The Final Lesson Plan (26 page)

His eyes widened and then he grinned, taking out one of the strips of paper, and read, "I want to shave you completely, and then lick honey off my sweet honey." Briggs looked at me, pulled me down onto his lap and kissed my neck. "This has been the best birthday ever. Thank you, Janelle," he said, kissing me passionately, running his hands over my bare back. Halter-tops were perfect for skin-on-skin contact. I couldn't wait for him to see me in the referee costume too. Briggs kissed me again, and then said, "Now go get your razor…and the honey."

I could seriously get used to waking up in Briggs' arms. We literally slept all night entwined in one other. Normally, I hated to be touched while I slept, wanted my own room and space. I often felt hot and claustrophobic with someone touching me all night long. I reveled in the feeling of Briggs' arms around me, offering security and comfort.

"Morning Babe," he said, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "Wanna get another strip of paper out of the jar?"

"Yes," I said, smiling. "I need to go pee first though. I'll go; you get the jar."

Just as we were getting out of bed, there was a knock at my front door. I glanced at the clock. It was 10:15 a.m. Feeling relieved that Jasper and Leo were both working, I threw on an old t-shirt and slipped on some underwear. I hated the way Jasper looked at me after a man spent the night. Jasper was good at being the overprotective older brother. But even worse would be the look that Leo would give me if he knew that Briggs and I'd broken the contract and spent all night together. Plus, I just hated the look Leo gave me after I'd spent any time with Briggs.

"Coming," I yelled, unlocking the door.

Leo was on the porch, looking haggard and worn. "Leo, what's wrong?" I asked, my stomach dropping.

I motioned for him to come in; he walked in and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Briggs coming out of the bathroom. Leo didn't say anything; he just turned around and walked outside. Worried, I followed him out, chasing him down.

"Leo! Wait!" I yelled, following him. "Stop! What's going on?"

He stopped and didn't turn around. "I need to go."

"Just talk to me," I pleaded. "What's wrong?"

Leo looked at me and dropped his head. "I came over to talk, to tell you that I was leaving, but that…that…" he stopped, pointing to the house. "It's just too much," he admitted.

"I know; I'm sorry," I said, reaching for him. His body remained stiff, not responding or softening to my touch. "What is it? What'd you wanna talk about?"

"I'm leaving. I'm going to Arizona for while. I want to be there when Megan…when she—" He didn't, or couldn't, finish his sentence. "I wanna go out there for a while. I'm leaving this afternoon," he said.

"Today?" I asked, feeling pains in my heart.

"Yeah, I wanna be there," he said, laying his head down on the hood of his SUV. Taking a deep breath, he looked up at me said, "Janelle, I can't do this. Not right now."

I rubbed his back, and said, "I know, we'll talk more when you get back. Just know that I'm here if you need anything. I hate seeing you like—"

"No, I mean this…you and me...Briggs and you…" he said, pounding his fist on the hood. "It's just…it's…not the right time to get involved."

"Oh…so you mean that you can't...you don't want to be with…ummm…okay," I said, not really knowing what to say. I just let the words fade off, not finishing my sentence. What was I supposed to say? Beg him to stay? To reconsider? How could I ask him to still want me when I couldn't promise that I only wanted him? How was that fair?

"I'm gonna go," he said. Leo hugged me, and kissed the top of my head. "Bye Janelle."

"Leo?' I said, holding his hand. "Are you breaking up with me? Ending this for good?" I had to know, had to put it out there. I couldn't let him leave without knowing his definitive answer.

"How do you break up with someone you don't really have in the first place?" he said as he walked away and got into his car.

"
I was surprised you didn't call me a hundred times this morning," Jocelyn said when I got into her car. Jasper and Jocelyn were going with me to my first Flowers Vs. Flowers court hearing. Gavin Greenwick was meeting us there.

"I wanted to, but I just figured out what I was going to wear on my own," I admitted. I chose my parent-teacher conference orange and tan dress; it's conservative but fashionable at the same time. I really wanted to wear one of my black or gray dresses, but I still hadn't gotten my shoes back from Char. So, I had to wear my caramel-colored pumps instead. I'd twisted my long, dark hair into a sleek twist, adding professional sophistication to my look. I knew Marcus would look like a million bucks; he filled out a suit well.

When we arrived at the courthouse, Jasper and Jocelyn escorted me in to meet with Gavin. They walked on either side of me, providing the security that I so desperately needed at this point. I'd spent all night wishing that miraculously somehow my parents would be waiting for us when we walked into the courthouse. No such luck. Sure, having Jasper and Joz with me, holding my hands, was comforting, but nothing is as comforting as having your parents with you, supporting you. I wasn't even sure what remote underprivileged country they were in at this time. It was getting harder and harder to keep track.

Gavin met us in the courthouse foyer with a grim and angry look on his face. "Bad news guys," he said, shaking Jasper's hand.

"We just got here. How can there be bad news already?" Jasper asked, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"Marcus didn't show…and…he's not coming. His lawyer said that Marcus isn't agreeing to any of the terms we requested," Professor Greenwick explained. "His lawyer rescheduled for four weeks from today."

"Four weeks? I just want this over," I whined, getting even more pissed at Marcus, the jitbag.

"It's a delay tactic. It's a common practice in divorce cases. I'm sorry, Janelle," Gavin said. I wasn't even asking for hardly anything. I wanted sole custody of our dog Gatsby and 50% of the sale of the house. That was all I wanted. I didn't even want anything inside our house. How could he possibly be delaying this?

The four of us went to a small Italian restaurant in a strip mall once we left the courthouse. We were on our second bottle of wine, when my phone alerted me to a text message. I slid the lock over and saw a message from Briggs:

I need to go to Ohio State now for a few meetings. Taking Tate with me. Meyer wants to meet him. Hope things went good with court. You single now? See you tomorrow. Love you.

Then another message came immediately after the first. Also from Briggs:

So yeah I sent before thinking. I love hanging out with you. Hope ur not freaked.

What the fuck did that mean? My head was going a mile a minute. Did he or did he not just tell me that he loved me? Or did he immediately just retract it? Why was he going to Ohio State? I had a zillion questions, yet I couldn't ask any of them. I ended up just sending him a text back:

Ok. See you tomorrow. Say hi to Tate.

I figured we'd just talk about it tomorrow. Or we wouldn't. I didn't know, but I did know that in one day, I'd been stood up by Marcus and Briggs while Leo was in Arizona with his sister. Seemed like I couldn't pay a guy to want to hang out with me.

Yes, it was July 18
th
. It had been five, yes five days, since my court hearing and since Briggs canceled on me. Leo'd been gone the entire time in Arizona. I'd texted Leo a few times, but I only got short, impersonal messages back. Briggs, I didn't even know what was going on with him. As soon as he got back from Ohio State last Friday, he said that he and Tate were going to Connecticut and that he'd tell me everything when he got home. I'd wanted Briggs to take more of an interest in his brother's life, but I suppose I didn't want to take a back seat to all the time he was spending with his brother now. Plus, we needed to discuss that whole "love ya" statement and retraction.

Admittedly, I'd spent the last five days, mopey and irritable. Even Char had been too busy to hang out. Apparently, it was a buyers' market again in real estate. Honestly, I was bored, reading books every day nonstop does get a little old, especially if there isn't anyone to role play all the sex scenes with.

I'd made plans to have dinner with Vivian and Sarah, who by the way, were going strong. At dinner, they were all over each other, holding hands, massaging each other's necks and shoulders, everything. I wasn't at all bothered by their public displays of affection; I was happy for them. What didn't make me happy was that I didn't have someone to fondle, to caress, or to whisper little inside jokes to throughout the entire meal. How could I have two guys, vying for my attention and affection, and still feel lonely and depressed? I wasn't one of those girls who needed a boyfriend. I could function and survive happily without a man. Couldn't I? It was ridiculous that I felt like this, absurd really.

Vivian and Sarah were going to a movie after dinner; I opted out, wanting to go home and soak in my tub before going to bed. When I got home, Briggs was pulling into my driveway at the same time I was. My heart fluttered and my stomach flipped. It was obvious that I had real feelings for him, feelings that went beyond sexual attraction and mutual fondness. I knew I was in love with him; I was pretty sure that he was in love with me, too. I just wasn't ready to make that final leap, take the final step and actually tell him so.

Briggs opened my car door, when I killed the engine, "Babe, I missed you," he said, taking my hand as I got out of the car. We began walking toward the pool house, hand-in-hand, but he stopped abruptly in his tracks and turned toward me. "I can't even wait to get inside," he said, kissing me deeply. Our tongues began their familiar dance around each other's mouths; it'd been too long since I tasted him. Every time he kissed me, the taste and sensation were better than the last. Would it always get better and better? I didn't know how it could, but couldn't wait to find out.

As Briggs kissed my neck, trailing his tongue along my collarbone, he said, "We need a new strip of paper...like now."

"Agreed," I said, pulling away and jumping on his back. "Pronto!"