A
s kids, my friends and I spent a lot of time out in the woods. “The woods” was our part-time address, destination, purpose, and excuse. If I went to a friend's house and found him not at home, his mother might say, “Oh, he's out in the woods,” with a tone of airy acceptance. It's similar to the tone people sometimes use nowadays to tell me that someone I'm looking for is on the golf course or at the hairdresser's or at the gym, or even “away from his desk.” The combination of vagueness and specificity in the answer gives a sense of somewhere romantically incommunicado. I once attended an awards dinner at which Frank Sinatra was supposed to appear, and when he didn't, the master of ceremonies explained that Frank had called to say he was “filming on location.” Ten-year-olds suffer from a scarcity of fancy-sounding excuses to do whatever they feel like for a while. For us, saying we were “out in the woods” worked just fine.
We sometimes told ourselves that what we were doing in the woods was exploring. Exploring was a more prominent
idea back then than it is today. History, for example, seemed to be mostly about explorers, and the semirural part of Ohio where we lived still had a faint recollection of being part of the frontier. At the town's two high schools, the sports teams were the Explorers and the Pioneers. Our explorations, though, seemed to have less system than the historic kind: something usually came up along the way. Say we began to cross one of the little creeks plentiful in the second-growth forests we frequented and found that all the creek's moisture had somehow become a shell of milk-white ice about eight inches above the now-dry bed. No other kind of ice is as satisfying to break. The search for the true meridian would be postponed while we spent the afternoon breaking the ice, stomping it underfoot by the furlong, and throwing its bigger pieces like Frisbees to shatter in excellent, war-movie-type fragmentation among the higher branches of the trees.
Stuff like thatâthrowing rocks at a fresh mudflat to make craters, shooting frogs with slingshots, making forts, picking blackberries, digging in what we were briefly persuaded was an Indian burial moundâoccupied much of our time in the woods. Our purpose there was a higher sort of un-purpose, a free-form aimlessness that would be beyond me now. Once, as we tramped for miles along Tinker's Creek, my friend Kent told me the entire plot of two Bob Hope movies,
The Paleface
and
Son of Paleface
, which he had just seen on a double bill. The joke-filled monotony of his synopsis went well with the soggy afternoon, the muddy water, the endless tangled brush. (Afterward, when I saw the movies themselves, I found a lot to prefer in Kent's version.) The woods were ideal for those trains of thought that involved tedium and brooding. Often when I went by myself I would climb a tree and just sit.
I could list a hundred pointless things we did in the woods.
Climbing trees, though, was a common one. Often we got “lost” and had to climb a tree to get our bearings. If you read a story in which someone does that successfully, be skeptical; the topmost branches are usually too skinny to hold weight, and we could never climb high enough to see anything except other trees. There were four or five trees that we visited regularlyâtall beeches, easy to climb and comfortable to sit in. We spent hours at a time in trees, afflicting the best perches with so many carved-in names, hearts, arrows, and funny sayings from the comic strips that we ran out of room for more.
It was in a tree, too, that our days of fooling around in the woods came to an end. By then some of us had reached seventh grade and had begun the bumpy ride of adolescence. In March, the month when we usually took to the woods again after winter, two friends and I set out to go exploring. Right away we climbed a tree, and soon were indulging in the spurious nostalgia of kids who have only short pasts to look back upon. The “remember whens” faltered, finally, and I think it occurred to all three of us at the same time that we really were rather big to be up in a tree. Some of us had started wearing unwoodsy outfits like short-sleeved madras shirts and penny loafers, even after school. Soon there would be the spring dances on Friday evenings in the high school cafeteria. We looked at the bare branches around us receding into obscurity, and suddenly there was nothing up there for us. Like Adam and Eve, we saw our own nakedness, and that terrible grown-up question “What are you
doing
?” made us ashamed.
We went back to the woods eventuallyâand when I say “we,” I'm speaking demographically, not just of my friends
and me. Millions of us went back, once the sexual and social business of early adulthood had been more or less sorted out. But significantly, we brought that same question with us. Now we had to be seriously doingâracing, strengthening, slimming, traversing, collecting, achieving, catching-and-releasing. A few parts per million of our concentrated purpose changed the chemistry of the whole outdoors. Even those rare interludes of actually doing nothing in the woods took on a certain fierceness as we reinforced them with personal dramas, usually of a social or sexual kind: The only way we could justify sitting motionless in an A-frame cabin in the north woods of Michigan, for example, was if we had just survived a really messy divorce.
“What are you
doing
?” The question pursues me still. When I go fishing and catch no fish, I berate myself inwardly. The pastime is seldom a relaxation for me. I must catch fish; and if I do, I must then catch more. On a Sunday afternoon last summer I took my two young children fishing with me on a famous trout stream near my house. My son was four and my daughter was eight, and I kidded myself that in their company I would be able to fish with my usual single-minded mania. I suited up in my waders and tackle-shopful of gear and led my kids from the parking area down toward the water. On the way, however, we had to cross a narrow, shallow irrigation ditch dating from when this part of the valley had farms. Well, the kids saw that little ditch and immediately took off their shoes and waded in and splashed and floated pinecones. My son got an inexplicable joy from casting his little spinning rod far over the ditch into the woods and reeling the rubber casting weight back through the trees. My daughter observed many tent caterpillarsâa curse of yard owners that yearâfalling from bushes into the ditch and floating helplessly
along, and she decided to rescue them. She kept watching the water carefully, and whenever she spotted a caterpillar she swooped down and plucked it out and put it carefully on the bank. I didn't have the heart to drag the kids away, and as I was sitting in all my fishing gear beside that unlikely trickle, a fly fisherman about my age and just as geared-up came along. He took me in at a glance, noticed my equipment and my idleness, and gave a small but unmistakable snort of derision. I was offended, but I understood how he felt as he and his purpose hurried on by.
Here, I'd like to consider a word whose meaning has begun to drift like a caterpillar on a stream. That word is “margin.” Originally its meaningâthe blank space around a body of type or the border of a piece of groundâhad neutral connotations. But its adjective form, “marginal,” now has a negative tinge. Marginal people or places or activities are ones that don't quite work out, don't sufficiently account for themselves in the economic world. From the adjective sprouted a farfetched verb, “marginalize,” whose meaning is only bad. To be marginalized is to be a victim, and to marginalize someone else is an act of exclusion that can cost you tenure. Today's socalled marginal people are the exact equivalents, etymologically, of the old-time heathens. A heathen was a savage, wild, un-Christian person who lived out on a heath. The heath was the margin of Christendom. No one today would ever use the word “heathen” except ironically, but we call certain people and activities marginal without a hint of irony all the time.
I've never been on a heath, but to judge from accounts of coal-smogged London in the days when “heathen” was in
vogue, a windswept place full of heather and salmon streams sounds like the better place to be. And if the modern version of the margin is somewhere in western Nebraska, and the unmargin, the coveted red-hot center, is a site like Rodeo Drive, I wouldn't know which to choose. We need both, but especially as the world gets more jammed up, we need margins. A book without margins is impossible to read. And marginal behavior can be the most important kind. Every purpose-filled activity we pursue in the woods began as just fooling around. The first person to ride his bicycle down a mountain trail was doing a decidedly marginal thing. The margin is where you can try out odd ideas that you might be afraid to admit to with people looking on. Scientists have a term for research carried on with no immediate prospects of economic gain: “blue-sky research.” Marginal places are the blue-sky-research zones of the outdoors.
Unfortunately, there are fewer and fewer of them every day. Now a common fate of a place on the margin is to have a convenience store or a windowless brick building belonging to a telephone company built on it. Across the country, endless miles of exurbia now overlap and spill into one another with hardly a margin at all. There's still a lot of open space out there, of course, but usually it's far enough from home that just getting to it requires purpose and premeditation. As the easy-to-wander-into hometown margins disappear, a certain kind of wandering becomes endangered, too.
On the far west side of the small Western city where I live, past the town-killer discount stores, is an open expanse of undeveloped ground. Its many acres border the Bitterroot River, and its far end abuts a fence surrounding a commercial gravel pit. It is a classic marginal, anything-goes sort of place, and at the moment I prefer it to just about anywhere I know.
Army reservists sometimes drive tanks there on weekends. The camouflaged behemoths slithering across the ground would make my skin crawl if I didn't suspect that the kids driving them were having such a good time. The dirt-bike guys certainly are, as they zip all over, often dawn to dusk, exuberantly making a racket. Dads bring their kids to this place to fly kites and model airplanes, people in a converted school bus camp there for weeks on end, coin-shooters cruise around with metal detectors, hunters just in off the river clean game, college kids party and leave heaps of cigarette butts and beer cans and occasionally pieces of underwear. I fish there, of course, but remarkably I don't always feel I have to. Sometimes I also pick up the trash, and I pull my kids around on a sled in the winter, and I bring friends just off the plane to sit on the riverbank and drink wine and watch the sunset.
Soon, I'm sure, Development will set its surveyor's tripod on this ground and make it get with one program or another. Rumblings of this have already begun to sound in the local newspaper. I foresee rows of condominiums, or an expansion of the gravel pit, or a public park featuring hiking trails and grim pieces of exercise equipment every twenty yards. That last choice, in all its worthy banality, somehow is the most disheartening of all. A plan will claim the empty acres and erase the spotted knapweed and the tank tracks and the beer-can heaps. The place's possibilities, which at the moment are approximately infinite, will be reduced to merely a few. And those of uncertain purpose will have to go elsewhere when they feel like doing nothing in particular, just fooling around.
(1998)
T
he beautiful McIllhenny River rises timelessly from the foot of the Rocky Mountains in the anglers' paradise that we at Pools and Riffles Guiding Service and Angling Supplies call home. Tumbling from a cleft in a fawn-colored cliff, it runs clear and cold as chilled gin across lovely rocks in headlong flight, only to spread in easy, wadable flats harboring monster brown trout if you know where to look; then it doubles back on itself the opposite way for seven miles in a blue-ribbon section where overhanging ponderosa pines dapple its surface and the play of rose-pink on the sunset ripples of the feeding pods of fish can make you wonder why you ever â¦
May I put you on hold for a second?
Hi, I'm back. Anyway, it's a river to dream of, and at Pools and Riffles, we do. I'm Steve, the owner, chief guide, and chairman of the board. Some years ago I gave up helping folks with their 401(k)'s at Crane White down in the big city. Moved here with my wife, Larissa, and never looked back once, except for the alimony thing. Been here almost two and a half years, every day kicking myself that I didn't do this
sooner. The river is in my blood now, it is my blood itself, and I dream of itâwaking and sleeping I dream of the river. (And also of hitting a small bearded man in a fedora about the head with a carrot.)
Take a look at our brochure: Pools and Riffles is just off the interstate and a short drive from Camas International Airport, with daily service to all major hubs. We'll pick you up in our special van and take you to your accommodations; or, if you choose, you can reserve our streamside lodge with all the amenities, including fax and secretarial. Whether you're an experienced fly fisherman or have a Visa card that was issued just last week, we can provide a consummate angling adventure for everyone. If you don't have your own gear, we'll be happy to rent it to you while explaining that if you're really serious you're going to wind up buying all this stuff eventually anyway so in the long run it'd be cheaper just to go ahead and buy it now. But in this, as in everything, the ultimate decision rests with you.
Maybe you live in a crowded, built-up, urban area filled with urban-type people and their hairdos and CD players. That's your business. Personally, I can take it or let it alone. Up here you'll find that the urban-type environment seems awfully far away. At Pools and Riffles our goal is to make you forget that world and immerse yourself in oursâin our pristine, crime-free streams and rivers, our clear blue skies (we get over three hundred days of sunshine a year!), and our many acres of motels where you usually never have to lock your doors.
To guarantee you the finest fly-fishing experience available, Pools and Riffles has assembled the most outstanding staff
of licensed angling guides in the Rocky Mountain region. Whether you're looking for an afternoon float trip, an overnight, or even a week's excursion into the backcountry, we know we've got the perfect trout-hound for you, whatever your personal preference or style. Allow me to introduce you.
First, there's
Craig
, our resident mountain man. Craig is bigâneed I say more? Craig'll run about six foot seven and about 260, 275 pounds. We're talking big, and that's not even counting the beard. Craig doesn't say much. He doesn't have toâjust “Yep,” “Nope,” and “Like some freshly ground black pepper on yer salad, hoss?” On a trout stream he can do whatever's needed, from tying a size 24 midge fly out of pocket lint to patching through a call to your broker in Tokyo on your cell phone. He practically grew up on these waters since he moved here from Seattle in '96. Wild and free as the mountains themselves, he's always happy to run back to the car and get you any little item you desire. He'll put you onto some trophy fish and himself onto a much-deserved tip, you can be sure.
Potter
is from one of the oldest families on Philadelphia's Main Line, but he'd never tell you that himself. Back in the days of silk fly lines, Pot's great-granddad was the fellow who taught J. P. Morgan the double-haul. But ol' Pot's just guiding for the sport of it, and he's every bit as regular as you or me. If you've got a problem with your casting mechanics, Pot will see it right away and take care to point it out each time you cast. He's famous for encouraging his clients with old angling sayings like “I
beg
you to cast that fly to four o'clock!” and “I
can't
believe you missed that strike!” Shiny, high forehead, old-fashioned shades with side panels, big grin, bottle of Pouilly-Fumé in the cooler, Hasty Pudding anecdotesâthat's Pot. Your angling education isn't complete until you've spent
long hours on the water with him. Did I mention he's a gourmet cook?
Stan
is by far the most dedicated trout angler you will ever meet. He lived in a sleeping bag in a cave above Twelve-Mile Reservoir for eight years, fishing with mouse patterns all night long, if that gives you any idea. His wife's the one that ran off with Claus von Bulow. Stan is in a program now and has begun to take responsibility for some of the problems from his past. Stan has learned to redirect hurtful emotions the way any sensible guy shouldâstraight into fishing, and more fishing after that. There's not a dime's worth of “quit” in Stan.
Unlike the rest of us,
Bethany-Anne
is not a man. As the result of an amicable sex-discrimination lawsuit, we are happy to add her to the team. Despite lacking the upper-body strength required for high-wind casting and pulling the boat out of the water, Bethany-Anne can do some things. Beyond that I'm not at liberty to say. If you happen to arrive with a spouse or girlfriend or other non-fishing guest, a trip with Bethany-Anne might work out just fine.
President Jimmy Carter
joined our staff last fall, and we're honored that he did. Everybody knows what an avid fly fisherman Jimmy is. Historians add that Jimmy is the first President or former President to guide. It costs a little more to fish with Jimmy, and it's worth it, too. (When you're sitting around the campfire, get him to tell you about how he shaved that Secret Service agent's head that time.) He's as personable and friendly and laid-back as they come, just so long as you don't lose any of his tackle or get cigarette ashes in the boat or anything. Jimmy may be the only recent President never to have been indicted, but don't let the record fool you: He can outsmart anything that swims. As you shake his hand goodbye at the end of a once-in-a-lifetime angling epic, remember
that the customary gratuity for former heads of state is 33 percent. Gentlemen, we give you the President!
A word of advice, just between us: During the months of June through October, our bookings are usually very heavy, so it's a good idea to schedule far in advance. To help with your plans, Pools and Riffles has set up its own toll-free number predicting stream flows and fishing conditions for the next five years. A taped announcement of upcoming conditions indicates what you can expect on the dates you have in mind: Condition 1 (Best Fishing I've Ever Seen), Condition 2 (Best Fishing in Twenty Years), Condition 3 (Excellent, Excellent Fishing), Condition 4 (Great Fishing, for This Time of Year), Condition 5 (The Guys Have Been Catching Some Great Fish), and Condition 6 (Great Fishing, Far as I Know, So C'mon Up!).
Occasionally we get questions from potential clients about the incidence of whirling disease in local waters and its possible consequences in a sharp decline in trout populations. However, according to a study we have read, the latest data indicate that there is no such thing as whirling disease.
Out West, the federal government puts out a lot of this misinformation in order to collect its confiscatory taxes and keep down the number of fishing guides. (We offer discounts for payments in cash!) As far as we're concerned, the best people to manage a resource are working anglers who see the river year in and year out, not some bureaucrats somewhere. In our effort to promote wise use, we practice a strict but voluntary policy of catch-and-release. This means that every fish caught will be measured, weighed, photographed, recorded with a tracing of its outline on butcher paper, and returned to
the river so that it can have the same experience another day. If this offends the meat fisherman, so be it; no angler we'd care to fish with would do otherwise.
Many of our clients keep coming back to us year after year, we find. All kinds of folks head our wayâthey're middle-aged, approaching middle age, or in their forties or fifties or mid-fifties; gray-haired, balding, or having not very much gray hair; they might be doctors, lawyers, entertainment attorneys, physicians, bankers, stockbrokers, accountants with law degrees, or surgeons. What they share, and what we at Pools and Riffles prize, is an infectious enthusiasm for being out on the river with a fly rod and fishing and laughing in a particular way just all the time.
At Pools and Riffles we understand that the quality of the angling experience doesn't depend on how many fish you catch, so long as you catch a lot, but rather on their size and on nobody else's being bigger. Such incidentals are the trophies we truly treasure. The light sparkling on the wet clothes of a friend who fell in, the disappointed expression on the face of your partner when you land one, or the complimentary beer in the late afternoon by the boat launch with the car radio playing as you sign the receiptâthese are the intangibles. This is what we offer at Pools and Riffles, where the finest in fly-fishing is as near as a few phone calls, cab ride, an airport, another airport, a third airport, and a courtesy van ride away.
(1999)