Authors: C.J. Skuse
So I saw an opportunity.
I followed him one morning, watching him from the safety of the Esplanade. He was underneath the Pier, doing his warm-ups. I put up my hood, clamped the cat mask to my face and sprinted along to the steps, taking them two at a time down onto the beach. I found a large stick and drew the word MEOW in large scrawly letters, right on the tide-washed sand where he wouldn't miss it. I kept looking up, checking where he was. He was just lightly jogging. Kicking up his heels. I got to the âO' and he saw me. He started sprinting towards me.
âOi!' I heard in the distance. I looked up.
My breathing got heavier behind the mask.
âOi, I'm gonna kill you!' I quickly scrawled the W then dropped the stick and raced back up the steps to the seafront, pumping my arms and sprinting the promenade towards Manor Gardens, ducking past the fish ponds and through the churchyard gates. I hid behind a huge weathered gravestone and waited. He appeared at the gates, doing his Terminator scanning thing again.
âYeah. Definitely weirded out.'
Max had Googled âHow to Get Revenge', and an article had come up; how Sharon Osbourne once put a human turd in a Tiffany box and mailed it to a deadly enemy. None of us were willing to do that, however much we hated Zane, so we did the next best thing â we organised the delivery of a raw pig's heart, courtesy of Rosie. She didn't ask what
Fallon needed it for, just slapped it in her outstretched hand and continued butchering the corpse for their freezer.
âI wonder if it arrived on time?' she asked as we sat in the motorhome on the seafront that Saturday night. My dad had gone out to his cookery class, and then out for a drink with Celestina, so, with a bit of luck, he wouldn't even have noticed we'd borrowed it.
âShould have,' said Corey, still flicking through the pregnancy app he'd downloaded for Fallon earlier. âThey're a pretty reliable firm and he was definitely home when it came. I checked.'
âI'd love to have seen his face, wouldn't you, Ells? Ells? ELLA?'
âYeah,' I said, barely listening. My itch was up on my neck and along both arms, and I didn't have my antihistamines with me, so I was prickly as a porcupine, pacing up and down to the steamed-up windscreen to see if Max was coming. He'd gone down to the Pier end to deliver a note through Zane's letterbox â it was only supposed to take ten minutes. He'd been gone for half an hour.
âThis isn't good,' I said, getting up and pacing back down the other end to where they were sitting at the table.
I closed my eyes and sent my prayer up to whoever was listening. âCome on, come back now. Please. Please God, make him come back.' The glow of the orange street lights along the seafront was the only thing keeping us from being in total darkness.
âMaybe he went to get fish and chips?' Fallon suggested. âI'm pretty starving.'
âYeah, me too,' said Corey.
âNo, we were going to go for chips
after
this. He said he was coming straight back. He's taken a stupid risk, I bet. Goading him or something.'
âWhy would he?' said Corey. âHe knows the plan. We went over it about eight times.'
âNo, but he's different at the moment. All devil-may-care and acting tough. It's not like him. He's frustrated.'
âAbout your sex problem?' Fallon blurted out. âSorry.'
âFallon!'
âIt's OK, Corey knows. Just about the sex problem though. That's all though, I swear.'
I was too anxious even to get angry. âWhat if Zane was waiting for him? What if he grabbed his hand as he put the note through the letterbox?'
âNo way,' said Corey. âFallon's right, he probably went to get the fish and chips or something.'
I looked at him. âYou don't believe that, Corey, I know you don't.'
âWell what's the alternative?' he said, slamming down his phone. âWhat if he
has
got him? We can't do anything. It'd be like fighting a Panzer.'
âI don't even know what that is but I'm scared,' said Fallon, her hands up to her mouth.
âI'm going down there,' I said, zipping up my hoody.
âNo, Ella.'
âI'll come too,' said Fallon.
âNo, you won't,' I told her.
âI can fight dirty when I need to.'
âYou might be able to, but that baby can't, so you've both got to stay out of it.'
âI'll come,' said Corey.
âNo, I don't need you to.'
âYou're not going by yourself. I don't care if it's sexist or anti-feminist or whatever. I'm not letting you go down there on your own. No way.'
âCorey, if he hurts him, I don't know what I'll do.' Just
the thought of Zane's hands on Max was giving me heartburn. âMy dad'll be back from his class just after nine. He'll go ballistic if he sees the motorhome's missing. I said we should have taken the Audi!'
âJust hold your horses, OK? Let's give it another five minutes and if there's still no sign then we'll do something.'
âWhat?'
âI don't know what. Just come and sit down.'
In the next moment, we all heard fast footsteps padding up the pavement outside; then the door flew open and Max ran in, breathless, slamming the door behind him. He collapsed against a cupboard, his chest heaving and his cat mask shaking in his fist.
âOh thank you, thank you God,' I cried, rushing towards him and wrapping myself around his heaving chest. His heart was thudding so hard.
âYou've been ages,' said Corey.
âSssh,' he whispered, almost completely breathless.
âWhat happened?' Fallon whispered, gingerly standing up from the banquette.
âHe caught hold of me, that's what happened. Jesus. Check the window. Is he there?'
Corey crept towards the front of the van and looked through. âDoesn't look like it. Did he actually see you?'
âSaw me?' Max wheezed. âHe had me in a bleedin' headlock at one point.'
âOh God,' I said.
âI was going to put the note through the letterbox and I didn't hear him coming behind me up the path. He tackled me to the ground.'
We all gasped at the same time.
âI managed to get free, and I just kept running. I made it up the High Street. Round by Tesco, he got me again on
the grass, slammed me down. Look at my jeans.' In the dim light, we could see his mud-caked knees. âI just kept going round and round, like a knob, him grabbing me, me dodging him.'
âOh you poor thing, Max,' said Fallon, kneeling down beside him and clutching his arm. She was out of breath herself now, despite the fact she hadn't run anywhere. âOh God, he knows who you are. He knows it's us!'
âI dunno. I had this on all the time until the elastic snapped on the back,' he said, holding up his creased white cat mask. âHe kept saying “Who are you? What do you want? Did you send me that thing in the box?” He's pissed off, man. Way
way
pissed off.'
âDid he hurt you?' I said, holding both his freezing cold hands.
âNo not really,' he said, pulling me in again for a cuddle. His heartbeat had regulated a bit now, but his chest still heaved. In the orange glow, I could see the mud all over his Vans and grass stains on the elbows of his blue hoody. The side of his face was grazed with mud too.
âI was so scared, Max,' I said, nuzzling into his hot neck and keeping my face there.
âHow did you get away?'
âSheer luck. He nearly had me though.'
âThat could have been bad. That could have been so bad,' said Fallon.'
âIt was bad enough,' Max laughed, wiping the sweat from his top lip. âIt's getting dodgy. I say we don't do anything else for at least a couple of days. What do you think, Ells?'
I thought for a moment. I thought about how scared I'd been when Max was out. How close he'd come to being hurt or worse. I thought about Corey in that toilet cubicle
when Zane had rearranged his face. He could have done that to Max, too. My beautiful Max. And then, all at once, I was angry. It spurted out of me before I could pour any cold thoughts on it.
âNo,' I said. I pulled back from Max. âWe have to keep the pressure on. We just need to be more careful. Plan things better. Did you say you still had the note?'
âYeah,' said Max, removing the crumpled page from his jacket pocket. âBut, Ellaâ¦'
âI'll do the note. He won't catch me.'
âI'm not letting you go anywhere near him when he's this riled. He's expecting stuff to happen so he's on hyper-alert now. You won't get away with it. He'll know it's you.'
âI think he already does,' I said.
âWhat?' said Corey, fiddling with his hearing aid.
âOh, come on, guys. He must know it's us by now. He strung up your cat in your front garden, Corey. Even if he didn't see your face that time at the gym, or on the seafront, he'll know you by your clothes. He'll know me by
my
clothes. I'm the only girl in the county who can outrun him, anyway. It doesn't matter if he sees our faces. He's rattled. And we want him to stay rattled. Don't we?'
âYou're not doing it,' said Max. âNo way.'
âI'll do the note,' said Corey, standing up from the banquette. âI'll do it tomorrow night. It's my revenge, so I should be the one to do the most dangerous task.'
âNo,' I said firmly. âI'm sorry, but you're just not as fast as me. It makes sense if I do it.' I turned to face Max again. He wasn't happy. âWe'll wait a couple of nights. At most. Let him stew in his own paranoia. Then I'll do the note.'
âEllaâ¦'
âHe won't catch me, Max. They don't call me Volcano Girl for nothing.'
âSo how did the revenge on Shelby come into play?'
âC
ome on, Jess; just one more, please!'
âYeah, please, Jess. Tell us one of
your
stories.'
âOne of mine?'
âYeah!'
âI don't know. Zane got scared last time with my Black Cat story, didn't you, Zane?'
âI did not.'
âYou so did, Zane.'
âI did NOT!'
âLiar. You wet your pants.'
âHey, come on now, don't fight. Choose another story, not a scary one.'
âOne about the island. Please?'
âYeah! About the pirates. And the jewels they kept in the walls of the cave.'
âNo, Corey, that's silly. Jess, tell us the one with the girl who wanted to wreak a terrible revenge on her whole family so she put this stuff in the Christmas turkey that made everyone need the toilet.'
âYEAH! Then she blocked up all the toilets so they had to poo their pants!'
âPlease, Jess, that one please!
âYeah, go on! “The Terrible Terrible Revenge”!'
âPleeeeeease?'
âYou've heard that one so many times, though. Ella, do you want to hear the one about the Terrible Terrible Christmas Revenge?'
âYes, please, Jess.'
âOK. Are you all snuggled down comfortably? So, there was this girl who hated her family so much that she decided to wreak a terrible revenge on them. And one Christmas morning, she finally saw her chance. It would all start to happen as her family sat around the dinner tableâ¦
*
The last thing I needed that Sunday morning was lunch with the Rittmans, but I had no excuses. There was nothing I could say or do to get out of it. Max even picked me up. Door to door.
âUnaccustomed as I am to public speaking,' Neil began, standing up from his position at the top of the dining table (â
part of a limited edition set, carved from a now-extinct tree from the Amazon delta')
. There was the usual flurry of groans and scrunched-up napkins as he scratched the end of his nose to flash his watch (
âa Breitling Transocean Chronograph with gold face, diamond numerals and unidirectional bezel, £7,000').
âI'd just like to say a few words to the gathered throng, if I may.'
âYeah, make it quick though, Neil. I wanna be back home for Christmas!' called out Auntie Manda, who was sitting on my left in a feathery jumper that made her boobs stick out like traffic cones. Her kids were sitting alongside her. The twins were in matching pink dresses, playing some iPad game where you had to tap the screen like a maniac, the
baby was in her high chair, gnawing on a soggy Yorkshire, and Shelby was texting. By the look on her face, she hated this as much as I did, though I'd noticed a few smiles in Max's direction and a shared giggle as they brought out the condiments. He said they were laughing about Granny Ethel's back-to-front blouse. I didn't believe him.
âAll right, all right,' said Neil, adjusting his Hugo Boss golfing trousers (
â£900')
over his substantial gut. He picked up his red wine glass and held it aloft. âI'd just like to thank my darling wife Joelle for this wonderful repast. You've outdone yourself again, my girl.' There was a round of applause. âShame about the roasters, but you can't expect miracles, can you?'
I'd seen that one coming. Neil rarely went too long after singing Jo's praises only before he cut her down again like a weed. Jo didn't help herself â she was constantly on mute when Neil was around, so small and mole-like, like she was apologising for being alive.
âI'd also like to thank my dear old mum for making it here all the way from Cobham today,' he droned on. âI never thought the broomstick would make it this far.'
Sweat beaded my forehead; either the roast beef sweats or the closeness of all these hot bodies. The bay windows were steamed up, too â I could barely see the garden, just a vague blue blob where the pool was.