The First Days: As the World Dies (19 page)

3. Down the Rabbit Hole

    

    Katie pulled Laura into the hunting store behind her then looked toward the guys. "I have her. You guys can finish up."

    Travis reached in and took Katie's arm gently and looked into her eyes.

    "Katie…" He faltered, as if he wanted to say something, but he wasn't sure what.

    "I'll take care of her with Nerit."

    He nodded, let go of her, and left the store. The door shut behind him with a loud click.

    Laura was shivering violently, her teeth chattering. Katie gently lead her along, trying not to think too hard of the sweaty, greasy feel of the woman's skin.

    "Nerit!"

    The older woman appeared at the top of the stairs and exclaimed,

    "Laura!" and rushed down to them.

    "She was holed up in the grocery store. Hiding under the manager's desk,” Katie explained as she helped Nerit guide the catatonic girl up the stairs.

    "But Ralph…"

    "She's in shock. She probably gave no indication that she was hiding in there. She just kept watching the security tape of her brother dying over and over again."

    "…not fast…enough…" Laura whispered.

    Nerit coughed on the harsh smell emanating from the girl, then whispered, "It's okay, Laura. You're safe now."

    Laura did not even glance in Nerit's direction.

    Together, they got the girl up the stairs and into a shower. They put her in fully clothed. Her dress was plastered to her skin with her own urine and excrement making a foul paste. The water soon ran hot and cleansing over the girls emaciated form. But she barely blinked, barely acknowledged what was happening. She just clung to the VCR tape and the remote control and stared straight ahead whispering, "…not fast…enough…"

    Once the water ran clear, Katie and Nerit undressed the girl. They both winced at her wizened body. Her ribs stood out sharply and her pelvis stuck out harshly beneath her pale skin. Nerit and Katie didn't speak as they worked on bathing the girl. Cleaning her up with clinical aloofness it was if they both could not allow themselves to feel the sheer horror of this woman's mental and physical condition.

    Finally, when they were done, they dressed her in one of Nerit's nightgowns and gently guided her to the kitchen. The entire time, the girl did not release the tape or the remote control.

    "Sit down, Laura," Nerit said softly.

    The woman obeyed.

    Katie sat down across from the girl and finally let herself feel the brutal reality of it all. The girl had been starving to death slowly since this had all begun. While she and Jenni had taken refuge with Nerit and Ralph, this girl had been in that office. It was awful, terrible, and Katie felt guilty that she was relieved that she was not this young woman.

    Nerit sat down with a small container of pudding in her hand. She opened it and spooned a little out. "Laura, it’s time to eat."

    Laura turned toward Nerit, finally acknowledging her, and opened her mouth.

    Katie guessed hunger had finally made Nerit's voice register with the girl. She watched Nerit tenderly shovel a little bit into the girl's mouth. The girl slowly closed her mouth and her jaw worked slightly. For some reason, it was too much to bear. "I need a breather." Katie stood.

    Nerit nodded. "I know. You go. I will stay with her."

    Katie walked out of the kitchen and out onto the balcony. She stood there, gripping the railing, taking deep breaths. She felt like a bitch, but she couldn't deal with this right now. She just couldn't. Yet she couldn't just stand out here and not do anything at all.

    Moving through the living room, she snagged her rifle and went downstairs to help the men load the pallet. They were surprised to see her, but she simply said, "I need to help" and no one protested. She immediately began to help pack up the boxes with supplies while Ralph stood watch over the street.

    Everything was boxed, labeled and taped shut. Once the load was done being packed onto the pallet, they began securing it down with ropes, a large hunting net, nails and wire. By the time they got done, Katie was certain nothing would be tumbling off the thick pallet. Travis had made it complete with a thick, heavy metal wire in the frame that hooked into thick towing chains in all four corners. They all connected to a large metal loop. Katie knew that the plan was to hook the pallet unto the crane's hook back at the fortress and use it basically as an elevator to lift them all up and over the wall.

    She had felt leery about this plan at first, but seeing what Travis had concocted, she felt a bit more secure.

    As they walked inside, Travis took hold of her arm and drew her back.

    "Are you okay?"

    "Yeah, sure…" Katie started to pull away, but Travis held firm.

    "I don't think you are."

    She pressed her lips together, then sighed. "That girl…Jenni was like her in the beginning. Staring ahead, not talking, just blank. Then she snapped out of it."

    Travis flinched. "Oh."

    "I see what Jenni could have been in that girl. If she hadn't run outside but had holed up in a bathroom or a bedroom…"

    "Oh." Travis rubbed her arm lightly and kissed her forehead very tenderly. "But Jenni's okay."

    Katie closed her eyes and nodded. "It's sheer luck, Travis. You, me, Jenni, all of us…being alive. Being okay. We were just lucky to get to safety.

    We could have all been Laura."

    His fingers were very tender as he stroked her hair, trying to calm her.

    "Yes, but that reverend saved you and you saved Jenni."

    "And you saved us," Katie added. She fastened her gaze on him and sighed. "This world is fragile. It hurts so deep. I can't bear to think too far, too much, of what it would be like to lose…" She faltered.

    "Jenni."

    "Or Jason. Or Jack," she hesitated. "Or you. Nerit. Ralph."

    He smoothed her hair gently and gave her a little hug. "I have nightmares…waking nightmares. I see people-the people around metransformed into those things. I have since the first day. Juan, the Mayor, Peggy, others. When you were sick I kept seeing you as one of those things.

    Just for a split second. A waking nightmare of my-"

    "-fear."

    "Yes." He sighed. "I was talking to Jenni that first night. I was thinking how beautiful she was, then for a moment, for a flash, I saw her as dead as one of those monsters."

    Katie looked up at him, her eyes full of tears. "I think we all have those fears."

    "We'll take Laura home with us. We'll help her find her way back to us, to the land of the living. We'll keep each other alive." Travis' voice was determined, full of emotion.

    Katie wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly to her.

    "Help each other be strong."

    Travis held her in his arms and nodded. "Yes. We'll go home tomorrow.

    To Jenni and Jason and the dog and all the others."

    Katie felt tears hot on her face and she let herself relax into his warm embrace. His strength reminded her of her father and he felt so safe and comforting. And for a moment, she let herself believe it was her Dad hugging her and she wept.

    "We'll be okay," Travis promised.

    Katie looked up at him and nodded. "Of course. We have no other choice."

    Travis smiled at her and said, "Besides, I promised Jenni I'd build her a gazebo so she wouldn't get sunburned."

    "Oh, you did?" Katie giggled at the thought of Jenni relaxing in the shade of a fancy gazebo.

    "Yeah. I have a soft spot for beautiful women," he said with a grin.

    "Yeah? Then that's something we have in common," she quipped.

    They laughed together. Travis slung his arm around her neck and guided her toward the steps.

    "You're the prettiest competition I ever had," he teased her.

    Katie just smiled at him and they climbed the stairs to join the others.

    

    

4. In The Heart Of The Abyss

    

    Nerit put Laura down to sleep in the living room and covered her with a light blanket. She sat with her and stroked her clean hair until the girl finally slept. Of course, Laura still clutched the VCR remote and the VHS tape, but at least she was asleep.

    Dinner was a low-key affair. Nerit made a delicious meal and they all enjoyed it. Ralph even opened up a bottle of wine. But at the same time, they were all muted in their conversation. There was a great sense of sorrow at the table.

    There was refuge in working hard, planning, keeping alive: a refuge from feeling too deeply. But Laura had brought the reality of this new world starkly into view. It was hard to deny the horror that existed in the world beyond their tiny conclaves of safety. How easily the walking dead had become "them" and the living "us.” The decaying, mutilated appearance of the zombies made it easy to hate them, fear them, and even kill them. The dead were the enemy and that was a comfort in this world. The lines were clearly drawn.

    But Laura brought it all vividly into focus. Her fate was the norm. Not theirs. They were lucky. For one reason or another, they had escaped the initial bloodbath. They had not joined the ranks of the dead in that first horrible day. It was sobering for all of them to realize that they were alive nearly by the luck of the draw. But Laura was also alive, but not nearly so lucky. How many, like her, survived only to slowly starve to death as the dead grew in ranks to dominate the earth? How many, like her, were shells of their former self, their minds broken by the horrors they had seen? And would they, the lucky ones, one day see something too terrible to endure and also slip into that twilight world or perhaps find themselves one of the walking dead?

    But all this remained unsaid. They spoke instead of their plans to keep themselves safe, alive, and healthy. They had the rare luxury of being in a remote area far from the cities that were overrun with the dead. And they knew it. It was a blessing and a burden.

    After dinner, Katie walked onto the balcony and sat in a chair next to Ralph. She didn't speak, but looked up at the brilliance of the stars above as the fragrant smoke from Ralph's pipe trailed up to the heavens.

    "It's not the end, Katie. Just the next step," Ralph finally said.

    "I guess we are all acting like we're at a funeral," Katie sighed.

    "We are. The funeral of the world. And we're the mourning survivors picking up the pieces and finding a way to move on," Ralph said in one of the longest sentences she had ever heard him mutter.

    Katie looked at him and forced a smile. "I feel so guilty."

    Ralph nodded slowly. "We all do."

    Katie looked toward the living room and waved one hand. "I see her and know that I could have easily have been her. Or one of those things. I don't understand why I'm here."

    "To live. Keep going. Rebuild." Ralph's eyes were unwavering from her face.

    "Sounds so easy," Katie said softly.

    "But it’s not. This is a new and dangerous world. Got a map downstairs.

    Got circles around pockets of survivors. I talk to them online or on the CB.

    Have since the first day. Each day less people respond. Maybe the grid in their area has gone down or the Internet has failed. Or maybe they are dead.

    It's a tough world. I talk to a trucker stuck out in the hills every day. He ran out of gas. He is low on food. I can't go get him because he doesn't know where he is. He's going to die out there. And I'm his only friend."

    Katie shivered and slumped back in the chair, holding herself. "I hate leaving you both here."

    "It's where we belong. Same as you going back to the Fort. It's where you belong." Ralph leaned over and took her hand in his. He gave it a firm squeeze. "You help Travis and the others keep safe. You keep strong."

    Katie looked at him, then smiled. "And you do the same."

    Ralph nodded and Nerit appeared at the door. "It's time to sleep, you two. We have an early morning."

    Ralph unfolded his body from the chair with a little grunt. He walked over and kissed Nerit on the cheek. She smiled softly at him and held out her hand to Katie.

    Katie went to her and Nerit guided her inside.

    Laura was still asleep on the sofa, curled up tightly, clutching the tape in her sleep. Bill was lying on the cot, snoring a little.

    "You and Travis need to share the guest room. Is that okay?" Nerit asked.

    Ralph turned to protest, but was silenced at Nerit's look.

    "I don't care. It's not like he's a jerk who'll try to feel me up," Katie said with a wink.

    Ralph gave Nerit a look as they passed him and she just waved her hand at him. Katie was bemused by Ralph's old-fashioned sensibilities. But she was tired and wanted to sleep.