The Guardian of My Soul (Soul's Desire) (14 page)

“They’re just books.” He shrugged.

“No, they’re not. Come on, you can tell me.” I encouraged him.

Visibly undecided, he seemed to think twice before answering me. “I graduated Law School in San Francisco right before I came here,” he said nonchalantly, as if he were telling me about something trivial.

My mouth dropped open, but I quickly closed it back, clenching my jaw.

“You look surprised.”

“Why...why didn’t you tell me when I asked you if you went to college?” I blinked, feeling guilty for thinking he was uneducated.

“What for? You had already formed your opinion of me.”

“Alec, I’m sorry.” I flushed.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. Don’t worry about it.”

I gripped my lower lip between my teeth nervously. “So you’re a lawyer...”

“Not yet. I still have to pass the bar and I’m working on my MBA too, which is why I took this job. Dad offered to pay for my studies, but obviously I refused his help. He was absent from my life for so long. I can’t accept anything from him now that I’m fully capable of taking care of myself. I just regret he wasn’t there for me when I was a kid and needed him.” He frowned. “Then he told me about your birthday party and that your mom would pay me if I came to help. It was supposed to be a one night thing. But it looks like I’m still here.”

I swallowed hard. “For how long?” My voice shook, tears rising up inside me.
Why the hell do I feel the need to cry?

He shrugged again. “I don’t know.”

I could feel my blood drain from my face. “Are you going back to San Francisco?”

“That was the initial plan.”

“Was?” I asked, hopeful. “What made you change your mind?”

“Well, after the party your mom came and asked me to stay and be your bodyguard because of those cards. I needed the money, so...”

“Is that the only reason?”

“Yeah...”

I bent my head down and stared at the ground. Leaning against his desk, my fingers clutched the edge to steady myself.

“Hey...” He got up and approached me, his hands resting on my hips.

I looked up at him and his naughty smile told me the money wasn’t the only reason why he decided to stay. “Don’t play with me...” I murmured low, reaching up to run my hands over his shoulders. I loved the feel of the strong, firm flesh beneath my fingers.

He chuckled and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead, making me want more.

“What happens once you gather all the money you need for your studies? You’re going to leave? I remember you said you didn’t want to be a bodyguard forever,” I barely whispered.

“Don’t worry about that right now, okay? I still have a long way on my studies and I haven’t decided anything yet. Things have changed since I arrived here.”

“What things?”

“For starters, you like me now. At first you wouldn’t even bother to speak to me...now you kiss me.”

I blushed, his words making me feel awkward.

“Let’s say it’s easier to work with you now.”

I pouted, but he promptly reached down and captured my lips between his.

He stroked my bottom lip with a teasing stroke, then sank his teeth in it and tugged gently. My heart was beating faster than ever, a pounding in my breast, while I tangled my fingers in his still damp hair.

My knees buckled and a soft moan escaped from my throat as I reveled in the feel of his arms around my body, my breasts flush against his chest. I felt my nipples swell through the thin fabric of my T-shirt, and I thought he could feel them too as he released a sexy groan. Suddenly I was dying for him to take it off and touch my bare flesh, but I didn’t dare ask.

The disturbing sound of his cell phone ringing at the most inopportune time exasperated me beyond belief. I felt like throwing it out the window.

He pulled back reluctantly and I handed him the cell phone from his desk. Cold shivering seized my body when I spotted the name Jenna on the screen. To my surprise, he rejected the call and tossed the device on his bed.

“You’re not gonna answer her?”

He regarded me shrewdly and then shook his head. “I’ll talk to her later...”

“Who’s Jenna?” I asked, unable to help myself.

“A friend...”

“Is she a friend or your girlfriend?”

“She’s a friend.”

I nodded and headed to the door. “I’d better go before they return home and come looking for you.”

“Are you all right?” he asked, following me.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You suddenly wanna leave...”

“I don’t want to keep you. You probably have other things to do. Guess I’ll see you later,” I said before sneaking out and retreating to my room. I crawled in bed, feeling uneasy. I found it impossible not to think of her or wonder who she really was. My heart ached as I began to have some doubts on whether I could trust him or not. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, but I refused to cry.
He wouldn’t dare play with my feelings, would he?
I stifled a sob that had lain in ambush in my throat. Soon I drifted into a restless sleep.

*  *  *

I loved the afternoon sun and how it shone on my face while I rested motionless by the pool. The sound of stiletto heels clacking on the pavement broke the silence of approaching twilight. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and saw Mom walking toward me, flashing a broad smile.

“I’m glad you decided to leave your room,” she said. “How was your day?”

“Boring. And yours?”

“Oh, I had fun planning everything for this Saturday’s show. Maybe I should have taken you with me.”

“Nah. I wanted to enjoy my last day of freedom.”

“Hey, I’m not going to enslave you,” she replied in a playful tone.

I pouted. “Mom...did you know that Alec studied law?”

“Yes, I did.” She blinked, visibly surprised I’d brought it up.

“Oh...why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d be interested. You get upset whenever you hear his name.”

I fell silent, suffocated by this overpowering uncertainty.

“What’s wrong, Kristen?”

“He took this job to gather money for his studies?”

“Yes, that’s true. He said he wants to work on his MBA.”

“So he’s going to leave?”

“Probably, at some point. Why? You really want to get rid of him so much?”

My mouth went dry and my eyes widened in alarm. “I...I was just curious.”

“How do you know all these things anyway?”

“He told me.”

She smiled unexpectedly. “So you finally started communicating? That’s great! See? He’s not that bad.”

“You think so?”

“Yes, he’s a nice guy.”

“What makes you so sure, Mom?”

“Well, Ryan assured me I can trust his son and he’s given me no reason to doubt him thus far. He’s obedient and polite and well qualified for the job. I like the young man.”

Hope blossomed inside of me when I heard her words.
Maybe there’s a slight chance she might accept him.
I sighed.
Who am I kidding? As soon as she finds out about this, she’ll throw him out the door.
My fingers twined through my hair as I debated my options.
Should I end this before anyone gets hurt or should I risk it all and suffer the consequences later? And who the hell is Jenna?

“You seem distracted,” she murmured, bringing me back to reality. “You’re making me nervous, Kristen. Look...if you need more time off, you don’t have to start work tomorrow. Just pull yourself together. I need you to be okay and happy. Whatever is bothering you, please talk to me and we’ll make it through together.”

“I’ll start tomorrow, like we discussed. Do I get my own office?”

She grinned. “Of course! And it’s right next to mine.”

“Jeez, I’ll get to see your face all day long,” I complained playfully.

She laughed. “Yep. You can’t get rid of me, Missy. Come on, cheer up. It will be fun working together. I promise.”

“I sure hope so, Mother.” I wondered if this was the right time to bring up my passion about jewelry since she was in such a good mood, but I had bigger concerns at the moment. I stood up and prepared myself to jump into the pool. “Wait! When did you say Paola was coming?”

“Um, she’ll be here tomorrow evening.”

“Great. She’ll expect me to take her everywhere and act like a damn tour guide.”

“I can have Alec take her while we’re at work. Just be nice. She won’t stay forever.”

My eyes must have bugged out, because I was not amused. “I’m sure she can go out on her own. After all, she’s nineteen. She can take care of herself.”

“We can’t risk anything. If she gets in trouble her parents will blame us for not taking good care of her. But let’s not turn this into a drama. I’ll let you enjoy your swim.” She kissed my cheek and walked away.

I slumped my shoulders and stared at the crystal clear water, but no longer felt like swimming. I sensed a knot of tension in my stomach which just wouldn’t go away. My pulse was throbbing in my head, my mouth was dry and my body refused to cooperate. It didn’t take me long before I realized that slowly but surely I’d become a prisoner of my own heart and its heated desires.

*  *  *

Fatigued by all my worries I went to bed early that night, but only managed to fall asleep around midnight. A jostle caused me to snap fully awake with a start and peer into the darkness.

“Fred...” I complained breathless, watching him settle in my arms.

“Kristen...” Alec murmured from the armchair in the corner, startling me, and I stuck my hand to my mouth to stifle the impulse to scream.

CHAPTER NINE

Alec’s unexpected visit in the middle of the night left me gasping for air as I stared at him astounded, too shocked to respond in any way.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he whispered and came to sit down on the edge of the bed.

“What are you doing here?” I asked hoarsely, turning the bedside lamp on. My heart was racing at full speed despite my efforts to calm down.

He reached out for my hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss my palm. “After that phone call you ignored me all day. I...I couldn’t stand the fact you went to bed upset with me,” he confessed.

“Alec—”

“Jenna was my girlfriend,” he blurted out. “We decided to take a break when I came here. I haven’t seen her since.”

I swallowed dryly. “What does that mean, Alec? Are you together or not?”

“Not at the moment.”

“Do you want her back?” I asked fearful.

He shook his head, pressing my hand against his cheek. “Our relationship was strained even before I left.”

“Did you love her?” I managed to ask, distracted by the warmth of his cheek against my trembling hand.

“In a way. But not enough...”

I ran my free hand through my hair, pushing it away from my face. “What do you plan to do now?” I failed at hiding the worry from my quivering voice.

“I talked to her on the phone after you left my room. I told her I’d decided to stay for an indefinite period of time and that she shouldn’t wait for me. I think she understood in the end.”

I withdrew my hand from his gentle grip and scooted to the middle of the bed to make room for him to settle next to me.

He didn’t think twice and accepted my unspoken invitation, leaning his back against the headboard, his eyes locked on me.

“How long have you been together?”

“A couple of years, give or take.”

“It sounds like a serious relationship to me. Two years is a long time.”

“Does it matter how long it was if it’s not working anymore?”

“I don’t want to meddle, Alec. Nor question you or your decisions. I have no right to do that.”

“It’s okay, you can ask if you want.”

“I’d rather not know,” I murmured sheepishly. “I’m just trying to avoid getting hurt. Ian upset me enough and I don’t want to go through another situation like that.”

“You think I’m going to hurt you?”

“I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s hard for me to confide in men. With you everything evolved so fast, I have no idea what the hell we’re doing. I want to stay away, but I can’t and it scares me.” I looked away, fighting to maintain my self control.

“I know the feeling,” he said, grabbing my chin and turning my head toward him.

“You’re scared too?” I whispered low and soft.

“A little...” he admitted. “But not of your mother.”

“Then?” I prompted.

A sad expression came into his eyes. It caused me to shiver. He blinked several times, as if trying to decide whether to tell me or not. His eyes glistened with unshed tears in the dim light and I panicked.

“Alec, what’s wrong?” I murmured, running my hand across his chest to comfort him.

“Loss...loss is what scares me the most,” he answered desolately.

My lips parted as I released the breath I was holding. I couldn’t even imagine what must have happened to him to make him feel the same way I did. My arms wrapped around his neck in an instant and coaxed him closer, letting him rest on my chest, my cheek leaning against his soft hair.

“It’s my biggest fear also,” I confessed. “Mom was a wreck after Dad died and I swore to myself I’d never allow anybody so close to me for fear I could lose that person one day. And it worked...for many years I managed not to get too attached to the men I hung out with. Until now...”

Unexpectedly, his lips pressed against the skin covering my heart. I could feel the adrenalin building up and my pulse rate increasing. My breathing sped up and my heart palpitated like an iron gong against my ribs. Hot tears burned my exposed skin and I shuddered violently when I realized he was crying. He felt me and curled himself around me tightly.

Desperate, I pulled my blanket over the two of us and cocooned him in it. “Do you want to talk about it?” I barely whispered the words, feeling the tears burn my eyes.

Subtly, almost imperceptibly, he shook his head and I kissed his forehead gently.

“Then sleep. I’m here...” I murmured soothingly, though I doubted either of us would get much sleep tonight. I turned the lamp off and began to wonder about what could have caused him so much pain. My hand stroked his back in a slow rhythm until I could feel his body relax and his breathing soften. Seeing him so vulnerable made me realize he was not as strong as he allowed others to see and that he was very much like me, a tormented soul with unresolved issues haunting him from his past.

*  *  *

A gust of air sent chills across my skin and my eyes opened slowly. The window was wide open, the blanket was on the floor and there was no sign of Alec. Worried, I sat up in the middle of the bed and looked around disoriented. The alarm clock went off, announcing me it was seven in the morning—time to get up and get ready for my first day of work.
How the hell am I going to focus after what happened last night?
I quickly directed myself toward the bathroom for my morning routine.

Mom beamed at me when I joined her for breakfast, assessing my outfit from head to toe. My modern black suit perfectly hugged my curves. With a skirt that reached above my knees and high heels I looked quite professional and she nodded in appreciation.

“I see you managed to wake up on your own. You look stunning, dear!” She grinned before taking a sip of coffee.

“I hope it’s office appropriate. I wasn’t sure what to wear. I need more business clothes. I guess I’ll go shopping later today once I get through with work.”

“Sure. You won’t have to do much today, anyway. Just get acquainted with your office and the people you’ll work with. I won’t be too hard on you. I want you to take it slow and make sure you enjoy what you’re doing. Like I said before, I want you to be happy, Kristen.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I ate hastily, though I wasn’t very hungry. I nearly choked on my food when I saw Ryan and Alec passing by the dining room, heading outside.

“Kristen!” Mom scowled. “Slow down. We’re in no hurry. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re eager to get started.”

I drank some tea, trying to hide my nervousness and quench my eagerness to reunite with him.
Get a grip on yourself, damn it!
I was determined not to let anyone suspect anything and protect him as much as I could.

We stepped outside after we finished our breakfast and found the two of them talking by the car.

“Good morning,” Mom greeted them, smiling brightly.

“Good morning, Ma’am,” they said at once.

“Hey.” My gaze met Alec’s and a warm, subtle smile lit his face. It instantly calmed me and it took all I had to stop myself from going straight into his arms.

“Mom, I’m taking my own car. Like I said, I’m going shopping after work.”

“All right. See you there, honey. Alec...” She nodded at him, wordlessly telling him to take care of me.

I waved Mom goodbye, while Alec went to the garage to fetch the car. Obediently, I got into the passenger’s seat when he stopped in front of me and let him drive this time. My gesture brought a smile to his face and I smiled back at him. “You weren’t there when I opened my eyes this morning,” I complained, looking down at the fingers on my lap.

“I had to leave before anyone woke up.” He gently grasped my knee.

I placed my hand over his, enjoying the sight and feel of our skin on skin. The touch was so pleasurable that I felt a pulse in my sex and I was pretty sure my cheeks were turning red.
God, I want him!
I bit my lip and buckled up to avoid launching myself at him right there in the car.

He chuckled and drove away. He seemed different from the man he was last night. I was glad to see him more relaxed, but inside I was dying to know what had happened to him. Not wanting to upset him or force him to remember painful events from his past I remained silent for a moment.

“If I can help you in any way, please let me know.” My voice was soft and full of understanding.

His fingers grasped the steering wheel and I instantly regretted saying anything. “Thank you. I’m fine, though. You don’t have to worry about me.”

I pouted, not happy he’d once more put up a wall to protect himself and refused to let me in. Maybe he needed time to get to know me better before feeling comfortable enough to confide in me.
How could I blame him for that?

Soon we arrived at the location of Mom’s firm, a tall building with floor-to-ceiling windows displaying a panoramic view of the city. He parked the car and followed me inside.

I greeted the receptionist and headed for the elevators, moving my hips in the most sensual way I could, sensing his eyes riveted to my butt. My whole body sang as without warning he grabbed me and kissed my lips as soon as the doors closed. I writhed when his hands reached down to cup my behind and I moaned into his mouth, enchanted by his sudden display of need and affection. Despite the danger, I responded to his kisses hungrily, my hands kneading the strong muscles of his back all the way down to his tush. His tongue repeatedly made forays into my hungry mouth, mapping every corner, stroking along my own tongue, seducing and sweeping me away into an impassioned and wild kissing spree.

We broke apart in the blink of an eye once the elevator reached our floor and I stepped out, making an effort to look normal and not lose my balance as I floated high above the clouds, grinning like an idiot.
How I wish I could keep on kissing him all day!
I licked my tongue across my lips, reliving his delicious taste.

Ryan was sitting outside Mom’s office and he stood up when he saw us coming. His mild smile relaxed me and I thanked him for opening the door for me.

“You made it!” Mom exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. “Come.” She took my hand and led me to the office next to hers. Smaller, but equally imposing and beautifully furnished, the room lured me inside.

I shook my head amused when I noticed a name plate with my name engraved on it sitting on the mahogany desk.

“Do you like it?” she asked, hopeful. “You can redecorate it however you want and change the things you don’t like. Feel free and have fun.”

“It’s okay as it is,” I said, throwing myself on the heavenly leather chair. I leaned back and put my feet up on the desk. “I could get used to this.”

She laughed. “Don’t get too comfortable, Missy. I’ll give you a few minutes to explore. Then I’ll show you around and introduce you to your colleagues.” She opened the door and bumped into Alec. “Oh, look at her, Alec. Isn’t she adorable?” She giggled and walked away, letting him see me.

He smirked and walked in, his gaze fixed on my legs with a naughty gleam in his eye. “Wow, you already have your name on the desk. And your legs...” He leaned over the desk and caressed my ankle.

“Stop it. They could catch us.” I laughed and put my feet down, even though I enjoyed and craved his touch.

“It’s your fault. You think I didn’t realize what you were doing downstairs in the lobby?” He narrowed his eyes playfully.

I tried not to laugh, but I couldn’t help it. “What was I doing?” I asked innocently while taking my suit jacket off. My top hung loosely on my shoulders by two thin strips of lacy edged fabric, and as I leaned over the desk mischievously, I offered him a generous view of my cleavage.

“That, right there...” He pointed at my chest, shaking his head with a joyful smile on his face. “And shaking your ass in front of me like you did. Sneaky...what were you trying to do? Tempt me?”

“Maybe...” I smiled, twirling my finger slowly around a lock of hair. “Did it work?” I drew my lip between my teeth, batting my eyelashes at him.

He shifted from foot to foot, gazing at my lips. He was by my side in an instant. Leaning over me, his hands rested on the arms of my chair, trapping me. “Do you really need to ask?” he inquired wolfishly, placing a teasing kiss at one corner of my mouth.

A shivering gasp escaped me and tendrils of pleasure flooded my body as I shifted in my seat. I grabbed him by the hem of his T-shirt, revealing the band of his black briefs, and felt the unfathomable desire to undress him and give myself to him right there on my desk.

His fingers teased the back of my leg as they make their way up my thigh. Before I knew it, he dropped to his knees and placed butterfly kisses on the exposed skin of my legs. My mind swirled with all the things he might possibly do.

“Kristen?” Mom called as she opened the door.

Faster than I could register it, Alec disappeared in the hollow under the desk and went completely still.

I got up from my seat and went to her side, anxious to get her out of the room. “I’m ready for the tour,” I murmured, nudging her out gently.

“Are you okay? Your cheeks are red.” She looked slightly confused.

“I’m just a little nervous about meeting everybody,” I lied, hoping I could get away with it.

“Don’t be.” She winked and led the way.

The tour lasted over an hour and by the time I returned to my office, I breathed a sigh of relief that he was no longer there. I sat down and enjoyed my glass of iced tea, pleased to know I’d be working with people not much older than me, but who seemed enthusiastic about their jobs. Their warm reception reassured me. However, I couldn’t help but wonder whether their attitude was partly due to my being the daughter of their boss. I decided to put aside those thoughts as others more enticing came to my mind.
What would have happened if Mom hadn’t interrupted us? How in the world am I going to resist this man if he touches me again? Or do I want to resist him?
My inner debate continued. By the time I returned to reality I noticed it was midday already, so I picked up my purse and exited my office.

Mom gave me permission to leave, but since I couldn’t find Alec anywhere, I directed myself to his father.

“Ryan, where’s your son?” I mumbled, feigning annoyance. “He has my car keys.”

He blinked, pursing his lips. “He said he was going for a short walk to get some air. I’ll call him right away,” he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“That’s okay. I’ll call him myself.” I headed for the elevator.

Ryan followed me and I avoided looking at him while waiting for Alec to pick up. He answered me right when I stepped into the elevator.

“Where the heck did you go?” I grumbled and waved Ryan goodbye as the doors closed. “Baby...” I added softly once his father could no longer see or hear me.

Alec chuckled in roguish amusement. “Are you angry or not? I’m confused.”

“Ryan was right next to me, so I had to pretend. Where are you?”

“In the parking lot. You’re coming down?”

“Yes. Wait in the car.” I hung up and rushed to him as soon as I reached the lobby. “Hey.” I greeted him once I climbed into the passenger’s seat.

He grinned. “That was close.”

“Crazy! We can’t do that anymore. It’s too dangerous. You’d be in deep trouble and I don’t want that.”

“Well, you started it.” He defended himself.

“I know. But it won’t happen again. Not in public places. Now let’s go. I’ve got shopping to do,” I said, putting my dark sunglasses on.