• • •
Crawling back to her apartment at 3
A.M.
felt like dragging two concrete blocks through quicksand, her feet were so heavy. As she approached the door, she noticed a lump of blankets piled at the base. She started to kick them aside then noticed two feet extended from the corner. She prodded the pile with her fingers and it wiggled. A groan was expelled as the bundle moved and a head emerged from the pile. A dark head of rumpled hair and two sleep-filled eyes. “Hey, you’re home.” Grant smiled and rubbed the side of his face.
“What are you doing lying on the floor here? You could get mugged or trampled or something.”
“I brought you something.” He pulled out a box. “Merry Christmas.”
“You laid there all night just to give me this? It looks like you used it for a pillow.” She took the package with a heavy dent in the top. She regretted the words as soon as she said them. They sounded too harsh.
“Uh, I kind of did. Sorry.”
Jenny unlocked the door, tossed the smashed box on the couch, and picked him off the floor. “Come on, sleepyhead. Let’s get you inside. Where’d you get the blanket? Did you plan to camp out here all night?”
“No, Maggie gave it to me a few hours ago. I guess she felt sorry for me. Take it easy with the gift. It’s breakable.”
“You know there’s a key hidden inside the butterfly pot by her door. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you. You’ve got that old bat wrapped around your finger now. She’ll probably never talk to me again when you stop coming around. She’ll think I did something horrible.”
“Wouldn’t that be a shame? I’m tired, honey. Can I lie down? Have to be at the airport tomorrow at ten.” He rubbed his eyes. “Wanted to see you.”
He teetered with his eyes half open in her living room, then without hesitation staggered to her room and dropped on the bed. He was sound asleep making that soft huffing noise in seconds.
“Sure, make yourself at home.” She registered the name he’d called her as she eased him from his clothes and tossed a blanket over him. Poor guy, he was getting good at crashing at her apartment. She was getting equally good at undressing him.
She snuck into the kitchen and quickly wrapped the basket, or at least wadded paper around it. The shape was so non-uniform; it was impossible to make it look nice. It was exciting to think about, really. The thought of exchanging gifts with a guy. She hadn’t done that in a long time. She crawled into bed next to him and fell into a slumber with her back snuggled against his rib cage. Without even waking, his hand went to her hair.
Then the dream came. She had thought it was gone — a product of the bump on her head. The car, the boy running in front of them, the girl screaming. This was different though. This time, she wasn’t driving; she was a passenger. And she was screaming too.
Daddy!!!!
“Jenny! Wake up!” Her teeth clinked together as she felt her head bobble back and forth. She battered her eyes open.
“What?” she breathed. She was shaking uncontrollably.
“You had a bad dream.” Grant stroked her hair from her face. “Are you okay? What was it?”
“Wow. Sorry. It’s nothing. I keep dreaming about the wreck.”
“When you banged your head a while back?” he asked.
“Yes. Uh, no — not that wreck. This one had a little boy in it. He ran in front of us and I — we — swerved to miss him and hit a post. But it wasn’t just a post. There was a little girl screaming.”
“It was just a dream. You’re fine.” He hugged her to him and stroked her hair. “You’re not getting enough sleep.”
Probably not going to sleep after that.
• • •
When Jenny woke at nine, he was already gone. He’d left a note that they’d open gifts on Friday. He signed the note, “Stop dreaming about wrecks and miss me.” That was all he said, but she remembered him calling her honey when he was tired.
He had grown on her. She wasn’t sure when it happened, but somewhere between all the dog slobber and accidents, things changed. It wasn’t just because he looked hot without a shirt on. Or with it on, for that matter.
He was a lot like her. He used sarcasm to keep people at arm’s length, but once past it, he was a great guy. Thoughtful, kind, and overly generous.
• • •
Grant’s flight was smooth. His sister Grace met him at the airport. His parents would have been there too, she said, but they were tied up getting Grandma settled in. The thought made him smile since his grandmother was the most ornery person he knew. She hated fuss and wouldn’t allow anyone to make one over her. So, it boiled down to the fact that they hated the drive to the airport and the traffic on the freeway. He was fine with that since the drive back with them would have been more than painful.
Where Hodge was glitz and glamour, his parents were nothing close. It amazed him that his mom and Hodge had the same parents. She was so down-to-earth and straight-laced with a quick wit that edged on sarcasm (wonder where he got that from) and Hodge was driven to prove himself — so much so that he often didn’t even know what others were thinking, nor did he care. He had heard they were more alike in younger years, but his dad and made a big impact, softening her. She had been a big part of the business up until he reached puberty, then she’d ditched the glamour world for mom duty. Said she could only handle one trouble-maker at a time and Grant needed a woman’s softening.
Maybe that was the difference between women and men? No, if that were the case, Jenny would be less caustic and more like his mom. He grinned at the thought. A horrible one. He knew it was all a camouflage, her protection mechanism. She had something well-hidden underneath all that gruff and grump. He couldn’t place a finger on it, but he knew it was there somewhere. And, whatever it was, it likely explained why she always held him at a distance. The physical distance was breached last week, but the emotional one still needed some work.
“Are you going to answer me? Are you seeing anyone?” Grace asked. Her tone suggested it wasn’t the first time she’d asked. She stared at him, a female version of himself. He hadn’t told Jenny that Grace was his twin; that would have made her uncomfortable. It normally did. For some reason, people always found it a little strange.
“As a matter of fact, I am, but it’s early.”
“Anyone we know?” She grinned.
“No, but ask Hodge and Lauren if you want the details. They know her.”
“Oh, is that how you met?” Grace looked surprised. As if he’d never let them introduce him to someone. In truth, they didn’t — or at least they didn’t mean to. Lauren had no clue that he was there the night Jenny picked her up from the Halloween bash. He didn’t have the heart to tell her because she had been such a mess, she’d never want anyone to see her that way. And as he watched how Jenny talked to her and treated her with respect, it melted him.
Until they left together, he’d thought her another pretty, high-maintenance girl, like so many he’d met. Like the one he was stupid enough to live with. The fact that she didn’t treat Lauren like an obnoxious drunk impressed him. Knowing she was exotically beautiful didn’t hurt either.
“Not exactly. I ran into her a couple times on the freeway. Not literally, of course. She helped me with a flat tire and things just kind of went on from there.”
Grace smiled. He hated that look. It was one of those
oh, you’re hooked
expressions. Why is it he can fool everyone else in the family, but not her?
“I’m happy for you, brother. Why didn’t she come with you? I’m sure everyone would love to meet her.”
“No way. She doesn’t hate me yet and I’d like to keep it that way for a little while, if you don’t mind. The minute I take her home, you’ll all start telling her every gross story you can think of about me and it’ll be a matter of seconds before she drops me like a hot rock.”
Grace laughed. “Well, it’s not like we’d be lying to her, you know. I can’t help it if you’re such a gross specimen of a man.”
“Yeah, and don’t forget that I can tell a few stories about you too — so watch out.” He glanced out the window as they drove down the street to their parents’ house. “What about you? You involved with anyone?”
“Ha, that’ll be the day. I am definitely
not
wasting my time on men. No offense bro, but you guys are just a huge distraction in life. I have bigger plans.”
She was telling the truth about that. Grace had graduated a semester before him — one of those determined, serious girls that had a plan. In fact, she talked about that plan almost every Christmas. It consisted of a series of one-year, five-year, and ten-year goals. So far, she had her life so planned out, he wondered if she’d penciled in a husband and kids somewhere. He doubted it. Still, to some extent, they were very much alike — driven to be best at whatever they pursued. Or at least, that was the case until Shilo died. For Grant, that was when he realized all those goals and plans were irrelevant in the overall scheme of life … and life sometimes had a different agenda.
“Bigger plans. Sometimes the biggest things have no plan involved, girl, but they end up being the most important parts of your life. Don’t get so wrapped up in your goals that you forget to have a good time getting there.”
Goals were something he’d left behind when he took the job with Hodge, yet now he wanted to make some. His thoughts went back to black lace and the way it had slid off Jenny’s hip the night he’d helped her with the flat tires. The night everything changed between them. She wasn’t a first for him, nowhere near that. Still, something about Jenny was hard to leave alone. Something he wanted to go after.
“And sometimes hard work
is
a good time. I like what I do, Grant, don’t lecture me about enjoying life because you don’t.”
He frowned. She had a point.
“I enjoy life.”
“Do you? I’m not so sure. I know the only reason you’re working for Hodge is because you feel like they need you. They’re all so screwed up that you had to step in and glue them back together.”
“Not true.” After a second’s hesitation he added, “Someone had to be there. It was easy for me since I needed a job anyway.” He was glad when they pulled into the drive and he could escape the interrogation. Why did she
always
do that? Make him feel like shit about his decisions.
“Yeah, and easy for them to let you give up your own life to accommodate theirs.”
Grant had already closed the car door when she completed the sentence. He pulled his bags out and headed inside for more of the same from his parents.
Yippee — home for the holidays.
• • •
To Grant’s surprise, Jenny did call. While he was celebrating Christmas Eve with his family and he missed it. He’d left his phone upstairs in his old room. When he went back up and saw the blinking message light on his cell, he thumped a fist on the nightstand at his stupidity. Great. Tell a girl to call then don’t answer. He dropped onto the bed and dialed her back. Plumping the pillows while he listened to the rings, Grant hoped she wasn’t working.
“Hey.”
Love that deep, sultry voice.
“Sorry I missed you.” He mused that here he was in his old room on the phone talking to a girl, wanting to be with her — just like he had growing up. The only difference now was that he wasn’t
afraid
to talk to girls. Or was he? “No problem. I just came in. Slow night.”
“Everyone’s celebrating with their families, I guess.”
“Yeah, probably. How’s things there?” She sounded good.
“Good. It’s nice to see everyone. I’d forgotten how nosey they are though. Too many questions and advice.” He decided not to say the questions were about her and the advice somewhat related. She laughed softly.
“That’s what families are for.”
He was glad to hear her voice. They talked for almost an hour; Grant didn’t really care about what. His legs were cramped from bending to fit the bed. When did this damned bed get so small? A twin. He hadn’t slept in a twin since — he laughed — this one. Memories of growing up in this house, experiencing puberty, first kiss, first call for a date (in that order), first beer. And even though his parents would have a fit, his first experience with sex happened right here in this room. What a far cry from the experience with Jenny last week. What a different person he was now, with a new appreciation for what human contact should be.
“Jenny, I want you to meet my family sometime. You’d like them,” he said. Dead silence. Okay, that was probably too much. “You still there?”
She coughed. “I’m here. Yeah, that sounds nice.”
“How are things with your mother? Everything okay with her and Dougie?”
She laughed. “Now that you mention it, they are doing fine.”
“Fine?”
“Okay, better than that. I guess you were right about them. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. He was here for presents and for dinner, but then he left to see his kids. He has three and he said next year they’d come too. So, I guess that means something, right?”
“Yeah. Be happy for her, Jen.”
“I am. It’s just hard, that’s all. I don’t even know this guy.” She yawned. “It’s late, Grant. I’d better let you go. Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah, you too. Merry Christmas.”
• • •
Grant returned home feeling as if he’d been gone a month, but it had only been two days — two very long days. As much as everyone thought Hodge and Lauren were ruining his life, the truth couldn’t possibly be farther from their perception. By delving into their lives, he’d stopped dwelling on his, which allowed him to enjoy whatever happened more. It’s easy to find fun at something that you don’t have any heavy investment in. Not so easy when your future depended on it and every move you made should be one that furthered your success. Grant was never happier to take life less seriously.
Even though it had been on his mind since he stepped off the plane, he waited until almost at his apartment to call Jenny. As he pulled into the lot, he changed his mind and veered back to the freeway while dialing. He listened to the rings and they didn’t come fast enough. “Hello there.” She knew it was him. Had she added his number to her phone? Or just recognized it?