The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series) (21 page)

I nodded.

“Before you try, I’m going to shift. Once you see me fade, then you can try. If you don’t succeed at first, just keep trying.” His large grin made me feel more at ease. I could do this.

“I’ll wait,” I replied.

It only took seconds for Alexander to dissipate into nothing. One blink, he was there, the next, he was gone. I could still feel him, even in energy form. His presence was becoming familiar already.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes tight. You can do this Aislinn… Come on… Think… Make yourself speed up… Picture your strings, your tiny vibrating strings, and make them speed their vibration… Faster… Faster… Just like Alexander told me, I envisioned myself changing, pictured all my tiny strings speeding to an enormously fast pace. Why wasn’t anything happening?

“Alexander?” I grumbled. “I need you. Something is wrong.” My disappointment made me feel heavier, slowing down anything that I might have accomplished already.

With a blink, he returned. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing’s happening,” I complained. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“I’m not sure.” Alexander paused as if contemplating. “You tried thinking about the change, picturing it? And nothing is happening?”

“Yes.” I rolled my eyes. “Of course I did, but nothing happened… not even a little tingle or odd sensation. Am I doing something wrong?”

“No,” he mumbled, contemplating the issue. “But maybe, since you’re different, there is some other way you need to be trying. Just trust your gut.”

I took a step back and let out a long breath. Alexander was getting on my nerves.

“Don’t get testy. It’s important to stay in a good state of mind while doing this.”

“Sorry.” I focused on my breathing until I calmed down. “What do you mean about trusting my gut?”

“What does your heart say to do? Maybe you need to try your own way. Try different things. I will change again and wait. If you need me, just call again.” Another flash, and he was gone.

What did he expect me to do? I had no idea where to start.

I tried to silence myself internally. Letting my intuition guide me, I drew to the center of my energy… right in the middle.
Okay soul. What do I need to do to make this change
?

Trust
.

Trust what?

Yourself.

Without any more delay, I summoned all the energy inside me and pushed it outward. In my mind, I could see a glowing ball of white light protruding from my chest, with a touch of darkness swirling here and there. Not an evil darkness, simply substance.

The glow of my electric bubble became extremely bright. Even with my eyes closed, the urge to shout at the amount of light creeping in through the cracks in my eyelids was overwhelming. The feeling, however, was like nothing I’d ever experienced. I could feel everything. The trees felt old, even the young ones. They had old souls.

The grass under my feet felt new, like a child reaching and anxious to grow. Impatient almost. The dandelions were unhappy that so many people didn’t see their beauty. The roses, snobby roses, didn’t want to be picked, and grew thorns to keep those who would tear them away from their lovely soil homes at bay. I couldn’t just feel the breeze; I was the breeze.

Everything around me felt like part of me. Like we were connected by strings of an energy web. What one thing felt, I did as well. The feeling went beyond time, as the past, present, and future all merged into one. All that mattered was feeling.

Most importantly, I could feel love coming from everything. Everywhere. The childlike grass wasn’t angry that I squashed it. Even the haughty roses found great pleasure in being as beautiful and sweet smelling as possible for the same humans they didn’t want touching them. Love filled everything. I felt on fire,
love
fire. My mind took in so much that I couldn’t grasp everything.

I could hear the house speaking to itself, to me.

“Long ago were the days when we stood as trees, many trees. We gladly gave ourselves so that you could have shelter from the cold at night.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Rather than words, my question came out of me like waving bands of energy, shifting color as they reached the house.

“Because that is why we are here. Silly girl! What good would being alive be if all we did was stand around and watch those we love suffer in the cold?”

“But I thought you didn’t like to be cut down.”

“We don’t like those who waste our lives for the sake of greed, but to shelter our dear loved ones from the cold… No tree would ever be sad about that! We exist with you, as a part of your family, when you use us for your homes.”

“Well, thank you, then. I appreciate your kindness and sacrifice.”

“You are welcome. As we appreciate yours!”

“What do you mean? What have I sacrificed?”

“We come here, to this life, knowing what is expected of us and what will happen at every moment of every day. But you live in the dark all the time! Oh, the insanity! Yet all of you do it so that everyone else may learn. Every time a sad person has wept in this house, or had feelings of loneliness or desires to give up, I want to shout, ‘Oh, but how lucky you truly are!’ So many of you walk the earth never realizing how important you are. You have come to help us all. We learn from you and through you. You are like a walking vibration, sending out all that you feel and experience like waves for all to share. We trees will gladly do anything to help the chosen!”

“By chosen, do you mean the Ewlishash?”

“No silly girl. I mean humans, of course!”

“But, I thought…”

“Don’t think too hard. Besides, your friend is waiting for you to find him. You are in a different place. Try thinking of him, and you will slow down a little.”

“Thank you.”

“You are most graciously welcome!”

I tried very hard to stop seeing the brightness around me and focus on Alexander. To remember what he felt like. Part of me never wanted to leave this pleasant place. But soon, I focused enough to remember a masculine hand brushing dark-curly locks out of his face, the dimple on his left cheek.

I saw myself on the futon again. Thrusting myself toward him like a lioness. It felt like I had known him for years, lifetimes, rather than weeks. I felt his warmth and smelled his sweet breath. I remembered the heat that surged through me, and I opened my eyes to see Alexander before me.

“That took a while. You had me frightened there. What happened?”

“I’m not sure I understand. How long did that take?” I asked, confused.

“I saw a bright flash of light, brighter than I have ever seen, and you were gone. Not here with me, but not in solid form either. I have never been more afraid in my life. If I had to guess how long you were gone for, I’d say about an hour.”

“An hour! How could that be? I just gathered my energy and became a ball of bright light with little black swirls. Then I could feel the plants and dance with the breeze—as the breeze—and talk to the house. Which, I might add, helped me get to you.”

A long silence ensued while Alexander took in everything I’d told him. While we hovered, I surveyed my surroundings. Things looked brighter than they did in my usual solid state, but not as bright as in the last place I’d been.

Alexander looked like himself too. I had half expected to see thousands of tiny strings with little Alexander faces floating through the air. It was silly, but until I saw him, I had no idea what to expect.

Before I could get too much further in my observations, Alexander spoke, his words clumsy and fumbling.

“What do you mean you were talking to the house?” The look on his face made me fear that I’d done something wrong.

“You told me to trust my gut, so I did, but I couldn’t open my eyes. I could only feel things. It was far too bright to see anything. But that didn’t matter. Feeling something is a much purer form of understanding. I could see so much more clearly without my eyes. The house told me about when it used to be trees and eventually told me that I was moving too fast, and if I focused on you, I would slow down so I could find you.”

“This can’t be.” Alexander’s voice trembled. “This isn’t possible.”

“What?” I gasped. “Did I screw up? Damn it, Alexander! Why did you ask me to trust my gut?”

“Calm down, Aislinn. You did nothing wrong.” He came closer to me, but did not touch me. “You truly
are
special. No one has ever moved so fast that they became pure light. I don’t understand how you did it, but you did. Most of us can travel as light, but not become the light. Not like you did. What did it feel like?”

“Love,” I replied, remembering the softness and kindness coming from all around me.

“I don’t understand.”

“Everything loved us, Alexander. Even the roses who prick us with their thorns, and the breeze that blows, and the grass we trample. There is love in everything, and it feels like fire.”

“I have to admit…” He floated away from me, a serious look on his face. “I have no idea what any of this means. Maybe we should change back and take a break. You need much more practice shifting before we attempt to rescue Jaden. You ready to change into solid form again?”

“Sure, I suppose.” My hopes of getting Jaden back right away died with Alexander’s request. “One more question. If that’s okay.”

“Shoot.”

“How come we’re still talking? Didn’t you say we could hear thoughts when in our changed form.”

“Good question. You see, we can hear most people’s thoughts, but not each other’s. That is why Tirates are so dangerous to us and us them. We can only hear normal humans, and we can’t hear everything. Only the stuff we could possibly help with.”

“What about the Tirates? Can they hear people’s thoughts? After all, they aren’t waiting for a call for help.”

Alexander hovered a while before answering. “I would say yes. In many cases Tirates can hear people’s thoughts. I’m not certain on this, but I would imagine it’s because they do everything for themselves, they don’t respect the privacy of others. Even someone’s personal views or prayers wouldn’t be off limits. Tirates are great tricksters. Can we change back now? We can discuss this later.”

“Okay. Give me a minute. I can’t do this the way you do. I have to think of a memory to slow down again.”

“Do whatever you need to do. I will stay like this until you succeed.”

I tried to think of something slow and boring. Cooper. Perfect. I concentrated on his selfishness, his unwillingness to accept me for who I was, and his horrible habit of telling only half of the truth. The more I zeroed in on him, the slower I became.

By the time I opened my eyes, I felt like a rock. Maybe Cooper had been too slow. I tried to think of someone else, someone not as fast as Alexander, but not as slow as Cooper. Hope. I remembered the first time Hope and I hung out, when she had given me a reading. Gradually, my vibration got faster, enough to return to my usual form.

I was so disoriented that my legs gave out, and I fell. Before I could get a word out, Alexander grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. He grasped both of my shoulders, almost shaking me.

“Aislinn.” He was full of trepidation, his forehead wrinkled. “What happened?”

“What did I do wrong this time? Oh wait… I know. I thought of Cooper.” I let a chuckle escape, my mistake seeming somewhat comical.

“You were gone for four hours!” The tension in Alexander’s voice made my insides knot. How could I not know I was gone that long?

“But I came right to you!” I shouted back frantically.

“No you didn’t! No more changing until we know what’s going on. This is insane! One moment you’re with me, and the next moment you’re not. I changed to solid form again, but I couldn’t see you anywhere. I could hear you, however. You sounded like you were speaking into a canyon. Everything echoed. I’m not sure what’s happening. It’s far too dangerous to go after Jaden yet. We need to discuss what’s going wrong. Promise me you won’t try to go after her. Please…”

“But—”

He cut me off. “You can’t save her if you’re dead.”

“Fine. I’ll go
discuss
things. Again.” I felt defeated. My shoulders slumped forward as we made our way back inside.

AFTERMATH

I
wanted to shout at Alexander to stop freaking out, but I kept my mouth shut. In truth, I had no idea if reaching multiple vibrations was a good thing. According to him, no one had been able to accomplish speeding up so fast or slowing down to such an extreme.

Alexander and Kiera paced the halls, mumbling under their breaths, neither of them looking at me or attempting to include me in their discussion. After an hour of listening to their arguing over how to interpret what had happened, I finally interrupted their conversation.

“Do you two want to know what I think happened? And why the Tirates have taken Jaden?” I waited for them to bite.

Alexander looked at me with compassion in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Aislinn. This must all be very frustrating for you. What do you think happened?”

“I think everything that happened is exactly what should be happening. Kiera said it herself; I’m different. Not like either of you. I can move at different speeds, not just faster, but slower as well. There must be a reason. I only need to remember it… and this is the reason the Tirates have taken Jaden. They must suspect who I am and what I can do. Although I’m not sure how they know so much about me, they seem to have an estimated date of my birth. Something no one else claimed to know. It seems the Tirates know more about me than the Jarwin. Why?”

“You bring very wise questions, and answers, to the table, Aislinn.” Kiera spoke with authority. “Why indeed? We must think about this. Maybe a rescue attempt is not in your best interest at the moment.”

“What?” I was horrified that Kiera would suggest leaving Jaden to her captors even longer. “Why would you say such a thing? I can’t leave her there! Eventually, her parents will realize that she’s missing and call the police. Do we really want them involved?”

“Aislinn,” Alexander interrupted me, furrowing his eyebrows. “I don’t believe Jaden is in any danger. She may be inconvenienced, but not in danger, especially if the Tirates are holding her because of you. I think there is much more to this story. We should really listen to Kiera and gather more information in case this is a trap.”

Kiera broke back into the conversation. “Besides, has Cooper even called you today? Or have Jaden’s family members shown any concern?”

As I thought about it, I realized that it had been a while since I’d heard from him. After so many calls and emails in the first couple of days, why had he not tried calling again? He was far too worried to just sit back and trust me.

“No,” I admitted. “I haven’t heard from any of them.”

“And you probably won’t.” Kiera’s voice was eerily cool, flat with the calm just before the storm.

“Why not?”

“Because the Tirates can suggest things just like the Jarwin can. They would not want the police involved, and therefore would ‘suggest’ to anyone concerned that Jaden simply went on vacation and will return soon. They will even convince Jaden that she was on vacation. The Tirates are not stupid, they know how to play on people’s emotions, and they are quite effective at it.” Kiera got quiet for a moment. “Do you see why a rescue attempt could be so dangerous for you? In your dream, did you actually rescue Jaden?”

“I didn’t actually save anyone.” I couldn’t suppress a sigh. “Alexander and I were both there. We saw Jaden and three men, then we floated out of the building. He turned solid when we were far enough away. I figured maybe I just woke up before we finished the job.”

“Hmmm.” Alexander looked at Kiera and rubbed the top of his head. His face turned very serious, deep in thought. When he looked up, I could see the twisting and turning in his mind. He looked torn.

“Maybe my dream wasn’t a vision of what’s to come. Maybe I astral traveled to her. It wouldn’t be the first time that happened. Jaden may be home as we speak. Maybe that’s why Cooper hasn’t called.” My heart lifted as I realized that a rescue attempt might not be necessary.

“That is a possibility.” Kiera looked to Alexander.

“True,” he smiled, probably hoping to avoid facing the Tirates. “But I think we’d do better to check on Jaden before we assume anything. Maybe Kiera’s original impression was correct. We need to be careful. No assumptions.”

“Right,” I agreed. “No assumptions. How do we check on her?”

“We could ask.” The crooked grin on Alexander’s face told me that he might be up to something.

“No way.” Kiera’s forehead wrinkled. “Out of the question! That is way too dangerous, not to mention completely unreliable.”

“How do you know? They are Drifters. Maybe they would tell Aislinn. After all, she did suggest that the Tirates deserve—”

“Enough!” Kiera cut him off. “No more! Later, if Aislinn wants, she can go talk to them. But not now. It’s too risky.”

The shouting match eventually ceased with a call to dinner. Given our lack of progress, my mood was sour. I’d just sat down to eat the lovely sweet-and-sour tofu Samara had made when I noticed Hope staring at me restlessly.

Suddenly, the awareness that Hope had not been present in the conversation struck me. The look on her face, her eyes darting back and forth between Kiera and Alexander, told me that she might be hiding something. I had come to know her looks well. No one else noticed Hope, locked as they were in their silent battle of opinions.

Hope barely spoke during dinner. Realizing that something was wrong, I followed her upstairs after finishing my meal. Alexander shot me a perplexed look.

“I’m going to check on Hope. I’ll be upstairs.”

Alexander nodded and turned back to Kiera, waving me upstairs.

When I reached Hope’s room, she grabbed my arm and pulled me in, shutting the door softly behind her. She’d been waiting for me. I had never seen Hope look so serious and worried.

“Aislinn,” she whispered. “I think your analysis of astral traveling is wrong. I don’t believe you have visited Jaden. Not yet. I asked my guides today what I could do to help you, and they told me to get you back to your dream. Think really hard. Is there a detail you might be missing?”

“I don’t think I’ve missed anything, Hope.” But before I could finish my sentence, I realized I had indeed missed something. I arrived alone at first. Alexander came later. I turned to Hope, lowering my voice. “Are you thinking I should trust my gut? Not listen to Kiera or Alexander?”

“Maybe,” she admitted uneasily. “I’m not actually sure. All I know is that you missed something from your dream, something that you need to pay attention to. Can you remember anything else?”

“Kind of. I had forgotten until you asked, but when I first arrived, I was alone. The men were questioning Jaden about me. She didn’t know enough to answer them even if she had wanted to. Alexander came after I did, then we left. We never rescued Jaden.”

“I think you have your answer.” Her look was fierce. “If you take Alexander, Jaden will not be rescued. Instead, he will lead you away from the danger. Good for you, maybe, but not for Jaden, or for your soul. You must rescue her. I think you should honor what’s in your life plan, and that’s to help.”

I shuddered at the possibility of having to find her alone. What if I couldn’t get the speed right again? I had absolutely no idea where I would end up. Fear gripped my chest, squeezing me until I had to gasp for air.

“Aislinn?” Hope raised her voice. “Are you all right?”

“No,” I squeaked. “I can’t get my speed right. How am I supposed to find her? Better yet, how will I manage to get away from Alexander? I’ve tried to rescue Jaden before, and now he’s watching me like a hawk.”

“You’ll think of something. Trust yourself. You know that you’re different. What you’ve already accomplished by accident, others have been trying for years. Go with your gut.” Hope reassured me. I felt grateful to have her on my side, acting like my guide rather than a boss.

“Thanks, Hope,” I whispered with a partial grin. “I needed your support.”

“I know.” Her admission bordered on overconfidence, but I knew that to be her perky side slowly returning.

“I should probably go back downstairs before Alexander suspects too much,” I mumbled.

“Whatever.” Hope flopped onto her bed, turning away from me.

“Hope,” I spoke gently. “Are you feeling left out?”

“A bit,” she admitted gruffly, playing with the lace on her comforter.

“Why can’t you join us?”

“I’m not allowed.”

I let out a huge laugh. “What? Why not? Who says?”

“Kiera and Alexander. Apparently, I’m not supposed to see you change.”

“But I’m not changing right now. Are you afraid I’m going to suddenly burst into a cloud of nothing?” I giggled again.

Hope sat up and looked at me, leaning on one arm. “Okay, I will admit, at first, I was a little afraid to see you change. But I’m over it now. I feel such an urge to guide you that it’s killing me to have to sit back and wait. Kiera and Alexander are afraid that you might accidentally change in front of me and I’ll freak out. They have ordered me to sit aside until things are better under control.”

“Oh,” I said, a bit taken aback. “They never mentioned any of this to me. What is it that my soul wants? It seems that would be the more important question.” I left Hope an out, a chance to get her way, but also a chance to turn me down if she really wasn’t up to the task.

Her rolled eyes and large huff of frustration told me she wasn’t biting. Maybe another tactic…

“Is there any consequence to someone seeing me change?” I forced a devious smirk.

“Not really. Not in my case, anyway. I already know about you. I think it’s ill advised to show others who are unaware of your abilities what you can do, but mostly because people tend to overreact and take advantage. I don’t believe there is a rule or anything. Why?”

“Do you really need to ask?”

“Aislinn.” Hope sounded apprehensive, taking a step back.

“Do you want to be included or not? Tell me quick before Alexander suspects something and rushes in here to stop me.” I waited, arms crossed impatiently.

Very subtly, Hope mumbled, “Yes.”

“Good.” My wide smile betrayed my delight at her decision. “Then stand back a little. I’m not very good at this yet. I’m going to attempt to shift a tiny bit, just enough so you will know what to expect. Deal?”

She nodded, but turned white at the same time.

I closed my eyes and tried to think of something to cause just a tiny shift, trying carefully not to focus too hard. I didn’t want any mishaps. Focusing intently on memories of Hope, on telling myself to move just a little faster, I tried to keep my shift under control. When nothing worked, I forced my mind to see myself changing just a slight bit in front of her.

Heat surged through me. My limbs became lighter, and I could feel myself floating. I forced my eyes open to see what had happened. I didn’t want to disappear completely.

Hope’s mouth had fallen open farther than I had ever seen, and she was breathless.

I looked down at my hands. At first, the radiant glow seemed to be shimmering off my body. But then I realized that the glow was not bouncing off of me, but came from within. I was the source of light.

A presence wanted to join me. Alexander must have felt me change and rushed to make sure everything was okay. I didn’t know if he would be able to sense what I wanted, so I thought very strongly,
Stay back! I want Hope to be involved, and so does she. I’m not going after Jaden again. Please, give me a moment, and wait downstairs. I’ll be fine.

I tried to instill a sense of comfort in him, yet Alexander’s energy felt furious. I could feel his rage from far away. I also sensed Kiera lecturing him to chill out and let me do my thing. Finally, the daggers of rage shooting from him subsided, and he changed into solid form again.

I wanted to experiment before changing back. It was the first time I could control it so well. I didn’t know if talking would be possible, but I needed to find out.

“Hope?” The voice that came out of my mouth sounded odd. It was me, I could tell, but I sounded so far away. As if my voice were echoing off a cliff side, or calling through a very long tunnel.

“Yes?” she replied, holding her stomach as if nauseated.

“You can hear me?”

“Kind of… I can barely make out what you’re saying.” Her tone leveled out when she realized that it was still me there in front of her, just trying to have a conversation.

“Okay, just checking. Am I see-through or more solid and glowy?” My voice seemed steady to me, but Hope looked confused. “I’m going to shift back. Hold tight.”

Even if she had wanted to see, her nod came too quickly to ignore. Hope may have wanted to be involved, but seeing was definitely different from knowing.

I closed my eyes again, focusing hard on making myself solid. No glow, no floating, just plain old me. The burn began to fade, and it felt like I had weights around my ankles again.
Gravity, ugh…

“Phew.” I opened my eyes, smiling. “That was easier this time, though I didn’t change all the way.”

The color began to return to Hope’s face. She released her grip on the curtain and shrugged with embarrassment.

“What’s with the curtain?” I giggled.

“I, uh…” Her voice cracked.

“That bad, huh?” I acknowledged her nervousness and answered for her. “Was it scary or just weird?”

“Neither.”

“Well?” I looked at her inquisitively. “What then?”

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Like watching swirls of light circle and loop into and around each other, my own personal fireworks show right here in my room. Are the others like that too?” Hope appeared to be in complete awe.

“I’ve never seen Kiera change. So I can’t say about her. But Alexander doesn’t really look like light. He just appears. Like when you slowly fade something into view. I suppose we’re all different. Now you can join us. There is nothing more to hide.” I winked.

“Maybe we should go tell the others what happened,” Hope offered.

“I think they already know.”

“What? How?” Hope’s eyes opened wide with confusion.

“Alexander felt me change. He thought I might be in trouble and came to me. He’s a bit pissed that I sent him away and probably that I didn’t ask before I did this.” I took a deep breath, not wanting to go downstairs and face him.