The Forsaken (20 page)

I’m still thinking about the fact that he called me awesome. “Sounds like a deal,” I manage to say.

He sticks out his hand with an overly formal flourish, kidding around. “Shake on it?”

I laugh and shake his hand. He holds it just a moment too long before he lets go.

When Gadya returns the next day, we don’t even talk about what happened. But she works me harder than ever, and seems particularly gruff, so maybe she’s angry. I get the feeling Liam and Veidman gave her no choice in taking a day off. Soon, however, things go back to normal, and we continue to spend our time sparring and running drills.

“You’re getting good,” Gadya says grudgingly near the end of our training. “Definitely better than most of the girls here—and even a few of the boys.”

I nod, realizing this is probably the highest compliment she can pay me.

Then she adds, “Just don’t get complacent. ’Cause the gray zone’s not gonna be a walk in the park.”

“No kidding.” I shoulder my spear. “Thanks for teaching me.”

She squints in my direction. “It was kind of fun, actually.”

Despite my new skills, I still feel incredibly nervous about what’s going to happen to me. I’m trying not to think about all the awful things that might befall us on the journey.

Fortunately, my mind gets distracted from my worries on the night before we leave. Liam stops by my hammock before dinner. He’s holding a small wooden crate.

“What have you got there?” I ask.

He opens the crate, revealing a small tureen, some apples, and a pair of bowls. I see a couple of unlit candles in there too. “Want to have dinner with me?”

I smile. “Only if you don’t light those candles. We’re just friends, or have you forgotten already?”

“I haven’t forgotten.” He picks up the candles and tosses them out of the crate.

Then he leads me down to a nice part of the riverbank, where we sit on flat rocks next to each other as he dishes out the food.

“How are you feeling about everything?” he asks, as we start eating.

I’m not sure if he means about us or about the journey that lies ahead. So I just say, “Fine.”

He takes a bite of stew. “It’ll be worth it to get off the wheel, just to have some real food again.”

“Don’t let Rika hear you say that.”

He puts down his bowl. “Hey, I got something for you. I mean, it’s no big deal. I hid it here earlier, as a surprise.” He rummages behind the rocks and finally pulls out an object.

For a second, I think it’s a weapon. It’s just a long piece of wood with some nails at the top and metal wires running lengthwise down its surface.

Then I realize what it is, and I laugh in amazement and delight. “Liam— How did you? It’s—” I bring my hands up to my face. I feel like I’m about to cry.

“I remembered you said that you play music.” He hands the object to me, and I take it in my arms. “I made it late at night, when I was supposed to be sleeping.”

I look down at the object in wonderment.

It’s a homemade guitar.

Primitive, but definitely functional. Liam has strung six metal wires at different intervals on the plank and nailed them down at the top and bottom to keep them taut.

“You can spin the nails,” he explains. “I’ve wrapped the wires around them, so you can actually tune it. I know it’s crappy, and you deserve a lot better, but it’s the first guitar I’ve ever made.”

“It’s not crappy,” I say, looking up at him. “It’s perfect. I can’t believe you did this for me.”

Then, impulsively, before I can stop myself, I lean up and kiss him.

I don’t even know what I’m doing or thinking.

My lips find his and press against them. He kisses me back, his lips melting into mine, making me shiver for an instant.

Then I pull back from him. “Wow,” I murmur. I feel confused. Hot and guilty. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Yeah. I thought you said no kissing.” His voice is husky. I feel like I’ve surprised him. I’ve definitely surprised myself.

“I don’t know what happened.” But the truth is, I do know. I’ve fallen for him, despite Gadya’s warning. And I don’t know what to do about it. Should I talk to her right away and confess everything? Or just try to end things with Liam instead of making everything worse? Neither decision sounds easy.

“It’s okay,” he says, noticing my expression. “I won’t say anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

I look back down at the guitar. “Thank you so much for this. You don’t know what it means to me.” So many unspoken words hang between us.

“Well, I better get going,” Liam finally says. “I got a nighttime training run. Tomorrow’s the big day, right?”

I nod. “Right.” As crazy as it sounds, I almost wish I’d gotten sent to the wheel earlier, so I could have had more time in the village with Liam, before the expedition. “See you tomorrow,” I say.

With an awkward half wave and a smile, Liam heads off for his training run.

I stare after him, watching his figure disappear. Then I sit there for a while, strumming the guitar strings with my fingers, spinning the nails automatically to get the instrument in tune. I start playing softly to myself, finger-picking melodies I remember from my dad back home. They’re comforting to me, like lullabies. But they also make me nostalgic for a world that’s gone forever. The only songs I was allowed to practice or learn at the orphanage were patriotic ones approved by the government.

When I finally walk back to my hammock, I rest the guitar under some leaves to keep it safe. Then I head over to the fire pit. There are still preparations I have to make for the journey.

Provisions are being packaged, and additional water flasks are being sewn from hoofer skins. According to Veidman’s best guesses, the journey to the aircraft landing site might take several days. No one knows for sure. Because of the inexplicably frigid temperatures that exist in the gray zone, we’ve also assembled a bunch of old sweaters, jackets, gloves, and hats to help keep us warm. They now have to be packed up in homemade hoofer-hide knapsacks.

I’m glad I’m going on the expedition. I want Gadya by my side. And Veidman too. And most of all, Liam, who I’m secretly aching to kiss again.

I’m thinking all these things as I go off into the nearby forest with a torch, to gather sapling branches to use to bundle our water flasks.

I’m still within shouting distance of the camp, when I see a robed figure crouching in the dark, illuminated by my flickering torchlight.

I stop walking right away.

Despite the robe, there’s no way this can be a drone. Not so close to the village like this, and not all alone. They always run in packs.
Maybe it’s Liam, testing me again.
But this robed figure looks too small to be him.

“Who’s there?” I call out. I should probably feel more afraid, but I already have a knife in one hand and a torch in the other. Plus, I know that other villagers are nearby. “Show me your face! What are you doing here?”

The figure slowly hobbles toward me, revealing his identity as he slips off his monk-like cowl.

“David,”
I breathe in shock. “You’re alive!”

“Alenna.” He’s found a new pair of wire-frame glasses, slightly too large, and he pushes them up his nose. “Please, don’t go. Just listen.”

On the one hand, I know I should believe what Gadya said. That David tricked me and that he’s some high-level drone. But on the other, I remember that moment on the hillside when he shoved the drone out of the way and saved me. That wasn’t planned, or faked. Neither were his emotions when he was imprisoned in the kennels.

He holds out both hands. “Look. I’m unarmed. I snuck out and came here alone. And it was a long journey.”

“Why did you come at all?” I realize that my blade is still half-raised, so I lower it.

“To find you. Every single thing I told you is true.”

“Look at you. You’re wearing robes. If anyone sees you, they’ll say you’re a drone now for sure! They’ll try to kill you.”

“I’m just living with the drones to get answers. If I were a drone, I’d be drunk and lobbing fireworks at everyone—or planning ways to tear down your village. Instead I’m risking my life to help you.”

“How did you escape from your cell when the other prisoners got killed? You owe me some answers. Everyone says your people came and rescued you. That you set me up and tried to dupe me, so I’d help you become part of this village. So you could spy on us.”

He’s shaking his head. “That’s crazy. That’s not what happened.”

“I believe you, but others won’t. And honestly, it’s getting harder to tell whose side you’re on, David.”

“I’m on my own side!” He moves even closer. “Haven’t you heard of individuality? Alenna, look, there are places on this island that are pretty much desolate. No drones, no villagers. Just lots of land. I’ve heard that sometimes kids just leave and go live on their own, or in small groups in the forest. There aren’t any natural predators on this island. The only things to fear are other people. I came here to tell you that we could leave together, and just go somewhere and create our own society. Or find a group of kids who aren’t fighting each other all the time.”

“We’d just get killed.” I pause. “If you’re for real, then come back with me to the village right now. Tell Veidman and the others everything you learned from the drones. I can offer you safe passage.”

He shakes his head. “I’d get locked up again and drugged. At least at the drones’ camp I can do whatever I want, pretty much. I lied and told them that I killed a villager, so now they think I’ve passed my initiation rite. But they’re not all evil. Most of them are just running wild and don’t know where to turn. That’s what makes them so dangerous.”

“David, do you swear you’re telling the truth about everything?”

“I swear it.”

“You still haven’t explained how you escaped from the kennels,” I point out. “Especially when all the other prisoners got torched.”

“I didn’t escape.” He pushes his glasses up his nose again. “All I know is that some drones turned up and opened my kennel, and I ran. Like anyone else would. I wanted to get away from Markus so he didn’t beat me anymore, and from Veidman so he couldn’t test his serums on me. I didn’t find out until later that the drones burned the other prisoners alive. Maybe they didn’t want me or anyone else talking to you. I’m as scared as you are. I’m just staying with the drones because there’s no place else to go. I’d rather be here with you than with them, if I could.”

Before I can ask him any more questions, he speaks up again:

“I need to get back to my camp in the orange sector before they notice I’m gone—or before one of your perimeter guards finds me. I’ll contact you again soon. Just be careful. Watch your back.”

I nod. “I will.” I don’t mention Operation Tiger Strike. I wonder if he even knows about it.

He raises his cowl and steps backward. “We could leave all this madness behind and start our own thing. Create a new New Providence on the wheel. That is, if you’re willing to leave your little boyfriend behind and take a chance.”

“So you’ve been spying on me!”

“Looking out for you is more like it. Just think about what I said.”

I stare at him, my torch reflected in his glasses. His plan sounds suicidal. But I realize he might be one of the only kids on the wheel even making an attempt to straddle the two worlds of the village and the Monk’s camp. I think back to when it was just the two of us. When we first woke up on the island and everything seemed so peaceful. No villagers or drones. Maybe David has a point after all.

He takes another step back, in between the trees. In the darkness, his robes make him nearly invisible.

“Remember, civilization is what we make it,” his disembodied voice says. “It might turn out that Veidman and the Monk are equally wrong about how to approach life on the wheel.”

Before I can think of a good response, he’s gone. Vanished back into the forest. I look for him, raising my torch. But there’s no sign of him.

I want to run back and tell everyone in the village about David’s return, but I know it could jeopardize their trust in me if they think I’m fraternizing with the enemy.

As I start walking back to the safety of the main clearing, my encounter starts to seem like a mirage or hallucination. Or a ghost. I don’t know who David really is—let alone what his agenda is anymore. I could be in serious trouble. I quicken my pace, heading toward the fire pit.

THAT NIGHT I GET
only a few hours of sleep. As the sun rises over the island in the morning, the sky takes on a reddish hue. It’s finally time for Operation Tiger Strike to take effect.

Veidman and Meira stand before us at the fire pit in the sun, surveying the entire village. Nearly everyone is here, except for the Ones Who Suffer and some guards. This is the last time all of us will be together for a while—possibly forever.

“Those of you staying may face tougher challenges than those leaving,” Veidman says, his voice ringing out in the silence. “My thoughts will be with everyone who remains behind.” I notice he doesn’t say “prayers” or anything like that. There’s no religious talk in the village, and there never has been. The Monk has usurped everything religious on the wheel by twisting it into something perverted. The closest thing to religion in the village is probably Rika’s pacifism.

For once, kids don’t chatter in response to Veidman’s words.

“Say your good-byes,” Veidman instructs somberly. “The hunters and I will be leaving in half an hour, heading north.”

A girl nearby breaks down crying, and she is quickly consoled by two of her friends. I feel a pang of longing for the village. It’s the only safe place I know of on the wheel. Maybe I’m making the wrong choice. But I have to find out about my parents.

“Veidman’s really dragging this nonsense out,” Gadya mutters in my ear impatiently. “Let’s get going already!” I glance at her and see that she’s a war chest of weaponry. Along with her homemade pack, she’s carrying two bows, a clutch of arrows, and a spear that doubles as a walking stick. She sees me staring. “Better safe than sorry.”

I just have my simple bow and a few arrows that Liam made. And my knife. I haven’t brought the guitar. There’s no room for it in my pack, and I know we’re going into a place where making unnecessary noise could put lives in danger. I’m hoping Liam will understand. I wish I could think of something to do for him that is half as nice as making the guitar.