Authors: C.J. Skuse
âCrumble's ready,' she said proudly. âGo and round up the sulks, will you?'
I guessed that she meant Shelby. In the dining room, I
noticed Max wasn't back in his seat either. I think it was then that I knew.
I walked across the hallway towards Max's bedroom, knowing what I'd see through that slightly ajar door. Each footstep took me closer to a new level of pain. Sure enough, as I peered through the gap, I heard voices. Saw movement. Max lying on his bed. Him wriggling down his jeans. Him, fully excited. Her head in his lap.
âQuick, hurry up,' he whispered.
âAll right, all right,' she said, giggling.
I wasn't repulsed that they were related. Or even angry, at that point. I was just sad, realising I had lost him. I didn't know him anymore. I knew he didn't want to hurt me but I also knew he needed sex. And that was something I just couldn't give him, no matter how much I wanted us to stay together.
I walked back towards the front door and stepped out onto the drive, the glossy black Porsche eyeballing me like a predator. I didn't stop to throw a stone at it, or scratch it or kick it like I'd wanted to, five minutes before. Instead, I broke into a run and sprinted back along the streets and roads and back alleys until I was at the roundabout to my house.
Then my phone rang in my pocket.
But it wasn't Max, like I was expecting. It was Corey.
âElla? Ella? Are you there? It's me, Corey. Ella, I need help, quick. I'm at my house with Fallon. She's just bleeding everywhere. I don't know what to do.'
âYour head must have been all over the place.'
I
didn't have time to dwell on Max and Shelby right then. By the time I'd sprinted the mile or so to Brynstan General, I'd almost forgotten it. I was too worried about why Corey had said Fallon was bleeding. I didn't know much about childbirth, but I knew blood was a bad sign.
When I got to the hospital, I ran to the reception desk, sweating and breathless, and asked if she'd had been brought in. They sent me up to Maternity on the second floor. The lift took ages. When it opened again, I saw Corey, sitting on a chair in the corridor. His head was against the wall; his eyes wide open. Above him hung a notice board filled with leaflets on âCoping with Miscarriage' and âCommon Birth Defects' and support groups.
âCorey?' I said.
He saw me and his face crumpled. I dashed straight to him and held him tightly.
âIs she OK? Corey, is she OK?' I felt him nod against my shoulder as he sobbed. âIs the baby OK?'
He mumbled something. âThey said it might be â some long word.'
âWhat sort of long word?'
âSomething about the thing detaching.'
âUmbilical cord?'
âNo.'
âPlacenta?'
âYeah, it could be that. I didn't know what to do. I called the ambulance and they came quickly but what if I was too late, Ella? What if she dies because I was too late?'
âIt's OK, it's OK,' I said.
He took off his glasses, wiping his eyes with his coat sleeve. âWe were sat down, looking at the plans I've made for the new chicken runâ¦'
âWhat plans?'
âI've been doing some designs for the farm. Rose was talking about it and I offered. I'm going to help build a new coop and an extension to the goats' pen. I'm gonna set them up with a website too, so they can rehome the cats more quickly.'
âCorey, why didn't you go into work today?'
âWell, Fallon had a twinge and I was worried about her, so I called in sick.'
âThey're going to fire you if you carry on like this.'
âThey already have,' he said. âI don't care. What if I
hadn't
been there for her, Ella? She could've â¦'
âI know, I know.'
âWe were gonna bring the cakes round to yours later. Fallon wanted to go to the beach for a picnic. All of a sudden she got this pain and had to sit down. And then all this stuff â blood and stuff â just started shooting out of her, right on my grandparents' kitchen lino.'
âYou mean her waters broke?'
âI guess, yeah. All I could think was water and towels, cos you see it on the films, don't you? Water and towels. But when I
got
the water and towels, I didn't have a frigging
clue what to do with them. So then I called Rosie and she told me where the overnight bag was and the money for the taxi and then I called you. I couldn't think what else to do.'
âYou did good, Corey. Really good.'
He sat back down on the chairs but angled his head towards Room Five. âWhat if I hadn't been there, Ella?'
âYou
were
there,' I said, squeezing his hand. âThat's what you've got to think. If you want to go in with her now, I'll be OK hereâ'
âNo,' he interrupted. âIt doesn't seem right. She's got her legs wide open and everything. And her mum's with her.' He looked quite faint. âHow do women do it? I mean, seriously? It looks very painful. And traumatic.'
âI think it is,' I said. âDo you think we should call Zane?'
âFallon said he won't give a crap.'
âPerhaps not, then.' I felt for the note in my pocket. It was still there, crumpled and creased and burning a hole.
Just then, the door to Room Five opened and out stepped Roadkill Rosie herself. Corey stood up, fiddling with the hem of his T-shirt. âHow is she?'
âAbout ready to pop. They're keeping an eye on her, don't worry. You can come and see her in a minute, all right, but let the midwives do their job. There's a waiting area just down there on the right. I'll come and tell you if there's news.'
I'd forgotten how nice she was, alongside her squat, witchy appearance and butcher's forearms. I remembered Rosie properly now. I remembered that I liked her. She'd been kind.
âWon't be long now.' Rosie patted Corey's forearm and smiled at us both before disappearing back into Room Five.
âCome on,' I said. âI need something sweet.'
We made our way down to the waiting area and I headed straight for the vending machine. There was a circle of chairs around it, a table loaded with magazines, a box of Lego, a stack of colouring sheets and a pot plant that had grown to the ceiling. A bloke with sunken cheeks waited with one knee bouncing to the tune of âAnother One Bites the Dust', and an older woman in a furry cardigan and two kids were colouring in
The Gruffalo
on the table.
I checked the clock on the wall. It was 4.27 p.m.
By 5.19, we'd had another update from Rosie: labour was progressing normally, and Fallon had been given some drugs so she wasn't in so much pain. Every time we heard a scream, Corey had to cover his ears.
He sighed. âDo you know what I bought myself at the start of the summer? A Marauders Map, a bottle of poly-juice potion and a wand. Over seventy quid I spent on all that. It would have been more if they had Golden Snitches in stock.'
âI thought you were over Harry Potter?' I said.
He glared at me. âYou don't ever “get over” Harry Potter, Ella. At best you just learn to live with the fact that fucking envelope's never going to arrive.'
âWell, whatever makes you happy.'
âYeah, but I'm not a kid any more. I need to spend my money on things that matter. I want to be more independent. Nan and Granddad do everything for me â my washing, my meals, tidying my room. Nan even still buys my pants.'
âI know,' I said. âI've seen her in Peacocks.'
He sighed. âI just want to be useful. I wanna spend my money on useful things. I know I can be more than this, Ella. I can do most things. And yeah I'm a bit slow sometimes and I can't run fast but I know computers. And I can drive â sort of. I want to look after Fallon.'
âHow are you going to support them with no job?' I asked.
âI'll get another one. The Costa in town is looking for a barista. You get free lattes and all the brownies you can eat. I've got some savings to be going on with anyway.'
âAre you sure you want to do that?'
âYes. I've never wanted anything so much in my life.'
âExcept a Golden Snitch.'
âDon't rub it in.'
I took my phone out. The screen was dead â I must have turned it off after I got Corey's call. I switched it back on. âThen you
should
help her. You totally should.'
He smiled. âYeah?'
I could see it now. Corey wanted a family; people to worry about, to take care of, like his grandparents had always worried and taken care of him. He was dying to pay it back to someone. Mort had been enough for him, until now. He was growing up before my eyes.
âYeah. I think it would be good for you. And you can pass on all your Harry Potter gear to the baby when it's older, can't you? Read the books to it and take it to the theme parks and stuff.'
He grinned. âI'd really like that.'
My phone buzzed seven times in my hand. Missed calls. Messages. All from Max. Biting on my pride, I sent back;
At hospital with Fallon. Maternity level 2 main building.
No kiss. Then I turned it off again.
When I put my phone back, I found a two pound coin, so I took it to the vending machine. Corey shook his head when I looked at him, but I got a bar of Dairy Milk and a Toffee Crisp as well, in case Corey changed his mind. Sitting back down, I ripped open the Dairy Milk and scrunched up the wrapper.
âHave you two had a row? Where is he?'
âI was round his house for Sunday lunch when I got your call. I came straight here.'
âI know it's none of my business, Ella, but if you want to talk, I'm here.'
âI saw him getting sucked off by his cousin, Shelby. He doesn't know I saw.'
Corey stared at me, his mouth hanging open. I closed it for him. âWe are not a codfish, Corneliusz.' I carried on eating the chocolate. It was only when I'd swallowed the last mouthful that I realised I hadn't actually tasted a single bite.
âHim and hisâ¦? You saw them? God, Ella.'
âI think I'm glad. He's getting what he wants â what he needs. He's not going to get it from me any time soon.'
âWhat about what
you
need?'
I picked up the Toffee Crisp and offered it to him. Again, he shook his head. I didn't taste that one either. I scrunched up the wrapper and dropped it in the bin.
âHe's changed since I knew him last,' he said as I chewed my chocolate bar. âI don't know what it is. He's just⦠different.'
âSkunk,' I blurted. He looked at me. âI've noticed it too. He flies off the handle quicker. And he's got lazier. And he's been having these nightmares too, about Jessica. About me. He wakes up in a cold sweat and he shakes. I swear it's down to that. I wish he'd stop.'
âHave you tried asking him to stop? Max loves you so much. He told me he'd do anything for you.'
âClearly, keeping his thing in his pants is the one exception.'
Corey started picking his thumbs, then shoved his fists under his armpits to stop himself. âI don't know what to say. I don't know how to help.'
âYou can't help,' I said. âNot with this.'
âIt couldn't be a mistake, could it? Like, you
thought
you saw her⦠giving him facetime but actually it was perfectly innocent?'
I laughed. âWhat, that she was just using some new oral cleaning technique that dentists recommend? No, Corey. I know what I saw. I think they've been at it for months.'
The lift doors
bing
ed and there was Max, looking breathless.
âDon't say anything, Corey,' I said, as I waved to him. He began jogging up towards us, stopping briefly halfway along to sanitise his hands.
Corey had his arms folded, violence in his eyes. âI don't know if I can hold it in.'
âPlease, leave it. I don't want him knowing just yet.'
âWhy not?'
âJust let me handle it.'
âI didn't know where you'd gone,' Max puffed. âWhy didn't you tell me? I looked everywhere for you. I called your phone like a million times.'
âSeven times,' I said. âSorry, I didn't think. I got the call from Corey and I must have switched my phone off. I just ran straight here.'
Max looked at Corey. âHow is she? How's Fallon?'
If Corey was a dragon, smoke would have billowed from both his nostrils, but he did as I'd asked him, and kept it to himself. âThey're both OK. I'm going to go and see if there's any more news.' He glanced at me. âWill you be all right, Ella?'
I mouthed a âthank you' to him as Max turned away. âWe'll wait here.'
Corey departed back up the corridor.
âYou didn't try any of Mum's crumble,' said Max.
âLike I said, I didn't think.'
A nurse came to tell the family with the colouring kids that âlabour was progressing well and Mummy was comfortable, but not ready to push yet'.
âThat's all right,' said Max, putting his arm across me, just like his lecherous uncle. âI was just worried.' He kissed my cheek. I looked straight ahead at the vending machine. âDo you wanna get a bottle of water or something?' He rooted in his pocket for loose change.
âNo.'
âYou OK?'
âYES.'
Some fury had leaked out. There was rage radiation in the air. Max could tell. I looked across at the man with the bouncing knee. I started bouncing my knee too. He was all âAnother One Bites the Dust' so I tried a bit of âRadio Ga Ga'. We were practically in harmony.
âI'm just nervous. For Fallon. Do you want a cereal bar or summing?'
âNo. Thanks.' I looked at him. âI'm sorry I ran off. I just panicked.'
He seemed to sigh with relief. He reached across for my hand, and I let him hold it.