Authors: Rain Oxford
“And do dragons have ceremonies for mating?”
“Of course. It’s a huge event where our families and
friends come to see our joining. Hell, I think Rojan’s mating ceremony was the
happiest time of
my
life.” He got quiet. “I have Rojan’s memories of her
and I feel his love for her. He was with her for a hundred and twenty years.
Even though the memories are not mine, I miss her, and I know he will never
regret that he was with her.”
“Divina can’t die.”
“I know. But you think she’ll leave you because she
won’t marry you. After all, why else would she refuse to commit to you? I mean,
she’s already giving you a child; what more can you ask for? You may be being
selfish. You know she doesn’t want to be a mother. How could you stop her from
leaving after the child is old enough to abandon? Everyone abandoned you as a
kid, so you know it happens. What’s to stop her from being like every person on
Earth?”
“She’s better than that.”
“Of course she is. She is a god. Gods aren’t known
for being good parents though, or spouses. Does she even understand commitment?
She is known as the child to most of her siblings, even Edward. If she goes out
on one of her adventures and finds a guy that she wants to manipulate, would
she hesitate to sleep with him? Do gods have morals about infidelity?”
“What infidelity?” Dylan asked. “She won’t even marry
me, so she can’t cheat on me. I don’t want to have you over if you keep talking
like that.”
“You will, because I’m just saying out loud what’s in
your head. Stop cleaning and sit down. You make me want to spill something
everywhere.”
“Don’t you dare.” I heard a chair scrape as Dylan
pulled it out to sit down. “I know you think it helps me to say my thoughts to
my face, but I don’t like it. You think I’m being stupid anyway.”
“No, Dylan, you’re getting your signals crossed. I
think Divina is being stupid, not you. I think you are acting out of
desperation to be as different from your mother as possible. She had you
without being married, didn’t she?”
“Ronez refused to marry her. Ronez said that she
wasn’t even sure he was the father, but he knew that he was. Thank god I look
just like him or I would doubt it myself.”
“Divina doesn’t want the child?”
“She says she does, but I know she only wants it
because I do.”
“What were you saying earlier about mating? You
talked to Regivus about it?”
“I asked him what the difference was between Noquodi
and Iadnah mating. He said he didn’t know enough about the Iadnah mating to do
it.”
“To do what?”
There was a pause, just long enough for me to wonder
as well. “Divina’s family is all that is left, but Vretial was the one to tell
them that the Iadnah found mates. He told Regivus that there was a mating
ceremony, just like the Noquodi had, and just like the dragons.”
“But Divina didn’t tell you anything about it,”
Mordon surmised.
I myself was clueless.
“I’m not sure she knows. She told the others I was
her mate and they accepted it. When I bring up marriage to Divina, she says we
are already mated. I see no hint of deceit in her. I have to assume she doesn’t
know because…”
“Because if she did know, it would break your heart.
You should tell her, but you’re afraid to, because if she knows that there’s
more to this mating thing, that she isn’t really committed to you, she could
change her mind. At the same time, you know you have no right to keep that
option from her.”
“Don’t come over here anymore; you never help me. You
just bring to light all my problems,” Dylan groused.
Mordon laughed. “I am helping you. Divina? You can
come in here now,” he called to me. I sighed and walked in. He smirked at me as
Dylan groaned and laid his head against the table. “You can hide from me and
Dylan, but not Rojan, as he is a subconscious entity. In order to hide yourself
from him, you would have to use enough magic that it would tip me and Dylan
off. I think you two have some stuff to talk about. I’ll leave you to it.”
Mordon left and silence fell. I wanted to call Mordon
back in here to help us talk.
“What do you want to address first?” I asked, taking
a seat at the table. It wasn’t helping either of us to sit in silence.
“I don’t know why I want to marry you so much. It
isn’t religious, but there are lots of methods to marry.”
“Is it because you are still afraid to lose me?
Humans walk out on their spouses all the time,” I said. “A mate is the person
you want to spend your immortal life with. Even if you die, they will always be
your mate.”
“It means something else to me. I grew up on Earth.
The British call their friends their mates. We have flatmates, roommates,
classmates… animals have mates, and it certainly doesn’t mean the same thing.”
He looked at me. “I know that you would never leave me if I begged you to stay,
but I want you to want to stay.”
He dropped his gaze again and I put my hand on his
cheek to make him look at me. “Listen to me, Dylan. I will never be able to say
this again for the rest of our lives, so listen to me now. You are
everything
to me. I would fight my brothers for you. I would find a way to bring your
father back for good even if it destroys a few worlds in the process if that
was what you wanted. I would find a way to give you a child every year for all
of eternity, and twins if I could manage it… or worse. Anything I need to do.
Anything
to make you happy.”
“You make me happy.”
“Then how could I ever leave you? All I need to be
happy is for you to be happy, and all you need to be happy is to have me.
What’s the problem here?”
“Would you ever sleep with anyone else? Or love
anyone else? I don’t know what gods feel is acceptable or wrong---”
I interrupted him by putting my hand over his mouth.
“Am I nothing more than a god to you? I have lived in this body for so long
with emotions. Sago emotions. How could I not have at least some of the
cultural morals? I get jealous when a pretty girl tries to come on to you, how
could I think it was okay for me to go to someone else? I will never cheat on
you.”
“I know,” he said, sighing. He had just needed to
hear it himself. “I know it doesn’t make sense for me to be so adamant that we
get married, but why are you so against it? It doesn’t have to be a religious
affair.”
It was my turn to sigh and look away. “For one thing,
human marriage has always been a way to chain women to men. You might as well
already own me. I think that must make you the most powerful man in the
universe.”
Like I had done, he turned my face back to him. “I
never wanted to own you. You are free to do what you want, but I want to be in
your life. What are the other reasons?”
“Vretial told us we would find someone to live out
eternity with. I never believed it. I never believed I would
want
to be
with anyone. I told him that mating was a myth or a story that he made up.
Humans had marriage, and I didn’t believe in that, either.”
“So you could give me the mate part, but not the
marriage part?”
“I couldn’t even get the mate part right. Vretial
never told me about a ritual…” I frowned, trying hard to remember everything he
said. “Well, he may have, but I wasn’t paying much attention. I can’t remember
everything he said. And if there was a ceremony, none of us would remember
anything enough to perform it. What about having a Noquodi mating ceremony?”
He shrugged. “Like I said, mating doesn’t mean
anything to me. Marriage does. My mother may have suffered horrible ones, but I
think I could do it right with you.”
“I know you can. I love you, Dylan. I want to be with
you for eternity.”
“I love you, too. I will go with whatever you want to
do.”
I realized then where I was going wrong. I could
never be happy unless I had Dylan and he was happy. Marriage would make him
happy and, at least in his mind, tie us together. I realized if I married
Dylan, it would be to make him happy. The marriage itself was for him, but I
could do it for him because I loved him. What better reason was there for
anything?
I stood up, put my hands on his shoulders, and
pressed my forehead against his. Then I took a step back as he stood. “I guess
you will have to find a wedding ceremony that isn’t religious then, because I’m
not swearing myself under myself or my brothers.”
Rain Oxford is a middle school teacher who is compelled to spend every
free moment writing. The Asian-influenced cultures she creates were inspired by
Japan, where she attended Ritsumeikan University in Kyoto on an exchange
program. She does most of her writing in a secluded cabin in the woods, with a
four-pound Maltese as a companion. When she’s not teaching or creating worlds,
she usually enjoys cooking, playing the piano, or photographing exotic
wildlife.
Guardian Series Book 1:
The Guardian’s
Grimoire
Guardian Series Book 2:
The Dragon’s Eyes
The Awakening