The Hardest Part (24 page)

"
Are you in some kind of trouble?" she asked, her face full of concern.

The last thing I wanted to do was burden her with my problems. It was the last thing she needed in her life.

"
It's nothing I can't take care of myself." I forced a smile. "Really, I'm fine. I just need to be by myself for a little while." It was clear she didn't believe me, but I kept the smile on my face, hoping to eventually fool her. "I'll call you later, okay?" I said as the elevator doors opened.

As the doors slid closed, I refused to meet her gaze. I knew the tears were building up inside me and I knew it was only a matter of time before they erupted. Once the doors opened into the lobby, I ran out and grabbed the first cab I saw.

I was home for only a few minutes, sitting on my bed, wondering what to do, when there was a soft knock on my front door. Fear and panic hit me. It felt like someone had poured ice-cold water down my back.

Then a little voice entered my head, telling me that I was stronger than this. That I didn't have to be afraid. I could do this. I could protect myself. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t allow Jake to rule my life anymore.

Wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath, I made my way to the front door, bracing myself for what I was about to see. My heart relaxed a little when I saw Lexi standing there.

"
Hi," she said when I opened the door. Her face was full of concern and confusion.

"
Hey." I felt the heat hit my cheeks. I felt horrible for running out on her like I did. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking. "Would you like to come in?" I asked, opening the door farther.

She walked in and looked around my apartment. It felt weird for her to be here. No one had ever been inside my apartment.
"This place fits you." She looked at me and smiled. "It's simple, clean and quiet. Just like you. I like it." Simple was right. My apartment held a couch, coffee table, and a small table with an even smaller TV on top.

"
You didn't have to come, Lexi. I told you I was fine, and I am. The pictures just freaked me out a little."

She nodded.
"I get it. I will understand if you don't want to tell me, but the look of fear in your eyes a few minutes ago, I know that look." She paused and swallowed hard. "It's hard to hide your feelings from someone who's experienced the same type of fear as you. I'm not sure what happened to you, Emily, but I know fear when I see it." She continued to walk around my apartment, glancing at the few things I had decorated it with. She made her way over to the couch and then looked at me. "May I sit?"

I nodded.
"Sure."

She sat down and then said,
"A few months after the attack, I didn't allow anyone to see me, not even Reed. I was ashamed of what happened. In my head, I felt it was my fault in some way. I felt guilty for not stopping it from happening. Foolish, right? I mean, who was I? I was just a twenty-one-year-old girl. How was I supposed to stop three men with guns? I was scared. I was in pain. I felt ugly on the inside and out. I told everyone that I just wanted to be alone. I locked myself in my condo and didn't leave. If it weren't for Reed hiring people to bring me food and clean my condo, I would have probably died up there.

“I thought if someone saw me, they were just going to look at me with pity in their eyes. They were just going to stare at my scars and see me as a victim. I hated that, so I pushed people away. I thought I could live alone, be by myself, and get through whatever I was going through. I thought time would heal everything and one day I would wake up and be normal again.
" She shook her head.

"
I just want you to know that you can talk to me. You know that, right? I'll understand better than you think, whatever it is. And you can talk to Reed, too. He cares for you, Emily. We want to be there for you. It took me a long time to trust Brandon enough to let him in, but when I did, it helped so much."

I could feel the tears building in my chest. I wished more than anything I could tell her, tell Reed, but it was more than just getting over the fear of letting them know my secrets. My secrets could put them in danger and I couldn't do that to them.

"
You've been a good friend to me. I just want to be one for you, too," she said, standing up and taking a few steps toward me. I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold the tears away.

"
It's better for you if you stay away from me," I told her. "I don't want you to get involved… You've already been hurt enough for one lifetime."

Her face fell.
"Emily, you're really freaking me out. I want to help you. Let me help you."

"
You can't. You don't know what he's capable of. You don't know what he can do
—
what he's done." I’d kept it all in for so long and I couldn’t control it any longer. The words just spilled out of me.

"
So you're running from someone?"

I nodded softly.

"
Emily, you can't live in constant fear like that." She took another step closer to me. "Believe me. I know what that can do to a person."

My whole body started to shake. My heart was beating wildly.
Can I tell her? Is it selfish of me to involve her? Will it put her in danger?

"
Why don't you come sit with me on the couch and talk about it? We'll see how it goes."

I made my way over to the couch and then she took a seat beside me.

Taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes and started from the beginning.
"His name is Jake Terrell. We were together for three years. The first year we were together, we were great, everything was perfect, but then he started to change. He became this person I didn't know anymore. He became controlling, violent. It was small things at first, but over time, things got worse, way worse. He wouldn't let me go anywhere without him or one of his men." I stopped and took in another breath, wondering how much to tell her.

"
He hit you." She didn't ask it as a question. I opened my eyes and nodded. Tears spilled over and rolled down my cheeks.

"
I tried to get away from him, but he knows people. There was always someone watching. I could never get far enough away before he would find me and drag me back."

"
Emily"—she grabbed my hand—"that's awful. I wished you would've told me this sooner. It must have been horrible to have kept this inside." Then it must have hit her. "Oh no, if he sees those pictures, he'll know where you are and…" Her voice trailed off and her eyes grew wide. "Emily, you need to tell the police."

I shook my head.
"No. It won't help. They won't do anything but put a restraining order on him. And, believe me, that won't keep him away. If Jake finds out where I am, he'll come, no matter what."

"
Then you have to get out of here."

I stood up and paced the living room.
"I've been going over it in my head. There's a chance he won't even see the pictures. There's a chance nothing will happen. I like it here in New York. I’ve built a life here. I have you and Reed. I don’t want to leave."

"
But there's also a chance that he
will
see it," she countered. "I don't want anything to happen to you. You have to do something."

"
I'm not sure what to do. I'm still thinking about it."

"
Come stay with me," she blurted out. "At least for a few days."

I stopped pacing and faced her.
"I can't put you in danger, Lexi, and I'm not as weak as I was a few months ago. That's why I took those classes. I wanted to learn how to defend myself. I never want to be a victim again."

"
We'll get Peters, Warren, and Robbins. We'll have Reed get a few more of his security team. Everything will be fine."

"
No. I don't want to tell Reed yet."

She looked at me like I was crazy.
"I don't like this, Emily. You need to tell someone."

"
I am. I'm telling you."

She gave me a look. A look like she didn't want to be the only person to know my secret. I knew the burden I’d just given her, but I just wasn't ready to tell anyone else… especially Reed. To be honest, I didn't even want to tell Lexi. It just kind of came out.

"
Promise me you won’t tell Reed," I said.

She shook her head and her eyes grew wide.
"How am I supposed to do that? I'm not sure I
can
do that. This is serious. What if something happens to you? I'll never forgive myself. Reed will never forgive me."

"
Promise me," I said again.

"
You can tell him. He really cares about you. The night of the Black and White event was the first time I'd seen him so happy in years. You make him happy. He can help protect you."

I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together. This was going to be complicated. Way more than I ever expected. Way more than I ever wanted. My life and my problems were now bleeding into Lexi's life, and worst of all, I was asking her to keep this to herself.

"
Please, just promise." I opened my eyes, pleading with her.

A torn expression covered her face. I knew it was wrong of me to ask her to keep something like this from him, but I wanted to tell him myself, when I was ready.

"
I don't like it, but it's not my secret to tell. I'll keep it to myself as long as you stay with me for a few days and as long as you promise to tell him everything soon."

I nodded.
"I will. I'll tell him. I just need some time to sort this out and figure out what I'm going to do."

"
You can’t leave town without telling me."

"
I don’t think I can keep running but if I do leave, I promise to tell you first."

She took in a deep breath.
"So you'll stay with me for a few days. I won't take no for an answer."

Then I remembered her plans with Brandon.
"But Lexi, your plans for this week. There's no way I'm going to let you cancel them."

She shook her head like she didn't want to hear any of my excuses.
"It's not an option. Brandon will understand and it will give me a little while longer to prepare to meet his family. I'm way too nervous about it anyway."

"
That's not fair."

"
Well, it wouldn't be fair of me to just leave you here when you really need me."

She was almost too sweet for her own good. By the look on her face, I knew there was nothing I could say to change her mind.

I walked over to her and hugged her tight. I had to admit it felt so nice to finally tell someone the truth, and I was glad it was her.

JAKE

I
SAT
in my office chair, looking out across the city lights of Vegas, when there was a loud knock at my door. Glancing over, I saw Rico's head poke through.

"
Hey, boss, you got a minute? I think there's something you should see."

"
What is it?" I asked, annoyed. He knew I didn't like to be bothered, especially at night.

Rico came in and shut the door behind him. I guess he didn't pick up on my tone. I really wasn't in the mood for visitors. I hadn't been in the mood for anything really the past few months.

"
This better be good." My voice came out sounding more like a growl.

"
I gotta show you something. Something you’re not gonna like, but something I know you're gonna want to see."

I glared up at him as he placed a magazine down on my desk.

Picking it up, my eyes glanced at the cover. I was even more confused when I saw it was some stupid woman magazine.
What the hell is this?

"
Turn to page eighteen and tell me if that pretty brunette looks familiar to you," Rico said. I could hear the seriousness in his voice and from the look on his face, I knew he was trying to tell me something important.