The Hardest Part (31 page)

Another sharp pain in my chest took my breath away and the throbbing in my head worsened. The voices of the paramedics filtered in and out. My eyes felt heavy, but I followed Reed until he was put in the ambulance, out of my sight. Tears spilled out of the corners of my eyes.

Please just let him be okay. Please.

His face was the last thing I saw before the darkness pulled me under.

JAKE

I
WATCHED
as the car swerved off the road. The red taillights grew fainter as the car flipped and bounced down the embankment.

Rico pulled the car over as my eyes remained focused on the car until it came to a halt in an upside down position.

“What do you want to do, boss?” Rico asked breathlessly from the front seat. I couldn’t think of what to do. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.

“We should probably get out of here pretty quick, boss, or someone may see us.” I could hear the uneasiness in his voice. Even though, I knew what he said was true, I wasn’t ready to leave yet.

There was a good chance Emily was gone—dead—and I was still struggling with how I felt about that. There was a pull deep inside of me, wanting me to get out of the car, run down there and make sure she was all right. Then there was another part of me that didn’t care if she was dead. I was pretty sure I wanted her dead anyway. I would’ve killed her with my bare hands if she hadn’t gotten away from me earlier tonight.

She had betrayed me. She had left me and started a new life. She had caused me more pain than I’d ever felt in my life. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted her to feel pain. But now, as I stared down at the wreckage, I didn’t know if that was how I felt anymore. The past few months without her had been horrible. There were so many times when I didn’t want to go on anymore without her, but I always had the hope that I’d get her back one day. Now, if she was dead, I’d never get her back.

“We’ve gotta go, now,” Rico’s voice interrupted my thoughts again. “A car’s coming up behind us. He’s gonna see the wreck down there and call the cops.”

I didn’t respond, but I felt the car pull forward. My eyes stayed focused on the wreckage until it was out of sight.

We went back to our hotel in the city and I didn’t sleep a wink that night. Rico was on edge the entire drive back to New York and told me, I don’t know how many times, that we needed to get back to Vegas. After about an hour of trying to get me to respond, and me just ignoring him, he finally stopped. I just couldn’t think about leaving New York. Not like this. My whole purpose of coming here was to get Emily. It just didn’t seem right to leave without her.

My mind continued to flash back to the accident and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was dead or alive. When I gave Rico the order to run the car off the road, I was so angry with her that I wanted her dead. But now, I wish I could take it all back. I may have just killed the love of my life. The thought of her lying dead in a morgue somewhere made me sick to my stomach.

The next morning Rico scanned all the newspapers and news stations but found nothing about the accident. I thought for sure since Reed Alexander was such a big name in New York there would be something about the wreck.

“I did what you told me to do, boss. You aren’t upset with me are you?” Rico’s voice was low, cautious.

I raised my eyes to meet his. He was sitting in the corner of our hotel room and it was easy to see the fear on his face. He may have been the one that ran the car off the road and killed my girl, but I gave the order. If he hadn’t done it, I would have seen it as him disobeying me and probably killed him myself.

I shook my head. “It was my call. My decision.”

REED

T
HE HOSPITAL
could be eerily quiet at night. With the silence, you become even more sensitive to the sounds of the machines, the whispers and footsteps from the nurses, and the quiet stillness in between. Each beep from the machines was even more painful than the ones before it. Each second that passed and Emily's eyes remained closed, I got more nervous that she would never open them again. With the guilt that had been building up in my chest over the last few days, I thought at any moment it would explode.

It was only a few minutes before the accident when I had promised Emily that I would protect her from ever getting hurt again. Now, as I stared at her, I knew I had failed her. I had lied. I wasn't able to stop him.

I would never forgive myself if she didn't wake up from this. Hell, even if she did wake up, I would still never forgive myself for letting this happen to her. Taking her hand in mine, I closed my eyes and begged her to open hers. It was something I'd done since I woke up in the hospital a few days ago and found out what happened.

I didn't remember much of the accident, and the memories leading up to it were a little fuzzy. After a while, I remembered what Emily had told me. I remembered our dinner and how she disappeared after I got a phone call. I remembered her finally arriving at my place with her hair disheveled, her eyes red and swollen, and marks around her neck.

I pushed the memories from my mind, leaning forward and kissing her hand. My ribs screamed out in pain and I winced, taking in a sharp breath.

The doctors told me it was amazing that I survived the wreck. That either of us had. I had four broken ribs, a fractured left shoulder, and a concussion, but other than those injuries, I should heal up pretty nicely. The doctors told me that Emily was actually conscious when the paramedics got to her, but she didn't tell anyone what happened. The only thing she seemed to care about was making sure I was okay. That only made me feel worse. The doctors told me she had some swelling in her brain and was in a coma. She had two broken ribs, a dislocated hip, and broken ankle. They told me they wouldn’t be able to assess the long-term damage until she woke up. My whole body was still sore from the accident, but it was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling when they described her injuries to me.

The cops had questioned me the moment I woke up, wanting to get all the information they could before I forgot anything. I told them everything I remembered. I told them about Jake Terrell. I told them everything Emily had told me that night. About how she had been running from him. I explained to them how the crazy son of a bitch chased us and ran us off the road. That before that, he had terrorized Emily, and she came over to my place, totally hysterical, scared for her life.

Closing my eyes, I tried to forget the terror in Emily's eyes from that night. Though, truthfully, I would settle for seeing that fear again if she would just open her eyes.

Squeezing Emily's hand, I wished for her beautiful smile. I wished that she would wake up and be okay. I also wished that I would find the son of a bitch that did this to her and make him pay.

Tears stung my eyes. The harder I tried to keep them buried, the pain in my chest worsened.

The door to the room opened and a nurse came in, one that I'd seen a few times before. I think her name was Kim. She was actually my favorite out of all the nurses. I wondered if she would tell me to go back to my room. I wasn't supposed to be in here this late, but I just couldn't stay away any longer.

"
Hi, Reed. How's our patient doing?" she asked.

I wiped my eyes in case any tears had escaped as she walked over to the other side of the bed and added a bag of clear liquid, then adjusted the IV in Emily's hand.

"
She's…" I hesitated, fighting back the lump rising in my throat. "I'm not sure. I just want her to open her eyes." My thumb moved over Emily's hand as I stared at her peaceful face.

"
I know," she said, bringing a cart up to the side of the bed. "She's going to open her eyes. We just need to give her body some time to heal first. The doctor isn't going to like you being in here, you know. You need your rest, too." She gave me a pointed look and then her face softened.

I leaned in closer and wrapped both of my hands around hers.
"When she opens her eyes, I want to be the first thing she sees."

"
Okay, I think I can keep quiet, but I need to check on her and it would be helpful if you back up for just a minute while I check on your baby."

Your baby.

My baby.

Our baby.

The word baby still sounded foreign to me. It had been three days since the doctors told me Emily was pregnant, but I still hadn't gotten over the shock of the word yet.

I pushed my chair back, just enough for the nurse to do her job. My eyes followed the nurse's every movement and then they moved over to the monitor and I watched the screen come alive. I sat there and watched in both amazement and shock. This was all still sinking in. I wasn’t even sure Emily knew herself. The doctors said she was about six weeks pregnant and as far as they could tell, the baby was fine.

"
Everything seems to be going great." The nurse smiled over at me.

The tightness in my chest eased a bit, yet I still couldn't shake the possibility that I could lose her, lose the baby. I was scared to death of being without her for another second.

My cell phone buzzed in the chair next to me. I leaned over to grab it, expecting it to be Lexi. She had been calling non-stop. She was in the hospital when I woke up and never left my side. I sent her home last night to get some rest.

When I glanced at my screen, I saw the call wasn't from Lexi. It was Robbins.

"
I'll watch over her if you need to take that," the nurse said, glancing over at me.

I gave her a small nod and stood up.
"Thank you." I leaned over and kissed Emily's forehead. "I'll be just a minute," I promised her.

My ribs ached and it hurt to stand, so I leaned against the wall on the other side of the hall.

"
Robbins, talk to me. Tell me you found the son of a bitch." I winced. It hurt to breathe, let alone talk.

"
I'm sorry, but we don't have much information. He hasn't returned to his residence in Las Vegas and we don't have any leads on where he's staying here in New York, if he's even still here."

The fucking coward. How can he just disappear? How can he not own up to what he did?

I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth, feeling the need to punch something to release the anger growing inside of me. I wanted him to pay for hurting Emily. I wanted him to pay for hurting our baby. I also wanted to keep him from ever hurting her again. This time, I wouldn't fail her. This time, I would keep my promise.

"
I don't care what you have to do, Robbins, find him." I ended the call, took a deep breath and then headed back into the room. I didn't want to be away from her any longer than I had to be.

As I was making my way back across the hall, I heard Lexi's voice at the nurses’ station. She was trying to talk them into letting her come back and visit even though it was still thirty minutes until visiting hours started.
Is it really almost eight in the morning?
I didn't think I slept more than a few minutes during the night. I didn't want to miss it if Emily woke up.

Leaning against the wall, I peeked my head around the corner and saw Lexi standing there. The nurse turned in my direction and Lexi followed her gaze.

"
Reed," she practically yelled. "What are you doing out of bed?" She looked like our mother as she stomped toward me. I knew I was about to get a lecture. "You should be resting. Do your doctors know you're down here?"

I sighed.
"I couldn't be away from her. I came down here to check on her in the middle of the night and couldn't make myself leave."

Her face fell.
"How is she doing?" she asked, wrapping her arm around me, helping support my left side, the one I didn't even realize I was holding.

Before turning around, I glanced toward the nurses’ station, and she gave us a wave of approval. The last thing I wanted was to be rude to the nurses. They were the ones that allowed me to come down here. I didn't want that to stop.

"
Her condition hasn't changed." I took in a deep breath as we turned to make our way back down the hall toward her room. "She still hasn't opened her eyes."

"
I'm so sorry, Reed. How's the baby? Have they said anything?"