The Graduate (14 page)

“People are still staring at us,” she said quietly.

He tried to kiss her again but she turned her head.

“I don’t want to do this in the public view,” she said.

“We’ll go to the car.”

“Can we get something to eat?” she said.

He took her hand and led her down the sidewalk and into a restaurant.

They were shown a table in the rear. As soon as they were seated Benjamin reached across the table and took her hand again.

“Elaine,” he said.

“What.”

“Are you all right now.”

“Yes.”

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“And can you try and understand that I’m not like that. Like I was earlier.”

She nodded.

“You can understand that.”

“Here’s the waitress.”

A waitress had appeared beside their table with her pad of paper and pencil.

“What do you want,” Benjamin said.

“A hamburger.”

“Right,” Benjamin said to the waitress. “Two.” The waitress wrote down the order and walked away from the table. Benjamin looked back at Elaine. For a long time he sat looking at her, then he began shaking his head.

“Elaine?” he said. “I just—I just wish you could see that I’m not like that. That’s not the way I am at all.”

“Well, are you sick or what,” she said.

“Sick?”

“I mean why are you in such a poor mood.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “It’s this whole frame of mind I’ve been in ever since I graduated.”

Elaine put her napkin down into her lap. They sat quietly until the waitress brought their food and set it in front of them. Benjamin picked up his hamburger, but immediately put it down. “I’ve had this feeling,”

he said. “Ever since I’ve been out of school I’ve had this overwhelming urge to be rude all the time.”

Elaine picked up her hamburger. “Why don’t you go back to school then,” she said.

“I’d flunk out,” Benjamin said.

Elaine began to eat her hamburger. Benjamin picked his up and raised it to his mouth, but then set it down on the plate again. “And I just feel badly,” he said. “And I want to apologize to you. Because I’m not thatway.”

She nodded.

Benjamin looked down at the hamburger on his plate, then picked it up and raised it to his mouth.

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It was not till after midnight that they finally drove up in front of the Robinsons’ house and parked. For several moments they sat quietly beside each other in the car. Then Elaine turned her head toward him and smiled. “Would you like to come in?” she said. “I’ll fix you a drink.

Or some coffee.”

Benjamin shook his head. “Actually,” he said, “I’m not too thirsty.”

Elaine nodded and again it was quiet. “Well,” she said finally, “maybe I’d better go in now.”

Benjamin took her hand. Then she turned to look at him and he brought her head forward and kissed her.

“Benjamin?” she said quietly when he was through.

“What, Elaine.”

“Wouldn’t the house be more comfortable?”

“Well I don’t—I mean I wouldn’t want to wake anyone up.”

“We won’t,” she said, reaching for the handle of the door.

“Let’s go inside.”

“Wait a minute,” Benjamin said. He took her hand and pulled it back. “I mean why do you want to go inside.”

“Because I think it would be more comfortable.”

“Well, isn’t the car comfortable?”

Elaine frowned at him. “Is anything wrong?” she said.

“What?”

“Why don’t you want to go in the house.”

“Oh,” Benjamin said. “Well I was—I was thinking maybe we could do something else. Go somewhere.”

“All right.”

Benjamin started the engine of his car.

“Where are we going,” Elaine said.

“A bar. I’m trying to think of a bar around here.”

“Isn’t there one in the Taft Hotel?” Elaine said.

Benjamin looked at her.

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“Isn’t there?” she said.

“I can’t—I can’t remember.”

“Let’s go there,” she said.

“The Taft?”

She nodded.

“Well wait a minute,” he said, beginning to shake his head. “I mean isn’t that pretty far?”

“It’s only a mile,” she said.

“A mile,” Benjamin said. “But there might not be a bar.”

“Let’s go see.”

“But Elaine,” he said, “I mean why did you—why did you say the Taft.”

She turned in her seat to look at him again. “What is the matter,”

she said.

“Well nothing,” he said. “I’m just—I’m just wondering if they have a bar or not. I mean let’s go see. Let’s go see if they do or not.”

They walked in through the door of the Verandah Room and Elaine chose the table in the corner by the window. Benjamin helped her off with her coat and they sat. Elaine looked out the window at the grounds for a few moments, then turned back to Benjamin. “I have the feeling I’ve been here before,” she said. “Don’t they have a ballroom here?”

“I don’t know.”

“I think they do,” she said. “I think I came to a party here once.”

Benjamin nodded without looking at her. Elaine opened her mouth to say something more, then suddenly began frowning toward the entrance of the bar. She leaned forward and rested her hand on one of Benjamin’s sleeves. “There’s a man over there that keeps staring at us,” she said.

Benjamin shook his head.

“One of the elevator operators,” she said. “He stared at us when we came in and he still is.”

“Elaine, let’s go.”

“Look,” she said. “There’s two of them. They’re talking about us.”

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“Elaine—”

“They’re just standing in the doorway staring at us and talking together. One of them pointed at us.”

Suddenly a waitress placed two drinks in front of them, then disappeared. Elaine looked up and frowned after her. “What’s happening,” she said.

Benjamin cleared his throat.

“Benjamin?”

“Elaine, let’s go now.”

“Why did she bring us these drinks.”

“I ordered as we came in the door.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Just drink it, please.”

“What?”

“Just drink your drink, please.”

“But she made a mistake.”

Benjamin shook his head. “She didn’t,” he said. “I ordered as we came in the door.”

“You did not.”

“Elaine, I did,” he said. “I said it to her quietly as we passed her.”

“Why are you saying that.”

“Because I did!” Benjamin said.

“You didn’t.”

“Will you please drink it!”

She looked down at the drink on the table in front of her. “This isn’t what I wanted,” she said.

“Goddammit!” Benjamin said. He reached across the table for the drink, which was a martini, and drank it quickly.

“Benjamin, what is happening.”

“Nothing.”

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“Well something is,” she said. “What is it.”

“I just don’t like this place,” Benjamin said.

“Why not.”

“Because I don’t.”

“Well why did you lie to me about ordering the drinks.”

“I didn’t.”

“Then why are you so upset.”

“Let’s get out!” Benjamin said. he stood suddenly, jarring the table with his knees, and took Elaine’s coat off the empty chair at the side of the table. He dug into his pocket for some money to drop on the table, then reached for Elaine’s hand. “Come on, come on.”

He hurried ahead of her out of the Verandah Room and into the lobby.

One of the clerks stopped when he saw him and smiled. “Good evening, Mr. Gladstone,” he said. Benjamin rushed past him.

“Benjamin?” Elaine said.

“Come on!” He pulled her toward the entrance of the hotel.

“Benjamin? Do they know you here or something?”

They walked out across the pavilion in front of the hotel and to the parking lot. Benjamin opened the door of his car for her and pushed the coat into her hands. “Please get in,” he said.

“But Benjamin?”

“Goddammit, will you get in this car, Elaine!”

She got into the car. Benjamin closed the door after her and walked around to the other side. As soon as he was inside and the door was closed he put his hands up over his face. For a long time he sat shaking his head with his hands covering his eyes. “Elaine?” he said finally. “I like you. I like you so much.”

She watched him but didn’t answer.

“Do you believe that, Elaine?”

She nodded.

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

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“You’re the first—you’re the first thing for so long that I’ve actually liked. The first person I could actually stand to be with.”

She reached up and took one of his hands down from his face.

“I mean my whole life is such a waste. It’s just nothing, Elaine.” He waited-a moment longer, then pulled his hand away from her and shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said, reaching into his pocket for the keys of his car. “I’ll take you home.”

She watched him fit the key into the ignition switch and turn on the engine. “Benjamin?” she said.

“What, Elaine.”

“Are you having an affair with someone?”

Benjamin stared at his hand on the key.

Elaine shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said.

“Elaine?”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “It’s not my business.”

Benjamin slowly turned the key and the engine stopped. He sat staring at his hand for several moments, then looked up slowly and out the windshield of his car. “It just happened,” he said.

“It was just this shabby thing that happened along with everything else.” He looked at her. “Can you understand that? Can you understand that, Elaine?”

She nodded.

“But what do you think of me now.”

“What?”

“Do you think anything of me now?”

She nodded.

“But what do you think.”

Elaine shrugged. “I think you had an affair with someone,” she said.

“What else am I supposed to think.”

“But don’t you despise me?”

She frowned at him.

“Don’t you?”

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She took his hand again. “Benjamin?” she said, her eyes on his hand.

“Was she married or something?”

He nodded.

“With a family?”

“A son. She had a husband and a son.”

“Well, did they ever find out?”

“No.”

“And it’s all over now?”

“Yes.”

Elaine shook her head. “Why should I despise you,” she said.

“But Elaine,” he said, turning to look at her. “I mean what if—what if it was someone you knew. How would you feel then.”

“I don’t know,” she said.

“Would you hate me then?”

“I don’t think so,” she said. “Was it?”

“What?”

“Is it someone I know?”

“No.”

“Just a woman you met in a bar?”

Benjamin nodded.

“Well, was she bored and lonely and everything?”

“She was.”

“Then I suppose you relieved the boredom,” Elaine said. “I mean I don’t think it’s my business. I’m sorry I found out.”

“You are?”

“Well it seems to upset you that I did.”

“Elaine, it doesn’t upset me,” he said. “But would you—would you go out with me again if I asked you? After knowing about it?”

“I think so.”

“Well then, can I ask you out?”

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“If you want.”

“Tomorrow? Can we do something tomorrow?”

“All right,” she said.

“During the day,” Benjamin said. “We’ll go for a drive or something during the day then.”

She nodded.

“And you’re sure you really want to. I wouldn’t want you to do it unless you really wanted to.”

“I do,” she said.

“You do.”

“Benjamin, I really do,” she said.

In the morning the sky was a bright blue and there was not a single cloud. On the Robinsons’ street the only sound was of a power lawnmower being pushed back and forth across the Robinsons’ front yard by a gardener. Benjamin parked his car, got out and walked quickly across the lawn to the door. He knocked and waited. Several moments later the door was opened by Mrs. Robinson. She was wearing a green housecoat. Benjamin stood looking at her, glanced over her shoulder into the house, then looked back at her face.

“Elaine and I are going for a drive today,” he said.

Mrs. Robinson stepped out onto the front porch and pulled the door shut behind her. “Shall we talk in your car?” she said. “I’d rather not talk in the house.”

“Well I’m not really sure there’s anything to—”

“Elaine is still asleep,” Mrs. Robinson slid her hands into the pockets of her housecoat. She stepped down from the porch and began walking across the lawn toward Benjamin’s car, nodding at the gardener as she passed him. She reached the car and got in.

Benjamin stood watching her as the closed the door after her and folded her arms across her chest. Finally he shook his head and walked past the gardener to the side of his car.

“Mrs. Robinson?”

“Get in, Benjamin,” she said without looking at him.

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“I really don’t think there’s much to say, Mrs. Robinson.”

“Get in this car.”

Benjamin waited a few moments longer, then walked around to get in under the steering wheel.

“Drive down the block,” she said, pointing ahead of them through the window.

Benjamin started the engine. “Mrs. Robinson,” he said, “I hope you won’t be offended if I say I think you’re being a little melodramatic about this. I don’t think there’s any great crisis that calls for—”

“Drive several houses down and park.”

Benjamin released the emergency brake and drove slowly along the curb until he was several houses away. Then he stopped the car and turned off the engine and sat back in his seat. For several moments it was perfectly quiet except for the noise of the lawnmower behind them.

“Benjamin, I’m sorry it’s come to this,” Mrs. Robinson said finally.

Benjamin nodded.

“But I’m telling you never to see her again.”

He nodded a second time.

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes you do.”

“I’m glad,” Mrs. Robinson said. “Why don’t we consider the matter closed then.”