Authors: Alicia Kobishop
All I could think about was the gun going off. What if he shook it so hard he accidentally pulled the trigger? I could see his eyes now under the halogen light attached to the industrial building where our cars were parked. They were glossy. Bloodshot. Was he high? Or just crazy?
Nobody had heard from Derrick in months. He probably had no idea that Logan was out of the street racing circles.
“Logan doesn’t race anyone anymore,” I blurted out, instantly regretting it.
Derrick looked at me with hatred. “Do you think I’m an idiot?”
My mouth snapped shut. I shook my head no, vigorously. There was no room for tears. Too much adrenaline coursed through my system for tears. Instead, I was acutely aware of everything. The drip of water falling off the roof of the building beside us and onto the puddle below. The hum of the light on the concrete wall. The constant sniff from Derrick’s nose. The mist of our breaths in the cool air. But mostly, my attention focused on the darkness of the barrel of the gun pointed at me.
Then, a rumble.
“He’s here,” Derrick said, handing the gun to the woman. “You know what to do.”
The gun shook in the woman’s hand as she trembled, and he looked at her with concern. He stood behind her and surrounded her hand with his, helping her point the gun at me.
“Like this,” he said firmly, visibly calming her nerves. “Like we practiced. You’re a natural born shooter, Amber, don’t you forget it.” He placed his other hand on her stomach. “We’re not doing this for just us, remember? How are we gonna support a baby if I can’t race?”
I wanted to say something smart and clever, like they do in the movies, to get myself out of this situation. Something like
, you don’t have to do this, it’s not too late
. Or
you’ve got so many other options.
But nothing came out. What if I said the wrong thing? What if they simply didn’t like what I had to say?
Amber nodded, recovering her confidence. “You’re right, babe. Our baby girl deserves the best. And everyone deserves to know that
you’re
the best.”
She turned her head to the side to face him, but he grabbed her head with both hands, forcing her to face me. “Don’t you ever take your fucking eyes off her, you understand me?”
She nodded eagerly. “Yeah, baby. You can count on me, I promise. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“If anything goes wrong. You shoot. Do NOT hesitate. Don’t think. Just act. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“Good. Now follow me to the edge of the building and wait for my signal.”
The rumble got louder as Logan’s car approached, but I couldn’t see him because the building was in the way. Derrick darted in front of us and turned the corner while we waited behind the wall at the edge of the building. The growl of Logan’s engine silenced as he turned off the car.
I heard a car door open and slam shut.
“Where is she?!” I heard Logan shout.
“You’ll get her after the race, you little fuck,” Derrick replied. I heard some shuffling and what sounded like a body being slammed against a metal door or a metal car hood. “Take it easy, son. You wouldn’t want anything to happen to your precious flag girl.” There was a silent moment. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” A smug-sounding Derrick continued, “Get in your car. Your little good luck charm will flag the race so everyone can see it’s fair. Yeah, that’s right. We all know you can’t do shit without her flagging.”
The gun pushed harder into my back as a car door opened and closed again.
“Bring her out!” Derrick called.
Amber nudged me with the gun as she kept a tight grasp on my shoulder. “Move. Now.”
We turned the corner, and my heart jumped at the sight of the Mustang. It was parked next to Derrick’s car in the middle of the road. Seeing Logan’s car, and knowing he was here for me, set off a chain of reactions in my body, like I could release what I had been holding back. My eyes began to swell, my cheeks burned, and I began to breathe heavily. Something about him being here was giving my body permission to break down.
But I couldn’t let myself fall apart now. I had to be strong. Brave. I needed make smart choices, and even though my heart pounded hard in my chest, choosing to break down right now would be the worst possible decision.
We stayed close to the building, and I wondered why Amber hadn’t walked me directly to the cars. Then, she stopped me. “I can’t go any further, baby. The camera will see me!”
Derrick stood in between the two cars. “Good. Turn the laser on.”
I heard some clicking behind me. “It’s on, baby!” Amber shouted.
He nodded. “Now walk over here…
Sweetheart
.”
She shoved me forward. “That means you, bitch.”
I did as they said and started toward Derrick. Walking between the cars from behind, I saw that Logan’s car window was wide open. Absolute fury seeped out of every pore of his body. His face was a dark shade of red. I had never seen him so angry before. Our eyes met as I walked past him, and his expression became more determined.
“Get over here, lover-girl. You’ve got a job to do,” Derrick commanded.
He took me and turned me around so that I faced the cars, while his hand stayed firmly on my shoulders as he stood behind me.
“Look down, sweetheart,” he whispered in my ear. His breath smelled like death and cigarettes. I followed his order and looked down at the ground, but a bright red dot of light on my shirt immediately caught my attention. “That’s our insurance policy that you—and your boyfriend here—aren’t going to try anything stupid.” He spoke louder now, so that Logan could hear. “My girl’s been instructed to shoot if either of you make any wrong moves. You got it?”
My eyes locked with Logan’s. We both nodded.
“Good,” he continued. “There’s a camera here.” He pointed to the sidewalk, a few yards in front of the cars. “And another one at the finish line. Everyone’s gonna see that the only reason you won’t race me is cuz you know I’ll win and ruin your precious reputation.” He pointed at Logan. “Now start your fucking engine.”
Logan immediately brought his car to life. The loud roar sent a surge of thrill through me. Derrick removed his hands from me and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him walk to his car. A second later, he started his own engine.
Logan mouthed,
“Are you okay?”
I didn’t know what I was. I had been doing everything I could to stay calm. So I guess I was calm. Calm is what I needed to be. I nodded in response. His gaze left mine and moved to my chest: to the red dot. A pained expression came over him. His shoulders slowly lifted up then back down with the deep breath he took, and his eyes returned to mine.
My face began to crunch up slightly as the enormous rock in my throat pushed against all my senses, trying to force out a sob. My entire body trembled. I closed my eyes and took a calming breath, pulling myself together. I needed to stay calm.
When I opened them, I looked to Derrick on my right. His evil face nodded that he was ready. I turned my head to Logan’s beautiful, determined gaze on my left. He gave a nod as well, but included a small reassuring smile. His gesture showed me that he, too, was ready. And that everything would be okay.
Engines revved as I lifted my hands above my head. I closed my eyes and breathed. Then forced my hands down.
The high pitched roars of both cars vibrated in my chest, and the smell of exhaust was released in the air. I quickly turned around and opened my eyes to watch. I couldn't tell who was winning for sure, but it looked like Logan. Almost simultaneously, both cars boosted forward from the nitrous.
Suddenly, the blue Honda Civic started fishtailing and screeching. The back end moved side to side, only slightly at first, but each swing became more erratic until it was completely out of control. The back end of the Civic whirled to the side. The front of it jetted forward, directly into the back side of Logan’s Mustang.
I stopped breathing. All the hairs on my body stood on end.
The Civic did a full circle turn. Flying wildly, the passenger side of it smashed into a light pole. The pole acted as a severing mechanism, completely breaking Derrick’s car in two, just before crashing to the ground.
Holy shit!
The Mustang screeched as it swung to the side then began to roll over. Glass shattered. It rolled over again. Metal crunched. And again, it rolled. The cars were far away now, but the noise of the crashing seemed to be right in front of me, like nails on a chalkboard.
“No!” My mind screamed it, but the word came out in only a whisper. My hand covered my mouth as the Mustang rolled one more time, then almost once more, before it bounced back on its wheels. “Oh my God.”
I was running now. All was silent except for the panting of my breath and my feet stomping on the pavement. The cold air blew into my wide eyes as I ran, pricking them, causing tears to flow out the far edges of them.
I vaguely noticed the screaming cries of terror from Amber behind me, but it was constant. I continued to push forward, but everything was happening in slow motion now, and I wasn’t getting close enough, fast enough. My blurry eyes didn’t leave the flattened version of Logan’s car for a second. And there was no movement coming from the inside of it.
Please come out. Please come out. Please be okay.
I was closer now, almost there. Were those footsteps behind me?
A gunshot sounded just before I was stung by something sharp on my left bicep. I stumbled but couldn’t keep on my feet. I tried to put my arms out to catch my fall but only one of them worked. Something snapped in my fingers when they hit the concrete, just before my face followed.
I remembered Derrick’s last words to Amber.
Don’t think. Just act.
She had followed his orders and my arm had a bullet wound in it as a result.
In a state of shock, I laid with my forehead on the pavement for several moments, as the burning in my bicep increased to a level beyond tolerance. My fingers throbbed and my head pounded. Something warm and wet was flowing out of my nose and my arm. Somehow, I managed to push myself onto my side, on the arm that didn’t burn, but I couldn’t lift my head off the pavement.
I looked at Logan’s car again, searching for any possible tiny movement, but there was none. I waited, never taking my eyes off it. Then, I waited some more.
“Please come out,” I whispered, trying to move my body to get to Logan. But it wouldn’t move.
You can’t leave me. You promised.
My breathing shallowed. The pain became too much to bear. The edges of my vision started to blacken, closing in to the center of my focal point—Logan’s car. As much as I tried to fight it, the darkness slowly overtook my vision until it was completely black.
Chapter Thirty-Two
A white flashlight shined into my pulled-open eye, causing me to squint. The other lid was propped open next, with the light shining into my pupil. As the bed I laid in bumped upward, I heard the shuffling of supplies in the cabinet walls all around me.
“What’s your name, dear?” a woman asked from behind me. She seemed so far away. I continued to squint as I pried my eyes open a slit. Everything was blurry, and my head spun. I kept them open just long enough to realize I was in a moving ambulance. A man in uniform sat on the bench next to me and propped me to my side just before putting his hands on my exposed arm. He applied pressure to the back and front of it and laid me back down, keeping his hands on the wounds. The pain from his touch nauseated me.
“It’s a through and through GSW. She’s lost a lot of blood,” the man’s voice said.
I squinted my eyes open again. The man hung a bag of clear liquid on the hook above me. It was too bright in here. My head couldn’t take the light, so I gave up trying to see what was happening and decided to keep my eyes closed. Something poked the vein in my arm, on the inside bend.
I couldn’t shake the dizziness. My entire body began to quiver. Why was it so cold in here?
Where’s Logan?
I tried to say it, but it came out as nothing more than a weak groan. I tried again, but nothing came out. The woman pressed a bandage on my head. Then, I felt myself slipping away.
“Try to stay awake, hon,” the woman’s voice echoed in the distance. But I was tired. Everything hurt. I needed to sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Three
“They think one of the cars hit black ice,” I heard a man mumble. It sounded like Jeff. “The other driver is dead.”
It felt like a vice grip was squeezing my head. I laid motionless, unable to open my eyes right away.
“Oh my God, if I had any idea she was involved in…” My mother didn’t finish. Instead, she began to weep. I imagined Jeff holding her. Consoling her.
The room smelled sterile, like hospitals do. When I finally opened my eyes, a whimper came out of my throat. My tongue felt swollen from the dryness of it. I smacked it against the roof of my mouth a few times to moisten it.
“Livie?” My mother immediately rushed to my side and took my hand. “Livie? It’s Mommy. Are you awake?”
Mommy?…Really?
My voice came out as a whisper. “I’m not a five-year-old, Mother.”
A relieved half-laugh, half-sob, came out of her. She sniffed. “I know that, sweetie.”
My head pounded, and it was itchy. I moved my right hand toward my forehead but something pulled from the inside of my arm.
“Be careful, Livie. You don’t want to pull that IV out,” Jeff warned.
My hand rested back down on the bed, beside my thigh. It was then that I realized the middle and ring fingers of my right hand were taped together in a finger cast. I looked to my left arm which had also been taped up, and held in a sling.
“Do you remember what happened, sweetheart?” my mother asked. “You’ve been out all day.”