The Good Girl (21 page)

My stomach rolled and I emptied the contents of my stomach onto the floor of the cage. It had been a while since I’d felt this sick and I wondered if it has something to do with my constant worry; the worry of what he was going to do to me next. The worry of when he would finally lose his sanity enough to go through with his plan to kill me.

The voices came to life as I sat on the floor and began to cry; something I did daily since being stuck in my cage. The regrets of my life were just too overwhelming to push away anymore. All the wasted opportunities, all the things I fucked up and the people I’d taken advantage of. He made me open my eyes and realize everything I’d done was wrong. He made me want to change; and because of that, I would never be able to bring myself to hate him.

I should have wished for him to rot in hell. I should have hated him with my entire being. But we all know I was just as fucked up as he was deep down. I wanted to love him – I wanted to fix him. Even though that would always be impossible.

Chapter Thirty-Six

~Gabriel~

Thirty-one days. Thirty-one days that I’d taken her out of that cage. Thirty-one days that I’ve attempted to end her – to finally destroy the filth that continued to exist inside her. It was a constant reminder of the demons that stole my sanity and replaced it with delusions.

Each day I removed her I cared for her first; as if bathing her or feeding her or dressing her up would alleviate the pain she would endure in the end. She apologized each day, walking behind me – willing and able to die by my hand. I’d finally convinced her that she had to die, that it was the only way to make up for the loss of my parents’ lives – and for my aunt’s life as well. Her parents didn’t cause that, but her addiction did. If she dies, her addiction dies with her, and I would have completed the task that I was kept on this world to do. It was the only reason I was alive, I was sure of that – and since I’d discovered my purpose, I hadn’t been as haunted as I was before.

But a funny thing would happen when she was finally dolled up - when her bright eyes would look up at me and when her beautifully full lips would speak the apology I knew that I’d hear each day. She whispered – she whispered her fucking words and I heard them at night when I slept. They comforted me when I should have hated them. I fell asleep with her voice ringing in my ears.

‘I’m sorry, Gabriel – you don’t deserve this pain. You’re right, I am like them – and if it wasn’t for you, I would have never known it.’

I wondered if she knew that those words were what saved her each day. Instead of placing her neck in the noose I’d prepared, or dragging the blade across her wrists, my lips found those that spoke such beautiful words and my body came alive, craving her touch, exhilarating in the feel of her hands on my skin. I’d never allowed another soul to touch me besides the numerous doctors and nurses that had no choice. Even then, I would grit my teeth. I hated to see the sad looks on their faces when they realized I would never be normal – never be like everybody else.

I used to feel sorry for myself, but I realized that the scars were a reminder – a painful sign that would eventually lead me to my ultimate fate. I didn’t exist before Eleni and I wouldn’t exist after her – but for the time, and in the days that we had together – I’d been allowed to know what it was like to love another person, to allow someone to touch me without hatred overtaking me. She didn’t appear sad when she looked at me. She told me I was beautiful – that she wanted me. And I was too selfish to let that go. I couldn’t watch her die while I went on living. I couldn’t exist in a world without Eleni.

So on the thirty-first day, I decided that we would die together. I’d chosen her favorite poison and I’d added mine. It would be the same pattern: I’d remove her from her cage, I’d bathe her and dress her – only to remove those clothes once again to fuck her until neither of us could barely move.  However, when we sat down to eat dinner again, I’d serve her a meal worthy of a person’s last – her favorites I’d heard about in her many posts. When she was full, I’d take her out into the living room and with beautiful music playing, with a fire burning in the large fireplace, I’d tell her goodbye for the final time.

She lived for alcohol and now it would be the thing to kill her. I’d drink as well – despite my hatred of the substance, I would drink so that I could die beside her. It was a fitting ending for us both and the world could return to normal for everyone we’d known, everyone we’d hurt – and for everyone we’d ever loved.

I didn’t want violence in the end – I wanted peace.

I wouldn’t lie to her either.

She’d know what was in that glass and I’d know that she’d drink it; because when she tells me that she’s sorry –she means it.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

~ Eleni ~

The days bled together in a relentless reminder that Gabriel had kept me captive here for nearly six weeks. The only reason I even knew it was because of his constant reminder. His words while we went through our everyday routine. He granted me my minimal freedom when he woke - it was like clockwork. If I didn’t know better, I would say he needed me in his daily routine, which was another reason he had yet to take my life.

But today, today was different. The morning brought me a realization that I’d never thought I would come to; a realization that should have been a nightmare. I knew it is my ticket to freedom, whether he granted it or not.

This dizziness. The throwing up. The fatigue. It all fucking made sense, because my period was missing in fucking action. While being held captive, two shitty things had happened… I’d stopped taking my birth control, and I became pregnant by a schizophrenic sociopath. It was like I’d won the fucking lottery.

All the days he’d emptied inside of me, I’d relished in the pleasure of our lust. I never once thought it would come to this; because, in the past, I’d never had to worry about it. Between the alcohol I pumped into my body and my somewhat caution for safe sex, pregnancy was never a thought.

But now, it was here and I didn’t even need one of those fuckin’ piece of shit dollar store tests to tell me what I already knew.

His footsteps startled me and I knew he was going to be coming for me; walking down the stairs to free me from this cage and tenderly care for me. The days never changed. It was like living life on repeat: bathing, feeding, then the one thing that kept him calm - that lulled the beast deep within him. Lovemaking.

And what we did was best described as lovemaking. There was a certain tenderness to his touch that was never there before. Something had changed, but I dared not bring it up for the fear of my safety; and now, for the safety of the small life growing inside me. The life I had to care for and watch over like my own parents never did for me. I had to protect it at whatever cost.

The cage opened and Gabriel stood there with a hint of a smile. His mood was far more bright than most days.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Gabriel said, as he pressed a kiss against my forehead. “Time for your bath.”

I forced myself to relax my body. I didn’t want him to know there was anything different from when he left me last night. My behavior would be the only thing that could save us. I just hoped that I’d become a good enough actress around him so that I could fool him into believing that nothing was bothering me; all while the weight of the world rested on my shoulders.

He bathed me without incident, just like every morning; treating me like I was made out of porcelain. Over breakfast, we chitchatted about bullshit; mostly art, because we had come to learn this was a common love for us both. I couldn’t help but watch him with pity and regret knowing in the back of my mind what I’d planned for him. I didn’t want to leave him because, as fucked up as it may sound, I’d grown to love him in a way I’d never loved another person. But, the relationship was toxic. Everything about our love and the environment where we existed was doomed. There was no happy here, as much as we would both fool ourselves into believing if given the option.

“Come with me, Eleni.” He reached out for me and I gave him my hand without a second thought. He quickly guided me back to the bedroom I called my own when he’d first kidnapped me. The bedroom I’d called a home for only a short period of time. Because I’d acted out initially, he’d decided that I was nothing more than an animal that deserved a cage.

“Today is a special day for us, Eleni.” He paused and nudged my chin up. Our eyes locked and I could see the hint of sadness lingering inside of him. “Today is our last day together. This is the end.” His arms wrapped around my body and he lifted me onto the bed.

“We’re going to share this bed one last time. I’m going to show you how much I have grown to care for you; the way I’ve never cared for another person. With dinner we’ll drink your favorite poison and drift off into our eternity together.”

I pretended not to be stunned by everything he was telling me. I pretended not to be scared shitless because this man had every intention of killing himself and me over dinner; like it was just a stroll in the park or a romantic date for two.

He’d lost it and there was no bringing him back. I could tell because of the eerie calm I sensed within him. His fingers began to pull at the clothing he dressed me in after my bath. One button at a time, he started at the top and it took everything in me not to flinch when his hand grazed my belly.

People say a mother can lift a car when her child is pinned beneath it; this freakish ‘mother strength’ that she would use to do anything to protect her child. The strength - that new drug - coursed through my veins as he continued to touch me. It was my need to protect this child, my need to free myself from this nightmare, my need to break free at whatever cost.

I had no other choices. It was the end of our harrowing road.

I would fight back finally, and if I didn’t, he would not only kill me, but he would murder the child we’d created from this fucked up relationship.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

~ Gabriel ~

Stripping her of the red dress I’d chosen for her today, my body reacted with a feral need that I’d never felt for another woman I’d touched. Sliding back the sheets and comforter, I watched her crawl onto the mattress to sit on her knees with her eyes looking up at me. It was something I’d never seen in the women I’d pressed up against some dirty alley wall where the shadows could hide my scars and my hatred. I never wanted any of them, but my cock would still swell and the minutes it took for me to bring myself to climax seemed to alleviate the loneliness just enough to allow me to function for another day.

They were so easy – and, in the end, so was Eleni. The spirit she held inside her was like magic. It wrapped itself around my mine, sinking deep into my skin, my brain, and my very blood – making her nothing more than a drug that I could no longer live without.

She reached up for me as I knelt down on the bed and, for once in my fucking life, I didn’t flinch when her palms ran over the skin of my chest and shoulders. I thought I’d never need contact with another human being, but the warmth I’d felt from her kept drawing me back for more. I thought of her every moment that I was awake and I dreamt of her every night. I wondered why life would be so cruel as to force me to destroy the one thing I had that could bring me to my knees.

But that was life – and that was why I was here – and I didn’t want to leave this world without completing the one thing I was meant to do.

Her lips ran along my jaw – her tongue peeking out every so often, tickling the skin and setting every nerve inside of me on fire. My cock swelled to a point of pain and I moved quickly to release myself of the pants that kept me from burying myself inside her. We moved like we were made for each other – like we were two halves of a single person.

I took things slow – pushing myself inside her and watching her mouth drop open as her cunt expanded to fit perfectly around me. Once I was planted deep inside, I paused – my mind basking in the moment that would be our last time together. She whispered to me at first – her words breathless with the sensation of two halves finally together. I was breathless as well and, instead of responding to what she had to say, I pulled back out just to drive myself inside once again. My hands smoothed down her torso until they rested on the outside of her hips. I lifted her up, my need overtaking my desire to go slow for our final time.

She didn’t seem to mind. The harder I could give it to her, the louder she would scream for more. I allowed the tips of my fingers to press against the sensitive skin and I granted her the small bits of pain that I know would cause her to come over me. Her body arched and my lips found the tips of her breasts, my tongue rolling over the swollen skin just before my teeth clamped down to graze across.

Her hands gripped my hair and her body shook beneath me. Eventually, I joined her in the peak that sent us crashing into a state of euphoria – lost within each other – before sadness set in again.

This was the end, the final moment of happiness that I’d have on this Earth.

We lay together on the bed silently, our hearts slowing down and our lungs finally able to take full breaths again. Her stomach growled and I chuckled above her.

“Are you hungry?”

Lazily she smiled and nodded ‘yes’. I returned the gesture while pushing myself up off the mattress, grabbing my pants and dressing myself before pulling her up to do the same for her. I glanced at her expression and I could see in her eyes that she knew we’d never find ourselves like this again. I offered her my hand and she took it without hesitation, eventually following behind me for the final meal.

Leading her into the kitchen, I sat her down at the small dinette. In the center, I’d adorned it with black candles and red roses I’d bought specifically for her. They matched her dress and I couldn’t help but admire the beauty that sat before me. She shined brighter now that the affects of the alcohol no longer plagued her system. It was almost as if she was glowing – radiant and strong – ready to give her life in order to erase the demons that haunted us both from the world.