Rule 1:
You must not email or IM The Ex ever again. Take his name off your email list.
Sydney spent the next twenty-four hours before open-mike night burying herself in preparation. Focusing on it helped keep her mind off Drew and Kelly.
Crap,
you just thought about them again.
Okay, so maybe her mind wasn't completely on open-mike night.
So far, she hadn't heard anything else about Kelly and Drew hanging out together. Sydney was beginning to feel like a paranoid idiot. At least she hadn't acted on her anger and paranoia. That had to count for something.
Now she went into the computer lab at school and started up a computer. She had to make flyers for the fund-raiser tomorrow night. The flyers were a last-minute advertising venture. She was going to pass them out at some of the downtown stores.
The event was coming together nicely. The back room at Scrappe was filling up with homemade goodiesâcookies,
brownies, fudgeâand she and Alexia were making chocolate candy later. Dr. Bass, long before she became a successful psychologist, made candy on the side for extra income. She had molds, double boilers, everything the girls would need.
Raven and Kelly were doing no-bake cookies, which they'd picked because neither of them knew much about baking.
The performers' schedule had been full since Tuesday, and there were more people on the waiting list. Sydney was supposed to go on at 8:15
P.M.
She was thinking about bowing out, though, and letting someone elseâi.e., someone with actual talentâhave her spot.
Reading poetry in public, especially amateur poetry, was like putting your soul in front of the firing squad. And would Drew be able to appreciate what she was doing? Would he even care? After all, she was reading for him, so he would know how much of a great guy he was, even if she didn't let him know it while they were going out.
It'd been days since she talked to him last. She wasn't randomly calling him anymore to bug him or hear his voice mail. She was actually really proud of herself. It was almost as if she was finally moving on.
Maybe she was. Had it been The Breakup Code? It helped having something to focus on. The journal really, really helped. No wonder her mother used to spend so much time journaling. It was a huge release, yelling, whining, pouting to the journal pages, and she didn't have to regret spewing her emotional insides afterward because no one was listening.
But tomorrow night, practically the whole school would be listening as she recited a poem. It was both exciting and nauseating, but she'd never backed down from anything.
The flyers done, Sydney hit the
PRINT
button and the printer whirred to life. While she waited, she opened up a Web browser and checked her email.
You have 1 new message.
Probably from Alexia or something.
She clicked on the link and her inbox opened up. She read the sender nameâ¦
Drew Gooding.
Her heart literally skipped in her chest then slammed against her rib cage, beating like a frenzied drum. It was just an email from Drew. She'd opened her email a thousand times before and seen his name there in her inbox.
But this was different. It was different because they weren't together anymore. Because he hadn't emailed in weeks. And she hadn't initiated this. He had.
Clicking the subject line to open the message, Sydney bit her bottom lip and took in a deep breath.
Hey Syd,
I wanted to call, but I wasn't sure if you'd feel like talking. This way, if you want to ignore me, you can just hit the delete button.
I guess I just wanted to see how you've been. I'm not asking you for anything. I just want to talk.
âDrew
Like she'd ever ignore Drew. Not now. Not ever. Yes, she'd been heartbroken about him breaking up with her. Yes, she'd been angry when he hadn't immediately returned her phone calls. But he had been her best friend at one timeâactually, he still was.
There were only a few people in this world who knew Sydney inside and out. Drew was one of them. He'd always been a decent guy, even when he was breaking up with her. That's why she'd fallen in love with him in the first place.
She hit the
REPLY
button on the email and typed in a message, then read it back.
“No, that sounds needy,” she muttered, hitting the delete key and holding it down. She rewrote the email like ten times before she came up with something that sounded upbeat but not too upbeatâand not desperate.
Drew,
Of course I'd want to talk to you. Come to the open-mike night tomorrow night at Scrappe. Be there by eight. We'll talk then.
Sydney
She didn't want to think too hard about this. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but right now she felt breathless and a little light-headed. If Drew wanted to talk, what did that mean?
Alexia stirred the second pot of melting chocolate while Sydney squeezed melted red chocolate into heart-shaped molds.
“So how are things?” Alexia asked. “With the breakup? The Code?”
Sydney shrugged. “I think I've broken, like, every rule.”
“Sydney! Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately. It's not as if I set out to break the rules. It just happened. But I really like the journal. It was a good idea, Lexy.”
Alexia shut the burner off on the stove and poured the chocolate into a plastic squeeze bottle. “What about Kelly and Raven? Have they said anything to you?”
“No. You'd have to ask them.”
“So basically what you're saying is The Code was for nothing? If you broke all the rules⦔
Sydney licked chocolate from her finger and then washed her hands. “No. That's not what I'm saying. I think⦔
She turned the faucet off and stared out the darkened window. Her lips parted as if she was about to say something and then thought better of it. “Never mind. I don't know if I can explain it well, but I think The Code worked. Okay?”
Alexia set the squeeze bottle aside and propped her hands on her hips, her hair shifting around her shoulders. “But you broke the rules. That means it didn't work.”
Sydney rolled her eyes. “You're overanalyzing again.” She filled up another chocolate mold, then, “Well, that should be enough chocolate. Can you bring this stuff to Scrappe tomorrow? I still have flyers to pass out tonight.”
“Yeah. I got it.”
“Thanks.” Sydney grabbed her purse and coat. “Call me later, okay?”
“Sure.” Alexia walked Sydney to the door, said good-bye, then went searching for her parents. She found both of them in the den. The ceiling light blazed, the desk lamp was on, and the curtains were drawn back. Her parents always liked surrounding themselves with light. They said it was good for the mind, especially during the winter months.
“Hey,” Alexia said, dropping into one of the red upholstered chairs. “What are you guys doing?”
“Final revisions on our book,” her dad said. He licked his finger and flipped through several pages. “It's due Monday, so we're in crunch time.”
“And what are you doing?” her mother asked.
Alexia made a fist and rested her face against it. “Nothing. Sydney just left and I'm waiting for the chocolate to set.”
“How did the candy turn out?”
“Fine.”
Dr. Bass grabbed his ceramic mug. “I need more coffee.” He looked to his wife. “You, honey?”
“No, thanks,” she said as she came around the desk and sat across from Alexia. When her husband's loafers squeaked on the hardwood floor in the hallway, she turned to her daughter. “Everything okay?”
Growing up with two psychologists, Alexia was used to talking to her parents about how she felt. However, she was also accustomed to both of them trying to analyze and treat her. It could get annoying, and the older she got, the more she censored what she said.
Still, this whole thing with The Breakup Code and Ben was weighing on her. All she'd wanted was to help her friends and bring them all back together. They
were
hanging out again but had she really helped them?
If they were all breaking the rules, then things weren't really going the way she'd hoped. And in her own love life, she'd only managed to screw things up with Ben. If she couldn't help herself, how could she help her friends?
She'd failed them.
Maybe her mother would have some advice for her. After all, the coping list they'd had her make when she lost her cat had worked wonders. They probably knew something she didn't about the process.
“Remember the coping list you guys asked me to make when I lost Gypsy?”
“I remember.” Her mother nodded and crossed one leg over the other.
Alexia explained how she'd created The Breakup Code for her friends, using the coping list as a model. “At first I thought it was going well, but now it's not working right because they're not following the rules exactly.”
“Honey,” her mother leaned forward and clasped her hands together, “that coping listâ¦it was never entirely about following the rules.”
Frowning, Alexia said, “What do you mean?”
“Coping lists are meant to be distractions.”
“What?”
“That's what coping lists are. If you're focusing on the list, you're not dwelling on the pain or frustration. It's used for depression, death, quitting addiction. It's common among people who want to quit smoking. But I've heard of it used for all sorts of things.”
“So you were tricking me when I lost Gypsy?”
Dr. Bass scrunched up her nose. “No. Of course not. It's not trickery, it's basic psychology.”
Alexia pursed her lips. It did make sense. When she had to go to the doctor's office as a kid and get a shot, before sticking her, the doctor asked what her favorite cartoons were. As she listed her top three, the doctor poked the skin at her bicep
and, surprisingly, it hadn't hurt as much as she thought it would.
“Are your friends getting over their exes?” her mother asked.
Alexia shrugged. “It seems like it.”
“Then, honey, your Breakup Code apparently worked.”
Raven was already shaking and the band wasn't scheduled to go on for another hour. Scrappe was packed, and people were still lining up outside waiting to pay the five-dollar cover charge. Whatever kind of advertising Sydney and the rest of the student council had done, it'd worked. It was almost a miracle. Raven had no idea there were so many people living in Birch Falls.
“Here you go,” she said, handing an older couple change from their twenty-dollar bill. “Let me just stamp your hand and you can head in.”
She rocked the
SCRAPPE
stamp across a rainbow inkpad and pressed it onto the woman's hand, then the man's.
The stamp had been custom-made by one of Ms. Valenti's vendors. No way would anyone be able to replicate the stamp and bluff their way in without paying the cover charge.
A thirty-something woman came forward in line holding the hand of a ten-year-old girl, her face practically glowing with excitement.
“You excited to see the show?” Raven asked, taking the ten-dollar bill from the mother.
The little girl nodded. “I came to see Horace.”
Her mother smiled, shaking her head. “My daughter has a little bit of a crush.”
“Mom!”
“Oh, sorry.” Mom gave an apologetic shrug. “I just think it's cute.”
The little girl let go of her mother's hand and crossed her arms over her chest. “I do not have a crush.”
“I wouldn't blame you if you did,” Raven said, grabbing the girl's hand to give her a stamp. “I think Horace is a pretty great guy.”
The girl looked away sheepishly. “Yeah. He is cool. How do you know him?”
Raven wanted to say she was singing with the band, but she didn't want to jinx it, or worse, have it get back to her mother somehow. Instead, she settled on, “He's a good friend of mine.”
“My brother is friends with him,” the girl explained. She puffed out her chest. “He comes over all the time.”
“Cool.”
The mom held out her hand for a stamp. “My son plays the bass guitar in that band Horace is in.”
“Oh! Hobb?”
“Yeah, I guess that's his nickname.” She smiled, then, “I just know him as Sean.”
Raven blushed, having forgotten that “Hobb” was a nickname he'd acquired in the seventh grade because of his hobbit-like feet. “Sorry,” she said.
“No. I think it's cute.” Apparently, Hobb's mother thought everything was cute. She turned to her daughter. “Ready?”
The girl nodded again, the embarrassment from seconds ago having disappeared to make way for the renewed excitement. “Do you know what time Horace will be on?”
“Eight thirty,” Raven said.
“If you see him, will you tell him Sugar Pop said good luck? He'll know who I am.”
Sugar Pop? Raven wondered.
She just nodded, then took money from the next person in line. “I'll tell him.”
Sugar Pop beamed. “Thanks.”
The student council had decided to decorate for the open-mike night to make it feel like a big celebration. There were gold lights strung up around the ceiling, windows, and performance area. Lisa's mom had made centerpieces for all the tables using glass holders, fake ice cubes, and gold lights on battery packs. It'd been Sydney's idea to get two Glade PlugIns so the scent of fresh coffee mixed with the scent of pumpkin spice.
“Syd?” Lisa said. “Please tell me you brought paper plates for the baked goods?”
“Oh, yeah. They're in my car. I'll go get them.”
“Thank God,” Lisa muttered, hurrying off to tend to something else.
Sydney pulled her car keys out of her pocket and headed through the back room, avoiding the front entrance. Three girls unwrapped the goodies, getting them ready to set out. Sydney said hi as she passed, then headed through the exit door.
As she rounded the corner toward the parking lot she saw Drew, his height putting him above most of the car roofs. Her heart responded before her brain did, thrumming in her chest as if she were an amateur in the relationship department and this was her first crush.
But then a girl came up alongside Drew and they stopped in the middle of the parking lot. At first Sydney thought it was Nicole Robinson because of the strawberry-blonde highlights in her pulled-back, messy ponytail. Then the girl shifted and Sydney saw her face.
It was Kelly.
Sydney moved back, hiding around the corner of the building. She couldn't hear what they were saying from this distance, but Drew couldn't stop smiling and fidgeting. And then they hugged. Sydney's stomach knotted with anger, with jealousy, with disappointment.
But mostly anger.
She made a fist, car keys digging into the palm of her hand as she left her hiding place and stalked through the parking lot.
Kelly was
so
dead.
“I'm not expecting anything,” Drew said. “She might not want to work things out.”
“I don't know,” Kelly said, leaning against her car door. “I think she loves you enough to try anything to make it work.”
Drew hung his head, fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket. “I've really missed her. I could barely make it through a whole day without wanting to call her for something. I even made this list of excuses to use when she answered.”
He laughed, smiling to himself. “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. For everything.” He shuffled over and wrapped Kelly in a hug. “You're a good friend.”
Friend
. She'd had her chance to be more than friends with him, but she couldn't. Not ever. For one, he was too good a friend, and two, she couldn't hurt her best friend. Sydney meant more to her than any guy. All three of her friends did.
“Good luck,” Kelly said, giving Drew a sisterly pat on the back.
“Thanks.” He pulled away, shoving his hands in the pockets of his cargo pants. “I better get inside. She said be there by eight. I don't want to screw up already.”
“Break a leg,” she said. He grinned, heading off to the front of the store.
Kelly grabbed her purse from the backseat of her car, then, after slamming the door shut, hit the
LOCK
button on her car remote. She headed to the aisle of the parking lot, noticing a figure walking purposefully through the cars.
“Hey, Syd!” Kelly raised her hand in a wave.
Except Sydney didn't wave back, she just clenched her jaw, making her way toward Kelly.
Wow.
She looks pissed, Kelly thought, and the words tumbling out of Sydney's mouth next only clarified the observation.
“Youâ¦youâ¦argh! I can't believe you!”
Alexia hurried through the growing crowd to the front door and tapped Raven on the shoulder.
“What?” Raven asked, making change for a customer.
“I just heard someone say they saw Sydney and Kelly arguing out in the parking lot.”
Raven looked up. “Really?”
“I think we should go out there.”
Raven scanned the faces in close proximity. “Hey, Lisa!” she called. Lisa came over, a clipboard in her hands. “I have to go. Can you take over the front door?”
“I still have tons of things to do andâ”
“It's really, really important. Please?”
Lisa rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She took the
SCRAPPE
stamp from Raven's hand and helped the next customer.
“Let's go,” Raven said, pushing her way out the door.
Alexia could tell Sydney was pissed just by looking at her. Heat turned her cheeks bright red. Her hands were in constant motion and her nostrils flared.
“What's going on?” Alexia said as she and Raven came between the argument.
Sydney thrust an accusing finger at Kelly. “She's seeing Drew!”
“What do you mean âseeing Drew'?” Raven asked, keeping her voice calm and neutral.
“Going out with him! Dating him! Hello!”
“Calm down, Syd.” Alexia rested a hand on Sydney's shoulder. The touch seemed to bring her back to reality, and she pursed her lips.
“I'm not seeing Drew,” Kelly said, her voice hitching. She looked like she wanted to cry. “I'm not hiding anything about my love life. Unlike someone I know.”
Raven frowned. “What do you mean?”
Kelly nodded at Alexia. “Is there anything you've been keeping from us?”
Alexia grimaced. “I've been dating Ben!” she blurted.
“Will told me,” Kelly added.
Raven turned to Kelly. “What were you doing talking to Will? That's in violation of, like, all the rules.”
Sydney propped her hands on her hips. “You've been breaking rule twenty-seven for God knows how long.”
“What's rule twenty-seven?” Kelly asked.
“Don't form any new crushes.”
Kelly furrowed her brow. “Who have you been crushing on?”
Raven spread her arms out. “Like I can control something like that! It's a dumb rule anyway.”
“You think it's dumb because you broke it,” Sydney retorted.
“You guys!” Alexia stepped in the middle. “Listen to us. We're arguing over boys and who broke what rules? I created The Code to help you and bring us all back together, but since we're here, arguing with each other, I guess it didn't work at all.”
Everyone fell silent and looked at the pavement. Alexia hugged her arms around herself.
“I wouldn't say it didn't work at all,” Raven said. “I'm over Caleb. Totally.”
Alexia looked up.
Kelly nodded. “I'm over Will.”
“I'm over my old relationship with Drew. I was starting to move on, and then he emailed me.” She couldn't help but grin.
Raven lifted a brow. “He emailed you?”
Sydney nodded. “It sounds like he wants to talkâ¦but⦔
“He does,” Kelly said. “That's what we were talking about just now. You. I was wishing him good luck. We're just friends, Sydney.”
“I know.” Sydney kicked at a rock on the pavement. “I always knew that. I was just⦔
“Totally still in love with him,” Raven supplied. “Which makes you sort of crazy.”
Sydney snorted. “Ha-ha. But you're probably right.”
“I'm always right.” Raven squared her shoulders proudly.
“That's a funny one,” Kelly said sarcastically, pulling her coat tight around her midsection.
They all laughed, then Sydney turned to Kelly. “I'm sorry for accusing you of anything.”
Kelly shook her head. “Don't apologize. I can see how it might have looked to you, but just know, I'd never, ever, do anything to hurt you.”
Sydney wrapped her arms around Kelly's neck. “I know. I should have trusted you.” Over Kelly's shoulder, she motioned to Raven and then Alexia. “Come over here. Get in.”
Raven and Alexia sidled up and Kelly and Sydney pulled them into a group hug.
Alexia smiled, relief running through her. They were her best friends. After all, if they didn't have each other, then they didn't have anyone.
“We're sorry,” Kelly said. “You were right. We were arguing for nothing.”
“I justâ¦I want us to be best friends again and not let boys come between us. I suggested The Code to help
you guys get over your exes. I thought it would bring us closer together.”
“It did.” Sydney smiled across their tight group hug. “In some weird way it worked.”
“I got over Will,” Kelly said. “And I was able to hang out with you guys while doing The Code.”
“It helped me, too,” Raven added.
Sydney ducked her head. “It helped me, even if Drew and I
are
still talking.”
They pulled apart. Alexia debated telling them how and why The Code worked, that it was a diversion tactic. But it didn't really matter how or why it worked, only that it did.
“So, are we all okay?” she asked.
They all looked from one to the other.
“I'm good,” Raven said.
“Me, too,” Kelly said.
Sydney smiled. “I'm okay, except for the fact that I'm supposed to go on in fifteen minutes and read my amateur poetry.”
“Poetry?” Raven asked.
“I know. It'll be lame. But I have to do it.”
“We'll be there for moral support,” Kelly said, the parking lot lights turning on behind her.
“Definitely,” Raven said.
Alexia gave Raven a reassuring squeeze. “
You
have us, too. I just hope your mom doesn't lock you in your bedroom for eternity after this.”
Raven snorted. “Yeah. Me, too.”
“Ready to humiliate ourselves, then?” Sydney asked.
Raven shook her head. “But I guess at this point I can't really chicken out, so let's go!”