The Do-Over (21 page)

“You sure she did this because you were cold or to keep you from moving?”

Kyle chuckled. “Probably both.”

“This was your family’s cabin, right?”

“Yes, I’ve been coming here since I was little,” he said softly.

They sat there quietly, staring at the crackling flames. Kyle rubbed Lanie’s arms and occasionally kissed her forehead.

“I had fun today.” He tried to make his voice sound chipper.

“Me too. How many girls have you taken skinny-dipping in that lake?”

Kyle tensed. “I’ve never brought a girl here.”

“Is it like your apartment? Because you’re private?”

“Sort of.” He could have stopped talking then. She didn’t ask any more questions. They were silent for a long time, but then he started revealing things he’d never shared with another person.

“This cabin represents some of my best and one of my worst memories. I don’t come here much. I’ve brought some buddies like Brad up here to fish. Rachael uses it for her family. Mostly it sits empty.”

“I’m sorry, Kyle. It’s beautiful here, so I know it must have been very bad to keep you from this place.”

He kissed her damp hair. “It was my tenth birthday. I was excited to spend the weekend at the cabin. That’s where we spent most weekends, so I assumed this would be no different. My father called my mother and said he had to stay in New York on business. When she told me we couldn’t come up here, I threw a temper tantrum. I made her feel guilty for ruining my birthday. Finally, she agreed to drive us up here. My mother hated driving, especially so far. In fact, her car needed brake work at the time, so we borrowed our neighbor’s car. She let me invite two friends too. Rachael was asleep by the time we got here, thank God. I saw my dad’s car in the driveway. I thought he came to surprise me. I practically leaped over the steps to the house, even though my mother yelled at me to wait. I ran inside and looked for him everywhere. Finally, I ran up to the bedroom and threw open the door. Then I just stood there in shock for a few seconds.” Kyle shivered, but it wasn’t because he was cold. Lanie gripped his hand, squeezing it. “As soon as I realized what was happening, I slammed the door shut. I tried to push my mother back and tell her we had to leave, but she was determined to open that door. My friends came in, and I shouted at them to get out. Rachael, thank God, stayed asleep. By the time my mother opened the door, my dad at least had his pants on, but the two women he was with were still half-naked.”

“Oh, Kyle, I’m so sorry.” She tried to turn towards him but was wrapped too tightly. Kyle leaned his head against hers, comforted by her warmth.

“It’s okay. I think it was the worst day of my life. I remember sitting on the front steps, listening to my mom and dad fight and the two women too. Finally, the women came out, but they didn’t leave.” Kyle flexed his jaw, feeling the familiar bitterness in his throat. “They couldn’t because my dad was their ride. They sat on the front steps with me. Do you know they actually tried to comfort me? I can still remember how they smelled.” Kyle wrinkled his nose with the recollection. “Like cheap wine and cheaper perfume. My dad finally left with them, but I’ll never forget the look on his face. He was angry with me. He wasn’t contrite or remorseful like he should have been. He shook his head at me and said, ‘Happy fucking birthday. You happy now?’ My dad had never spoken to me that way. We had a great relationship until then. My mom drove us back that night. I’ll never forget Rachael waking up and asking what happened. She asked for the whole two hours back, and none of us could answer her. My dad stayed away for a week.”

“But he came back?”

“My mom took him back. I thought maybe it was over, and he learned his lesson.” Kyle laughed cynically. “A few months later he told her he was at my soccer game when he wasn’t. It was the first in a long list of fake excuses. He used me and sometimes Rachael to cover for himself. I would tell my mom the truth, but after a while, it didn’t really matter. She’d always take him back. The few times she did have the strength to confront him, he’d buy her flowers and repent, promising to change. I hated my mom for that weakness. She was a great mom, but a complete pushover as a wife. She let him take advantage of her.”

“Kyle, that’s awful. She must have had so much love to do that.”

Kyle had never really thought of it that way. “I suppose so. She had a big heart, but I could see he chipped away at it every time with his hollow promises.”

“How is she now?”

“She died when I was sixteen. She had a heart defect, which was ironic, because I always thought he broke her heart a long time before that.”

“I’m sorry. I keep saying that and it’s not enough, but I am.” He could hear the waver in Lanie’s voice as if she was close to tears.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. I just wanted you to know why this place is bittersweet for me.”

“What about your dad?”

“What about him?”

“Do you still talk to him?”

Kyle laughed sarcastically and regretted it when he realized it startled Lanie. “I haven’t spoken to him since I graduated college. We were pretty much on our own after my mom died. He gave us money and hired a live-in housekeeper, but I took care of Rachael or vice versa, depending on who you ask. Rachael still talks to him, but I’ve decided I’m better off without him in my life. When I graduated college, he gave me the deed to this place as some kind of token of his regret. That’s kind of fucked-up, isn’t it?”

Lanie was wrapped so tightly she couldn’t shrug, but Kyle knew without a doubt that she wanted to. “You said this was the place of your best memories too. Maybe he wanted you to have it for that reason.”

“Maybe. I always thought I would sell it, but I never have. The thing is my mom loved it here too. We all did, and he took that from us. I’m sorry. This isn’t exactly romantic or—”

“Don’t do that. Don’t justify why you’re telling me. I’m just glad you are.”

“I don’t want your pity. I got over it,” he said much more sharply than he intended. She winced in response.”

“I understand. I feel bad for that little boy, but I feel worse for the man next to me.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t think you’re worthy of love, do you?” The fact that she’d pinpointed him so accurately caused Kyle to stiffen. She could be so intuitive that it made him feel completely naked with her at all times.

“I’m not. I’m selfish and greedy.”

“I disagree. I see how you are with Rachael and your nephews. How you are with me—gentle and kind, both inside and outside the bedroom.” Kyle had no response for her. She didn’t ask him for one. “I think you should talk to your father.”

“He’s a sex addict, a liar, and a cheat.”
Just like me.

“And your father. You only get one, and surely he loved you if you had some happy memories.”

Kyle normally would have been furious at such a comment, but coming from Lanie, it was so genuine and pure he couldn’t lash out at her. They were quiet again for a while, staring at the flames of the fire. He put his arms around her and tried to absorb the last of her shivers.

“Kyle, can I ask you something?” She said it barely louder than a whisper. Her voice was hoarse, and Kyle again hoped he hadn’t made her sick.

“Shoot.”

“Why did you bring me here?”

It was a fair question, but Kyle wasn’t sure of the answer. It came to him quickly though, and as he said it, he realized it was the most honest thing he’d said to her. “I could tell you it was because I wanted to spend the weekend with you, and we couldn’t get reservations anywhere else. That would be true, but it’s not the whole truth. The truth is I thought you would enjoy it here, and I also thought I would be able to enjoy it again…with you.”

“You were right. I love it. Thank you for bringing me.”

“You’re welcome, Lanie.” Telling the truth in this circumstance frightened him. He had to face the reality of what their farce was himself. He had sincere, deep feelings for the girl shivering in the fleece blanket next to him. Feelings he had no right to have. Feelings she didn’t return.

* * * *

“So why a hot rod?” Kyle asked, admiring the interior of Lanie’s sports car. Kyle would have insisted driving to the cabin himself, but she’d offered and he hadn’t wanted to pass up the opportunity to check out her car close up. It was a smooth ride.

“I like the power and control of it. I’ve always liked fast cars.” She was comfortable driving it, and Kyle found it a complete turn on, especially the way she handled the gearshift.

“It seems out of character for you. I thought you’d drive a four-door sedan with fifty airbags or something.”

“I’ve always wanted a sports car. When I was a teenager, our neighbor was fixing up a vintage hot rod he’d bought secondhand. I’d watch him for hours from my bedroom window.”

“Let me guess, eighteen and shirtless, right?”

“Yeah, that’s pretty accurate.”

“So there was someone then.”

“Well, I guess in hindsight, I can say I did have a big crush on him, but I crushed on his car more. I helped him at the end, acting as his lackey. I brought him tools and did the grunt work he trusted me with until it was fixed. He promised me the first ride for all my hard work.”

“Did you get your ride?”

She clutched the steering wheel so hard her knuckles whitened. “No, it never happened.”

“Why?”

“He decided to give Cassie a ride instead, one that doesn’t require you to turn on the ignition. He never talked to me after that.”

“Oh…I see,” Kyle said, feeling compassion for her. He could read between the lines, and he was happy to be Lanie’s first, but he could picture the scene. He knew without a doubt that Cassie had sabotaged Lanie just as she had with Brad.

She shrugged. “I was more interested in the car anyway.”

“I’m glad Cassie beat you to it. I know that sounds selfish, but I like being your first.”

She smiled. “It’s mutual, Kyle.” He felt a great relief with the words. He’d been worried she had regrets.

She pulled over into a gas station. Kyle pumped while Lanie went in to get snacks. She tossed him the keys on her way back. He was surprised but managed to catch them. “What gives?”

“I thought you might like to drive.”

Kyle salivated at the idea of driving this piece of hot machinery, but he was also touched because Lanie trusted him. He couldn’t enjoy the way the convertible handled, though, because of his guilt. He didn’t deserve her trust.

Chapter Twenty

Brad and Cassie had beaten them home, much to Kyle’s disappointment. He wanted more alone time with Lanie. Cassie was babbling nonstop about her spa weekend. She complained and complimented in the same sentences, so it was difficult to comprehend if she enjoyed it. Brad asked how their weekend was, giving Kyle a knowing look. Knowing because he had been one of the friends Kyle had invited to the cabin that fateful, horrible weekend when he was ten years old.

“We had a great time. We took the long trail,” Lanie answered.

Brad gave Kyle a questioning look, but Kyle just smiled at Lanie. “Private joke,” he said.

“Well, I have to go. Have to get up early tomorrow.” Brad kissed Cassie passionately. Kyle watched for Lanie’s reaction, but she wasn’t looking at them. She was smiling back at him. Maybe she was over Brad.

If she was over him, what would that mean for them? Kyle certainly hadn’t had enough Lanie time. He wasn’t bored with her in any way. In reality, he was scared she was fed up with him. He’d never thought that with any other girl.

Brad ended the kiss, holding Cassie’s shoulders. Kyle tried not to roll his eyes when Cassie batted her eyelashes like crazy. “I’ll see you on Tuesday, babe,” Brad said, and then he turned to Lanie. “I guess I’ll see you Tuesday night too, Lanie.”

“I’ll be there,” she replied.

Kyle had no idea what they were talking about. When Cassie walked Brad out, Kyle almost slammed the door behind them. “What’s Tuesday night?”

Lanie looked down nervously. “Dinner with my mom. Cassie’s introducing Brad to her.”

“What time should I be there?” The statement dropped out of his mouth as if it was the most natural thing to say.

Lanie looked at Kyle with horror and shook her head. “I could never subject you to that. I don’t even want to have dinner with my mom.”

“Lanie, it’s a step for them. We should have the same step. I want to be there.” He realized he did. Maybe it was his curiosity again, but it seemed like so much more.

“I don’t know about this,” she replied.

He pulled her in for a tight embrace. “I won’t come if you don’t want me to, but if any part of you would like me there as your pretend boyfriend…or just your friend, tell me a time.”

* * * *

Kyle pulled up to the stylish colonial in the affluent area of Lincoln Park. He was surprised Lanie came from money. She worked so hard for everything she had. It did, however, perfectly fit Cassie.

Lanie greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. Her mother was a svelte woman who looked like an older version of Cassie in a stylish red dress. Wow, Lanie’s mom’s a MILF, Kyle thought. She was fawning over a bouquet of flowers Brad had brought. Of course Brad would buy flowers. Kyle rubbed the back of his neck, wondering why he hadn’t thought of the gesture. It occurred to him right away. Kyle had never had any interest in meeting any girl’s mother before. Once he had met up at a restaurant with one of the girls he was seeing. Her mother had
coincidentally
shown up at the same restaurant. Once they were introduced, he excused himself to use the bathroom, made a beeline for the door, and never returned any of her calls. Now he was actually inviting himself to meet Lanie’s mother. What was happening to him?

“Mom, this is Kyle Manchester,” Lanie said, gesturing to him. “Kyle, my mother, Ellen Miller.”

Lanie’s mom must have remarried, but then Kyle remembered Brad had once used Cassie’s full name and her surname was Miller too. Kyle’s skills were slipping. They had different fathers. Their differences made more sense. Lanie never spoke of her parents at all.

“Kyle, it’s so nice to meet you. I was surprised when Delaney told me she was having a friend over.” Delaney? How did he not know her full name? It didn’t fit her. She was his Lanie.