The Do-Over (26 page)

Kyle went to the bar with several colleagues, determined to break his spell of misery with sex. He reasoned that even if he didn’t feel an attraction to the girl, the act would cure his heartache. That’s when he saw the cute blonde staring at him. He sent her a drink. She had long, shapely legs and large breasts that threatened to fall out of her too-tight top at any moment. She was the perfect distraction. She smiled appreciatively at Kyle every time he sent her a drink, and he replied in kind. It didn’t take long for her to approach him.

“Thanks for the drinks. I’m Missy,” she said, sidling so close to him their shoulders touched.

“Thanks for the smiles, Missy. I’m Kyle,” Kyle replied, hardly looking at her.

Then she said the four words that were clear and concise in meaning. The words Kyle usually said first. The phrase wasn’t full of confusion and heartache like those other three words:
I love you
. They were simple and straightforward. “Your place or mine?”

“Yours,” Kyle replied, finishing his drink.

Missy rubbed herself all over Kyle during the cab ride, but he kept shaking his head, telling her to be patient. He’d never been shy about public displays, but then again, he’d changed. Kyle sat on her couch while she straddled him, running her lips across his neck. He couldn’t reciprocate. He felt sick. This girl smelled like cheap perfume and cheaper wine. She didn’t smell sweet and delicious like Lanie did. She wasn’t sweet or delicious in any way. Kyle pulled her off his lap.

“What’s wrong?”

“Sorry, I’m just not feeling it.”

She glared at him. “Are you crazy? You know I’m a model, right?” she said, as if trying to convince him.

“I can see that. I’m sorry, Misty, but I can’t do this.”

“It’s Missy, asshole!”

“Yeah, you got that one right. I am an asshole. See you.”

Kyle left her apartment, disgusted with himself. He walked the city for a long time before finally deciding to call the one number in his contacts he’d never used. The number he had in case of emergency only. One he’d never expected to call again.

A sleepy man answered. “Hello?”

“Want to meet for a drink?”

“Kyle? Where are you? I’ll be right there.”

Kyle sat at the pub table, sipping his drink and wondering if the man would look different from the way he remembered. He came in, brushing snowflakes off his navy coat. He looked as if he hadn’t aged except for the peppering of gray against his jet-black hair.

“Hi, Kyle, long time.”

“Hi, Dad, how are you?”

“I’m good, but you didn’t ask me here to catch up, did you?”

Kyle shrugged and took a swig of his whiskey. “Why not? I’m here in New York, and you’re here too. I thought we should meet up. You didn’t seem surprised I was here.”

Rich Manchester smiled appreciatively at the waitress’s svelte frame before ordering his signature dry martini. Kyle rolled his eyes. His old man hadn’t changed a bit. “Rachael told me you moved here. You may have disowned me, Son, but she didn’t. I know this isn’t a casual get-together. I haven’t seen you in ten years, and then you call me up close to midnight and ask if I want to join you for a drink.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“Is this about the girl?”

Kyle gaped at his father. How did he know about Lanie? The answer came as quickly as the question. “Rachael.”

“Yes, she told me. She said she’d never seen you like that with anyone.”

“This isn’t about Lanie. I don’t care what Rachael told you. I’m a private person. I have no need to parade my personal life like you do.” Rich winced in reaction to Kyle’s words.

The martini came, and Rich took a large drink. A bit of liquid spilled out due to his shaking hands. Rich was nervous. Kyle had never seen his father nervous. “Believe me, I’ve suffered for my infidelities. If I could take it back, I would.”

“You broke my mother’s heart.” Kyle couldn’t believe the strong emotion in his voice. He had never really confronted his father.

“There’s not a day that goes by I don’t think about that. I also managed to lose you in the process.”

“I know you’re going to blame it on your illness, but I don’t want to hear that.” Kyle used air quotes around
illness.

“Then what do you want to hear? Don’t get me wrong. I’m overjoyed you called me, but why are we here, Son?”

Kyle stared at his father for a long time, noticing how similar their features were. He wasn’t sure why he had called him, except to maybe have someone to share his misery with. “I don’t know.”

“I know. You think you’re me.” Kyle shook his head and began to protest, but Rich held his hand up to quiet him. “Rachael tells me the kind of life you lead. She says as far as she knows, you’ve never had a single relationship. She told me how you were with Lanie, and she knows you’re hurting.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“You may not be in my life by your choosing, but you will always be my son and my business. I know you’re the one who called me, but there are some things I need to say to you. Things I should have said a long time ago.” Rich took a deep breath followed by another long sip of his drink, as if he were trying to shore up the required courage for his next words. “I loved your mother, and I hurt her time and time again. I can’t make excuses for that. Here’s the good news. You are not me. I never thought about the ramifications of what I was doing until I was caught. You couldn’t even face that you might be capable of such a thing, so you broke it off and ran away before you could hurt this girl, right?”

“I was just avoiding the inevitable, Dad. I’m no saint.”

“No, you’re not, but guess what? Asshole is not a hereditary trait. You may have my eyes and hair, and you’re welcome for that, by the way. It’s those good looks that make you so successful with the females, but I know you have your mother’s heart.”

Kyle laughed sarcastically. “What makes you think that?”

“You were more of a father to Rachael than I was. You were there for her when she needed you and at a time when most kids your age don’t have the capacity to think of anyone but themselves. You’ve never cheated on Lanie, right?”

“No, never, but it’s not that simple. Our relationship was founded in dishonesty.”

“Dishonesty with each other?”

“Yes, when it came to my feelings for her, I was very dishonest.”

“So then it should have been very easy for you to cheat. If she didn’t even know how you felt, she couldn’t hold you accountable, yet you didn’t. Kyle, you’re not me. You’re a much better man than I ever was.”

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

“You don’t have to, but the truth is you’ll be miserable the rest of your life if you let my mistakes dictate your decisions. Do you care about her?”

“I love her.”

“Then tell her.”

Kyle swallowed, feeling his heart hammering in his chest, remembering the look on her face when he slammed the door on her. “I hurt her. I didn’t cheat, but I managed to hurt her just the same.”

“Then tell her you’re sorry and don’t do it again.”

“I think it’s too late.”

“Perhaps it is. So you can spend the rest of your life wondering if it was too late or get the answer to that question. As a journalist, I’m surprised you don’t want to find out. You’ve always wanted the answers.”

Kyle soaked in the words. He did, more than anything, want the answer. He wanted to hold Lanie again. He wanted to be honest with her. He just wanted to make her his in every way. In that moment, Kyle knew with certainty there was no way he’d cheat on her. Hell, he’d had so many chances. She’d told him they didn’t need to be exclusive, but he couldn’t bear it, not even then. Kyle knew if Lanie gave him a chance, he’d cherish her like she deserved. He’d put her on a pedestal.

“Thanks, Dad.” Rich smiled brightly, nodding gratefully to Kyle.

Kyle swooped up his jacket and headed for the door.

“Kyle…wait, you’re not going to stay?” Rich asked, his smile faltering.

“I’m sorry. I have some thinking to do.”

Rich nodded. “That sounds like a wise idea. Good luck.”

Before he left, Kyle stopped and placed his arm on his father’s shoulder. He wasn’t comfortable enough to offer a hug yet, but this much he could do. “Dad, if you want to call me, I promise I’ll pick up the phone.”

“That means a lot to me, Son.” Rich’s voice wavered a bit, and he covered the emotion by taking another swig of his drink. The olive branch had been extended, and time would tell if their relationship could be mended. Right now, all Kyle’s thoughts were focused on the beautiful, auburn-haired girl with golden eyes who didn’t seem to possess a negative feature, physically or emotionally.

It was so late that there were no more flights, but Kyle couldn’t go home. He had too many emotions running through him, so he walked, he ran, he sprinted, and, most of all, he reasoned. He thought of all the treasured moments he’d shared with Lanie. Their jokes, the deep conversations, all the acts of intimacy, and the secrets they shared. That’s when the epiphany came to Kyle, sudden and intense, like a proverbial slap to the head.

Lanie had done everything in her power not to be like her father, while Kyle had done everything in his power to be exactly like his father. In the end, they had allowed others to define their lives. They were kindred spirits in that way. They shared that horrible connection that allowed them to bare their souls to each other.

Kyle checked his watch, estimating how long it would take until he could be near her again. He had to see Lanie as soon as possible. He needed to beg her forgiveness and see if she returned his feelings. Hell, he needed to start building that pedestal. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

Chapter Twenty-Six

The next afternoon Kyle cursed the rush hour traffic and the slow cab driver who refused to change lanes, stubbornly remaining in the most congested path. At least it gave him time to confirm his reservation for a suite at the Marksman. He arrived at the parking garage and practically sprinted to his car. He had left in such a hurry that he never sold it, choosing to store it instead. Right now, he was very grateful for his procrastination. He took out the keys and stared at the jeweled key chain Lanie had gotten him. He realized she had always known him better than anyone else, but now he was done playing.

Kyle parked in front of Lanie’s apartment and turned down the radio. He’d cranked it up when he heard “Don’t You (Forget About Me),” the song made famous by the movie
The Breakfast Club
. He decided to ignore the ominous lyrics and take it as a good omen. He’d wanted to bring her something—a small gift, a peace offering, an olive branch of sorts. The obvious bouquet of flowers didn’t seem right for Lanie. His father had brought flowers every time he begged his mother for forgiveness, and Kyle couldn’t bring himself to repeat those actions. The inspiration came quickly when he spotted a grocery store. He’d run in and purchased a pint of her favorite ice cream, hoping they could eat it together in celebration, or better yet, she’d let him feed it to her in bed. Kyle felt the familiar stirring in his pants, one he hadn’t felt during his whole time in New York.

Kyle stood outside of her apartment, allowing himself a deep breath before knocking on the door. He shuffled nervously, a gesture that was foreign to him. There was no answer. He knocked harder with the same result. In all the scenarios he’d imagined, he never thought for a second Lanie wouldn’t be home. She should have been home from work by now. Was she on a date? His muscles tightened with a new flood of jealousy. Kyle stared down at the pint of ice cream in his hand, suddenly feeling foolish. He wanted to write her a note, but he had no idea what to say. He couldn’t exactly leave the ice cream on her doorstep either. He took out his keys to leave and noticed Lanie’s key on his ring.

Kyle unlocked the door before he could talk himself out of it. He would just put the ice cream in her freezer and write her a note. Not much had changed in her apartment from the last time he’d been here except there was a new painting hanging over the couch. Kyle knew without a doubt Lanie had purchased it. He doubted Cassie had any interest in art. The only color and line she ever spoke about was when it applied to makeup. The painting drew Kyle’s attention, and he found himself mesmerized by it. There was nothing neutral about it. It screamed with bright colors, making it a vibrant focal point in the earth-toned room. It was abstract, complicated, and lively…just like Lanie.

When he felt the ice cream container softening, he went to the kitchen to place it in the freezer. He closed the door and noticed an invitation for the Whitlow and White partnership dinner. Ironically, it was being held at the Marksman Hotel that night.
Lanie made partner?
Kyle instantly felt remorse. He knew how much this meant to Lanie, and he hadn’t even been here to support her. This would be a big affair at which the entire law firm would be present. The inducted partners not only brought along their significant others but their extended families to share their special night. He doubted very much that the evening would be special for Lanie with only Cassie and her mother to support her.

That’s when he decided he would be in attendance as well. He had missed so much. He wanted to be there to cheer on her successes. He looked down at his jeans and T-shirt, hardly appropriate attire for a partnership dinner. He hadn’t brought a suit, but he strolled over to the hall closet where Brad kept dry cleaning.

Kyle hesitated for a moment. Was it right to show up unannounced? He couldn’t stay away. Now that he was here, so close to her, he had to see her. He would leave if she told him to, but he had to know one way or another if he was too late. A second, slightly smaller pang of guilt hit him. Should he borrow Brad’s suit like this? The thought evaporated as soon as it formed…fuck Brad.

Forty-five minutes later, Kyle handed his keys to the valet at the Marksman Hotel. He smiled, remembering the special dinner he and Lanie had shared here on their first date.

“Nice key chain, man,” the valet kid said, holding it up. Kyle laughed at the gaudy “Player” key chain Lanie had gotten him. “It doesn’t apply anymore,” he said, more to himself than the valet guy.