The Hardest Part (20 page)

His smile grew and he leaned in and kissed my forehead briefly.
"Goodnight, Emily."

Then he turned to walk away from me.

JAKE

I
SAT
alone in the living room of the dark penthouse. I’d pulled all the curtains closed, not wanting to see the bright lights of the city tonight. Not wanting to see anything for that matter. All I wanted was to sit here and drink until I passed out. It was the only way I’d been able to sleep the past few weeks.

After taking another long sip of bourbon, I set the glass down on the end table next to me and closed my eyes. Even though I didn’t want to think of her, she was all I saw. My heart ached as I thought about how long it had been since I’d seen her face. Since I’d smelled her sweet scent. Since I’d felt the control and peace I had when she was around.

Ever since Emily’s been gone, my whole world has been turned upside down. I wasn’t the person I was before. I couldn’t think, sleep or eat. I hadn’t been myself or been able to do my job. I looked like a complete fool in front of my men. They came to me, wanting answers or for me to give them some sort of direction, but I didn’t have anything to say to them. She occupied all my thoughts. I was completely lost without her.

When I first found out she was missing, I was furious. I was furious at myself for letting her out of my sight. I was furious at Mike for letting her get away. I was furious at her for wanting to leave me. Now, after I had time to think about it, I knew the mistakes I made with her. I knew I told her that I would change, that I would get better. I knew I lied.

The only thing that kept me sane was the thought of seeing her again, knowing that I would see her again. I wasn’t sure how long it would take or what I would have to do, but the day would come when I saw her face again.

Still, after all the pain and worry, and as much as I wanted her back, I was still not sure I could forgive her completely. I wasn’t sure I could bring her back to Vegas and not punish her for what she did. She needed to know the pain she put me through. She needed to know about the embarrassment she caused me with my men. The late nights. The wondering where she was. The worry. The heartache. She needed to know that she couldn’t do this to me again. And after I showed her and made her see, I would promise to never to hurt her ever again, and I would keep that promise... or I would try my hardest to keep it.

A knock on my office door caused my thoughts to dissolve. I opened my eyes as the door opened. The light from the hallway spilled into the dark living room. Without even turning to look, I knew who it was. He’d been avoiding me the past few weeks, but I’d asked Rico to tell him to come see me.

As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I thought Mike knew more than what he was telling me. Much more. For the past few weeks, I had most of my men looking for Emily, but there was only one I really trusted in finding her. The same man who was supposed to be watching her that night... the same one who let her get away. Mike had skills. He had training. That’s why he was the most trusted man on my security team. That’s why I trusted him with my life. He knew this building well. He could get in and out of it without anyone seeing him... and get someone else out of it as well. Everything just pointed to him. It made too much sense. He had to have been the one who helped her get away. I know over the past couple years that he and Emily had grown close. Maybe he chose her over me.

“Rico said you wanted to see me.” Mike’s voice was flat, distant.

“Do you have any news for me?” I asked, not turning to meet his eyes. It was still too hard to look at him without wanting to kill him. Even though I had my own ideas on what happened that night, I still didn’t want to believe it was true. I didn’t want to believe my oldest friend, my most trusted confidant, would betray me like that.

“No, there haven’t been any new developments. The private detective I hired hasn’t found anything yet. So far, we’ve come up with a lot of dead ends.”

I nodded, but still didn’t turn in his direction. The feeling in my gut, the feeling that I knew he was somehow involved with Emily’s disappearance, was still with me, but now, it was even stronger. My suspicion seemed to grow every time I saw him. Gritting my teeth, I kept my thoughts to myself. Before I did anything to him, I wanted to know for sure.

“Is there anything else you need from me before I head out?” he asked and I finally turned to look at him. He stood in the doorway and I could barely see his face through the darkness, but I could see right through his distant demeanor. Our relationship had been strained for the past year or so, but it had only gotten worse over the last few weeks, or since Emily’s been gone.

“No, I don’t think so.”

Without another word, the door closed and the room became completely dark again.

EMILY

I
FELT
restless and got little to no sleep for the rest of the weekend. Every time I closed my eyes, I pictured Reed. I pictured kissing him. I pictured him kissing me. I pictured him moving against me. I pictured his hands on me, my hands on him. The only way to make images stop would be to open my eyes, so I ended up watching a lot of TV, doing lots of laundry and cleaning
—
anything to get my mind off him.

When Monday morning came, I was excited to get to work. I knew with the event only a couple weeks away now, things were going to be really busy. I was excited about that, knowing it would help keep my mind off Reed.

Christine was already sitting at her desk when I got back to our office. She looked like crap, and that was putting it nicely. She had on no makeup, her hair was in a messy bun held up by two pens, and she was wearing black leggings and an oversized sweater. This was very non-Christine. Usually, her hair was curled, her makeup was perfect, and she dressed like she just stepped out a magazine.

"
Hey, are you feeling okay?" I asked her as I pulled off my coat and slung it across my chair.

"
Yeah." She turned to smile at me. "I'm great actually. I feel so much better about this event. I spent all weekend up here, going over everything and making sure we had everything covered, and for the things we still need to do. I made a list." She handed me a piece of paper
—
make that
papers
.

"
You worked all weekend?" I glanced from the list to her face.

"
Yep. I mean, I went home to eat, sleep, and shower, but for the most part, I was up here. I don't mind. I love this stuff and I want it to be perfect."

As I stood there looking at the girl in front of me, realizing she had sacrificed her entire weekend, it made me wonder how I ever hated her. Then I remembered
—
she was a total bitch to me for no reason. For the past couple of weeks, though, she had been great and more than anything, she was working her ass off to make this event great. That reason alone was enough for me to forgive all the crap she had done to me.

"
So what should I start with?" I asked.

"
You take page one and two. I'll start on the rest. They're really just small things, probably things we've already done, but I just want to make sure."

"
Will do." I smiled and ripped the first two pages off and handed the rest back to her.

I got busy working my way down the list, and before I knew it, it was already lunchtime. Good news, I’d only thought about Reed maybe a hundred times during the last few hours. Bad news, it wasn't going to be as easy as I thought to get him out of my head.

Isabel poked her head into our office. She had a huge smile on her face, looking really excited.
"You have a delivery, Emily." Her voice matched the expression on her face, high with excitement.

"
Did you have something delivered to me for the event?" I looked over to Christine.

She shook her head.
"No, I usually just address the packages to the company."

My heart started beating rapidly and I wasn't even sure why. In the darkest corner of my mind, I always thought of Jake at times like this. I could see him sending me something, letting me know in a subtle way that he had found me.

Following Isabel into the front lobby area, I saw a familiar woman. She was the sales lady working at the dress store that Lexi and I had visited this weekend.

"
Hi, are you Emily Anderson?" she asked, smiling at me.

"
Yes, that's me."

My whole body buzzed as she handed me the long, navy-blue dress that I had tried on, hung inside a clear garment bag. For a long moment, I just stared at it in her hands. Finally, I reached out and grabbed it.

"
What is this?" Of course I knew what it was
—
it was a dress. I just wasn't sure why this lady was standing here and why she had just handed me a twenty-three-hundred-dollar dress.

"
Mr. Alexander wanted me to deliver it to you personally. He also asked me to give you this." She handed me a card. I took it, feeling as though my legs were about to give out beneath me.

"
Thank you?" It came out sounding more like a question, but again, I was at a loss for what to say.

After the woman left, I turned around to find both Christine and Isabel staring at me.

"
What was that all about?" Christine asked, mouth gaping.

"
Um, I think Reed Alexander just bought Emily a gorgeous gown and had it delivered to her work. Wow, that is so romantic. Do you have any idea how lucky you are?" Isabel asked, looking at me all dreamy, like she was witnessing some fairytale play out in front of her.

Swallowing hard, I looked at the dress and envelope in my hand, still not believing this was happening.
Didn't I tell him I needed some time, more space? Yes, I am pretty sure I made that clear.
Then I remembered the small grin he had on his face when he said those words…
What was it? Something about being more persistent?

"
I'm going to go hang this up." I walked past them and started making my way back to the office. I could hear them whispering the entire way.

After hanging the dress on the back of my door, I sat in my chair and slowly opened the envelope. I pulled out a single card with the initials R.M.A. printed on the top.

You looked gorgeous in this dress. It would be a shame not to see you in it again. - Reed

My throat felt tight as I stared at his words. He had bought me the dress and had it delivered to my work.
What part of this is giving me space?
I said I needed that, right?
I asked myself again.

Glancing up, I looked at the dress hanging from the door and couldn't control the smile that spread across my face. I really did love the dress. It was beautiful and I felt beautiful in it. Then, the smile dropped from my face as quickly as it appeared. The dress was too much. I couldn't accept it. I would have to return it or give it back to Reed so he could return it.

"
So that was some gift." Christine walked back into our office.

"
Yeah." I shoved the card and envelope into my purse.

"
Is there something going on between the two of you?"

I shook my head an excessive amount of times.
Way to be obvious, Emily.
"No, there's nothing." I cleared my throat. "I went with Lexi to look for a dress this past weekend and tried this one on for fun. He saw me in it and bought it for me."

She nodded, eyeing me curiously.
"It's okay if you're seeing him, Emily. Sharon wouldn't care unless it interfered with the event. I can keep a secret, if you want."

"
Thanks, but really, there's nothing going on."

"
Whatever you say." She shrugged, turning around to face her computer again.

A
FTER WORK
, I met up with Lexi. She had texted me earlier, asking if I wanted to meet up for coffee. I assumed she knew about the dress, and I was curious if she had anything to do with Reed buying it. I was sure he would've asked her what she thought about it at least.