Authors: Stacey Kennedy
When I met the back of Valor’s house, and saw his backfield was full of wolves, my confusion only deepened. “What’s happening here?” I asked Kyden.
He smiled. Never had his smile looked so sad. “A mating ceremony.”
“Whose?”
“Isla.”
Oh!
I glanced back out, immediately connecting with Valor as he approached me. By the time he reached me, he was frowning. “Nexi,” he whispered.
“Hello, Valor,” I said in return.
His entire body tensed. Why was he looking at me like this? He could barely contain himself. What was going on? Before I could think of that anymore he leaned forward, shocking me completely when he kissed my lips.
As he backed away, he placed his hands on my shoulders, and bowed his head to meet my gaze. “You are a part of my family, no matter what. Do you hear me?”
Before I had a chance to really process that, Isla appeared beside me. She wore a long flowing pink chevron dress, her eyes focused deeply on Thor even as she said to me. “Thanks, Nexi.”
My mind reeled, trying to understand all this. Why was she thanking me? But then, a memory surfaced, a conversation with Valor. It was impossible to understand my motivations now. Why had I thought it so important that Valor agree to this bonding ceremony? After a moment of thinking, I came up blank.
Luckily, no one said more on the matter
Valor took Isla’s arm and approached Thor. Then, the ceremony began. Kyden wrapped himself around my back. I leaned against him and listened to Valor’s words. Saw the happiness spread across Isla’s face and the way Thor watched her with adoring eyes.
As each second passed and each word spoken, an odd feeling began to stir within me. I tried to shake it away, clenched onto Kyden tighter, but something about being here, seeing this bond gnawed at me. Made me yearn for something, but I just couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
“Thor.” Valor smiled, completing the ceremony. “Kiss your mate and seal your bond.”
Thor smiled gloriously, then took Isla into a brilliant kiss. Two souls, long withheld from one another had finally become one.
Swiftly, it hit me then. What I felt made sense. I was filled with an uncontrollable jealously, completely desolate that they were experiencing this and I wasn’t.
This should have been my life.
The worst part—and it hit hard—I was feeling it in Kyden’s arms. I was losing myself while he touched me. A wave of sickness washed over me. Without thought, I pulled away from him and ran.
“Nexi,” Kyden called out.
I didn’t look back as I ran toward the front of the house. Once there, away from watchful eyes, I dropped to me knees and threw up violently. I heaved so deeply, it was impossible to breathe.
After my stomach settled, I raised my head to see Rynn standing beside me.
“You okay?” she asked.
I wiped my mouth and leaned against my legs. “No.”
Anger burned within me, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I had been throwing up. What made me sick? I knew something upset me, but I just couldn’t place it. Couldn’t remember the emotion that went with it.
Rynn lunged forward, wrapped herself around me and hugged me tight. “It will be alright. It has to be.”
My arms stayed glued at my sides, fists clenched. “No, Rynn. It doesn’t.” My voice came out as a low growl. Everything was wrong. Nothing was how it should be. I wasn’t where I should be.
Immediately, she backed away, scrambled back so she rested a foot away.
Darkness, hate and rage burned within me.
Briggs suddenly was there beside her, lifting Rynn to her feet and placing her protectively behind him. “Nexi,” he said, cautiously.
“What,” I snapped.
Apprehension spread across his face. Why shouldn’t he be afraid? I could destroy him where he stood, but I didn’t want to do that. Something made me hesitate from taking my rage out on him.
Kyden was right behind him, but he didn’t stop and didn’t look afraid. He stalked right toward me.
“Stay away from me,” I growled.
“No,” he growled back, threw his body at me.
The second his body landed on top of mine, I was flooded with heart-wrenching despair as my mind cleared and I realized what had just happened. Even his connection was fading. The bond with Magnus was taking me to the one place I thought it would never reach.
“Kyden…” I exhaled.
“I am here,” he stated with a heartrending sigh.
The smell of flowers and thriving grass was all around me. I circled around, my gaze running across a view of a beautiful garden. As much as it pleased me to be surrounded by a natural wonder, something pleased me more. “Magnus,” I called out.
Magnus chuckled softly and suddenly appeared beside me. “Hello, beauty,” he purred.
I smiled back in return. Every part of me was glad to be with him. Happiness rang high in my soul. “Where am I?” My voice sounded songlike.
“This is the dreaming,” Magnus replied, taking my hand.
I glanced down toward our joined hands. It had never felt so right. “You can enter someone’s dreams?”
“I can enter yours.”
He pulled me down to sit on the soft grass in front of a rushing brook. Reaching over, I ran my hands through the cold stream. It felt so real—too real.
My gaze drew back to him as he reached up, brushed his fingers against my cheek. “I am glad to see you.”
I leaned into his hand, a touch never felt so good. “Me too.”
He squirmed in closer, leaned down to take my lips. His kisses were slow and savoring. He didn’t rush anything about it. There was no heat in them, just love and adoration. This wasn’t about ravishing my body, he wanted to enjoy it.
I grabbed onto his shirt, pulled him closer, and our lips met with the softest of touches. With every glide of his tongue, caress of his lips, I melted into him further.
He sighed deeply, then released me. His expression shone of intense longing. “What do I have to do to show you? To get you to see that my only wish is your happiness? To give you everything you ever wanted?”
“I believe you,” I whispered. And I did. I believed he would give me everything I wanted and more. I would never go without. Never be in danger again. He would protect me always. I didn’t doubt it for a moment.
His face softened and he leaned back in to take my lips. Seconds later, I was naked. I wasn’t sure which of us did it, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that his soul was connected to mine, and we were about to deepen our bond.
There was nothing dominating about him, nothing that pushed for this. He lowered me back slowly until I lay on the ground before him, then he lifted his head to gaze upon me. “You are utterly exquisite.”
I blinked. When my vision returned, he was naked too.
I rejoiced in seeing his brilliant body. Every muscle cut splendidly, hard lines defining his sculpted physique. Nearly bald head, high cheekbones, dark eyes were all superb. He was all mine to savor and enjoy. His square chest meshed with deeply defined abs that led to a glorious V, which met large-toned thighs, and a perfect part that made him purely male.
He lowered himself between my legs, and kissed along my neck, nibbling, teasing until I began squirming beneath him, urged him to take my body and claim me. His hand ran the length of my body and he reached down, tested my readiness for him. When I soaked his fingers with a pure need to have him, he groaned deeply.
“I would take the time to pleasure you until you are well satisfied, but I fear we do not have the time. I need to take you.” His voice was tight with urgency.
His words confused me. Why didn’t we have time? We were meant to be together. Why did we have to rush? When he pressed himself against me, thoughts fled my mind. I moaned as he slowly entered me. He slid inside me and spread my thighs wider with his legs to give him a deeper reach.
Nothing felt more beautiful.
He didn’t thrust deeply, but moved slowly, his eyes glowed as he looked down at me. I lifted my hips to meet his as little flickers of pleasure began to overtake me. Finally, everything felt just as it should be. To feel skin against skin and know our bond was at last settling into place.
My soul was thrilled—I was his.
This was nothing about possession. This was about two souls that were meant to belong together finally becoming one. I reached up to cup his face as he began to increase his speed. Never had my body responded like this, my body was completely and utterly aroused by him.
Without as much as a hard thrust, he had me climaxing, his body hitting the perfect spot over and over again. He was meant to be inside me, the perfect length and thickness to hit the source of my pleasure constantly.
As my body tightened around him, he lowered his head to mine so our gazes locked, unable to look away from each other. “Yes, give yourself to me.”
Only a stroke later, my orgasm tore through me, leaving me to shudder beneath him. He never stopped moving slowly. Never stopped gazing at me. The longer it continued, the more he glowed. Apparently, he needed this to seal our bond, to feel me give myself enough to orgasm because he was overjoyed.
Within minutes, he had me right there again, but this time his face was intense, he was about to finish.
Just then, a scream cut through the sensation.
“What was that?” I gasped, my orgasm exploded through me, even though my mind was telling me that something was wrong. Magnus began pumping harder, needing to finish.
A hard slap on my face startled me.
“What?” I managed as the lingering effects of my release tingled.
Magnus let out a deep groan as he shuttered his release. Then, he raised his hand to me face, sighed with annoyance. “Soon I will have you and take your body as I like.” He smiled.
A black flash filled my eyes. Then, I was back in my bedroom, lying on the bed with Zia slapping my face hard. Haven and Finn were there as was Talon. Kyden was shaking me, yelling.
Zia slapped my face again hard. “Ouch,” I complained.
Her face relaxed from its grave position. “Are you okay?” she asked quickly.
My head was swimming. I couldn’t quite grasp what had happened. Haven sobbed loudly.
“What happened?” I asked Kyden, grabbing his hand to feel the connection to him. It was still there, but weaker than before.
Kyden looked tightly wound, torn to pieces. “He was fucking you,” he growled.
Clarity emerged. “Oh God…no.” I had just given myself willingly to Magnus. What had I done?
“Nexi,” Zia shook me. “Do not feel shame over this. He took you in the dreaming. You are not as strong there. You would not have had the ability to refuse him.”
My tears came hastily, my voice all but a broken whisper. “Kyden…”
“No,” he shouted, causing me to jump. “He does not get to fuck you.”
Talon lunged forward, punched Kyden in the face, which knocked him straight to the ground. Kyden slowly raised his gaze to Talon, then he erupted.
The two of them were rumbling around the floor, scuffling in anger with Haven screaming for them stop. Suddenly, she passed out. Finn lunged toward her and scooped her up. Obviously, the situation was too much for her to handle.
“Stop it,” I roared in a voice that wasn’t my own, and with it I sent a blast of Air, separating Talon and Kyden. Annoyed, I urgently just wanted to be alone. When these idiots were fighting over…
What were they fighting over? Me being with Magnus? But why would that upset them?
With that, my annoyance shifted to rage. Why was I here? Where was Magnus?
“You fool,” Talon spat. “She needs you. This was not her choice.”
Kyden’s shoulders sank in defeat. “I can’t take this.”
Zia suddenly propelled me forward, pushed me into Kyden’s lap. My mind returned to me, I grabbed his arms and held them tight, as they lay lifeless. “I love you, Kyden. I love you.”
My heart sank as it was beginning to feel like those were just words with no emotion behind them. I knew a part of me loved him, but it was such a small part now, and I couldn’t quite remember what loving him meant.
Kyden slowly met my eyes, and the thin line of love I felt plummeted. “It is not enough, Álainn.” With that, he stood and left.
My butt hit the floor as I slumped to the ground. Empty. Confused. Angry. The moment shared with Magnus had stirred something in me. It solidified our bond, made me need him more. Want him more and miss him terribly. Seeing Kyden walk away made me feel nothing.
“How did you know?” I asked Zia, my voice cold, empty and flat. What I really wanted to ask is
why did you stop it?
“Willow’s hissing woke up Kyden and he came to me. Just as he did, Haven appeared, sensing something was wrong. When I came to you, I read into you, saw what was happening,” Zia said, grabbing my hands in hers.
Rage gripped me that they intervened. “I fucking hate this.”
“I love you,”
Willow said as she lunged into my lap.
“Get off me,” I yelled, shoving her off.
Willow let out a little whine and snuggled into Zia.
Zia sighed, petting her head. “Fate has dealt you a difficult hand but we will love you nonetheless.”
“I’m just so … so … angry.”
Tears fell from her eyes, her bottom lip quivered. “I know you are, Sweetie. I believe it might be time for you to accept this and move to the Underworld. The strain on you is becoming too much. Look at how angry you are becoming. This is what will happen if you continue to stay away from Magnus. Now that you have sealed your bond with him, it will only get worse. Your soul is craving him. You cannot deny it any longer.”
The biggest part of me was saying, yes, that is exactly what I need to do. Go be with Magnus where I belong. However, a very small part, told me to stay. It only made the rage within me burn deeper.
Haven finally came to, and Finn took her away while she sobbed hysterically. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists, ready to hit something, when I was unexpectedly lifted into strong arms.
With Kyden’s touch came a rush of emotions. The strongest one was sadness, then longing and yearning for who I once was and with it came tears.
“Hush now,” Kyden whispered. “I’ve got you.”
I could barely breathe, let alone speak. Everything was just wrong. All that remained was sadness, but the oddity of it was that I couldn’t quite grasp why I was so sad. I just was and profoundly so.
Kyden headed out toward the garden. At the bench by the pond, he sat and cradled me in his arms. We stayed there like that what felt like hours while I cried, and he held me tight.
“I shouldn’t have left you,” Kyden finally said when my sobs became controlled. “I am sorry for that.”
I gripped his neck tightly as I met his gaze, not wanting to hear apologies, because I was sure if anyone owed one, it was me. I couldn’t find it in me to say it, though.
“Doing that with him…it won’t be long now, Kyden. It strengthened his hold. I feel it. Our connection is weak. The only thing I feel around you is sadness. I can’t remember anything else. It’s like I know that I want to be here with you and everyone, but I just can’t remember why. There is no emotion behind anything anymore. I act and do things, but it’s almost like instinct, not because I really want to.”
Kyden’s sigh was full of heartache. “This will all be over soon.”
“Over?” I repeated. “How?”
“I have issued a challenge to Magnus,” he said.
I jumped off him, fearing for his life. The moment his contact left mine, however, anger fumed through me. “You did what?” Rage consumed me. Hate for Kyden, even at the suggestion to kill Magnus, engulfed my entire being.
Kyden grabbed my hand in his and pulled me back onto his lap, the storm quickly smoothed away to fear for Kyden. “It is the only way to end this. I cannot continue on this way. Seeing you go through this. Seeing you in this much pain…It is intolerable, and I told you, I will do what I can to keep you.”
“No, Kyden!” My voice shook with fear as I pleaded for him to stop this. Magnus was a Warlock, Kyden had no protection against magic. “He will kill you.”
Kyden sighed deeply, his eyes showed deep despair and emptiness as he sat with slumped shoulders. “I am already dead if I do not have you, Álainn.”
“No,” I screamed at him, at the world. I spun on my heels and ran to find Talon.
At the castle, I threw the door opened and rushed into the Council’s Hall. Talon had his arms wrapped around Zia in a tight embrace. He released her at my approached, and I slammed into him, began to thump on his chest. “You have to stop this. You cannot let this happen. You can’t let him do it. Stop him.”
Talon grabbed my wrists, forcing me still. “I can’t. This is his choice. It has already been arranged.”