The Downstairs Maid (43 page)

‘You please me very well as it is,’ he said and rolled over to the side of the bed. He took his gold cigar case, which had his initials embedded in diamonds, and extracted a thin cheroot, then offered it to Amy. She took it without hesitation, sitting up against the pillows. Belvane laughed as he lit it for her from his own. ‘Don’t draw too deeply at first. Some of these vices need to be taken slowly.’

Amy experimented and then smiled. ‘It’s not as bad as I feared. What else are you going to teach me?’

‘You want it all at once, don’t you?’ he said and laughed. ‘I shall have to teach you moderation, Amy. It can be dangerous to dabble in things without learning how to handle them.’

‘You won’t harm me,’ she said. ‘I know you’re dangerous and some people would think you bad – but you’re what I want, what I’ve always wanted.’

‘No regrets?’ he asked, tossing his cigar into a large onyx ashtray and taking hers from her. He began to kiss her shoulder. ‘You know you can never go back?’

‘I don’t want to,’ she whispered. ‘I want to be with you always. I don’t want to go home …’

‘You couldn’t move in with me here in London, Amy. We have to keep this a secret or people will talk and your family will order you home in disgrace. It would mean living abroad, somewhere you aren’t known.’

‘Then that is what I want to do,’ she said and laughed, gazing up at him with adoration in her eyes.

He stroked her throat delicately. ‘I shall keep you for myself in a palace by the sea. When the war is over we’ll travel. You’ll love the side of Paris I can show you,’ he murmured huskily. ‘We have to be careful for a while, Amy, keep our secret. I can’t just walk away from the RFC. I’ll need a few weeks to get out of it – and you’ll need to give them notice at your job. You’ll want papers so that you can travel. I’ll see to it all.’ He leaned over her, powerful and dominating, his dark eyes holding hers prisoner. ‘You won’t miss your home and family?’

‘I don’t have a home. The manor belongs to my grandmother. My family won’t matter to me if I have you.’

‘They may one day but perhaps you can mend fences when they’ve got over the shock.’ He laughed softly, kissing her lips. ‘Life will be so full of excitement and decadence that you won’t even think of your boring life here. Believe me, Amy. I shall make you forget all you ever knew …’

Going to him as he reached for her again, Amy laughed recklessly. Soon he would take her away from all she had known. She was free at last and nothing mattered but this glorious feeling inside … For this moment in time she did not care if the whole world knew her shame. She was gloriously in love and it was all she had ever wanted.

‘I’m being sent to France next week,’ Belvane said and sipped from his glass of vodka mixed with champagne. ‘Come with me, Amy. We’re almost living together most of the time. You’re going to have to make the break one day – do it now.’

She’d been lying back against the black satin pillows, her eyes shut, a look of satisfaction on her face. Her thick dark lashes flickered, and then she opened her eyes and smiled, pushing herself up against the pillows.

‘Of course …’ She reached for her glass and sipped. ‘You know I wouldn’t want to stay here if you go. I couldn’t stand being away from you – you’re like that drug you indulge in at times. I have you in my blood and I can’t do without you.’

‘My sweet adorable Amy,’ he murmured bending down to kiss her lips. ‘You know that once we go – once we’re openly living together the whole time – your family will disown you?’

‘Some of them perhaps.’ Amy traced the rim of her glass with her forefinger. ‘If they want to be stuffy let them. Lizzie would speak to me – and Nicolas. Nicolas won’t condemn me. I know his secret …’

‘Does he have one?’

Amy nodded. ‘He’s in love with Emily. She used to be my maid but she married a soldier. He’s been miserable ever since.’

‘Well, well, how amusing,’ Belvane said. ‘He should have made her his mistress.’

For a moment Amy felt coldness at her nape. Had she been a fool to throw away so much for his sake? Would she regret it one day? It was too late now – and she lived for the time they spent together.

She ran the tip of her tongue over moist lips. ‘When shall we leave?’

‘The day after tomorrow. You’d better pack your stuff and I’ll have it shipped over for you. I have a chateau in France. We’ll spend time there when we can, though I’ll be based in Belgium. We can pop back and forth in my kite.’

‘Are you allowed to do that?’

‘Rules are made for others.’ Belvane smiled. ‘Come here, my delicious one. I want to feast on those lips and that soft flesh of yours.’

‘I think you’re a vampire,’ Amy said and laughed, holding her arms up to him as he bent over her. ‘Just how wicked are you going to be today?’

‘I’m going to be in the area for a few days,’ Jack Manning said to Lizzie that afternoon. It was the week before Christmas and she’d been helping the nursing staff to put the decorations up when he arrived. He’d brought presents for the nurses and small gifts of whisky or chocolates for the patients. ‘I wonder if you’d like to come to a dance with me one evening? There is a rather nice affair going on at a hotel in Cambridge …’

‘I should love to,’ Lizzie said, her heart racing at the thought. She was so busy these days that she hardly had time to think about her life, though most of the officers in the home had asked her to marry them at one time or another. She knew they weren’t serious, but it was a running joke amongst them. Lizzie was popular because she always had a smile for everyone and was always willing to help in any way she could. ‘When is it on?’

‘This Friday,’ he said. ‘I’ll pick you up at the house, shall I?’

‘Yes please,’ Lizzie said. ‘Why don’t you come and have tea with us? Mama thought you were so nice when she met you. I know you will be welcome.’

Her honesty brought a faint flush to his cheeks, but he offered his arm and they walked up to the house together. Taking him through to the drawing room, she said, ‘Look everyone, Captain Manning has come back for tea.’

Her words fell into a heavy silence. Lizzie looked from her mother to her father and then her grandmother. They were all looking shocked. Jonathan had a grim expression and Mabel sat like a frightened mouse, giving the appearance of wanting to disappear through the floor. Had there been a terrible defeat for the Allies? Lizzie knew that the war wounded had been coming back in ever increasing numbers – but what had happened to make her family look like this?

‘What’s happened?’ she asked. ‘Granny – is someone ill? Please won’t you tell me?’

‘Captain Manning,’ Jonathan spoke at last, his manner stiff. ‘Will you forgive me if I ask you to return another time? As a friend of Lizzie’s you are of course welcome in this house, but I fear the family has had bad news.’

‘Of course. Forgive me, I should not have intruded.’ He glanced at Lizzie, his brows arched. ‘Friday at seven?’

‘Yes, please. I’m so sorry.’ Lizzie watched as he walked away. The clock ticking on the mantelpiece sounded so loud in her ears. The expressions on the faces of her parents and grandmother shocked her, making her feel very frightened. ‘What has happened?’ she asked again when the sound of his footsteps had died away. ‘Please … is it Amy? Is she ill …?’

‘Your sister is dead,’ Lady Barton said. ‘Dead to you and me and her family. She has disgraced us. You will not speak her name again in this house.’

‘Steady on, Mama,’ Jonathan said. ‘Amy’s behaviour is very shocking but she isn’t dead.’

‘She is dead to me and to her sister. I shall never permit her to enter this house again.’

‘What has she done?’ Lizzie looked at her brother, pleading with him to tell her the truth. ‘Please, Jon – why is everyone so upset?’

‘She’s run off with that fellow Belvane,’ Lord Barton said. ‘Met him in London apparently. Seems Nicolas took her to one of his parties. Shady fellow so I’ve heard – and your sister has gone off with him to Paris or Russia or some such place.’

‘Are they married?’ Lizzie asked, her throat tight. ‘Surely Amy wouldn’t …?’

‘He’s already married,’ Jonathan told her. ‘Nicolas wouldn’t have introduced her if he’d known.’

‘Thank God I did not allow you to go to London with her …’ Lady Barton said and sat down in her chair. ‘I feel quite unwell.’

‘Take a grip on yourself, Helen,’ Lady Prior said. ‘There is not the least necessity for you to have the vapours. What are we to do about the gel, Barton? Shall you fetch her back – or simply cut her off as this daughter of mine is suggesting?’

‘There must be some mistake,’ Lizzie said, her throat tight with tears.

Her sister couldn’t, wouldn’t shame them all this way. Surely it couldn’t be true. Once the scandal broke it would reflect on the whole family, but most especially on her. People would whisper behind her back and her chance of a good marriage was lessened by Amy’s selfishness.

‘In this case I believe Helen is right,’ Lord Barton said. ‘The scandal is going to be most unpleasant, but if we break with her we may protect Lizzie from too much damage.’

‘You will have to be very careful in future,’ Lady Barton said, looking at Lizzie. ‘We’ve given you too much freedom recently. I never approved of you working at the convalescent home and now I think you should stop.’

Lizzie stared at her in horror. She couldn’t mean it – she couldn’t go back to spending every day in the same dull routine, sitting in a frilly dress reading or playing the pianoforte. She would be so bored. It would be unbearable after her taste of freedom.

‘I’m useful there. Please, Papa, tell her that I’m doing a good job at the home. Don’t make me give it up – please.’

Her father looked at her unhappily. ‘I know you wouldn’t let us down, my dear, but perhaps your mother is right … just for a while. When the news of what Amy has done gets out … unless you are seen to be above reproach, your chance of a good marriage would be gone.’

‘Captain Manning asked me to a dance at a hotel in Cambridge on Friday. You said you liked him, Mama. Please don’t say I can’t go …’

‘You must know I would never approve,’ her mother said. ‘If you were engaged it would be acceptable – has he spoken to you yet?’

‘We hardly know one another …’

‘Then that speaks for itself. He must come to the house if he wishes to see you. Your father will explain and invite him to dinner. That is the proper way to proceed, Lizzie. Had you had your season, you would have met suitable young men at private houses. A private dance would be perfectly acceptable if we knew the hostess – but I shall not give you permission to go out with Captain Manning alone at night.’

Lizzie looked at her in dismay, her eyes pricking with tears. Her mother was trying to keep her on a rein and she would be nineteen next spring. Many girls of her age were working as nurses or drivers in the voluntary services. They were marrying their soldier sweethearts – and she was stuck here in this mausoleum of a house with her parents and grandmother. Didn’t they know that it was the twentieth century? The war had changed so much. Young women had so much more freedom these days.

A surge of rebellion went through Lizzie. She was not going to spend the rest of her life as a prisoner in this house. She would sneak out to meet Jack Manning on Friday night whether her mother allowed it or not.

Lizzie went up to dress for dinner as usual on Friday night, but when Alice came to dress her hair, Lizzie told her that she had a terrible headache. Alice was the new maid and had only been at the house a few days. Alice responded to instructions to tell Mrs Marsh she was ill and would not be down to dinner and went off leaving Lizzie alone. She locked her door and waited until her mother came to ask why she wasn’t coming down.

‘I have a terrible headache,’ she whispered. ‘Please, Mama, just let me sleep.’

‘Open this door at once.’

‘I’ve taken a tisane for my head. Please go away, Mama.’

‘Very well. I shall speak to you in the morning. This sulking is not becoming, Lizzie.’

Lizzie didn’t answer. She counted to fifty after her mother had gone, then slipped a velvet evening coat over her dress, picked up her purse and peeped out of the door. The coast was clear and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her family would be in the drawing room having a pre-dinner sherry. If she slipped down the back stairs, after locking the door to her room, she might make her escape without being seen.

Her heart was racing as she ran along the landing and down the stairs to the servants’ hall. They were all busy in the kitchen and she could hear the sound of pans clattering and voices raised in laughter as they went about their work. A delicious smell of dinner permeated the air, making her feel hungry. Tight with tension, she slipped past the kitchen and out into the back courtyard. It was dark outside apart from the light spilling out of the house. Lifting her skirts high, and taking off her satin dancing shoes, Lizzie ran past the old water butt, through the rose gardens to the front of the house.

She had brought a handkerchief, which she used to dry her feet before slipping on her shoes and disposing of the dirty handkerchief behind a rose bush, then walked sedately to the end of the drive just as Jack Manning’s automobile turned in at the gates. He halted, opened the door for her to get in and then turned to look at her. Lizzie knew he was surprised to see her waiting for him here rather than at the house. She could hardly look at him as she made her excuse.

‘Mama had a headache and the house was too warm,’ she said. ‘I thought I would take a little air.’

He accepted her explanation without question as she slid into the passenger seat. Lizzie breathed a sigh of relief. She’d made her escape, though if her parents discovered what she’d done she would be in trouble. Yet they already kept her almost a prisoner so what more could they do to her?

‘You look beautiful,’ Jack said. ‘I’m really looking forward to this evening, Lizzie. Unfortunately, it will be the last time that I shall see you for a while. I’ve been passed as fit and they’re sending me back to the Front after Christmas.’

‘Oh … I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I shall miss you.’