The Heartbreak Cafe (49 page)

‘
Well he’s lovely but you can keep it,’ Trish commented. ‘As it
is, there’s no chance of me going down that road any time soon,’
she said, and although there was bravado in her tone (as always)
Nina knew that deep down she was still hurting over the situation
with Dave. A couple of minutes before, she’d looked terrified at
Jess’s appearance, obviously worried that Emer’s friend would deck
her, but of course Jess did no such thing. Nina wondered how things
were between the two women these days.

‘
Trish, I really can’t wait to see you when you have a
baby.’

Her
friend’s eyes widened. ‘So does that mean you’re sticking
around?’

She
turned her attention back to her son. ‘Yeah, I’m sticking around,’
she said softly.

‘
Knock, knock, Mummy,’ Ruth trilled coming into the room,
closely followed by Charlie.

‘
Congratulations Nina,’ he said softly.

‘
Thank you – we might not have got here in time if it wasn’t
for you.’

‘
My pleasure.’

‘
Pleasure?’ Trish repeated disbelievingly and they all
laughed.

‘
Seriously, thank you both. Now come and meet my son,’ she said
to Charlie, who stared in amazement at the little person fast
asleep alongside her.

‘
What are you going to call him?’ Ruth asked.

‘
I’m not sure yet, actually.’

‘
You didn’t have anything in mind?’

‘
Not really,’ she said and Jess knowingly met her gaze,
understanding that she hadn’t picked out any names because she was
trying to distance herself from the baby in case she went ahead and
gave it up.

Ruth
smiled and looked lovingly at Charlie, who seemed transfixed by the
tiny baby. ‘Do you want to hold him?’ Nina asked

‘
No no, he’s so tiny I’m afraid I’d hurt him.’

‘
Better learn fast honey!’ Ruth quipped and the others laughed.
She smiled at Nina. ‘Won’t it be brilliant, our kids growing up
together?’

‘
Does that mean that you’re sticking around too?’ Trish asked
and Ruth nodded and smiled at Charlie.

‘
Well if I could just give you mums one piece of advice,’ Jess
piped up, a grin on her face. ‘Try and give poor Trish a bit of a
break on the baby talk if you can.’

‘
Thank you! Clearly, a woman after my own heart,’ Trish said,
not realising that this was far from the truth and that Jess
herself was already on the road to motherhood. ‘But what about
Glamazons and the Peter Jackson movie?’ she asked Ruth then.
‘Surely you’re not giving up your chance of Oscar glory for life as
a boring old housewife?’

Charlie
and Ruth exchanged smiles. ‘Well, actually Charlie thought a little
gold statue might be a nice addition to the baby’s room, so I’m
going to try and do the movie after all,’ she grinned and Nina
smiled, pleased that the couple had come to some form of compromise
about Ruth’s career.

Just
then, another figure appeared in the doorway and she looked up,
expecting to see Ella who hadn’t yet been in to visit her. But to
her surprise (and considerable confusion) stood her
mother.

Cathy
paused on the threshold taking in the scene around her, before her
gaze finally focused in on the tiny baby lying alongside her
daughter.

‘
Mum…’ Nina whispered. ‘What are you doing here? How did you
…?’

‘
Hello darling.’

Charlie
put an arm around Ruth’s shoulders and with a brief nod at Nina the
two of them left the room. Jess and Brian followed them out, Jess
offering Nina’s mother a small smile. Trish got up from the chair
next to the bed and walked towards the door. ‘Hey Mrs Hughes,’ she
said, glancing sideways at Nina, who recalled that Trish didn’t
know Cathy’s current married name.

‘
Hello …Trish is it?’ the older woman replied. ‘Forgive me, I’m
still trying to catch up with recent events.’

‘
Join the club,’ Trish said as she left.

There was
silence as Cathy – who with her dark hair and petite frame looked
like an older version of Nina – approached her daughter. She took a
small step forward. ‘You could have told me,’ she said
quietly.

‘
Funny I was just about to say the same thing to
you.’

Cathy
inhaled deeply. ‘You mustn’t be angry.’

‘
Funny I was just about to say the same thing to you,’ Nina
repeated. She turned her head away and towards the baby. ‘All this
time … you lied.’

‘
I never once lied. Yes, perhaps I’m guilty of omitting a few
details, as you are,’ she replied, her gaze too resting upon the
baby. ‘I spoke to Ella just now,’ she added quietly. ‘And I gather
you’ve filled in some of those blanks.’

Nina
looked up. ‘How could you have let him do that to me? Leave me out
in the open on the steps of a café? How could you?’

‘
Honey, I’m sorry, but you know it wasn’t like that.’ She
sighed. ‘Look, I have always tried to be a good mother to you and
regrettably, I didn’t take to motherhood the way you appear to have
already. I was a mess, I could barely look at you, I couldn’t even
hold you. Your father thought he was helping – doing me a favour
even.’

‘
A favour? And once you found out what he did, how could you
have forgiven him?’

Cathy
looked pained. ‘Nina, in my defence I went absolutely crazy when I
found that you weren’t in your crib. From that day on, I’ve tried
to never let you out of my sight and I always kept you close to me,
didn’t I?’

Nina had
to admit, that was true. For all her life, Cathy had always doted
on her and had loved her completely.

‘
This was the reason that you two split up then? The reason
that I could never get out of you?’

Cathy
nodded. ‘There was no other choice. I loved Patrick, but after all
of that happened, I realised I wanted you more than anything, and I
knew that a future with your father would be too difficult. With
the way he is, he was finding it all so hard and it wouldn’t be
fair on either of you. After all, a crying baby is only the start
of the trouble and upheavals involved in raising a child. I knew
Patrick wouldn’t be able for it, and so I couldn’t risk
it.’

‘
Why didn’t you tell me he was … different?’

Cathy
sighed. ‘How do you even start to explain something like that?
Hell, back then I didn’t know what it was called or if it even was
anything, and even now nobody can say for sure. I just knew that
Patrick had his ways and despite them, or perhaps even because of
them I loved him.’ She sat on the side of Nina’s bed. ‘Back then,
when first started going out, he was so different to all the other
lads our age, so gentle and restful and … mature I suppose. There
was always something almost … brooding and mysterious about him and
I guess I was drawn to that. Not to mention that he’s deeply
intelligent and as you know, has always had a rather unique way of
looking at life.’ She shook her head. ‘Then when we discovered you
were on the way, the natural thing to do was make things official
and we got married. But right from the outset, once we started
living together, things became difficult. Patrick …he’s such a
creature of habit.’

Nina
nodded. ‘Don’t I know it.’

‘
Still, as I’ve told you all your life, your father is a good
man and he’s always been wonderful to us.’

‘
I still don’t understand how he could just throw me away
…’

‘
It wasn’t like that darling. He loved you back then, same as
he loves you now, but you must remember that he’s not like you, nor
me. Imagine how it would feel if just now if you felt nothing for
your baby, nothing at all while you were holding him. Can you
imagine that?’

Nina
looked at the sleeping face of her son and felt her heart twist.
‘No … I really can’t.’

‘
Think then how your dad feels, everyday. Seeing you, seeing
people he knows well, yet always struggling to feel a connection,
feel close to them. Imagine that. Think of how it would feel if you
didn’t feel anything when you were with those friends of yours who
just left this room.’

‘
I can’t imagine it.’ Nina paused for a moment, musing over
what Cathy was telling her. ‘Does … does he love me at
all?

Cathy
nodded. ‘Of course he does and I can say that without a doubt. Who
do you think called me and asked me to come back?’

Nina’s
eyes went wide. ‘He did?’

‘
Yes. I guess after what happened yesterday … he knew you
needed me. And here I am.’

Nina
tried to take it all in. Given his impassive reaction the day
before, she couldn’t believe that Patrick had even realised that
anything was amiss, let alone taken the initiative to contact Cathy
because Nina ‘needed her’. ‘

‘
Tony must have been pleased,’ she said jokingly. ‘Where were
you?’

‘
Paris and he was fine about it. Actually I think he was
delighted; Paris really isn’t his cup of tea,’ she added wryly and
Nina smiled.

‘
I can imagine.’

‘
Then Ella called me and filled me in on the rest. Look, I’ve
told you before how your father never let us want for anything,
even after we split up,’ Cathy went on. ‘He understood that we
couldn’t stay together and he never hesitated to do anything for
you, provide you with anything and everything you needed. That was
his way of showing he cared, his way of showing he loved you. He
might not be able to do it with hugs and kisses, but he had his own
way. I have all the respect in the world for him Nina, and I would
ask that you try to have the same. You have the ability to do that
and it would mean a lot to me if you did.’

Nina
nodded and seeing her son stir in the crib, she reached across and
lifted him into her arms. ‘I really wish you would have told me
sooner.’

‘
About being left at the café? I didn’t see the point. After
all there was nothing to be gained from telling you about that as
it was all sorted within a day or two. As for the truth about your
dad, well I thought about broaching the idea to you many times over
the years, but the timing just never seemed right. And I suppose I
was worried that the idea might change your opinion of him, and I
didn’t want that.’

‘
I always thought he was just …odd.’

‘
Exactly, and I didn’t see any reason to rock the boat. It
wouldn’t have done either of you any good. But now that you do
know, how do you feel? About what happened I mean.’

Nina
kissed her baby’s forehead. ‘Well, it was a long time ago, there
was no real harm done and I suppose, knowing what I know now, I
guess I can forgive him,’ she said.

Cathy
exhaled. ‘Thank you, I’m relieved. And speaking of keeping secrets,
darling daughter,’ she went on her tone changing, ‘when exactly
were you planning on telling me you were pregnant?’

Nina
smiled sheepishly. ‘You know now.’

‘
Indeed I do. So do I get to hold my grandson?’

‘
Sure.’ She handed the baby to her mother, who held him
gently.

‘
He really is perfect, sweetheart and he looks just like you.’
Cathy paused for a moment. ‘I’m assuming Steve is the
father.’

‘
Yes, but he’s not going to be in the picture.’ She shrugged.
‘His loss.’

Cathy
nodded, apparently realising that now wasn’t the time to ask
questions. ‘Well, if anyone can do this, you can and you know of
course that I’ll do as much as I can to help you. When will they
release you? I can get your clothes and everything sent back to our
place.’

Nina
shook her head. ‘I’m not going back to Dublin, Mum, I’ve decided to
stay in Lakeview.’

‘
In Lakeview? But you don’t even like it there – and I thought
considering …’

‘
No, I have friends here and sort of a job. I can get a place
of my own, maybe a little flat on Main Street or something.
Besides, you’ve done enough for me over the years and you deserve
to be able to live your own life now, without having to be roped in
for more childminding.’

This had
been Jess’s idea, and she was right. All along Nina had been
worrying about disappointing her mother and the baby being an
additional burden on her – so much so that she’d never really
conceived of bringing up the child without Cathy’s
support.

‘
Well what’s to stop you bringing it up in Lakeview?’ Jess had
suggested, when over the course of their chat Nina realised that
she didn’t really want to give the baby up, but at the same time
wasn’t sure if she was capable of raising it on her own. ‘You said
yourself you’re happy there, you’d have a job and lots of friends
who I’m sure would only be too happy to help you out.’

‘
You’re serious about staying there?’ Cathy asked now. ‘Ever
after all that’s happened?’

Nina
nodded, feeling more and more certain by the minute. ‘I think it
might be a good place to raise a child, better than a big city.’
She smiled gently at the baby. ‘And of course little Patrick will
have a playmate soon too, when Ruth has hers…’

‘
Little Patrick?’ Cathy interrupted, her voice catching a
little.