The Five-Minute Marriage (36 page)

“
I do not think that would have borne investigation,
”
said Gareth, returning from his conference with the two men.
“
It seems to have been based on the fact that my grandfather did, apparently, marry Prissy Privett—Mordred was able to show me a certificate of marriage, which he had recently discovered, tucked into a Bible in the library—but the date of the wedding, regrettably, came eighteen months after the birth of Mordred
’
s father and six months after that of Lucy, so there would still be no question of their being legitimate.
”

“
Ahem!
”
came the deferential voice of Fidd.
“
As to that, sir—!
”

Everybody turned and looked at him.

“
As to that,
”
said Fidd modestly,
“
even Lord Bollington
’
s marriage to Prissy Privett wouldn
’
t ha
’
made no difference—whether the children was born in wedlock or out of it—for the marriage was what I
’
d call a bit of a spong-up; Prissy Privett was married already! She was married afore she ever took up with his lordship.
Either
of their lordships!
”

“
Good gracious!
”
exclaimed Mrs. Carteret.
“
Was anyone ever so
much
married as that Prissy Privett?
”

“
She must have had considerable appeal,
”
said Gareth, turning thoughtfully to gaze up at the portrait of his great-aunt by marriage, who stood leaning against a tree and laughing down at them all.

“
First she married the Fifth Viscount—and then she married the Seventh Viscount. But who was she married to first of all, then, Mr. Fidd?
”
inquired Delphie.

“
Why,
”
said Fidd calmly,
“
she were married to me!
”
He added, sighing
“
A proper flighty piece she were; you couldn
’
t hold her down, no more than thistle-blow.
”

A stunned silence filled the room for some moments, and then, glancing thoughtfully about at the company, Fidd remarked,
“
Would you be wishing me to serve a nuncheon, then, Miss Delphie?
”

“
Yes, Fidd, thank you,
”
she replied.
“
We shall be twenty, for Mrs. Palgrave
’
s husband is arriving separately, and Lord Bollington has also sent for Mr. Wylye.
”

“
Thank you, ma
’
am,
”
said Fidd, and bowed himself from the room.

“
Well—what a thing!
”
declared Una, who had been silent so far.
“
Only imagine—
bigamy
!”

“
If not
trigamy
, my dear sister!
”
said Gareth.

“
What an outrageous scandal! It is a good thing it was all a long time ago.
”

“
Talking of scandal,
”
said Lady Bablock-Hythe, who had obviously experienced some difficulty in following the involved and shocking ramifications of the Penistone family
’
s previous generations, but had now chosen ground she understood,
“
Talking of
scandal
, Lord Bollington, did my ears inform me correctly—can it be possible that what Fidd gave us to understand just now is actually the case—?
”

“
I am afraid I do not quite follow you, ma
’
am?
”

“
Why, that you and Miss Philadelphia Carteret spent the whole
night
together up on the
roof
—quite alone—quite unchaperoned?
”

Delphie blushed, and met Gareth
’
s eyes, which were full of laughter.

He said,
“
Well, yes, that is certainly true, ma
’
am—and devilish wet and uncomfortable it was, I can assure you! Quite the most disagreeable night I can ever recall having passed.
”

“
But what are you going to
do
about it?
”

“
Well I don
’
t know about Delphie, ma
’
am—but I plan to retire
very
early tonight, into a mustard bath, and I shall also take a stiff dose of paregoric. And I strongly advise Delphie to do the same.
”

“
That is not in the least what I mean—do not pretend to misunderstand me, sir—are you going to offer for her hand?
”

“
Certainly not,
”
said Gareth, taking it.
“
What would be the point? Delphie and I have been married these six weeks past—and very wearing it has been. However, I am in hopes that matters may now begin to improve. Honeymoons, you know, madam, are inclined to be trying! Now, if you will all excuse us, my wife and I have one or two things of a domestic nature to discuss together. We shall see you again around the luncheon table.
”

And he firmly whisked Delphie into the next room, a very pretty parlor with a french window, and out through the window into a paved rose garden.

“
Why, this is charming!
”
said Delphie, sniffing the budding flowers.
“
I had no idea there was anything so pretty at Chase. Just a minute, Lord Bollington
”
—for he was about to take her in his arms again.

“
Well, what is it now?
”
he demanded impatiently, for she was digging in her reticule and produced an envelope.

“
Knowing that you have vowed not to conclude any matrimonial alliance that does not satisfy every dictate of sense, prudence, and rational—
”

He snatched the paper from her.
“
What
is all this? It can
’
t be your marriage lines—you
’
ve already torn
‘
em up.
Lord Bollington?
What has this to say for itself?
”

“
It is just,
”
said Delphie,
“
that I thought we should not begin our married life without a proper introduction!
”

He read:

My
dear Lord Bollington
...
This is to introduce to your Notise a young Connection of yours
,
Miss Carteret. Miss Carteret is the best
,
most scrupulously honest young Lady of my acquaintance
...
Her Morals are Unblemish
’
d
,
her Character direct & Sinsere
,
her Mind of a Purity the most Unecsepshionable & Limpid
..
.