"Better?" he inquired, quietly chuckling.
"Much," I murmured in response. My body soon stopped shivering. Between the new blanket and the warmth from Jamie, I was quite comfortable. I sighed contently and melted even further into Jamie's warmth.
He wrapped his other arm around me, clasping his hands together. I thought I heard him sigh too when he rested his chin on top of my head. It was still quite lively closer to the fire. The impromptu football game continued and more guys had joined up. The others were starting to form around the game in little groups to watch.
"Jamie?" I asked, "Do you want to play with them?"
"Hmmm," Jamie started, "No. I want to stay right here, with you." Jamie's voice was soft and tender, as if he truly did want to stay and keep me warm. That was surprising. I knew Jamie cared about me and we were great friends. But he would never pass up a chance to throw a football around.
"Not even to show off a little?" I teased. "Marie is over there." I tried to pinch his stomach but had a hard time finding any extra skin on his toned belly. I knew I didn't hurt him. I had pinched mostly sweatshirt.
"Hey!" he yelled. He started laughing in response, but he didn't let go of me. "No, I'm really alright here."
I turned to try to look up at him. He usually took any opportunity to try to impress Marie. In fact, he had a crush on her for as long as I could remember. Last summer, Jamie had spent so much time showing off for Marie that I made fun of him for strutting around for her all the time. Marie was an adorable girl, petite with fine features. She had brown, curly hair that she often wore pulled back away from her face. I didn't know her well because she actually went to Jamie's school. By the end of summer, I realized I was a little jealous that Marie had captured so much of Jamie's attention. I wasn't jealous because I wanted him to feel the same for me. On the contrary, I loved our friendship. When we were together there were never any expectations, just fun. But Marie took a lot of that fun away last summer and because of that, I was a little jealous.
Jamie looked down at me. "What?" he asked innocently, a smile curling at the corners of his lips. "What?" he repeated, now laughing. I just stared at him incredulously. "You don't really want me to leave you alone to those drunkards do you?" Jamie asked. He was right. I didn't want him to leave me alone. I looked at the groups surrounding the football game and the fire. I could see many of them were holding beer bottles.
"Oh, god," I groaned. "Let the debauchery begin."
Jamie was laughing harder now and his whole body shook with me shaking along with it.
"Jamie," I said, "Stop it!" I started laughing too, which made Jamie laugh even harder. Between my laughter, I told him to stop, but he just laughed louder. When our howls finally did stop, we both dried the tears that ran down our faces. We looked at those around the bonfire. Everyone had stopped partying and was staring at us. Even the guys playing football had stopped. I giggled nervously.
I was suddenly very embarrassed. Had we really been that loud? I wished the sand would open up and swallow me. I knew that most kids here thought I was strange because of the scene I caused at the last bonfire I attended.
I remembered back to that night almost exactly a year ago. We were all here at Dark Pier. The weather was unseasonably warm for April. I was with Emma and we were talking to some of the other girls about the upcoming prom. None of us had dates so we were all planning on going together. We were describing our dresses to each other, trying to convince everyone that our dress was better and more beautiful, when Kent and his football buddies had pulled out the coolers of beer. I remember staring at the guys tossing the beers to each other and watching them laugh as they cracked them open and began to drink. I knew they were all underage. But they drank anyway, laughing and drinking with no thought of the possible consequences of their actions.
I'm still not sure why I acted how I did. Still unsure why I charged towards Kent and the other guys drinking. Maybe it was because a few months earlier, a guy that went to Jamie's school died of binge drinking. He was only seventeen. Maybe it was because Opa Gill had been killed by a drunk driver just the summer before. Although the drunk driver that killed Opa wasn't underage, that experience had made me a little sensitive to alcohol. Who was I kidding? It made me a lot sensitive to alcohol. Maybe it was anger and irritation that again the "cool" kids were pressuring everyone to do something they weren't supposed to do. They had pressured me before. I'd heard it many times. "Come on Jacey. One little drink won't hurt you." "Everyone else is doing it." "I guess your just not one of us, are you, Jacey."
Maybe it was all of those things or none of those things. I don't really remember. But, I do remember my rage. I left the group I was talking to and made my way towards Kent and the other guys. I vaguely remember Emma pulling on my arm and asking me where I was going. But in my anger, Emma's voice was muted. I walked up and stood right in front of him. Kent had said, "Hey, Jacey. You want a beer too, baby?" Seeing only red, I grabbed the beer from his hand and poured it all over his expensive Polo shirt. Unfortunately for him, it was a full beer.
At first, everyone was shocked by my seemingly unprovoked assault on Kent and his beer. No one moved. Then Kent became angry. "You bitch!" He had yelled at me, his face turning from white to red to purple. He shoved me as hard as he could. I fell backwards into the arms of some of his football friends who instinctively caught me to prevent my fall.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy? You stupid bitch!" he kept screaming at me. His hands were balled into fists at his side.
The guys holding me awkwardly helped me stand. I just stared back at Kent, my own hands balled into fists at my side. "People die because of alcohol, but you don't care!" I yelled back. "All you care about is yourself!" I screamed into his face. We were practically nose to nose. I then remember doing the truly unthinkable. I spat in his face. Not just a little, but as much as I could gather in my mouth.
Gasps of horror and shock swept through the crowd that gathered around us as the spittle ran down his face. If Kent was angered by my assault on him and his beer, this sent him into a blind, unbridled rage the likes of which I had never seen before. Kent shoved me so hard that I landed on the ground with a thud. Thankfully, the soft sand helped break my fall so I wasn't hurt.
"I'm going to kill you!" Kent screamed at me his face red with anger. Little beads of sweat formed on his face. As he lunged for me, a blurred figure had plowed into his side, tackling him to the sand at my feet.
There were groans and muffled sounds as if someone was hitting a large piece of meat. I finally made out the mass of arms and legs rolling around in the sand. Jamie had tackled Kent to save me. And the two of them were fighting.
More punches and more groans. Jamie's friends lined up across from Kent's, poised to attack. The guys were all snarling and eager to fight, like two packs of wild dogs. I watched Kent and Jamie wrestling and fighting. I grimaced when I heard Jamie groan after Kent landed a punch. Kent's friends forgot me as I sat at their feet. They were too busy waiting for Jamie's friends to make a move to justify an all-out brawl.
I felt someone tugging on my arm, trying to drag me to my feet.
"Come on!" Emma desperately pleaded. "Let's get out of here!" She pulled harder and this time I responded by scrambling to my feet. As we ducked through the crowds and ran towards my car, I looked back to see Kent and Jamie still fighting.
"What about Jamie?" I asked, slowing.
"He's a big boy. Let's go!" Emma yelled, pulling my arm again and urging me towards the car.
We pulled away from the Dark Pier parking lot and I stole another glance toward the fight. You could no longer see the boys fighting because the crowd around them had grown pretty large. I groaned, sinking deep in my seat.
"What the hell were you thinking?" Emma nearly shrieked at me in her panicked state. Why did you do that?"
"I don't know," I groaned again, covering my face with my hands. I felt so bad for Jamie coming to my rescue yet again.
As Emma sped down the curving streets towards town, two police cars raced past us, lights flashing and sirens blaring.
"Oh, god!" I groaned again, and I sank even deeper into my seat.
We later discovered that Jamie had broken Kent's jaw during the fight. Jamie had received a black eye. Both had involvement with the courts. Nobody really forgot this incident I caused last spring. And as Jamie and I sat on the sand tonight, laughing hysterically, I knew everyone was thinking back to the scene I had made a year ago. Through the embarrassing silence, we looked at them and they stared at us.
Jamie broke the stillness. "It's okay everyone. Jacey just wants a beer and I don't have one to give her."
"Jamie!" I yelled at him, punching him in the shoulder again. Everyone stared back at us. Jamie started laughing again.
"Real funny, McMann," someone yelled sarcastically.
"You are such a weirdo, Jacey," someone else said.
I started laughing again with Jamie. Eventually, all the others went back to their conversations, ignoring us. Even the football game started back up again.
Our laughter died down to quiet chuckles and I settled back into Jamie's arms and chest. "You are so funny Jamie," I murmured. "You always take care of me."
Jamie wrapped his big arms around me tightly and kissed the top of my head. "Always," he responded. "Always."
And I knew he would. I was so comfortable in Jamie's arms, I almost completely forgot about him. Almost, but not quite.
I watched the sunrise from my bedroom window. The morning sun turned the horizon soft hues of pink and orange as the night sky faded back toward the west. I watched as it peeked out from the horizon and slowly made its ascent into the sky. I sat up in bed, my blankets pooled around me, hugging my knees, marveling at the truly glorious sight. Birds began to chirp loudly outside my open window signaling to the world that it was time to wake.
Another terrfying dream had awakened me in the night. Even when I forced myself to lay back down, squeezing my eyes shut, I could not find sleep. So I gave up and just sat in bed watching the minutes click by on the clock next to my bed. I was anxious to call Jamie. He had asked to run with me the next time I went. I was hopeful that if we ran this morning, I might see the stranger again. A little pang of guilt stabbed at the corner of my heart. I was using Jamie, I knew, but I still believed in my theory; the more time spent outside, the more likely I would see him again. I took solace in the thought that Jamie wouldn't mind. He would just call the run "conditioning" for the football season anyway.
Anxiously, I watched my alarm clock all the while rubbing my pin between my hands. When the clock finally reached 6:00 a.m., I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Jamie's number. "Come on McMann...pick the phone up," I muttered to myself as his phone rang. When he didn't pick up, I dialed again. On the third attempt, a groggy Jamie answered.
"Hello?" Jamie's sleepy voice croaked into the receiver.
"Hey, Jamie. You wanna go for a run?"
"Jacey?" Jamie asked, "What's going on?" A loud yawn came through the telephone.
"Do you wanna go for a run?" I repeated.
"A run? Now?"
"Yes, now," I answered with a bit more harshness than I intended.
"Geez, Jace. What time is it?" Jamie was waking up. His words were coming faster as the veil of sleep lifted from his mind.
"About 6:00. When can you get here?"
"6:00?! It's Sunday, Jacey. Can't we go later?"
"No. I want to go now," I whined like a small child.
It was quiet for a moment and then I heard soft laughter.
"What's so funny, McMann?"
"You," Jamie said, laughing harder. "I don't see you for months and then you wake me up in the wee hours of the morning only hours after I left you? Really, Jacey. I'm flattered."
The pang of guilt I felt earlier stabbed me a little stronger. "Uh...yeah," I stuttered in response, feeling a tad sheepish for calling him so early.
Laughing, Jamie stated, "Okay, Jace. Let me get a cup of coffee and I'll be there in about thirty minutes."
"Sure. Thanks." I held onto my cell phone, just staring at it for a moment.
What was I doing?
I wasn't the type of person that used another for her own gain. Jamie was an understanding person and my friend. He likely wouldn't be bothered by my true intentions if I told him. I flipped my cell phone into my free hand and underneath the phone were my angel wings that he gave me. I closed my fingers around the pin. Taking a deep breath, I got off my bed. I wasn't thinking about Jamie anymore.
I went into the bathroom and flicked on the light. The bright lights were jarring and I squinted my eyes until they adjusted. I washed my face and brushed my teeth quietly, so as not to wake Oma. I ran a brush through my tangled hair.
Why didn't I pull it up before I fell asleep last night?
I finally gave up and wrapped my hair in a messy bun on top of my head. And just as I had yesterday, I stared at the reflection in the mirror. Just plain, unspecial me. I stuck my tongue out at myself. Yep, just like yesterday...nothing special about me.
I dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and grabbed my running shoes before hopping down the stairs as quietly as I could. No doubt Oma stayed awake last night waiting for me to get home from the bonfire. She would be so tired today. I wanted her to sleep a little while longer. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from the desk in the breakfast nook and scribbled quickly.
Went for a run with Jamie. Will be back for breakfast and church. Coffee is done. Love, Jacey.
The coffee was just starting to brew, when I heard Jamie's Jeep pull into the driveway. I hoped he wouldn't beep his horn for fear of waking Oma. I grabbed a bottled water from the floor of the pantry and ran outside to meet him.
Jamie was standing at the door, his arm raised and poised to knock. He startled slightly when I opened the door so suddenly.