The Draig's Woman (9 page)

“I’m nay judging you, child. Now, I ken you have no fear of him. Why did you nay let Ian claim you?”

Resting on Neala’s shoulder, Claire answered, “I didn’t think it was the right thing to do. Ian told me about his debt and responsibility. That seems to be what matters, not . . . well, what happened between us.”

A knock at the door surprised them both. “I will see to it, child. ‘Tis most likely one of the lasses with gowns for you.” Neala went to the door, asking as a man entered, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to meet the lass. Ian made a request, and I told him I needed to speak with her before I would agree.” Hagan’s voice was firm against Neala’s request.

Answering defensively, Neala spoke, “It can wait ‘til morning. The poor child is tired.”

“Neala, I will be brief, and it can nay wait.” Hagan walked to stand before Claire. She rose while taking measure of him. He was tall, taller than Ian, yet not as wide. It was clear he was fit and toned. With reddish-blond hair and pale blue eyes, it was obvious he was sizing her up as well. Hagan’s eyes were trying to find some kind of answer on her face. He offered only, “I am Hagan, and I came to offer greetings.”

Claire took a step closer to Hagan.

It must be okay if I’m walking toward him. I really hope my radar is still working.

“I’m Claire, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you and your family.”

As soon as the smile crossed Hagan’s face, she relaxed. Claire also saw the moment it changed to something else, a face filled with worry. Hagan said, “Lass, I have the need to speak with you. ‘Tis serious business.”

“All right. I’ll try to help if I can.” Claire looked over to make sure Neala was still there.

“I am here to see if you are going to change your mind about letting Ian claim you.” Hagan winced as Claire stepped back away from him. With a softer voice, he continued, “I dinna mean to upset you or deny your rights. I am the man who arranged Ian’s marriage and the one who tries to keep the laird to his duty. If Ian’s path is to be altered, I need to be aware of it. Too much rides on these decisions. Forgive me for being so blunt. There is no insult intended.”

Claire was stunned by how straight to the point he was. Despite what Hagan said, she had always preferred a direct approach. “I thought that was already done. There is no need to keep bringing up the matter.” She didn’t want to talk about it.

It hurts, so just leave it alone
.

“I mean no harm with this. I needed to hear it from you as well as from him. Too much depends on his betrothal.” Hagan waited for a reply that never came. “It was asked of me to claim you as part of my family. My doing this will give you a place of honor here. My clan is respected, and our name carries weight with the other clans in the area. I do this to give you a history and to thank you for saving Ian’s life in battle. Will you accept what I offer, cousin?”

“You want me to pretend to be your cousin?” The night had just gotten stranger. Even through her grief and bewilderment, Claire could see Hagan was sincere.
She could also read between the lines. Hagan wanted Ian left alone, and this was the bargain. Making sure she was reading the situation correctly, she asked, “This is a trade, isn’t it? You are offering me some form of security in exchange for . . .” She stammered out the rest, “Instead of me asking Ian for what he, I mean instead of, well you know what I mean.”

“Aye, Claire, I do. I need your word on your honor that you will let his marriage continue as planned. I shall tell my wife you have come to help with the accounts and to be a companion. Aliana has said many times our wee one should ken more of my clan. That is all she will ken of you. The rest stays here between us.”

Claire studied his face with the quick realization that she liked Hagan. She was exhausted and incredibly confused, but she knew Hagan’s offer wasn’t made lightly. It was obvious in how he studied and weighed every word she uttered. Unable to think of a better option, Claire held his eyes and said, “I give you my word, cousin.”

With a heavy sigh, Hagan said, “Welcome to the Douglas clan.”

“My thanks, Hagan. I had hoped you would do this,” Ian said as he entered the chamber, his gaze immediately landing on Claire.

Blocking Ian’s path to her, Hagan stated, “The lass and I have an understanding. Claire will be cared for. Now ’tis late and your journey long, mayhap you should seek your bed, Ian.”

“I will shortly, I promise you. I need to make certain Claire has all she needs. Go back to your bed, brother.” Ian dismissed him. The tone of voice left her with the impression that Ian was used to his commands being met.

“Aye, that is a fine thought. I left a bonnie warm wife awaiting my return,” Hagan said with a wink to Claire as he left the chamber.

Ian laughed as he called out the door, “Watch your words. ‘Tis my sister you speak of.”

Hagan’s laughter echoed as his footsteps faded down the stone corridor.

She was fascinated by the interaction of the two men. One could see how close they were. It was in every look and gesture between the pair.

From the corner of the chamber, Neala spoke, “I will let the two of you speak alone. When you are finished, I will return to see you to bed, child.” Neala left quietly.

Claire forgot the housekeeper when Ian entered. The room suddenly seemed smaller; his very presence filled the space. His hair was damp from washing. He wore only a robe, and the beard was gone. She could now see his face, all of it, the square jaw and full lips. Bright green eyes and dark lashes still dominated his features.
The air was filled with the scent of soap and his own unique aroma. Her hand almost reached his cheek before she caught herself and pulled it back down. “You shaved.” It was the only thought safe to vocalize.

“Aye.” Ian stood directly in front of her, merely a breath apart. She pulled her hand away, but his did not have the same discipline. With a touch to her face, he gently brought her gaze to his.

She could see a shadow of pain on his features. But, thankfully, Ian said nothing as his fingers touched the area swollen around her eyes. Claire knew she was a disaster; there was no way to hide the fact that she had been crying. Without a word, Ian pulled her to him and held her close.

Inhaling deeply as Ian wrapped her into his body, Claire could not remember anyone ever smelling so good. No hug had ever been so sweet. One hand rested gently on her back while the other caressed her hair. Her head rested on his broad chest, and she listened to the sound of his heartbeat. Contentment filled her at the simple pleasure of being held by Ian. Wrapped in his strong arms, she felt safe and cherished.

But she knew it was wrong. Ian couldn’t make any of it better because he wasn’t meant for her. He belonged—or would belong—to another woman.

“Forgive me, Claire,” Ian whispered against her hair.

She moved, as the moment needed to be broken. She looked up into his emerald eyes and felt the tears threaten to fall. This time her hand did as it wanted and touched the flawless skin on his face. She whispered, “There is nothing to forgive.” There was more, but she didn’t have the strength to go there again. Letting go once was enough. Doing the right thing had never caused so much hurt. “You should go, I . . . I’m tired. You must be too.”

Please go. I can’t do this. If you stay, I will beg you to take me with you. Why now? Why you? After waiting all this time for someone, why now? The one man I want is the one I can’t have.

Ian released her. “Is there aught that you need? I would have you comfortable and provided for, Claire.” But his eyes said something different. She could see what he did not vocalize. His face and body language asked her to change her mind and to take what he offered.

Ignoring the overwhelming want in her heart and the arms held open for her, Claire answered with a small smile. “Neala has been wonderful. I think I am set for the night.”

They stood in silence for too long. Each waited for the other to end it and find a way to walk away. Ian finally broke the stalemate, once again closing the space between them. With both hands, he held her face and placed a kiss on her forehead then turned to leave.

Claire let him go. The tears were hot and silent on her cheeks. There was no resistance when Neala came to her side and helped her into bed. Snuggled under warm blankets and wrapped in soft sheets, Claire fell asleep to the sound of her own sobs and Neala’s comforting words.

Chapter 7

Claire looked at the table before her, filled with all of her favorites: guacamole, big burritos, and a large pitcher of margaritas. Sunday dinner with Brooke, and life was just good.

“Girl, what is wrong with you? You finally find the guy who turns your legs to jelly and you let him walk away? Seriously, first no one is just right, and then one is. Let’s just say you are driving me crazy!” Brooke’s face and tone let out the exasperation she felt.

“You don’t understand, Brooke, it’s not that simple here. I really believe Ian needs to marry her, whoever she is. Hagan made a huge deal out of it, and I don’t think he’s the type to exaggerate. It’s not like I can pay his bills or feed his people. Whatever there was between us, it’s done. Leave it alone.”

“Hell no, I won’t leave it alone. I know you better than anyone. Don’t even try to tell me it’s done. If it were me, then it would be done. You don’t live that way, and you never will. I know, Claire.” Brooke’s reply was smug.

Claire looked at her friend and, not pleased with her arrogant expression, asked, “What do you think you know?”

“You care about him. You want him to want you. He’s the one, isn’t he? The one from your dreams. Ian’s the one you waited for and the reason no one else was ever good enough.”

“Stop now. Who do you think you are? I know what to do. I know what’s right.” Claire’s voice carried only anger.

“You’ve spent too much time with Michael. All his preaching about honor, respect, and integrity.” Brooke laughed as she spoke. ”In a way, it has ruined you. You’re so blinded by what’s right that you can’t see the forest for the trees, can you? It will not just go away. For heaven’s sake, you will see him every day of your life. For your sanity, I hope you find your way back to me.”

“They told me that I couldn’t come back. I’ll find a way to deal.” Claire looked down at her plate; the thought of not going home was just too painful.

“Really? Good luck with that. I know I could never deal with looking at that hottie all day.” Brooke pointed behind her and then called out, “You forgot, Claire.”

She ignored her friend’s parting comment; after all, there was nothing to forget. Her head turned as she felt his gaze on her back. There was Ian in all his glory, standing in a clearing in the woods. He waited for her with a smile so warm and inviting.

Claire rose to join him. Her feet touched the soft earth, and twigs snapped underfoot. Brooke’s voice called from the distance, “Just remember, sometimes you have to take care of you. If he’s what you want, what you need . . .”

Ian met her halfway; his hands immediately brought her in close. “Sweet Claire, I’ve been searching for you.” Before any reply could be made, he kissed her, his mouth moving on hers while his hands caught in her hair and roamed her back, pulling her yielding body into his.

Claire couldn’t bring him close enough. Her hands pulled at his back. She needed him closer. The gentle kisses grew to something wild and untamed. Each sought to claim more of the other, tongues dancing, tasting, devouring, and still it was not enough. Claire whimpered as Ian broke the kiss, his hungry mouth moved along the curve of her face and settled just below her ear. “You smell of sweet summer berries, lass.”

Claire sat up in bed with her heart racing, and for a moment, confusion ruled. She looked around her stone chamber while memories of the previous day took hold. The first light of the new day was visible through the window. Claire shook her head to clear the pain of the dream. Rising from the bed, she put on the robe and hoped she remembered the way to the garderobe. The only thing close to a happy thought she could find was that it was slightly better than peeing in the woods.

“There you are, child. I was a wee bit concerned when I noticed your door was open and you were gone,” Neala said as she waited in the corridor. “Come with me back to your chamber. ‘Tis early, you can go back to sleep.”

“I’m awake. I always get up this early,” Claire replied.

“As do I, and ‘tis a fine thing I will have some company in the quiet early hours.” Neala smiled as she led Claire back to the chamber. “There is a pitcher of water for you to refresh yourself, along with a clean cloth. Take care of your needs while I sort through these. Let’s see if we can’t find you something to wear.” The chair before the fire was covered in dresses.

After what seemed like hours, she was finally dressed. The long dress felt strange, but the fabric was soft, and the gown fit well. The laces up the front made it somewhat easy to get dressed. “Where did you get the dresses?” Claire asked. Most fit, and there were only few alterations needed. One was done for today. The rest would keep her occupied later in the day. Apparently sitting around and doing some sewing was a big afternoon activity.

“They belong to Ian’s sister, Aliana. Dinna fret, they are a wee bit too small since she had the bairn. I believe it may be some time before there is a need for them. ‘Tis a fine thing that they will see some use.” Neala took a moment to admire her work. The blue had been a good choice; it brought out the reddish tones in Claire’s hair, or so Neala said. Taking Claire by the hand, she said, “Come now, child. Let us go down to the hall and break our fast.”

The staircase they descended opened into the great hall. A massive room filled with rows of tables and bench seats greeted them. It had a huge fireplace along the back wall and several corridors leading to other places in the keep. There were roughly twenty men seated in small groups eating while women came with trays of food and left with the dirty remains. The sounds of conversation and laughter filled the air.

A loud woman came through the corridor that Claire assumed was the way to the kitchen, breaking the peace. She shouted, “Hagan, where are you? You can nay avoid me all day. I will find you!” The woman stormed into the hall and stalked toward them with a small child in her arms. The woman’s dark hair and green eyes clearly resembled Ian’s looks.
This must be his sister.

“Neala, have you seen him? You must be Claire.” Without waiting for an answer from either, the woman turned and resumed her shouting. “Hagan, where are you?”

“I am all but next to you, wife.” The loud woman turned to see Hagan enter from another corridor. “Why are you screaming to wake the dead?”

“Why am I screaming? I will tell you why.” Turning away from Hagan, she thrust the child into Claire’s arms. “Here, hold him.” She faced her husband and reached up to push his chest as she spoke. “I am screaming to find you. You can nay think to avoid me after what you have done. Once again you were gone this morning as it came upon me. ‘Tis the third day in a row. Do you ken what that means? Do you!”

The smile that lit Hagan’s face was the last thing Claire anticipated. He answered, “Aye, wife, I ken what that means.” With a grab at the hands that pushed at him, Hagan pulled Aliana into his arms.

“I told you she would not miss the gowns, Claire. Aliana is with child,” Neala whispered.

The angry woman turned into a sobbing one, as she listened to Hagan comforting his wife and speaking of his joy and want for the child to be. This man who had been so serious the night before was working magic. Before long they were both smiling. Those were the faces that now turned to Claire.

“Forgive me for my introduction, cousin. I am pleased you are here and welcome you. I am Aliana, and you have met young Cerwyn.” She moved to kiss Claire on the cheek and take back the child. “I should have come to greet you upon your arrival, but my arse of a husband did not speak of you until after you had gone to your rest.”

Claire could not help grinning as she answered, “I think it was late, and you weren’t exactly expecting me. Oh, and congratulations.”

Aliana replied, “That is another reason Hagan is an arse, for not telling me you were expected. A chamber should have been waiting for you. As for that, you can congratulate me after the sickness has passed several moons from now.”

“Who has sickness?” Ian’s voice carried through the hall as he entered, his gaze landing immediately on Claire.

She held her breath as Ian’s gaze wandered from her booted feet to the curve of her hip. She felt heat spread on her cheeks as his eyes stopped on the slight cleavage the dress revealed before reaching her face. The hunger was clear in his stare, the same as it had been at the inn. For just a second, she saw Ian poised above her as he had been two nights ago. A small shudder racked her body as the memory crept in unbidden.

Hagan diverted Ian’s path to Claire. “My wife is with child. You are to be an uncle again. With your soon-to-be-marriage, we will fill this keep with bairns.” Ian stiffened briefly before the embrace was returned.

“‘Tis fine news to begin the day with. Are you unwell already, Aliana?” Ian turned to ask his sister as he pulled her in for a hug.

“Am I unwell? Did you hear the part where I am with child? I will nay be fine again for some time. Thank the heavens you have brought Claire with you. I will need her help with Cerwyn. The child is only two years old and requires constant attention. Plus, there is much to do to prepare for your bride.” Aliana paused long enough to glare at her brother. “Do you still plan to go through with this nonsense?”

Ian returned her glare and took hold of the child. “Dinna start this again. The matter is settled. Dinna question me in my hall.”

“‘Tis my hall, too, and I will question you when you are being absurd.” Turning to Claire, Aliana asked, “Have you heard of this marriage? Such nonsense. These arrangements are not for our clan. They never have been.” Not waiting for a reply, Aliana continued, “But where are my manners? Come and sit. We will get to know one another while we break our fast.” Aliana sat by Claire’s side, “Well, you break your fast. I am not quite ready to eat yet.”

Neala’s voice sounded from behind them, “Here, sweeting, drink this, you ken that it helps. You should have told me straight away. There was no need for you to suffer.” Looking at Claire, Neala explained, “‘Tis an herbal that should soothe and keep the sickness from becoming too severe. Now, Aliana, when do we look for the child?”

“The drink does help, I had forgotten. Thank you, Neala. I believe mid-winter. If nay for the sickness, I doubt I would ken about the bairn.” Aliana answered after draining the cup.

Claire had been so caught up in the conversation the two women were having that she was a bit surprised to feel Ian sit beside her. Her heart skipped several beats as she looked at him dressed in a plaid and a clean shirt and had his hair pulled back. Since meeting Ian, she had not seen him like this.
He was handsome while soaking wet and a bit dirty. Now he is amazing.

“This morn I can provide you with a fine meal, Claire.” Ian moved to fill a bowl with what looked like oatmeal, dried fruit, and cream and placed it in front of her.

Before she could voice her thanks, the toddler sitting in Aliana’s lap jumped to hers. “Eat. Eat. Eat.” Cerwyn placed the wooden spoon in Claire’s hand and opened his mouth. Laughing at the child’s enthusiasm, she started feeding him.

“Nay, Cerwyn, ‘tis a meal for Claire. Come to Mama, and I will get you your own dish.” Aliana’s attempt to take the child failed. He simply snuggled into Claire and answered, “Nay, nay, nay! Want Air, want Airey, want Laire.” Her name changed several more times with none of them being close to the real thing. She cringed as the child screamed “Larry,” and he laughed until his body shook. Somehow she was certain a horrible nickname had just been bestowed.

“He is no trouble, really.” Looking at the green-eyed child in her lap, she said, “You can stay, but you have to share. And please say Claire, not Larry.”

Laughter from the little one answered her, “Larry.” Ian’s laughter caught her attention.

“The child is greedy with his food and has yet to make all of his sounds correctly. Are you certain you wish him with you? He could be moved verra easily.” As he spoke, Ian filled another bowl and placed it in front of her.

A serious Hagan interrupted them. “Ian, there is no need for you to see to feeding Claire. She is my cousin, and I will tend to her.”

“‘Tis no trouble. The lass was poorly fed while we traveled, and I simply wish to make amends.” While playfully spoken, she felt his body tense at Hagan’s attempt to take over.

“‘Tis nay the first one you have fed is it, cousin?” Aliana asked.

Grateful for the tension breaker, Claire answered, “No, he isn’t. I’ve always enjoyed being with children.” She spoke as she fed the child in her arms. The simple talk of children gradually became a quiet conversation between the women.

Taking a now restless Cerwyn from Claire’s lap, Aliana asked, “Why have you nay married and had bairns of your own? It seems to be something you are well suited for.” Turning to her husband, Aliana asked, “What is wrong with your clan, leaving this one unspoken for? Surely there have been offers.”

Hagan stumbled for words, and she heard Ian’s cup hit the table a bit too hard. Speaking quickly, she said, “It was my own doing. I have spent most of my time working with accounts and little else.” There was no time for more of an explanation as Aliana interrupted.

“That is something we must change. ‘Tis a fine thing you are here. The accounts certainly need attention, and if the men of your clan are blind, we will have some here who are nay so stupid. I will see to it that you are introduced properly.”

Almost choking on her food, she replied, “There is no need for that, I mean, the accounts need to be seen to, and I still need to learn my way around here.”

“Of course. I forgot that this place is new to you. Come, I will show you around and introduce you to our clan. We can take the wee one to run outside as we look around.”

That was too easy.
Seeing the look on Aliana’s face, mock innocence mixed with delight, Claire knew she was in trouble. A matchmaker was the last thing she needed or wanted now.