She took him by the hand and held on when he tried to walk to one of the empty chairs. “Where have you boys been?”
His gaze darted around the table. “You know, Ma. Around.”
Her shoulders slumped and because she wasn’t one to sweep things under the rug, she said in a tone full of fear and fractured hope, “Have you been using?”
Clarke looked at Roman who ducked his head.
“You stupid sonofabitch!” Juvante launched himself at Clarke. His fist connected with the side of Clarke’s face and they both tumbled backward to slam against the wall. They grappled for a few seconds before Juvante sat on his legs, pinning him against the floor. He pounded on Clarke and the dull thud of his fists connecting with flesh filled the air.
Roman joined in the fight, punching Juvante in the back at the kidney line. At seventeen, he was built like a linebacker. He’d put a hurting on Juvante if I didn’t do something.
I grabbed Roman from behind around the waist and flung him toward the opposite wall. He hit it hard and slid to the floor. “Stay there!” I pointed my finger in his face when he shook his head groggily and tried to stand.
Clarke had his arms raised, feebly trying to cover his face. Blood dripped from one side of his lips and the skin underneath his eye was already starting to bruise. I doubted Clarke could top one fifty soaking wet. He was always getting his ass beat. Not because he was skinny but because he was stupid as hell. Always running his mouth or being somewhere he shouldn’t be. Tapping Juvante on the shoulder, I said, “Let him up.”
“I’m not through with him yet.” Juvante paused mid-strike and glared at Clarke.
“Yeah, you are. That’s enough.”
“Take it outside and don’t break any bones.” Sadness coupled with weariness coated Mama Leena’s voice.
I hauled Clarke up by the collar of his shirt and shoved him out in front of me, then went back for Roman. I looked at him and he angrily shuffled along with us until we were outside in the muggy heat.
Across the street old man Moore waved at us from his rocking chair. I nodded at him and followed my brothers around the side of the house to the garage, out of view of the street.
Chapter Five
TANA
“I saw a warthog,” Mark announced while I cleared the table after supper.
I was trying to rush things along so I could have time to get ready before Ryan arrived. I was riding with him to the party. He was always teasing me that I was late everywhere I went. Brooklyn had called to say she could make it to the party after all and knowing us, we’d start talking and then none of us would be ready to go on time. “Where’d you see a warthog?”
“Mom took me to the zoo this morning.”
The Caldwell Zoo had always been one of Mark’s favorite places to visit but we hadn’t been back since the move. “Did you get to see your Gila monster?”
“Uh huh. He’s still there. I told Mom I wanted one.”
“I don’t see a habitat here for it, Creature,” I teased.
“She said when hell froze over.”
I laughed.
“Dad called,” Mark said.
Speaking of hell. I stopped laughing. “Oh? Did he say he was coming to pick you up tomorrow?” If that was the case, it figured. By waiting until Sunday if he bothered to show, Dad wouldn’t have to spend the whole weekend with Mark as a visible reminder he sucked as a father. I doubted that he ever felt guilty for anything wrong he’d done. He’d always had a narcissistic streak.
“Uh uh.” Mark twisted a small Spiderman toy over and over in his hands. “He’s getting married tomorrow.”
“Oh.” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at the last minute, offhand way my so-called father had shared that information. It made me sad that he treated Mark as an afterthought. “I’m sorry, buddy.”
“I asked if I could go and he said I would be in the way at the wedding because I acted like a moron.” He lifted his thin shoulders in a shrug. “I don’t care. I’m having fun today.”
Mom was taking Mark and some of his friends to the movies, probably so he wouldn’t dwell on Daddy Douche, but the way he spoke to Mark pissed me off. “You’re not a moron, okay? Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nope. Dad’s the fuck up, not me.”
My mouth dropped open.
“What?” He drew his eyebrows together. “I called Ryan at the garage. He said that about Dad.”
“Umm...well...”
The doorbell rang and I didn’t have time to remind Mark that it was better not to repeat everything Ryan said. I opened the door to let Brooklyn and Shelby in. They were so opposite each other. Shelby was slender and blonde. She exuded class and money, and was dressed in tailored jeans and an expensive button up shirt.
I’d met Brooklyn after moving to my current neighborhood. She struggled financially the same way that I did. She wore several piercings in each ear with double hoop earrings, a T-shirt featuring a rock band, and ripped blue jeans. She kept a red bandana around her black hair more often than not. In school, she’d had a reputation as the girl everyone knew better than to cross. She had a number of brothers she complained smothered her but they were a close, loving family and she knew she was lucky to have them despite all her grumbling.
Shelby and I were going to be roommates at Bayside in the fall. Brooklyn wasn’t sure yet what she wanted to do with her life. Her family owned a small restaurant near the high school and only took in enough profit to live on. The rest of it they used to help feed the city’s homeless and families who struggled to put food on the table. Less than thrilled with the idea, Brooklyn had talked about having to take that over someday when her parents retired if she didn’t do anything else. Her family wanted her to attend Bayside and room with Shelby and me, but Brooklyn wasn’t sure that college was for her.
“I brought you something,” Shelby said, handing Mark a bag.
He opened it and pulled out the latest video game. It was expensive and I knew Mom wouldn’t like Shelby spending that kind of money on a gift. His face lit up. “Thanks!”
“We’re running late. Let’s go, Mark.” Mom came out of her bedroom carrying her shoes. She searched the coffee table for her keys, they grimaced when she realized she had them in her pocket.
Mark stuffed the game back into the bag and stuck it between the sofa and side table so he wouldn’t have to explain where it came from. In the past, Mom had made him return some of the expensive things Shelby had given him.
“I’ll play a game with you later and beat you at it,” Shelby volunteered.
Mark rolled his eyes and whispered back. “You wish.” He threw himself at my legs, winding his arms around me in a tight hug and I ruffled his hair and leaned down to kiss the side of his cheek.
As soon as he dashed out the door in Mom’s wake, Brooklyn said, “I brought beer.” She darted back outside to her car. Brooklyn always brought the beer. She had fake IDs from four different states.
“Ryan’s coming right?” Shelby raised her eyebrows and gave me a smug smile when I nodded yes. “I knew it. I told you Ryan would go to the party for you.”
“He’s my friend. It’s not like we’ve never gone to parties together before. This doesn’t mean anything.” The words sounded empty even to my own ears. I’d never known a guy like Ryan. Someone who was my friend, my shoulder to cry on, my challenger, my rock, and my hiding place when my life was too much to deal with. Despite how close we were though, there was a part of Ryan he kept walled off as if he was protecting himself.
“You’re not fooling me, Tana. You’re way more into Ryan than you ever were Tristan and Tristan was never even remotely a friend.”
I didn’t want to think about my mixed up feelings for Ryan. In the friendship zone was where he’d clearly stashed us and that was that despite the heat that simmered, threatening to boil over between us.
The front door swung in. “I broke up with Three,” Brooklyn announced. She dumped a bag on the coffee table and handed out the light beers. Whenever a boyfriend pissed her off and she dumped him, in her eyes, the guy lost the worthiness to be called by name.
I took a sip of the beer, not planning on drinking much since I figured I’d have some at the party. “What did he do?”
“He started talking about moving in together.” She shook her head. “He doesn’t even have a job anymore and doesn’t have plans to get one. Like I was going to support his ass.”
“I don’t blame you for kicking him to the curb, but you’ve been through three boyfriends this year alone. Maybe you’re choosing guys who aren’t good for you and you don’t recognize that.”
“I know.” Brooklyn winced at Shelby’s observation. “I’m a magnet for the wrong kind of guy.”
“You draw guys to you and I seem to repel them. I haven’t had a boyfriend since Adam and I broke up last summer,” Shelby said.
Brooklyn traced the rim of the bottle with her fingertip. “That’s because you’re scared. You find these button down shirt, vanilla living type guys and you settle for that.”
“I’m scared?” Shelby asked slowly, furrowing her brow.
“She’s right, Shel.” I gave her a smile, hoping to lessen the sting. “You always play it safe. Look at Adam. Didn’t your mom hand pick him for you to date?”
“She introduced us,” Shelby said.
“And strongly suggested you date him.” Brooklyn glanced at her phone when it rang, then rolled her eyes and silenced it. “Three. Again.”
Shelby flicked her hair back. “Adam’s a nice guy.”
“But was he what you wanted?” I asked.
“I don’t know. He treated me like I was perfect for him.” She took a swallow of her beer. “Granted, it was a little dull, but there were no waves, no issues. Being with him was drama free.”
“Waves and issues aren’t necessarily a bad thing if they’re part of a healthy relationship. Take a walk on the wild side before you settle for another Mr. Boring Nice Guy.” Brooklyn finished off her beer and set the empty bottle aside. “That way, when you’re neck deep in your pearls and society functions, you’ll have the memories of Mr. Wild to make you feel alive.”
“I know that you two think my life is one big bore, but I have responsibilities and expectations. I can’t just walk away from them.”
I exchanged a look with Brooklyn. “Shelby, you’re eighteen years old. Your life is your own.” Shelby’s mother was a real Franken-mom and had structured every moment of her daughter’s life from the time Shelby was a toddler.
“Next week, I have a date with the son of one of my mother’s garden club friends. He’s rich and handsome. I’m quiet and decorative. Together we’re picture perfect according to my family. My life is my own. Sure.” She looked sad.
Shelby had spent her life trying hard to be the perfect daughter in order to win her mother’s approval but she had a better chance at turning into a rainbow than she did of that happening.
Popping her lightly on the leg, I jumped up. “C’mon. We need to get ready.” The three of us went into my room to put on makeup and style our hair.
Leaning closer to the mirror, Brooklyn slicked lipstick across her full lips. “I don’t miss Three at all, but I already miss the sex.”
“I haven’t had sex since Adam and I broke up.” Shelby sat on the bed and leaned back to look at the ceiling. “But I don’t miss the sex.” She glanced at Brooklyn. “It was vanilla.” The three of us laughed.
“I’m going to have sex with Ryan,” I blurted out when the laughter died down. Saying the words out loud whirled my emotions together like someone turned on a blender inside of me.
Brooklyn froze with a mascara brush halfway to her eyelashes. She lowered it slowly and raised her eyebrows. “Ryan.” She drew his name out.
“Why do you say his name like that?” I asked, a little embarrassed I’d spilled the information so abruptly.
“I’m surprised, that’s all.” Brooklyn turned and leaned back against my dresser, her dark eyes worried. “And concerned. Trust fund guys like Adam are boring but at least they’re safe. Guys like Ryan are anything but safe.”
I scoffed at that. “Ryan would never hurt me.”
She bit her lip. “Not physically.”
“Then what?”
“Guys like him have an allure that reels in a girl. Causes her to lose her head and then her heart because he’s good looking and knows how to play her. They have sex and before you know it, the girl is thinking about the future while he’s thinking about the next girl. Ryan could easily destroy you and you know it. I don’t want to see you broken by him, Tana.”
I couldn’t understand where Brooklyn’s fears were coming from. Ryan wasn’t playing me. I was the one who’d asked him to have sex. “I appreciate the love, but Ryan isn’t going to break me. It’s just sex and we’re both clear on that.”
“It’s never “just sex” when the heart’s involved.”
I sighed. “My heart isn’t involved and neither is Ryan’s.”
“I don’t know that I believe that about you but maybe for Ryan. I would believe his heart isn’t involved because I have heard he doesn’t have a heart. Maybe he’s too damaged.” Brooklyn whipped around to finish applying her makeup. “A man can be crushed by the darkness only so many times before he can’t find his way back out. And the stuff I’ve heard about him is some pretty dark shit.”
I knew Ryan’s past had been bad based on his reaction when I’d asked him about it. We’d been hanging at my house about a year ago and curious, I’d pushed him hard for answers. He’d shut me down and walked away. That had hurt because I felt like he couldn’t trust me with whatever it was that had hurt him. But I knew Ryan and whatever was in his past hadn’t destroyed the good that was in him. “He’s not a bad person.”
Shelby got up to search my closet. “I have to agree with her, Brook. Though I don’t know Ryan that well, I get the vibe that underneath all that steamy hot exterior, he’s not a bad guy.”
“Steamy hot?” I laughed when Shelby wiggled her eyebrows and mouthed “oh yeah.”
“I’m your friend, but I do have eyes, and that guy looks delicious.” She held up a low cut black tank top. “I feel like doing something different, something so not vanilla. Borrow this?”
I waved my hand at her. “Go ahead.”
Shelby took off her shirt and tossed it onto the bed then put on the tank. She freed her hair from the band and bent over at the waist, shaking her head and then flipped her hair back upright. “Does Ryan have any brothers? Maybe Brooklyn’s right and I should take a walk on the wild side.”