The Heart (16 page)

I woke the next morning, and per our agreement, went to text Jack only to realize he’d beat me to it.

Jack: Good morning, beautiful.

Rose: Rap & R&B 101 LL Cool J, Mama said Knock You Out. And no need for flattery.

Jack: It’s the truth. I should have told you that last night before I kissed your perfect mouth.

Rose: We were up to our ears in dancing babies. Kind of busy.

Jack: I had fun. I like your family very much. They’re a lot like mine.

I laughed hard at that. There was no way it could be true.

Rose: Not possible.

Jack: You’d be surprised. What are you doing?

Rose: About to scrub in for surgery.

Jack: See you later? Dinner?

Rose: I may be in surgery for hours.

Jack: Don’t run from me.

I paused, unsure if I was making excuses.

Rose: Okay.

Jack: Okay you aren’t running or okay to dinner?

Rose: Both

Jack: ☺ Eight?

Rose: Nine ☺

Jack: Go save someone.

Rose: Go build something.

“Jamie, let’s get in the zone.” She nodded at me with a wink as Lauryn Hill’s “That Thing” sounded throughout the room. I only had a few minutes before McGuire came in to start the appendectomy before silence would accompanied me throughout the rest of the surgery. On more than one occasion, McGuire had come in with his nose turned up in complete distaste for my music selection. Jamie was more of a southern rock type of girl, but she always humored me, the way most people did. As far as I knew, I was a dying breed in my love of rap music. And though I hoped to persuade Jack of its appeal, I knew my love for it would never fade.

Only Dallas had loved it right along with me until her tastes had changed a little later. Still, I loved that we shared in that. It was one of our things. I found myself a little sad when I thought of Dallas lately. I missed her terribly, even though I saw her last night. She had this huge life and though she included me in every minute she could, we weren’t the ride or die girls we’d once been, still as close, but
never
alone together.

I didn’t resent her growing family for it. I simply missed my person. The same went for my old college roommate, Jennifer. We’d been close for the entirety of our education, both university and medical school, until she moved to California months after graduation. Jen married and began to have children, and though neither of us wanted it, we’d drifted apart. She’d been my confidant for so long, and for the first year after her move, I was lost without her. I couldn’t fault her, either. She was doing what she’d set out to do. Life was moving on, and those around me were building families. If things hadn’t have gone the way they had, I’d probably have been a new mother as well. I shook off the threat of sadness and concentrated on my kiss with Jack as I prepared to get into my zone.

It worked.

I spent my workday doing routine surgeries. The more I operated in the same set conditions, the more I was sure I was glad Dallas and I hadn’t stuck to our original plan to open a general practice. I knew eventually I’d become bored with the routine as McGuire had stated. I looked forward to being tested in tumor removal. No case would be the same. Cancer, though my greatest enemy, was still to become my life’s work. It was unpredictable, and that was the challenge I had to look forward to. As a human, I loathed the idea of anyone going through something so damning and painful. As a doctor, I was intrigued and determined to find a way to conquer my enemy.

All of my years of training, all of the hours I’d spent buried in books and in journals, the months I’d spent practicing my techniques, was all for the greater good. My purpose, my reason for being, was to fight cancer along with Dallas. All our roads, our hard work, had led to the center. Even pieces of our personal lives had all led up to this point.

As I closed up Mrs. Mills, I whispered in her ear, the way I did all my patients, “You did really well. You can come back now.”

“What do you say to them?” Jamie asked for the millionth time. I simply winked at her as I looked at McGuire, who never asked me but gave me the stern look he always did when I completed my ritual.

“Good job, Whittaker. I’ve taken the liberty of setting you up with Dr. Nichols this evening. He’ll be performing a cranial tumor removal.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said with enthusiasm, even though I felt a little piece of me sink at the thought I would have to cancel on Jack.

McGuire, true to his pleasant nature, left the OR without so much as a kiss my ass or goodbye. I vowed then and there not to treat my staff the same. What was the point of intimidating people that way? Sure, his methods had been successful for him, but it didn’t earn any more respect, at least not from me. Though I’d admired his abrasive attitude at one time, it was starting to wear on me. I again thanked fate that I wouldn’t be governed by him for the rest of my surgical career.

Excitement for my professional future began to race through me. I turned to Jamie as we sat in the courtyard next to the cafeteria and finally started the conversation I’d long avoided.

“We have just eleven weeks until we open the center. Weeks!”

Jamie paused, a full spoon of yogurt in front of her. “Now you want to talk about it? Now... now you want to talk about it when we’ve been trying to get you to open up for a solid year?!”

I chuckled as I poured almond milk into my granola. “So I’ve been tight-lipped, I know, I know, but that’s only because I didn’t want to jinx it, you know?”

Jamie nodded as if she understood.

“For so long, I’ve been measuring my life in years, Jamie. I can’t believe I’m saying weeks. WEEKS!”

“I’ve never seen you this pumped,” she said with a mouthful of yogurt.

“It’s a dream come true,” I said, my voice quivering with emotion and pride. “What do you do when your dream comes true?”

Jamie looked down at me just as her pager went off. She smiled as she stood to leave. “I guess you dream bigger.”

As I watched her walk away, I couldn’t for the life of me imagine asking for anything more.

Rose: I have to cancel, Jack. I’m sorry.

Jack: ?

Rose: Late surgery.

Jack: I understand. I’ll be at the center tonight. Come see me when you get off.

Rose: It may be late.

Jack: What am I, 80? I think I can handle a late night.

Rose: LOL You are wayyyyyy older than me. Sure you can keep up?

Jack: I’ll answer that question in person.

A solid blush swept through me, and I hoped he’d make good on that threat.

Rose: See you soon.

Jack: Not soon enough.

I smiled as I scrubbed in and caught my reflection in the window. I saw
her
again. She resembled a woman capable of a genuine smile, of enjoying the moment. I knew it wasn’t just the sudden attention of the beautiful man bent on entertaining our new connection. It was
everything
else, too. I was the career woman I’d set out to become. An already mildly accomplished surgeon with years of life-saving surgeries ahead of me, a career I’d dreamed of and worked my ass off for. With the help of my sister and my amazing family, and though I’d become a doctor years ago, I felt the pride that went along with the title...
really
felt it for time since I graduated. When I’d crossed the stage to accept my doctorate after having just lost Grant, I’d been numb to the world. I’d been stuck in an unbelievable cloud filled with pain and disbelief. Everything I’d done after that day had been busy work, a way to keep myself from falling into despair and pain, but I’d still felt it. I’d pushed through each day, promising myself that I wouldn’t let my personal tragedy take my whole life from me. But in a way, it had. In a way, I’d mourned to the point being a doctor was a chore and another thing I had to get through instead of a joyful endeavor of my choosing. As I watched the patient being prepped for surgery in my new clarity, I rejoiced in the knowledge that was no longer the case. And while I assisted on an operation it would take me years to imitate and perfect, I let the swell of pride burst within me.

I am a surgeon.

Though the last few weeks had been confusing for me as far as finding my footing in my personal life, I realized the reason for that uncertainty.

I’d just woken up.

After assisting on another successful surgery, I pulled up to the center around eleven thirty and grinned at the sight of Jack’s bike. I parked next to it and grabbed the bottle of Maker’s Mark Jules had surprised me with on my last birthday and the bag of goodies I’d gotten from the store. I’d never really had a reason to open the bottle until today, but I was in the mood to celebrate. And though my feet were aching and I was sure I needed a thorough shower, I looked at the center with fresh eyes.

Excitement coursed through me as I entered the double doors and shouted out to Jack.

“In here,” he called out. I saw the light on in my unfinished office, walked in, and nearly dropped what was in my arms.

“Oh, Jack!” I said, taking it all in.

I saw his pride-filled smile as he bent over a saw table with a measuring tape. He let it retract back into its case and gave my reaction his full attention. “You like it?”

I stood there in disbelief for a solid minute as I took in my office. Only it wasn’t the simple room I’d originally designed with my father at my insistence. It was far more beautiful. This one was filled wall to wall with custom-made shelving derived from a beautiful dark oak. If I’d had the time to dream it up, it would be exactly what I would have chosen. The desk looked to be newly finished and polished, and I had to do all I could to keep from tearing up.

“You did all of this today?”

“I’m good, but I’m not that good. I’ve been working on it for a few days now.”

“I had no idea,” I said, setting down my bags and walking toward the desk, rubbing my hands along the dark wood. It was flawless.

“You weren’t supposed to,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. I reveled in the feel of them. It was such an intimate gesture since we’d only shared our first kiss the previous night, but I welcomed it.

“I’m glad you like it. The shelving is permanent. We’d have to rip the room apart to get it out. This could have really backfired.”

His breath on my skin had my eyes closing briefly before I turned in his arms and kissed him soundly on the mouth. “It’s absolutely beautiful. But I thought, with our budget stretched so thin... this is too much.”

“This is on me.”

“I can’t ask that of you,” I scorned.

“You didn’t, but no good deed goes unpunished. Your sister had a damned fit when she saw this so I’ve been commissioned to do the same for her.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing I would have felt the same jealousy had Dallas’s office been done this way.

“It’s so beautiful,” I whispered as we wrapped up a little tighter in our embrace. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” he whispered back. He was covered in sawdust, and I could feel the dampness of his shirt.

“You’re filthy,” I said, taking in his scent mixed with dry sweat and loving the feel of his hard body against mine.