Authors: Scott Lynch
“Hold!” said Jean. “Patience, please, give us time to talk. In private.”
Patience nodded curtly and moved the knuckles of her right hand.
Light shifted on the silvery gleam of her cat’s cradle. Jean blinked, and in that
instant thread and woman alike vanished into thin air.
“Great,” said Jean. “Fucking magnificent. I think you’ve finally managed to
really
piss her off.”
“Nice to know I still have the knack,” said Locke.
“Are you really, truly out of your gods-damned mind? She could save your life.”
“She could do a lot of things.”
“Take the chance, Locke.”
“She’s up to something.”
“What a
revelation
! What an amazing deduction! I’m sorry, remind me again what your other options are?”
“She wants something from
me
, damn it, more than she’s letting on! But she’s already got everything she can take
from you, right? You said it yourself. If she’s out to get you, she’ll get you. But
if she does right by you, then you’ll be in a strong position to move on.”
“It works that way for both of us.”
“I won’t be that witch’s toy,” said Locke. “Not for all the money in Karthain. She’s
not
human
. None of them are.”
Jean glared coldly at Locke. He lay under Patience’s cloak, his wild aspect incongruous
next to the fine oilcloth. A cornered animal, preparing to die, huddled under delicate
material worth several years of a skilled laborer’s life. The whites of his eyes were
turning pink.
“Patience was right,” Jean said quietly. “She has wasted our time. You’ll die choking
on your own blood. Today, tomorrow. Doesn’t matter. And you’ll be so
happy
with yourself. Because somehow dying has become an achievement.”
“Jean, wait—”
“Wait, wait,
wait
.” The resentments and frustrations of the past few weeks seemed to boil up as Jean
spoke. The old familiar temper, snapping like a rope frayed down to a single strand,
the rage like a hot pressure under his skin, pulsing from his skull to his fingertips.
Only it was worse than usual, because there was nothing he could hit. Zodesti, Cortessa—Jean
would have snapped their bones like badly fired pottery. Patience, even—he would have
gone for her throat, dared her sorcery. But with Locke he was limited to words, so
he weighted them with scorn and let fly. “What the hell have I done but wait? Wait
on the
boat to see if you got sick. Wait here, week after week, watching you get worse. Day
and night, chasing any hope this fucking city could offer, while you—”
“Jean, I am telling you, every instinct I have says this is a setup.”
“No shit. And since we
know
they mean to use us, why can’t we use them as well, for everything we can get out
of the deal?”
“Give me up, Jean. Let me go and their fun vanishes. Then they’ll have that much less
reason to play you false.”
“Oh, marvelous. Fucking masterful. You’ll be dead and they’ll be
inconvenienced
. Maybe even
mildly disappointed
. What a worthy trade! Like slashing your throat just before your opponent can take
a piece in Catch-the-Duke.”
“But—”
“Shut it. Just shut it. You know, when you’re healthy, you’ll laugh the gods right
in their faces. But when you’re convalescing, sweet hell, you are a
miserable
bastard.”
“I’ve always admitted—”
“No. You’ve never admitted
this
. You don’t stand still, Locke. I played along in Tal Verrar when we talked about
retiring on our money, but that was bullshit and we both knew it. You don’t retire.
You don’t even take holidays. You move from scheme to scheme, jumping around like
a spider on a hot skillet. And when you’re
forced
to stand still, when you don’t have a thousand things going on to keep you distracted
from your own thoughts, you
actually want to die
. I see that now. I’m so gods-damned slow and stupid I see it for the first time!”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You and I, in the boat, after we torched the glass burrow. After we killed Bug’s
murderer. Do you remember what we talked about? What you were like? And Vel Virazzo.
You tried to finish the Gray King’s work by drowning yourself in wine. Now this. You’re
not just cranky when you’re ill, Locke, you have the … look, it’s called
Endliktgelaben
. It’s a High Vadran word. I learned about it when I was studying as an initiate of
Aza Guilla. It means, ah, death-love, death-desire. It’s hard to translate. It means
you have moods where you
absolutely want to destroy yourself
. Not as some self-pitying idle notion, either. As a certainty!”
“For Perelandro’s sake, Jean, I wouldn’t want this if I had a fucking choice!”
“You don’t want it up
here
,” said Jean, pointing to his own head. “You want it somewhere deeper, so deep you
can’t recognize it. You think you’ve got some logical, noble excuse for showing Patience
the door. But it’s really that darkness inside, trying to fuck you over once and for
all. Something has you so scared you’re seeing everything backwards.”
“What is it, then? If you’re so smart, what is it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe Patience can read thoughts like a book, but I sure as hell can’t.
However, I can tell you what the hell
I’m
scared of—being
alone
. Being the very last one of us standing, all because you’re a selfish, stubborn coward.”
“Not fair,” wheezed Locke.
“No, it isn’t. A lot of good people have died to bring you this far. You keep this
shit up and you’ll be seeing them soon. What are you going to tell Calo and Galdo
and Bug? Chains? Nazca?” Jean leaned over and all but whispered his next words down
at Locke. “What are you going to tell the woman I loved? The woman who
burned
so you could have the slightest chance in hell of even being here in the first place?”
All the faint color left in Locke’s face had drained out; he moved his lips but seemed
unable to convince any words to get that far past his throat.
“If I can get up and live with that every gods-damned day, then so can
you
, you son of a bitch.” Jean stepped away from the bed. “I’ll be outside. Make your
choice.”
“Jean … call her back.”
“Are you just humoring me?”
“No. Please. Call Patience back.”
“Are you ashamed?”
“Yes! Yes, how couldn’t I be, you ass?”
“And you’ll do it? Whatever it takes, whatever Patience requires to keep you alive?”
“Get her back in the room. Get her back! By the gods, I need her to fix me so I can
punch your guts into soup.”
“That’s the spirit. Patience!” Jean yelled, turning toward the apartment’s door. “Patience!
Are you—”
“Of course.”
Jean whirled. She was already in the room, standing behind him. “I didn’t say I was
going far,” she said, cutting off his question before it was spoken. “You’ll both
do it?”
“Yes, we’ll—”
“There are going to be some conditions,” interrupted Locke.
“Dammit, Locke,” said Jean.
“Trust me.” Locke coughed and shifted his gaze from Jean to Patience. “First, I want
it clear that our obligation to you begins and ends with this election. That’s our
side of the bargain in full. No hidden surprises. No snake-bite double-dealing Bondsmage
bullshit.”
“I beg your pardon?” said Patience.
“You heard me.” Locke’s voice was still hoarse, but to Jean it seemed infused with
genuine strength. Or anger, which was as good for the time being. “I don’t want one
of you people popping out of my ass five years from now and implying that I’m still
on the hook for having my life spared. I want to hear it from you, right to our faces.
Once this is done, we don’t owe you
shit
.”
“What a high art you’ve made of insolence,” said Patience. “If that’s the game you
feel you have to play, so be it. Service for service and a clean severance, just as
I said.”
“Good. I want another privilege, too.”
“Our side of the bargain is already exceptionally generous.”
“Who do you think you’re haggling with, a fucking pie vendor? If you’d rather lose
your election—”
“State your request.”
“Answers. I want the answer to any question I ask, when I ask, to the best of your
ability. I don’t want you to wave your hands and give me any bullshit about how great
and terrible and incomprehensible everything is.”
“What questions?”
“Anything. Magic, Karthain, yourself, Falconer. Anything that comes to mind. I’m tired
of the gods-damned shadow dance you people call conversation. If I’m going to work
for you, I want you to explain some things.”
Patience considered this for some time.
“I have a private life and a professional life,” she said at last. “I may
be prepared to discuss the latter. If you fail to respect the former, you will earn …
consequences.”
“Good enough.” Locke wiped his mouth on his tunic sleeve, adding new blood to old
stains. “Okay, Jean, do you still want the job?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” said Locke. “I do too. You’ve hired us, Patience. Now do your thing. Get this
shit out of me.”
“I can’t work here,” said Patience. “We’ll need to move, and quickly. A ship is waiting
at the docks to take us across the Amathel; everything I need is on board.”
“All right,” said Jean. “I’ll go out and call a—”
Patience snapped her fingers, and the outer door fell open. A carriage was waiting
on the street outside, its yellow lamps glowing softly in the drizzle, its quartet
of horses standing in silent readiness.
“Aren’t you theatrical as hell,” said Locke.
“We’ve lost enough time taming your pride, Locke. We need every moment we can steal
back if you’re going to survive what comes next.”
“Hold it,” said Jean. “What do you mean, ‘survive what comes next’?”
“It’s partly my fault. I waited to approach you. I should have done it before you
had a chance to start kidnapping physikers. Now Locke’s condition is worse than precarious,
and this would be hard enough for someone in perfect health.”
“But you—”
“Stand down, Jean, it’s the same hard sell we use,” said Locke. “Astonishing promises
first, important disclaimers second. Just get on with it, Patience. Do your worst.
I’m pissed off enough to take any sorcery you can throw at me.”
“Jean must have said something very interesting to shame you into finding your courage
again.” Patience clapped her hands, and two tall men strode in through the front door.
They wore broad-brimmed hats and long black leather coats, and carried a folding litter
between them. “Keep that shame burning if you want to live.”
Patience touched Locke briefly on the forehead, and then she beckoned her coachmen
over to roll him onto the litter. Jean watched
warily but let them handle the work alone, as they seemed steady and careful enough.
“The only thing I can promise with absolute certainty,” said Patience as she watched
this delicate process, “is that what I need to do when we reach the ship will be one
of the worst things that’s ever happened to you.”
“
YOU
’
RE STILL ANGRY
with me,” said Chains.
It wasn’t a question. Locke’s attitude would have been plain to someone with the empathy
of a shithouse brick.
A day had passed since the affair of Sabetha’s “capture,” and while Locke had rapidly
shrugged off the effects of his fall into the garden, he’d been snappish and sullen
since returning to the Temple of Perelandro. He’d flat-out refused to help prepare
dinner or eat it, and after a brief, awkward attempt at a meal Chains had finally
dragged him up to the temple roof.
They sat there now, under the dying aura of Falselight, the hour when every visible
inch of Elderglass in Camorr threw off enough supernatural radiance to bring on a
second sunset. Every bridge and avenue and tower was limned in eerie light, and beneath
the steel-blue sky the city was a dark tapestry knit with ten thousand glowing stitches.
The parapets of the temple’s untended rooftop garden shielded Locke and Chains from
prying eyes. They sat a few paces apart amidst the shards of broken pottery, staring
at one another. Chains was taking
unusually frequent drags on his sheaf of rolled tobacco, the red embers flaring with
each indrawn breath.
“Look at me,” he muttered. “You’ve got me smoking the Anacasti Black. My holiday blend.
Of course you’re still angry with me. You’re about seven years old and your view of
the world is
this wide
.” Chains held up the thumb and the forefinger of his left hand, and the distance
between them was not generous. This, at last, drew Locke out of his silence.
“What happened wasn’t fair!”
“Fair? You mean to claim with a straight face that you buy into that heresy, my boy?”
Chains took a last long puff on his dying cigar and flicked the remnants into the
darkness. “Everyone in Catchfire dropped dead except for you and your fellow wolf
cubs. In Shades’ Hill, you avoided death for at
least
two grandiose mistakes that would have gotten a grown man’s balls peeled like grapes,
and you still want to talk about—”
“No,” said Locke, his look of self-righteous annoyance instantly changing to one of
startled embarrassment, as though he’d been accused of wetting his breeches. “No,
no, I didn’t say
those
things were fair. I know
life’s
not fair. But I thought … I thought … you were.”
“Ah,” said Chains, “well, now. I’ve always thought of myself as fair to a fault. Look,
what are you more upset about, the fact that I lied about what had to happen to Sabetha
or the fact that the contest I rigged wasn’t, ah, as open to improvisation as you
might have wished?”
“I don’t know. Both! All of it!”
“Locke, you may be too young for formal rhetoric, but you’ve got to at least try to
pick your problems apart and explain them piece by piece. Now, here’s another important
question. Are you comfortable at this temple?”