He scooted off the desk and walked around to sit in his chair, but as he tried to escape the intense immediacy, Erik knew that putting physical distance between them was meaningless. He was so hard, he hurt.
His gaze shifted to the portrait of his wife as if she could help cool the fire in his veins. The fingers of his right hand mindlessly toyed with the gold wedding band on his left as he studied her classic pose. She was seated in a Victorian chair in front of the fireplace over which the painting was hung. She looked like a queen in a long flowing red dress—a red rose wedged between her fingers. Her flaming red hair completely covered her bare creamy shoulders. That was his Cassie. Elegant, sophisticated, and…
“She was very beautiful.”
The mellow voice interrupted his musing. “Yes, she was.” He met the million-dollar question in Michelle’s eyes and to avoid it, he immediately asked, “Do you really only wear jeans and tank tops?” He groaned inwardly at how the question sounded, especially after he’d been admiring his wife’s portrait.
“Why? Don’t you like my style?”
“Well,” he said, trying to choose his words carefully. “I was just hoping you had something a little less... How should I say this? Um—”
“Trashy?”
“I was thinking… provocative.”
“Oh.” She smiled tentatively. “The truth is, most of my clothes were stolen from a laundromat. Since I lost my job, I could only afford to splurge at thrift stores. They don’t carry much for tall skinny girls, I’m afraid. Actually, I was at the laundromat when the agency called me. I hardly had time to finish my wash and get here. I was planning on wearing a jacket over the top, but when I got in the cab I realized I’d left it hanging on the doorknob. I didn’t have time to go back.”
So the explanation she’d given him earlier was payback for the lie he’d told Mrs. Hayes to relay, Erik thought with a smile.
He knew that Michelle’s world, where people went out to do their laundry and had their clothes stolen, existed. He attended patients at the free clinic in Manchester who came from that world. He was just never part of it. He’d never lived in it.
Even though the circumstances surrounding his birth had raised a few eyebrows in the elite circle, he was born and raised in wealth. His late wife had also come from a wealthy family. Michelle Carter on the other hand had been born and raised in poverty.
As he gazed at her standing in front of him in clothes that someone else had worn and discarded, Erik felt a strong protectiveness toward her. He wanted to provide all the luxuries she’d been denied. Yes, he was physically attracted to the girl, but something about her touched a place deep inside him, a place no other woman—but Cassie—had ever been able to reach. Strange, since the two women were as different as pink diamonds and cubic zirconias. Nevertheless, he couldn’t have her walking around the house or the neighborhood so distastefully dressed. “I’ll give you some money for a new wardrobe,” he said, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet.
Her shoulders stiffened and her eyes flashed with pride. “I don’t take charity.”
“Who said it was charity? Consider it an advance on your first paycheck.”
Her lips relaxed into a smile. “That, I will accept.”
Erik pulled out a stack of bills from his wallet and handed them to her.
“Thank you.” She tucked them into the pocket of her jeans without even looking at them.
Erik sensed her embarrassment for having to accept pay she hadn’t yet earned, especially in cash. A check would have been the normal and appropriate form of payment, but she would have had to wait the usual two days for it to clear, and he needed her clothed in proper attire immediately. “I noticed you brought your suitcase,” he said in an attempt to break the awkward silence between them. “Were you so sure you would get the job?”
She crossed her arms about her body. “I can be very persuasive when I want something.”
Nothing kept her down for long, and she possessed an uninhibited streak he found absolutely enticing, Erik thought as he watched amusement sparkle in her eyes. His gaze roamed down her body as she tightened her arms across her chest, causing her breasts to push upward and her nipples to strain against the stretchy material of her top.
“Well, that’s it for now,” he said, eager to have her gone. “Your bedroom is next to Precious’. Up the stairs, third door on your left. I’ll bring your suitcase up.”
“Thanks for giving me this chance, and the advance on my salary, Dr. La—”
“Come on now,” Erik cut her off with a grin. “If you insist I call you Michelle, you better start calling me Erik. Especially after subjecting me to that horrible pig face you made. It’s the worst I’ve ever seen. Just promise me you’ll never do it again.”
They both burst out laughing.
Michelle’s heart leaped at the sound of his deep chuckles. There was a humorous side to him under that grim exterior he’d initially exhibited. Michelle had no idea what had caused him to take an immediate dislike to her, but his attitude changed the moment she made his daughter laugh.
She could tell he loved his child more than anything else in his world and that he’d appreciate anyone who contributed to her happiness. Today, she was that
anyone
. She had a job. She had a place to sleep. She would have a home-cooked meal tonight. She wouldn’t have to jump out of bed tomorrow morning and rush over to the corner store for a newspaper to check the want ads, or spend time on the Internet, sending off resume after resume into cyberspace. She could relax for the first time in almost two years.
Well, that is if she could bring herself not to fantasize about the dangerously sexy doctor. From the way he’d gazed at the painting of his wife while fiddling with the wedding band on his finger, Michelle sensed he was still in love with her. They were worlds apart—employer and employee, and the sooner she accepted that fact, the better off she’d be.
“I should check on Precious before she thinks I skipped out on her,” she said, heading for the door on legs that felt like overcooked spaghetti.
“Michelle?”
She stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Yes?” She licked her lips nervously.
“We’ll go over Precious’ schedule later. I have to return to the hospital, but I’ll be back in time for dinner.”
“Okay.”
“And, Michelle.”
“Yes.”
“Thanks again for making my daughter laugh.”
“You’re welcome, Erik.”
Erik watched her go, a fire kindling deep within him as he took in the delicate sway of her hips and buttocks.
Oh yes, she was trouble.
CHAPTER THREE
“You know what, Daddy?” Precious beamed from the opposite side of the dining table.
Erik smiled at the enthusiasm in his daughter’s eyes and voice. Since they sat down to eat, she’d been talking nonstop bringing him up to date on her exciting afternoon with her new nanny. “What, sweetheart?” he asked, wiping his mouth with his napkin and placing it on his lap.
“Michelle pushed me so high in the swing, I almost saw Grandpa Erik and Grandma Danielle all the way in Granite Falls.”
“Wow, that’s amazing. I didn’t know Michelle was so strong. I guess we got us a super nanny, huh?” He winked at Michelle.
“Yeah, we have a super nanny. She’s the bestest, funnest nanny ever.”
The joy in his daughter’s eyes filled Erik’s soul with gratitude. He smiled at Michelle, hoping she understood what she’d done for him, for them.
“I think you should wait a while before you go handing me a diploma,” she said.
“What’s a diploma?” Precious asked.
As Michelle explain what a diploma was, Erik looked around the elaborately decorated room with its Waterford chandeliers and gold cabinets filled with priceless ornaments Cassie had collected over the years.
It had been a while since he’d taken a meal in here. He and Precious usually ate at the kitchen table, something Cassie would never have approved. She was all about prestige and appearances, the very lifestyle he’d been trying to escape when he left Granite Falls. The table had always been laden with gourmet dishes on Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. They’d always had friends and family with whom to enjoy the elaborate meals. But since her death, he and Precious either went to his mother’s on the other side of town, or up to Granite Falls, his hometown, a three-hour drive north of Manchester.
The dining room had become a passageway from the kitchen to the family room. This afternoon, for some inexplicable reason, Erik had called Mrs. Hayes from the hospital and asked her to set the table for dinner. A faint smile ruffled his lips as he recalled that conversation.
“The formal dining room, Sir?”
“Yes, the formal dining room, Mrs. Hayes, where people sit down around a table and share a meal together.”
“And how many people will be sharing a meal, Sir?”
“Three.”
“Are you bringing a guest for dinner?”
“Tell Ms. Carter I expect her to dine with Precious and me tonight
.”
As he gazed at Michelle talking so naturally and easily with his daughter, Erik wondered about his choice. Was he trying to impress her? And why? They were sitting around a dinner table like some normal happy family. He at the head, Michelle at the foot, and Precious across from him—the way it used to be when Cassie was alive. It was a good feeling. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this… well, content. He could say it’s because Michelle had made Precious laugh. But Michelle had made him laugh, too. Really laugh.
He’d been closed and guarded for the past two years, and when he’d let his guard down this afternoon, he’d rediscovered something he lost the night Cassie died—his vulnerability. The thought of opening up himself and letting someone in both scared and thrilled him.
As the conversation about diplomas wound down, Erik caught Michelle’s gaze. “Why aren’t you eating?” he asked. She’d been twirling the stew around in the bowl since they sat down. He was on his second helping of the delicious stew and Precious was almost finished her first. Michelle had eaten two slices of sourdough bread, and two servings of the garden salad, but she hadn’t taken one single bite of the stew. “Is it not to your liking?”
“I don’t eat red meat,” she said.
“Are you a vegetarian?”
“No, I just don’t eat beef.” She set the spoon down, seemingly relieved that she didn’t have to pretend anymore.
“Is there a specific reason you don’t eat beef?”
“Calvin.”
A cold chill ran up and down Erik’s spine. Was Calvin her boyfriend? He’d forgotten to ask her if she were currently involved with anyone. He’d asked for someone older to avoid a repeat of the nanny taking off when she decided to start her own family. He didn’t want his daughter disappointed again. He took a quick glance at her and recalled the excitement with which she’d shared the stories of her afternoon with Michelle. She was already in deep.
He’d been so distracted by the effect Michelle had on him, he’d forgotten to ask her the most important question of the day. He couldn’t very well ask her if she had a boyfriend in front of his daughter, so he asked, as placidly as he could, “Who’s Calvin?”
A slow smile broke across her lips as if she knew the real question plaguing him. “A bull calf. Like in cattle.”
Calvin was a bull
. Erik let out his breath. “Where did you meet, uh—Calvin?”
“A few years ago, I stayed on a farm that my friend’s family owned. I got very attached to this one bull that I named Calvin. He had the most pitiful eyes, like he knew what would happen to him. I used to wish I had a house with a big back yard so I could adopt him. I promised him that as long as I lived, I would never eat beef again. For a long time after I left the farm, every time I smelled burgers or steaks cooking, I would think of him.”
“Yuck!” Precious dropped her spoon and spat a mouthful of stew back into her bowl.
“Precious, mind your manners,” Erik said.
“But we could have just eaten Calvin, Daddy.”
Michelle shook her head hastily. Her conviction was hers alone. She had no wish to convince Precious or anyone else to adopt her belief. “No baby,” she said smiling at the little girl. “Calvin was rescued by a nice man who took him far away to another farm where he fell in love with a beautiful cow named Izzy.”
“That’s sweet,” Precious said. “And they had lots and lots of baby cows and lived happily ever after, just like Cinderella and the Prince.”
“Just like Cinderella,” Michelle acquiesced, relieved at Precious’ naivety. She really had to watch what she said around the child. She was hired to babysit her, not indoctrinate her.
“How many babies did they have?” Precious asked, biting into a slice of bread.
“Well, I’d say...”
Feeling quite uncomfortable with talk about love, babies, and happily ever after, Erik tried to tune out the exchange between his daughter and Michelle. Love, babies, and forever was what he’d hoped for when he married Cassie.
If it hadn’t been for that drunk...
Well, he didn’t know that exactly. They never had the opportunity to resolve their last fight that night. He had no idea what he would have done if Cassie had confirmed his suspicions about her.
He couldn’t understand why people who claim to be in love lied, betrayed, and inflicted pain on each other. Love made you vulnerable. He’d been vulnerable to Cassie. He loved her more then he’d ever loved anyone, would ever love anyone again. Was that love strong enough to weather the storm of his suspicions, though? He would never know. All he knew was that he would never make himself that vulnerable to anyone, ever again.
Well, he was going to try not to, he reassured himself as his eyes rested on Michelle sitting where Cassie used to sit, her brown skin glowing under the richness of the russet cotton dress she’d changed into. Her obsidian eyes sparkled like black magic, daring him to reach out and taste the sweet essence of her soul. Erik tried to picture Cassie’s chestnut-brown eyes, but all he saw were those fiery, black eyes of an irresistible woman gazing back at him, inviting him to explore and revel.