The Girls Who Went Away (52 page)

16.
Diana E. Post, “Adoption in Clinical Psychology: A Review of the Absence, Ramifications, and Recommendations for Change,”
Journal of Social Distress and the Homeless, Special Issue: Adoption
9, no. 4 (2000): 361–72. Post also cites other
researchers who have noted the absence, including J. Terrell and J. Modell, “Anthropology and Adoption,”
American Anthropologist
96 (1994): 155–67; K. Wegar, “Adoption and Mental Health: A Theoretical Critique of the Psychopathological Model,”
American Journal of Orthopsychiatry
65 (1995): 540–48; A. Jones, “Issues Relevant to Therapy with Adoptees,”
Journal of Psychotherapy
34 (1994): 64–68; and I. Altman, “Higher Education and Psychology in the Millennium,”
American Psychologist
51 (1996): 371–78.

17.
Allen Fisher, “Still Not Quite as Good as Having Your Own? Toward a Sociology of Adoption,”
Annual Review of Sociology
29 (2003): 335–61.

18.
Adoptees’ Liberty Movement Association,
http://www.almasociety.org
, The ALMA Society, P.O. Box 85, Denville, NJ 07834.

19.
Concerned United Birthparents,
http://www.cubirthparents.org
, P.O. Box 503475, San Diego, CA 92150. For a history of CUB, see also E. Wayne Carp,
Family Matters: Secrecy and Disclosure in the History of Adoption,
204.

20.
SunflowerFirstMoms-Reunited,
http://groups.yahoo.com/SunflowerFirstMoms-Reunited
, and SunflowerFirstMoms-Searching,
http://groups.yahoo.com/SunflowerFirstMoms-searching/
.

21.
OriginsUSA,
http://www.originsusa.org/
.

22.
First Mothers Reunited,
http://www.firstmothers.net/
.

23.
Empty Arms,
http://www.emptyarms.org/
.

C
HAPTER
9: S
EARCH AND
R
EUNION

1.
For a complete overview of the history of adoption records, see E. Wayne Carp,
Family Matters: Secrecy and Disclosure in the History of Adoption
(Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1998).

2.
American Adoption Congress,
http://www.americanadoptioncongress.org/
.

3.
Bastard Nation,
http://www.bastards.org/
. See Web site for information about birth-certificate access in individual states and legislation currently under consideration, as well as for lists of books and other links related to adoptees’ rights. Bastard Nation, P.O. Box 271672, Houston, TX 77277, 415-704-3166.

4.
National Adoption Clearinghouse, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services,
http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/
. Search: State Statutes, then Post Adoption, “Access to Family Information by Adopted Persons: Summary of State Laws.”

5.
Volunteer Search Network,
http://www.vsn.org
.

6.
Melisha Mitchell et al., “Mutual Consent Voluntary Registries: An Exercise in Patience and Failure,”
Adoptive Families
(January/February 1999). Also online at
http://www.americanadoptioncongress.org/
.

7.
Carp,
Family Matters,
140–41.

8.
The ALMA Society, Inc.,
http://www.almasociety.org/
, or P.O. Box 85, Denville, NJ, 07834. The $50 lifetime membership fee entitles members to a list of support-group coordinators around the country and to enrollment in the registry’s database. Florence Fisher’s book
The Search for Anna Fisher
chronicles the story of Fisher’s search for her daughter and the founding of ALMA.

9.
Statistics as of October 2005, provided by Marri Rillea. The Soundex International Soundex Reunion Registry,
http://www.isrr.net/
, P.O. Box 2312, Carson City, NV, 89702, 775-882-7755.

10.
Statistics as of July 1, 2005, provided by Janice Pitts. The Oregon Registry and a link to obtaining preadoption birth records can be found at
http://oregon.gov/DHS/children/adoption/adopt_registry/registry.shtml
.

11.
New Hampshire, Department of State, Division of Vital Records Administration. Monthly tally of requests online:
http://www.sos.nh.gov/vitalrecords/Preadoption%20birth%20records.html#progress
; see Track the Numbers: Preadoption Stats.

12.
United States Department of Health and Human Services, “U.S. Surgeon General’s Family History Initiative.” Surgeon General Richard Carmona declared Thanksgiving 2004 the first annual National Family History Day and encouraged families to talk about health problems that run in their family when they gather for the holiday. The Web site comes with a computerized downloadable tool to assist individuals in creating a portrait of their family’s health. See
http://www.hhs.gov/familyhistory/
. See also Vice Admiral Richard Carmona and Major Daniel Wattendorf, “Personalizing Prevention: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Family History Initiative,”
American Family Physician
(January 2005).

C
HAPTER
10: T
ALKING AND
L
ISTENING

1.
E-mail response to article “RISD Artist’s Project on Adoptees, Birth Mothers Hits ‘Close to Home,’” by Marion Davis,
Providence Journal,
October 28, 2002, A-1, A-4.

2.
E-mail response to article “The Girls Who ‘Went Away,’” by Bella English,
Boston Globe,
July 28, 2003, B-5, B-10.

3.
E-mail response to radio program,
The Connection,
WBUR Boston and NPR, “The Women Who Went Away,” aired August 5, 2003, hosted by Lyse Doucet.

4.
Anonymous message left in comment book at
Everlasting
exhibition, January–March 2003, Decker Gallery, Maryland Institute College of Art, Baltimore, MD.

5.
E-mail response to Davis article “RISD Artist’s Project on Adoptees, Birth Mothers Hits ‘Close to Home.’”

6.
E-mail response to English article “The Girls Who ‘Went Away.’”

7.
Parliament of Tasmania, Joint Select Committee, 1999. “Adoption and Related Services: 1950–1988,” 10.

8.
Ibid., 13.

9.
Ibid., 11.

10.
Parliament of Tasmania, Joint Select Committee, 1999. “Adoption and Related Services: 1950–1988,” Statement About Adoption by the Australian Association of Social Workers, June 12, 1997, 10.

11.
E-mail response to English article “The Girls Who ‘Went Away.’”

When I first began collecting the oral histories contained herein, writing a book was far from my mind. I had been producing short films, and audio-video installations on the subject of adoption for fifteen years. As a complement to the visual work, I often invited others to write about their experience of adoption and then published or posted their stories in conjunction with the exhibitions. Although the stories written by adoptive parents and adoptees were very moving, those contributed by the mothers who had surrendered children were so powerful that they transformed my understanding of adoption.

I began to tape-record the stories of these mothers in 2002. I initiated the oral-history project because I felt it was imperative that the stories be chronicled before they were lost to history, and that they be preserved in an archive to be available to future generations of sociologists and historians. This preservation is now ensured. The tapes of the interviews will ultimately reside in the Arthur and Elizabeth Schlesinger Library on the History of Women in America at Harvard University alongside the papers of notable
women, including Susan B. Anthony, Amelia Earhart, Betty Friedan, and Emma Goldman. I am grateful to the Schlesinger Library for their commitment to preserving this collection and to Kathryn Allamong Jacob, curator of manuscripts, in particular, for her interest.

I intended the stories not only for an oral-history archive but also for use in audio installations and an independent film that would allow me to bring the voices of the mothers to an audience. The first interviews were made possible as part of an artists’ residency and exhibition at the Maryland Institute College of Art. Curator-in-residence George Ciscle led a team of thirty students and their seven professional mentors in a year-long project that provided the resources and expertise necessary to create the first
Everlasting
exhibition using the recorded voices. I am immensely grateful to George for this opportunity. I know of no finer curator or educator than George Ciscle. It was he who understood the logic and symmetry of creating the first audio work at the college where it all began—where I had met the woman who thought I might be the daughter she surrendered.

In 2003 I was awarded a Radcliffe Fellowship from the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study at Harvard University to expand the oral-history project, conduct research, and produce a new region-specific audio-video installation. I am indebted to the Radcliffe Institute for this fellowship, which provided a year of uninterrupted time and contributed significantly to the development of the book. I am grateful to Judy Vichniac, director of the Fellowship Program, and to Drew Gilpin Faust, dean of the Radcliffe Institute, for the incredibly rich, stimulating, and supportive interdisciplinary environment they have created for the Radcliffe fellows, and to Lindy Hess, publishing consultant, Radcliffe Institute, for her advice and encouragement. I also want to thank the Radcliffe Research Partnership Program and Christine DeLucia for her research assistance. And a special thanks to Karen Walker, who volunteered countless hours and was an invaluable help to me during my fellowship year.

Since the inception of this multifaceted endeavor, many individuals and institutions have provided much-needed assistance. Foremost, I want to thank my home institution, Rhode Island School of Design. Without the support I received through an academic research leave, I could not have participated in the Radcliffe Fellowship Program, or spent the following year
traveling to conduct interviews around the country and writing the book. I would like to thank four individuals in particular: Jay Coogan, acting provost; John Terry, dean of Fine Arts; Michael Schrader, former assistant director of corporate and foundation relations; and Ann Hudner, director of external relations.

I am also indebted to the organizations that provided financial assistance with the transcription costs: the Rhode Island State Council for the Humanities and the Pembroke Center for Teaching and Research on Women.

It was early in my fellowship year at the Radcliffe Institute that the idea of presenting the oral histories in book form first surfaced. I would like to thank Fred Seidel for introducing me to my agent, Andrew Wylie, who was incredibly supportive from the start. At The Penguin Press I have had the pleasure of working with a great team, led by Ann Godoff, president and publisher, and including Tracy Locke, associate publisher; Abigail Cleaves, senior publicist; Darren Haggar, art director; Amanda Dewey, senior designer; and Evan Gaffney, who designed the jacket. My editor, Emily Loose, has been an absolute joy to work with. Emily’s sensitivity to the material and her expertise and intelligence as an editor have focused my ramblings and expanded my thinking.

All artists and writers who delve deeply into a project, neglecting all else in the process, know that it is a nearly impossible task without the generosity and encouragement of one’s partner. I am grateful every day to have such a partner in my husband, Peter Andersen, who has given up a tremendous amount of the little free time he has to help with this project. His feedback, support, and love keep me afloat.

Lastly, my deepest gratitude is reserved for the women who were willing to share their life stories and who trusted me with their most intimate thoughts and experiences. My chief regret is that I could not include passages from the story of every woman I interviewed. The most painful part of writing this book was the requisite editing out of equally compelling stories. Thank you Ann, Anne, Annie, Barbara, Becky, Bette, Bonnie, Carol, Carol, Carole, Carole, Carolyn, Carolyn, Cathy, Cathy, Charlene, Charlenea, Charlotte, Christine, Claudia, Connie, Connie, Connie, Deborah, Debra, Denise, Diane, Diane, Diane, Diane, Dorothy, Dorothy, Edith, Gale, Gloria, Glory, Helen, Hilary, Jane, Janet, Jeannette, Jennifer, Jill, Joan, Joanna, Jonette, Joyce, Joyce, Judith,
Judith, Judith, Judith, Karen, Karen, Kathi, Kathleen, Laurie, Laurinda, Leigh, Leslie, Linda, Linda, Linda, Lydia, Lynne, Madeline, Maggie, Margaret, Marge, Marjorie, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, MaryAnn, Maureen, Maureen, Nancy, Nancy, Nancy, Nellie, Pam, Pamela, Pamela, Pollie, Rachael, Renee, Ronnie, Rose, Ruth, Sandy, Sandy, Serena, Sheila, Shelley, Sheryl, Sue, Susan, Susan, Susan, Susan, Suzanne, Toni, Wendy, and Yvonne. Your generosity astounds me. I only hope that I have done justice to your stories.

abandonment:

of child, 11, 291

mother’s feelings of, 7, 18, 78, 138, 157, 162

abortion:

counseling after, 296

illegal, 44, 56, 110

legalization of, 7

trauma of, 53

abstinence, 37, 38, 44–45

Adopted Break Silence, The
(Paton), 250

adoptees:

birth certificates of, 4, 248–49, 258

conflicting loyalties of, 63, 263, 264, 320

family histories for, 316

feelings of being unwanted, 11, 291

finding their mothers, 51–52, 63, 95, 124–25, 130, 241–42, 248, 252, 253–54, 263, 267–68, 292, 306, 307–8, 314, 320–28;
see also
reunion

and medical issues, 130, 259–60, 263, 304, 317

nonidentifying information given to, 64, 249

pictures of, 130, 212, 269

reluctant to meet, 259, 283

Adoptees’ Liberty Movement Association (ALMA), 193, 225, 251

adoption:

building social acceptance of, 183–85

by celebrity couples, 183

in child’s best interest, 128, 148, 149, 171, 188, 198, 211, 244, 299

emotional consequences of, 205, 208

as feeling like amputation, 283