Authors: Rain Oxford
She teased me about how I would become more and more
overprotective as the months came along. Sammy started fussing quietly and we
both looked at him. He was sitting up in his basket waiting patiently for our
attention. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Hungry,” he said.
“I put some berries in his baby bag,” Divina said,
starting to get up.
I put my hands on her shoulder to make her stay in
the seat. “I will get it. You’re doing enough work growing our child.” She
shivered at my poor choice of words, but remained sitting. I figured that in
order to make her feel better, I would have to speak as if we were picking the
baby up at the store.
The bag was on the floor next to the basket, where he
couldn’t reach into it and throw something. It took a few minutes to find the
small plastic bag of fruit. When I pulled the bag out, the contents shifted to
fill the space and a dark red object caught my eye.
“Why is there an apple?” I asked, pulling the fruit
in question out. Sammy gasped. Divina shrugged. Something was wrong. “Where did
you get it?”
“I don’t know. I like apples, but I didn’t put it in
there,” she answered. “It must have been there when you two met him and got the
bag.”
I shook my head. “No way. He’s been with us for days
and I’ve been through that bag several times.”
“Apple, Dada!” Sammy cried.
Before I could respond, the door burst open and
Vivian stomped in, steaming. Nano followed her, not much calmer. “You have to
do what’s best for him!” he demanded.
“What’s best for him is to stay with his mother! If
you try to send him to the monks for even the weekend, I will take him and
leave you. We’ll go back to Earth and I’ll raise him myself!” He tried to say
something, but she cut him off. “Don’t even talk! I don’t care how powerful he
is; he’s my baby and you’re not sending him anywhere!”
I was flabbergasted and still holding the apple out
for Divina to see. Vivian took the apple from my hand and threw it at Nano…
unfortunately, Vivian has
always
had terrible aim. The apple missed him
and hit the lit lamp on the table. Predictably, the lamp shattered to the
floor. Unpredictably, there was a towel where the lantern fell and it instantly
caught fire.
Sammy cried, not in an upset way, but in a terrified-out-of-his-mind
way. Mordon opened the door and reacted instantly. With a gentle pulse of
nominal energy, the flames died and the room was dark. Instead of calming,
Sammy cried harder. I never knew what horrible sound a terrified baby could
make.
“It’s alright, Sammy. He’s afraid of the dark,”
Vivian said over his crying.
“I’ll get the spare lamp,” I said.
“Just leave it; it’s time for bed, anyway,” Vivian
said. Sammy outright screamed.
I ran downstairs, trying not to trip in the dark, and
pulled the spare lantern out from under my bed. I lit it with nominal energy
and ran back up the stairs. Sammy slowly calmed down until he was sniffling.
“Better, honey?” I asked, rubbing his head and keeping the lamp just out of his
reach.
He nodded.
“He will have to get used to the dark when he gets older.
I let him use a nightlight, but he’s usually fine in the dark until it’s bed
time,” Vivian said. “He can’t sleep in the dark. You try to get him to sleep
while I finish chewing Nano out.”
She dragged Nano out and the rest of us just stared
after her. “I guess it’s bedtime,” I said. “Sammy, I can’t leave the lamp on
all night.”
“I don’t want to be in the dark, Dada, he’ll find
me.”
“Who will?” I asked.
“I hide and he comes. In the dark he finds me. I
don’t want to hide.”
“You said that before, honey, but we killed the
demon. You don’t have to be afraid of him anymore, remember? He can’t hurt you,”
I said. I thought Sammy understood that the demon had been destroyed, but he
was clearly still scared.
“Not the beast. I’m not scared of the beast.”
“You weren’t talking about the demon? Then who? Who
will find you in the dark?”
“Vretial.”
Tiamat
Many times in my life on Duran, men have asked me to marry them. I said
yes more often than not. It wasn’t that I liked them, knew them well, or even
intended to follow through with it… It was because from the moment I said yes
to when I ran off, never to be seen again, the man would do anything I wanted.
There was no more coercion or persuasion, just simple obedience.
For me, the fun was in lining people up exactly where
I wanted them and watching it play out for a while. Then I would clear my board
and start over. Erono had created me an exceptionally beautiful body and I knew
how to play the role of any type of woman. After many years, I started to
forget who I really was, but never what I was. I was a god and I could shed
this mortal form at any time.
I never did. A god has no age, of course. There was
no time for us, so true life began when I was “born” a sago. Still, I feel like
there was life before the unending existence of us. Dylan never asked me about
the war or life before it.
Vretial told us that gods were not meant to be alone,
that we would each find someone to live our immortal lives with. I disbelieved
it immediately, but several of my brothers liked the idea. When Erono gave me
my sago life, Regivus was the first to warn me that I was never allowed to find
that someone. He said I was not old enough or responsible enough and that
nobody but another god could keep me happy. The others talked about finding
their mates as if there were more gods hiding somewhere outside the universe,
because no person was good enough.
I was fine with this and placated my brother. I found
the idea of a mate to be unnecessary and impractical.
Before I took a mortal form, the demons got out of
control and we decided to close the gates. Vretial was against it, but Regivus
argued louder, so we took his side, and created books instead. It worked for us
because we had more power for ourselves, until Vretial acted out. He attacked
Avoli and took over his world, which had been easy to do with Avoli’s book. We
forced Vretial out on his own.
Enki was the one to suggest the Noquodi. Noquodi
means servant, and that was what they were supposed to be. We made them
powerful enough to do our work for us, but not powerful enough to be a threat.
Erono picked two infants on his world, twins, and gave them the power they
needed. I volunteered to take one of them as mine. We watched them grow up and
learn to use their abilities. They succeeded at any test we gave them. Any
challenge they faced just made them stronger. So I sent Ronez to my world and
Erono kept Kiro for his. The other gods created their Noquodi.
It wasn’t until everything settled down that I
decided to change things up by taking a mortal form.
When Ronez met me, he knew I was more than sago. I
enjoyed having something to distinguish the days. He was fun to be around and I
saw my world through his eyes. We were too close, though, so he figured out who
I was and I had to demand that he never told anyone, not even his brother.
Ronez came to me one time and told me he slept with a
woman. It was not like he betrayed me; instead he was upset because he disliked
her. He asked me if I had compelled him to do it, but of course, I hadn’t. When
he found out she was pregnant, he told me something beyond human destiny was
taking place. I didn’t understand it until his child was born. We all knew that
the baby had Iadnah abilities. He was not a god, but he could eventually become
as powerful as us. Most of my brothers wanted him to be killed, but Ronez
begged for help from a few other Guardians. He never told his brother, which I
didn’t understand at the time. Ronez knew what would come to pass.
I convinced my brothers that the baby’s powers were
too unstable and would kill him before he came into any substantial abilities.
They left him alone, but Ronez had to leave him to be raised with the mother.
It made me wonder, though. How could a mortal be born
with our power? I wanted to ask Vretial, but my brothers made me stay away from
him. If they had let me speak with him, things may have turned out very
different.
When Ronez was killed by Vretial’s hand, my book
found its way to Dylan. I knew it would have and told Kiro to find and train a
new Noquodi. Just as he was supposed to, he brought Dylan back to become my new
Noquodi. When I met him in person for the first time, I was surprised. I had
been expecting him to be like the mother I had heard about; ignorant and
uneducated. He looked just like his father. He was sarcastic and silly, but his
soul was good, better than almost anyone.
Dylan had been raised in darkness. Everyone around
him was selfish and cruel, but he never took any of it inside himself. He never
let the darkness influence his soul. I should have known I would be changed by
him. There was something so strong about him… His soul was strong and there was
more life in him then there should have been.
Dylan had hidden depths, as well. He could be
incredibly wise. Even when he said something that sounded stupid at the time,
it turned out to be right. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him, but I made
matters worse by finding myself in love with him. It had to be love, brought on
by my pathetic mortal body, because it made me weak to him and strong to
others. I found I could stand up to my brothers to defend his moral dilemmas,
but I could never refuse him anything.
He became more powerful all the time. When I became a
little sick, I worried that I had worn out my mortal body. Having never been
sick before, I feared the worst, but I would not let that stop me from living
my life.
I was in a castle village on a sort of holiday. Dylan
was taking an exam in Anoshii or he would have been with me. It was always a
game for me to manipulate people into doing what I wanted them to, so I was
trying to unveil a slave trade. While the slime in charge was babbling his
misdeeds to the authorities, trying to cleanse his soul, one of the maidens
pulled me aside. She told me I needed to be more careful, and asked when I was
due. I was clueless and confused, which were still fairly new emotions for me.
When I asked for clarification, she told me I was pregnant. I told her that was
impossible and left.
And it was impossible. Dylan had asked about children
before and I explained to him that my body was created, not grown naturally,
and so I could not have children… but I was wrong. Dylan came back from his
test and we celebrated his victory as if my life was not completely tilting on
its axis. I had no idea what to do, but I knew the woman had been correct. A
mere mortal had brought my world to a screeching halt with her unholy truth.
I had to know for sure, but I could not turn to the
one I knew would understand. Vretial would have been able to explain it to me.
Instead, my remaining brothers discovered my secret and their suggestions
ranged from discarding my mortal form to killing Dylan. I knew Dylan could
change their minds about him. He proved himself to them and only afterwards did
I tell them that Dylan was my mate. When Regivus sighed and accepted it, the
others followed his lead. It helped that Dylan defeated the Ancient. Regivus
knew Dylan was powerful enough to be a threat and that I would not let him kill
my mate, so he had to give in.
I opened my eyes and turned to see Dylan sleeping
beside me. I usually had to cool my body temperature at night because he would
wake up on the floor otherwise, but this was winter and he could stand it when
the room was cold. Instead, in the winter, I would find the blankets on the
floor and him wrapped about me. He was careful when he was awake to be gentle
near my stomach. I hardly had a baby bump, but he acted as if there was a
ten-foot around egg protruding from me.
What a horribly grotesque thought.
Dylan’s face was relaxed as he slept. A Guardian’s
brain went through the same thing a normal person’s did when they slept, except
for dreams. For some reason, the combination of their power and immortality
kept them from having something so simple. Dylan once told me it was like he
was only half-asleep; while he was rested in the morning, he felt like he was
constantly waiting to be attacked. No matter what stage of sleep he was in, he
could sleep through usual loud noise, but any sort of scream or something
breaking, he sprang awake instantly. I liked it because he always enjoyed when
I gave him dreams.
I knew I could join him in his sleep, create a dream
to make it a more pleasant morning, but I was content to watch him. There would
be no more quiet mornings for a long time after the baby was born. Dylan would
be very disappointed in me if he knew I was thinking negatively about the child
for that. He wanted this child so badly… Would he even want me anymore when it
was born?
I had always been happy with the fact there were no
more gods, since I never wanted to be a mother. I never wanted to bend my life
around someone else… until Dylan. Before I met Dylan, life was easy. Dylan
liked who I was when he met me, but I was changing. When he asked me to marry
him, I said yes. It wasn’t because I loved him and wanted him to be mine or
that I wanted to be his, but because he wanted me to.
Dylan’s breath changed as he woke. He reached out to
wrap his arm around my waist and wiggled closer to snuggle against me. “Stop
thinking so hard. You can’t get out of it; you already said yes,” Dylan said.
“I already told my brothers you were my mate. Why do
you want to get married?”
He opened his striking green eyes. That was the one
thing that made him look different from Kiro and Ronez.
“For you, saying that I am your mate means that we
will always be together. For me, it’s saying that we are married. I know that
Guardians have mates, too and I like that I can call you mine, but I’m human. I
grew up on Earth, on your world, and to humans, if we’re not married you’re
just my girlfriend. I want you as my wife.”
“Isn’t marriage just a religious practice?”
“And legal, yes. Where two people swear to always
love each other.” He rolled onto his back.
When he looked like that, I wondered if he even knew
why he wanted to marry me.
“Swear before god? So you want me to swear to always
love you under the eyes of… myself,” I said. “You only want to marry me because
you were conditioned that way. You were told as a child that you would grow up
and get married, now you think that is the only thing that is right.”
He looked at me and stopped me in my tracks. It was
incredibly hard to stay out of his head when he gave me that expression, but I
knew what I would see would make me sick. I was wrong. Dylan was horribly
abused as a child and every time he gave me that look, it meant I was wrong and
he didn’t want to talk about it. How my love turned out to be such a strong and
good man was a mystery to me.
He sat up and sighed, reaching back to take my hand.
“I don’t want to trap you in this,” he said, turning and giving me a small,
fake smile. “You’re right. It’s not like we live on Earth anyway. I’ll be your
mate and we don’t have to get married.” He got up and grabbed his pants off of
the foot chest before heading into the bathroom.
Every time I tried to call off the engagement or got
upset about the pregnancy, he went to take a shower. It must have been a human
thing. He built the shower after the first time I said I changed my mind about
marrying him, and he powered it with his own magic. If he couldn’t take a
shower, he cleaned something.
He loved me when I was free, so why did he want me to
become his?
His wife.
I wanted to be me, not something that belonged to
him. I was a god, but soon I would be nothing more than the mother of his
child. However, if I were his wife… at least I would be in his life. He was my
mate.
Even the Noquodi had mates. He often referred to
calling me his mate, and he was fine with calling himself my mate, but he never
actually called me his mate. Maybe he thought that if he did, he could never
leave me, even if he got tired of me. Then why was he so intent on marrying me?
I already agreed to do so in order to make him happy, but he wanted me to be
happy about it. I wasn’t. I loved him, but I didn’t want to marry anyone. It
wasn’t my tradition; it was a mortal tradition.
He was my mate and that meant we would never leave
each other. Still, it meant more for my brothers who believed in it than for
me. Maybe the problem was that he didn’t believe in mates any more than I did.
The door to the bathroom burst open and I stared in
shock. Dylan stood there, sopping wet and at attention with the shower still
running behind him. “Divina, get in here,” he demanded, his voice nearly angry.
I was out of the bed and moving to obey before I even
thought about it. He took me roughly by the arm into the shower, shoved me
against the tile (somehow still being gentle of my stomach) and then kissed me
to within an inch of my immortal life.
After making my world tremble and my voice sore, he
took me back to the bed, where we spent the rest of the day. He reminded me how
he got me pregnant in the first place; there was nothing mortal about my man.
* * *
It was night when I woke from our brief rest. I felt
oddly disappointed that Dylan was not in bed with me and even more so when I
heard voices in the kitchen. I got up and started for the door when I realized
one of them was Mordon. Dylan talked to Mordon, told him things he didn’t tell
anyone else. I used my magic to mask myself from them. It was especially
difficult to hide myself from Dylan since he learned to use his powers.
“Dragons have mates, too. I think every immortal
being does,” Mordon said. I stood against the wall outside of the kitchen,
close enough to hear them but out of sight.