and his face fell into his relaxed smile. Who knows? Whatever it is, its not worth talking about now. Lets just enjoy dancing. Linda smiled and tilted her head in a shrug, and Harry pulled her back to him and they continued to dance.
When they got back to the table, some of the people had already left and they decided to have another cup of coffee before leaving, Linda having accepted Harrys invitation to have him drive her home.
When they drove past the gatehouse, through the huge stone columns and past the iron-grill-work gate, then turned onto the narrow road leading to the highway, Linda looked through the rear window at the darkened and shadowed grounds, and the dotted lights of a few cars as they moved along the narrow road toward the gate. A turn suddenly removed the grounds from view, but Linda continued to feel the pool, the sunken garden and sloping green ground and trees, and the sun and laughter. She smiled as she turned around and sort of wiggled into her seat. Louise and Rae certainly are nice ladies. I dont think I have ever laughed so much in my life. She looked at the silhouetted trees and the bright moon and stars. Gee, its a beautiful sky. The moons almost as bright as the sun, but the sky is softer now. Like velvet. She settled deeper into her seat and sighed softly. Sort of a perfect day. I really had a marvelous time. I guess it would be almost impossible not to have a good time there, its such a beautiful place. Linda chuckled, I didnt realize it, but I was born for country club living . . . gracious living as they say. Dont you agree Harry? Dont you think its a beautiful place?
Yeah, but its all over till next year. In no time we/ll be back in the stink and sweat of the city.
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Linda chuckled and looked up at the velvet soft sky as Harry felt the telegraph poles chopping by. That may be, but it certainly is beautiful right now.