The Duke's Marriage Mission (20 page)

Carefully she pushed Kit’s chair out of the nursery and down the long gallery. The way the boy reacted to such a small taste of freedom gladdened Leah’s heart. It made her more determined than ever to secure as much liberty for him as she possibly could in her remaining months as his governess.

When she wheeled him past the staircase, Kit craned his neck and leaned over as far as his chair would permit. If it had not been equipped with arms, he might have fallen off, but that possibility did not seem to bother him. “The room where you sometimes eat dinner with Papa is down there isn’t it, Miss Leah? And the place he brought all the flowers for you? Will you take me there someday?”

The notion of Kit exploring the wealth of varied rooms on the ground floor appealed to her greatly. But it was blighted by disturbing visions of the duke losing his footing as he carried his son down that long flight of stairs. “I have spoken to your father about it and I will keep on until I persuade him.”

The way he meant to keep courting her until she agreed to marry him? Was it possible their efforts to persuade one another could end up benefiting them both—
and
the child they cared for?

Leah had fallen so deep in thought, and Kit was so attracted by all the new sights, neither of them heard quiet footsteps approaching until it was too late.

“What have we here?” The duke’s voice made both Leah and her pupil start. “I do not recall giving permission for my son to make excursions outside the nursery.”

He did not raise his voice but there could be no mistaking his tone of disapproval. It roused Leah’s spirit of rebellion.

“I do not recall you
forbidding
me to take Kit out of the nursery, either.” Would her impudent quip play upon his feelings for her to lessen his opposition? Or would it rouse his old antagonism and make him reconsider his desire to wed her? Leah was not certain, though either one might have its benefits.

But which of the two did she hope for?

Leah was not certain until Lord Northam gave a wry chuckle. “You have me there, my dear. After this, I must make sure to be quite specific about the limits I place on my son for his protection. At least you took the trouble to wrap him up well against the cold.”

“It isn’t very cold, Papa,” Kit protested. “I’m glad you aren’t cross with Miss Leah for bringing me out.”

The duke dropped to crouch before his son. “I cannot understand why you want to be out here when your nursery is so comfortable and stocked with all your books and playthings.”

“Because...” Kit gestured around the wide, plain hallway “...it’s new.”

His son’s simple explanation made the duke rock back on his heels.

“Very well, then.” He rose slowly. “You may continue with your...explorations for a little longer, on the condition that I am allowed to accompany you.”

“Of course you can, Papa.” Kit held out his hand to his father, who enveloped it in his and gave it a squeeze.

They passed a further half-hour poking about the upper floor of the new range. Kit greeted everything he saw as if it were an amazing discovery.

The child’s enthusiasm soon began to rub off on Leah, who found herself looking closer at paintings and items of furniture she had scarcely spared a second glance, seeing things she might otherwise have missed. Would the sights of the Continent truly be more remarkable than ordinary places seen with fresh eyes in the company of those she cared for?

She sensed that similar thoughts might be going through Lord Northam’s mind. As he answered Kit’s eager questions, the duke sometimes cast a glance over his son’s head to catch her eye. Often he smiled and she could not help smiling back. Other times his handsome features remained solemn but his eyes shone with affection for his son that seemed to extend to her, as well.

Every time it happened, her heart seemed to perform a cartwheel in her chest.

Was she falling in love with Hayden Latimer? That question and others that followed brought her a quiver of wonder and a qualm of unease. Had she been gradually falling in love with him from the moment they’d met? And was it too late to stop?

* * *

Halfway through dinner that evening, Leah put down her fork and gazed across the table at Hayden. “If you mean to scold me for taking Kit out of his nursery without your permission, do get it over with, please.”

Her tone was defensive and a trifle impatient, as if she suspected him of deliberately withholding his censure to spring on her when she let her guard down. Those feelings mirrored his so closely that Hayden could not help sputtering with laughter, much to Leah’s annoyance.

“What is so amusing, may I ask?”

With difficulty Hayden mastered his mirth. It felt good to laugh as often as he had in recent months. That simple release had been missing from his life for far too long. He now appreciated what a treasured blessing it was. A surge of gratitude toward Leah swelled within him, for it was she who had brought laughter back to Renforth Abbey.

“Forgive me.” He suppressed a final chuckle. “But I was about to ask you to say you told me so, and get it over with.”

“Told you
what
?” Relieved from the prospect of his anger descending upon her at any moment, Leah gave an answering chuckle.

“The same thing you have been telling me since the day you arrived here.” Hayden prepared to follow a course of turbot in white sauce with a generous slice of
humble pie
. “That the benefits of allowing my son more freedom outweigh the risks.”

“Oh, that.” Leah cast him a teasing grin sweetened with unmistakable affection. “Why should I continue to wheeze that old tune when you seem to be learning it very well on your own?”

They both chuckled over that, the pitch of her laughter and his creating a harmony as agreeable as any duet performed in an opera house.

“All the same, I doubt Kit will be satisfied for long investigating the upper floor.” Hayden grew serious. “Have you come up with any clever ideas about how we can get him safely up and down the stairs? His rolling chair will be no help making that trip and I do not trust anyone, myself included, to carry him without risking a fall.”

“One possibility does occur to me.” Leah did not sound confident that her idea would find favor with him.

“Go ahead,” Hayden prompted. “What is it?”

“I agree it would be hazardous to carry Kit up and down the stairs frequently. And the difficulty will only increase as he grows bigger.”

Hayden nodded as she spoke. It was clear Leah understood the perils involved and was no more willing to risk harm coming to Kit than he. More than ever, he knew he must persuade her to become his son’s new mother.

“I suggest removing the obstacle,” Leah continued. “Move Kit’s bedchamber down to
this
floor so he will be able to take part in everything that goes on down here. That way he would only need to be carried down the stairs once, very carefully.”

“Put Kit’s nursery on the ground floor?” Immediately Hayden could foresee all manner of difficulties. “But I could not have him sleep so far from me. What if he needed me in the night?”

“Install a bell between his room and yours, like the ones to summon servants,” Leah suggested.

When she saw he was about to object she forestalled him. “Or move
your
bedchamber to the ground floor, as well. Goodness knows, there are enough unused rooms that could be converted to that purpose with a little effort.”

“With rather a
lot
of effort I believe you will discover,” Hayden corrected her.

As usual Leah refused to be daunted. “All Kit’s life you have spared no effort to do what you felt would benefit him. Is that truly what would prevent you from trying my idea or are you still afraid to give your son more freedom?”

Hayden knew he owed it to her and Kit to examine his heart and give a sincere answer. After a long thoughtful pause he replied, “A little of both I suppose.”

Leah nodded as if his answer tallied with what she had expected. “You do not need to decide right away. But for all our sakes I hope you will consider my suggestion carefully and not dismiss it out of hand.”

That was only reasonable, Hayden had to admit. Leah had moderated her efforts since her first stormy days at Renfoth Abbey. She had cultivated patience with his slow pace of change. She had demonstrated her concern for his son. The least he could do was try to meet her halfway.

The lady seemed to feel he needed more encouragement. “You know, if you show me you are willing to grant your son more freedom, it might help to alter my opinion about...that other matter.”

She glanced toward the butler and footman who hovered silently near the sideboard, awaiting Hayden’s signal to serve the next course.

Leah was referring to the subject of marriage, he realized. If he allowed Kit more freedom, it would show her that marriage to him might not be the prison sentence she feared.

If she did agree to marry him, Hayden suspected she would be motivated as much by tender feelings for the child as for him...perhaps more. Though he told himself it would be for the best if Leah’s reasons for marrying were the same as his, somehow the thought still troubled him.

Chapter Thirteen

“I
t sounds quiet downstairs today,” said Kit as Leah pushed his chair through the upper gallery, an outing that had become a highly anticipated part of his daily routine. “Are the workmen all finished what they’ve been doing?”

“I believe they might be.” Leah tried to think of a subject to divert her young pupil’s curiosity.

For three weeks now, the mysterious sounds of footsteps, hammering and distant voices from the ground floor had intrigued Kit no end. When he questioned them, Leah and his father put him off with vague references to renovations. Hayden feared his son would grow impatient with the pace of the work if he knew what it would mean for him. Leah did not want to let the truth slip out in case Hayden changed his mind at the last minute, which she worried he might.

She approved the effort he was making to master his fears and take this daunting step toward greater freedom for his son. She took it as a touching indication of his feelings for her that he had decided to act upon her suggestion.

“Shall we play skittles?” she asked Kit, certain the activity would take his attention off what was going on downstairs.

It was Hayden who had first mentioned the game, remembering how he and his sister had played it in the upper gallery when they were children. Kit enjoyed the opportunity to be active and make some noise by knocking down the pins. At first his arms had been too weak for him to roll the ball far, let alone hit any pins, but with practice he had improved a great deal.

“Yes, please!” Kit sat up taller in his chair. “I hope I can knock down six pins with one roll today. I want to be able to play skittles with Sophie when she comes to visit. Do you suppose Papa could teach me some more games?”

“He might,” said Leah as she set up the wooden pins. “You will have to ask him when he comes.”

Hayden still spent far more time with his son than any father Leah had ever known. But with the approach of spring, he had become more involved in running the estate, not to mention supervising the construction downstairs. In spite of being so busy, he appeared better rested, more relaxed and happier. He and Kit seemed to enjoy their time together more.

Leah handed Kit the ball and watched with satisfaction as he knocked down several pins.

“Only four.” He sounded disappointed, clearly forgetting it had not been long since he’d been happy to hit even one. “But I will do better with the next roll.”

“I am certain you will continue to improve if you keep that attitude.” Leah encouraged him as she reset the pins for his next try.

She pictured Hayden and his sister playing the game when they were children. No doubt he had been careful to observe the rules and not disturb their grandmother by making too much noise. Althea would have jumped and shouted when she made a good score and perhaps not been above the occasional bit of cheating.

In recent weeks, Leah and Hayden had often talked of their childhoods, which made her feel closer to him than ever. Unlike her, he had been old enough to recall the fever epidemic that carried off his beloved parents, grandfather and younger brother. Was that devastating loss part of the reason he clung so tightly to those he loved? While she could sympathize with such feelings, Leah was not certain she dared wed a man who would always want to hold her too tight.

“There now,” she returned the ball to Kit. “Take your time, aim carefully and put all your strength into your roll.”

The child’s features settled into a determined expression so like his father’s that Leah could not help but smile. Hard as she tried to keep her feelings for Hayden Latimer from running away with her, she sensed her resolve slowly crumbling. If he had continued to argue against her views about marriage, it would have aroused her antagonism, like the traveler in Aesop’s fable who pulled his cloak tight against the raging wind. Instead, the duke’s attentiveness and sincere efforts to change had worked on her like the sun’s beaming rays, loosening her grip.

Kit did as Leah had suggested, his eyes narrowed and the tip of his tongue stuck out in a look of intense concentration. The ball flew from his hand and barreled into the pins.

“Seven!” Kit bounced up and down in his chair in the throes of excitement that would have alarmed his former doctor. “I never thought I could knock down that many with one roll.”

“Well done!” Hayden’s voice startled both Leah and the child as he strode into view. “Keep at it and you will soon be better than I ever was.”

“Papa!” Kit held up his arms for an embrace.

Leah wished she could do the same.

All she had to say was one little word, the voice of temptation whispered, and she would be free to give and receive such gestures of affection from the duke.

Free
? A more familiar voice countered.
With such a fiercely protective man and a child who required so much special care?
There were sure to be far more things she would
not
be permitted to do.

Unaware of Leah’s troubled thoughts, Hayden stooped to hug his son.

“Playing skittles is making me stronger.” Kit flexed his arm to show how it had put on flesh. “Miss Leah says so. And it is great fun. Would you like to play against me, Papa?”

Hayden nodded toward the scattered pins. “A few hits like that and you would humiliate your old father. Give me a chance to practice first so I can offer you a little competition.”

“Besides,” he continued, casting a significant glance toward Leah, “if you can take a recess from your game, there is something I would like to show you.”

Kit gave a vigorous nod. “What is it, Papa?”

Hayden bent over the child and hoisted him into his arms. “You will see soon enough.”

As he headed toward the stairway with careful steps, a footman appeared and rolled Kit’s chair away toward the servant’s stairs.

“Whatever it is, can Miss Leah see it, too?” Kit asked his father.

“Of course,” Hayden replied. “In fact I want her to see, since it was her idea.”

“Come on, Miss Leah!” the child called. “You don’t want to miss it.”

“I certainly do not.” She scrambled after them, her heart galloping with anticipation of Kit’s reaction.

Or was it pounding with dread of her frail young pupil being carried down that tall flight of stairs? Images of Hayden falling with Kit in his arms flashed through her mind in a disturbing sequence. She could only imagine how he must feel after years spent zealously guarding his son from the slightest bump or sniffle.

“Let me walk ahead of you,” she offered as Hayden hesitated at the top of the stairs.

She would hold tight to the banister and if any mishap did occur, hopefully she would break their fall.

“Are we going downstairs?” Kit sounded as amazed and delighted as if he had been informed of a voyage to the Orient.

“We are.” Hayden’s features creased with anxiety. “Now keep still like a good boy and hold tight to my neck.”

Leah cast him a smile that she hoped communicated encouragement and confidence. Then she turned and proceeded down the stairs with care almost as great as if
she
were carrying the child.

Behind her, she heard Hayden’s firm but cautious tread. When they rounded the landing, she looked down to see Kit’s chair waiting for him, along with a welcoming committee comprised of Mr. Gibson, Tilly and several more housemaids and footmen.

By the time she reached the lower floor, Leah’s breath was coming so fast and shallow, she felt a trifle faint. She joined the others to watch Hayden descend the last few steps. Did anyone else notice the faint sheen of sweat on Lord Northam’s distinguished brow?

The servants burst into applause when the duke lowered Kit into his chair. The child grinned and bowed from the waist, clearly delighted with the whole proceedings. “Is this what you wanted to show me, Papa?”

“Part of it.” Hayden sounded winded as if he had just climbed a mountain rather than walked down a flight of stairs. “Now let us see the rest.”

It was a kind of mountain he had scaled, Leah reflected as she followed the parade toward Kit’s new quarters. This obstacle to his son’s freedom had long seemed overwhelming, but Hayden had battled his paralyzing caution to conquer it at last. This one step would open up whole new vistas for the child—the library, the music room, the cloisters and chapel, even the grounds outside.

When she had first come to Renforth Abbey, Leah would have considered this a simple task that should have been accomplished right away. Now she knew better. It had been anything but easy for Hayden. Yet he had done it, because he loved his son and because he wanted to prove something to her.

He was capable of change and willing to undertake it for the sake of those he cared for. If Hayden could change, perhaps she could, too. Perhaps she could conquer her fear of confinement, learn to be content in one place and allow herself to form lasting attachments...even if they threatened to tie her down.

* * *

Walking down that long staircase with his precious son in his arms was one of the most terrifying ordeals Hayden had ever attempted. Afterward when he thought back on it, his innards twisted into tight knots and his palms grew damp. A single misstep and he could not bear to imagine what might have happened. All his worst nightmares would have come true.

Yet, as the dismal days of winter warmed to spring, and he watched his son blossom, he could not deny the reward had been worth the risk. Four wheels attached to the legs of a chair and Kit’s bedchamber moved to the ground floor—who would think two such simple changes could have such a profound effect on the boy’s life? But they had opened up a new world to Kit that he had embraced eagerly. Every day he seemed to grow stronger, happier and more independent.

One evening in early April, as Hayden and Leah emerged from the nursery after hearing his son’s prayers and saying good-night, he shook his head and gave a wry chuckle. “Did you hear Kit at dinner, informing me he is too old for a nursemaid and asking for a valet of his own? What will be next?”

“It is a rather precocious request,” Leah agreed. “But perhaps worth considering. He is growing so fast. He will soon need someone with good strong arms to help him get about. Besides, Kit might feel less coddled if he is attended by a man. I would suggest someone fairly young who could also be a companion for him—take part in his games and so on.”

“I should have known you would have an opinion on the subject.” Hayden offered Leah his arm, which she took with only the slightest hesitation.

In the weeks since Kit had taken up residence on the ground floor, Hayden sensed a growing change in Leah, too. She seemed more content at Renforth Abbey, less restless. They had not discussed the subject of marriage for some time, but he suspected it was as much on her mind as his. Unless he was mistaken, she seemed to be warming to the idea, or at least getting used to it.

“Does that mean you will think about Kit’s request?” She cast him a sidelong glance, her lips arched in the beginnings of an impudent grin that had become so familiar to him. “Surely you cannot still be afraid that every bump or chill will cause him terrible harm?”

Hayden shook his head ruefully. “It is not easy to abandon the habit of worrying about him. No matter how big and strong and capable he becomes, part of me will always think of him as that frail little mite I first held in my arms and swore to protect.”

He could tell by the dewy, brooding look in her eyes that Leah did not think less of him for voicing such feelings—quite the contrary. Yet he must give the lady her due, as well. “On the other hand, when I think of the restricted life Kit had before you came to be his governess I pity the poor child with all my heart and blame myself for my blindness.”

“Do not be too severe upon yourself.” Leah gave his arm a heartening squeeze. “You deserved every bit as much pity as your son. Pleased as I am to see him enjoying his newfound freedom, I am equally happy to see you reclaim a life of your own. You will be a better father to Kit because of it, I am certain.”

Without paying much attention to where they were going, they had arrived at a side door that opened onto the gardens.

Hayden nodded toward it. “The evening is mild and there is still some light. Shall we walk out before dinner?”

“I would like that,” Leah responded readily. “In fact, there is something I would like to show you and a question I want to ask.”

A question?
He
was the one with a question always on his mind. More than once it had risen to his lips only to be suppressed by fear that her answer might not be to his liking. The longer he was able to wait, the more optimistic he would feel about his chances. Yet his sense of caution urged him to be certain of Leah.

“Lead on.” Hayden opened the door and ushered her out.

The sun had already sunk down below the horizon, illuminating the western sky in vivid bands of red, orange and purple. Hayden could not recall the sunsets being so intense and beautiful in the past. Was it Leah’s company that made them appear that way? He suspected so, just as food had more flavor when she dined with him. Every experience, however commonplace, seemed heightened somehow when he shared it with her.