The F-Word (63 page)

Read The F-Word Online

Authors: Jesse Sheidlower

U

unfuck
verb

1
. (used as an imprecation or oath); God damn; to hell with; curse. [Used as a substitution for
FUCK
verb
definition 4.a., on the grounds that
fuck
denotes a pleasurable act that one would not want to wish on the person being cursed.]

1963
A. Ellis
If This be Sexual Heresy
95: By the same token you should say “I had an
un
fucking
bad
time.” Q. I can see this, you know?—In the subways, two or three centuries from now: “Unfuck you!”
a
1966
L. Bruce in S. Pinker
Stuff of Thought
(2007) 346: If I really wanted to hurt you I should say “Unfuck you, Mister.” Because “Fuck you” is really
nice
!
1966
B. Deming
Prison Notes
: A former prisoner has scratched in wide letters: FUCK THE COPS! It should really be UNFUCK THE COPS, one peacewalker has suggested; unlove them is what is meant.

2
. to correct (a fault); fix (a problem); etc. Sometimes used with
up
.

1971
S. Stevens
Way Uptown in Another World
148: She was just a nice little fox who was all fucked up and didn’t know how to unfuck herself.
1973
Psychiatry
XXXVI. 145/2: These residents don’t know nothing. These poor patients. The staff has to unfuck what the doctors fuck up.
1975
O. Hall
Adelita
164: “I’ll keep them plenty busy if I can just get this fucker unfucked,” Birdwell said. Nicanor sat slumped with the sack on his shoulder until this was accomplished.
1976
B. A. Floyd
Lance Corporal Purdue Grace, USMC
in
Long War Dead
21: Know this about this fucked-up war/that will never unfuck itself—/Life in Vietnam is a sea
of shit.
1978
W. B. McCloskey Jr.
Highliners
xix. 242: Go on, now, unfuck those room assignments before something else happens.
1988
W. Gibson
Mona Lisa Overdrive
11: Little Bird fumbled the Mech-5 microsoft from the socket behind his ear—instantly forgetting the eight-point servo-calibration procedure needed to unfuck the Judge’s buzzsaw.
1995
S. Rushdie
Moor’s Last Sigh
49: If you fuck up what I unfucked for you once, you better hope on I’m around to unfuck it for you twice.
1997
2nd Lieutenant, USMC: “Unfuck it, Corporal!”…That means “fix it,” “make it not fucked up.” Almost any kind of screw-up.
2003
K. Friedman
Kill Two Birds & Get Stoned
43: It’s a fucked-up world…and sometimes you gotta just try to unfuck it.
2004
in M. Eversmann & D. Schilling
Battle of Mogadishu
161: I did some last-minute coordination with the commo guys trying to unfuck the confusion surrounding communication.

unfuckable
adjective

sexually unavailable; (
also
) sexually undesirable. Hence
unfuckably
adverb
.

a
1968
P. Levine
By Animals, By Men, and By Machines
in
Not This Pig
(1968) 73: The doctor, he tells me, is a “nice nigger,”/the nurses are all unfuckable,/even the tight-assed one who calls him Sugar.
1970
L. Gould
Such Good Friends
8: I was the failure. Hopelessly unfuckable.
1981
T. McGuane
Nobody’s Angel
85: In the Castilian walk-up an unfuckable crone has the say of things and brings vegetables.
1984
B. Woodward
Wired
293: She was sophisticated, sensual and hard, but they wanted even more of the stonelike, unreachable side: she was the elusive, truly unfuckable woman.
1991
Z. Z. Gabor
One Lifetime is not Enough
262: If a woman wants to be attractive to a man, she should have a little flesh on her body and not just be skin and bones. All the men I ever met in my life, when they look at these models’ pictures exclaimed, “My God, how could I ever make love to that?” Rubi used to describe them as “unfuckable.”
2001
A. Dangor
Bitter Fruit
xxiii. 247: Dull afternoon shadows on her face. Prissy Priscilla, unshockable, and unfuckable.
2003
R. Liddle
Too Beautiful for You
168: Duvalier is thin and sharp with a
recherché
quiff and keeps trying to paw Sophie who is acting all cool and above it all and unfuckable.
2006
Esquire
(Jan.) 65: When you are a male entering the 10th grade, there are only four kinds of people on the entire planet: girls you
want to fuck, girls who are unfuckable, guys you want to kill, and guys who generally seem OK.
2006
Time Out N.Y.
(Mar. 30)147/2: She is fat. Unfuckably fat.

unfucked
adjective

1
. not having engaged in sexual intercourse.

ca
1890
My Secret Life
X. iv.: The lass kneeling over me, sucked my prick as if she loved it, and had practised the art of gamahuching from her infancy,—yet this girl was unfucked and but fourteen years of age.—I pushed up her bum, and I pulled open her little cunt lips—yes she was still intact, unbroken.
1952
J. Kerouac
Visions of Cody
115: I’m hot and unfucked.
1973
E. Jong
Fear of Flying
213: I began to hate myself, to feel ugly, unloved, bodily odoriferous—all the classic symptoms of the unfucked wife.
1975
C. Willingham
Big Nickel
260: Your poor little unfucked pussy.
1979
J. Friedman
Queen of Gang-Bang
in
Tales of Time Square
(1993) 95: Mobs of unfucked men were milling about in the lounges and getting restless.
1983
A. Codrescu
In America’s Shoes
136: Needless to say, the ad didn’t net [him] any lovers. He went unfucked and grew more menacing by the day.
1997
C. Shields
Larry’s Party
127: He thinks of Sally as a random force, a zephyr, who by chance crossed his path and—with purpose, pity, giggling a little as she unzipped his pants—rescued him from shame. There he was, a mere boy at eighteen, unkissed, untouched, unfucked, numbly average, bashfully unexamined.
2000
GQ
(Nov.) 372/1: The plan was Hemingway simple. Experience. Women. Novel. Instead, I wrote one slim poem, then came home broke, unfucked and even more confused.
2003
K. Saunders
Marrying Game
210: He had been trained to fall asleep in tanks and trenches, and other places even more uncomfortable than a double bed with an unfucked wife in it.

2
. not fucked (in other senses).

1967
N. Mailer
Why Are We in Vietnam?
184: They got the unfucked heaven of seeing twelve Dall ram on an outcropping of snow two miles away across two ridges.
1968
P. Roth
Portnoy’s Complaint
259: Yes, this was my kind of girl, all right—innocent, good-hearted, zaftig, unsophisticated and unfucked-up.
1972
Black World
(May) 80/1: Fuck over no one so you will not have to worry about whose [
sic
] going to fuck over you. The “unfucked-over” are both unfuckable and have no need to fuck over
anybody else.
1988
L. McMurtry
Texasville
239: I doubt my life will ever be unfucked again.
1993
Guardian
(Sept. 25) (Weekend Suppl.) 66/1: Their other children, especially the delightful Catherine Zeta Jones, are paragons of unfuckedupness.
1999
K. Sampson
Powder
281: They were like a breath of fresh air—cool, young, motivated team players, unfucked by drugs or baggage, mad on music, ready to go in to bat for you.
2000
E. Reid
Midnight Sun
138: This is one of the last unfucked-up places you’re going to find. It’s too remote for the timber and oil companies to get their grubby paws on it and no way the National Park Service is going to be bussing tourists in here.
2005
J. MacGregor
Sunday Money
i. 30: For white folks about the only thing left unscorched or unsullied or unstolen or unfucked with in the South after the Civil War were stories and ideas.

un-fucking-believable
adjective

see under -
FUCKING
-,
infix
.

W

windfucker
noun

a type of kestrel; (
hence
) (used as a vague term of opprobrium). Cf.
FUCKWIND
noun
.

1599
T. Nashe in
Oxford English Dictionary
: The Kistrilles or windfuckers that filling themselues with winde, fly against the winde euermore.
1602
in
Oxford English Dictionary
: I tell you, my little windfuckers, had not a certaine melancholye ingendred with a nippinge dolour overshadowed the sunne shine of my mirthe, I had been I pre, sequor, one of your consorte.
1609
B. Jonson
Epicene, or the Silent Woman
I.iv: Did you euer heare such a Wind-fucker, as this?
ca
1611
G. Chapman
Iliad
(preface): There is a certaine enuious Windfucker, that houers vp and downe, laboriously ingrossing al the air with his luxurious ambition.
1614
F. Beaumont & J. Fletcher
Wit Without Money
IV.i: Husbands for Whores and Bawdes, away you wind-suckers [
sic
].

WTF
interjection


w
hat (or
w
here or
w
ho) the fuck?”

1985
Ramblings 5/85
, on Usenet newsgroup net.micro.mac (May 18): I asked myself, “W.T.F.?”
1985
Proline C preliminary review
, on Usenet newsgroup net.micro.cbm (May 26): WTF do I need a C primer if I am buying the compiler for the language?
1988
sgipie.ps (file 2 of 5)
, on Usenet newsgroup comp.windows.news (Aug. 28): wtf did all that junk on the stack come from?
2006
New York Magazine
(July 24) 28/2: So I told her it must be nice to afford designer clothes & go on luxurious vacations 2x a yr. Now she is mad at me! WTF?
2007
Wired
(Oct.) 80/2: If the voice in your head doesn’t scream “WTF?!” it’s not strange enough.

X

XXXX
noun

British.
=
FUCK
noun
definition 2.a. [After an advertising campaign for Castlemaine XXXX beer, having the tagline “Australians couldn’t give a XXXX for any other lager.”]

[
1944
M. Elevitch
Letter
(Jan. 15) in
Dog Tags Yapping
(2003) 35: We sat around talking softly—not knowing what had been accomplished and not giving a xxxx.]
1985
Times
(London) (Sept. 6) 19/1: Allied does not give a XXXX for Elders.
1988
Guardian
(June 10) 6/7: Quite a few of the party’s MPs don’t give a XXXX for the whole affair, since they don’t fancy either of the candidates.
1991
South
(Aug.) 6/2: Algerians like their rams to be rams, and it was foolish to expect them to give a XXXX for anything else.
1995–6
Arena
(Dec.–Jan.) 59/1: Most of the world couldn’t give a XXXX about it, something that has long rankled with the marketing men who run the game in the States.
2001
Adrenalin
(No. 9) 133/3: He said it was corrupted by the West, and, because the presence of so many ugly yobbo Australians who couldn’t give a XXXX for anything remotely connected to Indonesian culture, it made him feel ashamed of his nationality.
2006
Independent
(Nov. 25) 39/1: Labour did it before the last election when they circulated, via text message, the loutish slogan: “Don’t give a xxxx for last orders? Vote Labour.”

Z

zipless fuck
noun

an act of intercourse without an emotional connection; (
hence
) a person with whom one has such an act of intercourse.

1973
E. Jong
Fear of Flying
11: My fantasy of the Zipless Fuck.… Zipless because when you came together zippers fell away like petals.
1978
G. Vidal
Kalki
79: Girls who feared flying tended to race blindly through zipless fucks.
1984
T. C. Boyle
Budding Prospects
158: Talk about the zipless fuck, this was real anonymity, cold and soulless as an execution.
1992
in
Esquire
(Jan. 1993) 109: I stumbled through the early ’80s and an address book filled with zipless fucks.
1994
Village Voice
(N.Y.C.) (Aug. 2) 38: Ever dedicated to the zipless fuck, Patsy, the predator, exhibits the kind of natural cleavage that renders the Wonderbra irrelevant.
2001
F. North
Fen
22: You can’t go on the rebound with your ex-girlfriend. It defeats the objects of the exercise. You need a good old zipless fuck.

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