The Game Changer (36 page)

“It’s the same reason you never committed to anything more than a few dates or a one-night stand. Your mother told you you’d never find love and that you should settle, so you never even tried, because what if she was wrong? What if you could have what your parents never had, and be truly happy and in love? It wouldn’t matter though, because you wouldn’t deserve to be happy.”

Olivia sniffled and wiped tears from her face angrily. “What are you now, a shrink? You think you can probe into my inner psyche and fix me?”

“Ugh!” Melody cried, throwing up her hands in frustration. “You are so freaking stubborn! I don’t want to
fix
you, damn it, I want you to be happy. And you can
be
happy, you
deserve
to be happy, but now it’s not your mother holding you back, it’s
you
.”

Olivia tossed her hair over her shoulder and planted her hands on the island, leaning toward Melody. “Fine. Fine, let’s just say you’re right, and all the things you’ve said are true. But if I’m afraid of success, then you’re afraid of failure. You stayed in a relationship you weren’t happy in because you didn’t want to fail. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you were stuck and miserable. Now you’re clearly developing feelings for Julian, but I bet you haven’t made a move because you’re afraid he’ll turn you down. You’re afraid of being alone because you think it means you failed somewhere along the way.”

Melody shrugged. “You’re right,” she agreed, surprising herself that there was no hesitation or denial. “You’re bang on, Olivia. Does that make you feel better? To know that I’m human, just like you? To know that I make mistakes and have regrets, and that sometimes I’m
terrified
I’ll end up alone and miserable?”

Olivia’s face remained stony, but her eyes softened slightly.

“I’m not trying to hurt you,” Melody said. “And I don’t by
any
means think I have all the answers. But I know you. I’ve known you my entire life, and maybe I see the things about you that you don’t see, just like you see things about me that I don’t see. That I don’t
want
to see. But you’re not your mother, Liv. You’re nothing like her. You deserve better than all the crap she dumped on you, but you’re an adult now, and the only person standing in your way is
you
.”

“I don’t know why,” Olivia whispered, her voice breaking. “I don’t know why I’m so scared. It almost seems like a way of life now. What if I succeeded and got everything I ever wanted in life? And then what if it wasn’t enough?”

“Make it
be
enough,” Melody said. “So the whole world might never know your name, and you might never make dresses that are worth thousands of dollars. Would you really want that anyway? And your relationship with Cameron might not be perfect, but is there even such a thing as perfect? You’re so passionate, would you be able to settle for a relationship where you weren’t challenged once in awhile? You can’t have one-night stands forever. You can’t close yourself off because you’re afraid of being happy.”

Olivia leaned her back against the fridge and closed her eyes. “Sometimes,” she said slowly, “I really hate that you know me so well.”

Melody let out a surprised laugh. Some of the tension eased from her shoulders, and she let out a long breath. “Well, that goes both ways.”

Olivia opened her eyes and leveled her gaze on Melody. “I’m so sorry, Mel. For not making you a priority, and for getting so angry with you. For being so totally screwed up,” she added with a light laugh.

“Don’t apologize for that last part,” Melody told her. “I’ve had a lot of time to think the last few weeks, and I’ve realized I’m more screwed up than I thought.”

Olivia lifted one shoulder. “Guess we all are in our own special way.”

Melody chuckled. She met Olivia halfway around the island, and they wrapped their arms around each other. “I really hate it when we fight,” she said into Olivia’s hair.

“I do, too. But maybe this was a necessary one? Something that had been building, you know? I think we’re good for another ten years or so.”

Melody felt Olivia’s chest shaking with laughter, and she joined in. “Sounds good to me.”

“I’ve missed you,” Olivia whispered a minute later, her arms still locked around Melody. “I really am sorry.”

“I know. Me too.”

With a final tight squeeze, Olivia released Melody and stepped back, wiping her eyes. “You know, the worst part about all this besides the hurt I’ve caused you, is Cameron’s reaction when I told him I thought we needed a break. He looked like…I don’t know, almost like he’d been expecting it. He said he’d go along with whatever I wanted—give me time and space—but he looked so…disappointed.”

“He’d probably hoped you’d gotten over whatever issues had made you not want a relationship before,” Melody said.

“That’s what I was thinking,” Olivia agreed. “And I
had
. Pretty much, anyway. God, Mel, what’s wrong with me?”

Melody couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped her. “There’s nothing
wrong
with you. Cameron knows that. He’s obviously crazy about you. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

Olivia let out a long sigh as she made her way back around the island to finish making lunch. “I sure hope so.”

*****

“Call him.”

“No. We’re spending time together. I can call him later.” Olivia shot Melody a mock glare, then turned her attention back to the catalogue in front of her.

It was later that day, and the two women were working on plans for Ava’s room. They had moved the dining room table and taken measurements in the alcove, and now they were looking for furniture. Melody could tell that Olivia’s heart wasn’t really in it by the way her eyes often shifted out of focus, but Olivia refused to leave Melody’s side.

“A bit of time apart will do us some good,” Olivia had reasoned after the fifth time Melody suggested she call Cameron. “You and I need some time together. I’ll call Cam later tonight and let him know that—”

“That you’ve come to your senses?” Melody interrupted.

Olivia huffed. “Well…yes.”

Now, Melody had to bite her lip to keep from nagging Olivia. She was happy to finally be spending time with her best friend, but she’d rather Olivia’s mind be at ease, and have her full attention.

“Tell me about Julian,” Olivia said suddenly.

“What about him?”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me, Melody Anne. When is he coming back to town?”

“He’s already back, actually.” Avoiding Olivia’s gaze, Melody stuck a small coloured sticky tab over a bed with a built-in bookcase for a headboard.

“When are you going to see him? Are you going to tell him how you feel?” Olivia pressed.

Melody met Olivia’s gaze. “We’re going to make plans for the weekend, I guess. I don’t know what to tell him, because I don’t know how I feel.” When Olivia rolled her eyes again, Melody mimicked the gesture. “I know I’m developing feelings for him, but I don’t know if it’s something I want to pursue. I don’t know if he’d be interested.”

Olivia cocked her head to the side. “You really are blind sometimes,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s interested, trust me.”

Melody’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Well…even if that were true, I’m not the only one he’s interested in, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw him with a woman yesterday. I thought he was still in Guelph working, so imagine my surprise when I turn around at lunch and there he is with his arms around some sexy blond. I couldn’t believe how jealous I felt. I’ve seen him with other women before, but I told myself I had no right to feel jealous because we were just friends. That was
my
choice.”

Melody glanced down and realized she was crumpling the edge of the catalogue in her fingers. “But the more time I spent with him, the more I realized he was completely different from what I expected. And it occurred to me that he’d be the kind of guy I could be more than just friends with.”

Olivia nodded slowly. “But he’s still…hooking up with other women?”

“I don’t know that for sure,” Melody admitted. “But it seems that way. One time when I was talking to him on the phone in Guelph, there was a woman in his room, and it was late at night. Then yesterday…”

“I can’t believe how calm you are about all this. If the guy I liked was hanging out with other women, I’d freak.”

“I know you would,” Melody said with a laugh. “But there’s no sense jumping to conclusions. How many people have we known who have gotten themselves into trouble by assuming the worst? It’s not worth getting worked up over. Worst case scenario, he can keep doing whatever he’s doing, and we can stay friends.”

“Will that be enough, though?”

Melody took in Olivia’s cocked head and sympathetic eyes. She was sure Olivia knew the answer to her own question—they’d been right earlier when they said they knew each other better than they knew themselves.

“It might have to be,” Melody said.

“Or not,” Olivia stated. When Melody looked at her with one quirked brow, she continued, “It doesn’t have to be. If I’m going to get over my fear of success, you need to try to get over your fear of failure. Tell Julian how you feel. Lay it all out there. If it helps, get drunk first,” she added with a laugh.

Melody started to laugh, but then had a sudden flash of memory from the weekend before of a drunken conversation she’d had with Julian. She’d been so drunk she couldn’t remember much from that night, and she’d wondered throughout the week if she had said or done anything embarrassing. Now she remembered; coming on to him…kissing his neck…telling him she liked him.

Melody dropped her head into her hands and groaned.

“What is it?”

“I think he already knows.” Melody lifted her head to look at Olivia. She told her about her night with Julian at Sweet Home Alabama, her run-in with Sydney, and then the endless drinks before Julian brought her home. “I may have…hit on him.”

Olivia’s eyes grew wide. Melody could see her processing, and then she suddenly burst out laughing. “You’re not sure?”

“It’s not funny!” Melody cried, despite the twitching in her own lips. “It’s not funny,” she repeated through a laugh. “It’s a bit hazy, but I kind of remember telling him I liked him, and maybe…kissing his neck.”

Olivia’s laughter subsided and she grew serious. “How did he react?”

“Basically told me to sleep it off.” Melody shrugged. “Then he left the next morning, and hasn’t mentioned it since. He’s been normal in his texts and phone calls, though. He even told me he misses me.”

“Really? Wow. I don’t know many guys who would say that to a
friend
,” Olivia said pointedly.

“I thought that too, but it’s not like I’ve had a lot of experience with guy friends,” Melody pointed out.

“Take it from me, then. You need to talk to him.” Olivia’s phone vibrated across the coffee table. She picked it up and read the caller ID. “It’s Cam.”

“Answer it,” Melody urged, waving her hands toward the phone. “I was going to start bugging you again about calling him anyway.”

Olivia grinned and pressed the Talk button with shaky fingers. “Hi Cam.” She signaled to Melody that she’d be back, then walked off in the direction of her bedroom, saying, “I’m so glad you called.”

Melody smiled to herself. She continued looking through catalogues, and when Olivia returned several minutes later, Melody was pleased to see she was still smiling. “That go well?”

“Very,” Olivia said, the dreamy love-struck look from the past few weeks returning to her eyes. “He completely understands why I freaked out. I told him I don’t really want to be on a break, I just want to be with him.”

“Good for you, Liv,” Melody said. “That’s a big step.” She marked the page she was on and closed the catalogue. “So are you going over there now?”

“No,” Olivia said firmly. “We’re spending time together. Cam and I may still be together, but things are going to be different. Our friendship is way too precious for me to jeopardize it by being stupid.” She flipped aimlessly through pages of the catalogue in front of her, not really seeing any of the furniture.

“Liv?”

Olivia looked up and met Melody’s eyes.

“Go see Cameron.”

Olivia started to protest, but Melody cut her off. “Go, I mean it. Spend the night with him, make sure everything’s good. I’m probably going to see Julian tonight, and I have plans with Ava for tomorrow. You and I will figure things out and make it work.”