Rule 26:
You cannot kiss any boys for at least three months after the breakup.
Sydney clutched the poem in her hand, the paper now crinkled and moist from her sweating fingertips. She swallowed, throat raw from the heat inside Scrappe. She stood off to the side of the performance area waiting for Doug Mulne to finish his stand-up comedy act. He was good, too, the whole crowd was laughing. Sydney would get up there with her dramatic, depressing poem and either put everyone to sleep or drive them out the door.
Doug thanked the audience and walked offstage as Ms. Valenti went up, the performing schedule on a clipboard in her hand.
“And now I'd like to welcome Sydney Howard reading a poem called âI Wish.'”
If you're going to chicken out, now's the time to do it, she thought.
But she didn't, she couldn't. She walked over to the microphone and unfolded the paper.
Taking a breath, she looked out over the crowd, scanning the faces. It seemed like hundreds of people were staring back at her. She couldn't remember what Scrappe's customer capacity was, but it had to be full. She searched the room for Drew. She just wanted to see a familiar face. She found him near the back, his electric-blue eyes standing out of the crowd. He grinned and lifted a few fingers in an uncertain wave.
Sydney smiled, the fear taking a backseat to the desire to get these words out. She started reading.
“I wish I could take it back,
The things I said,
The things I did,
Maybe we'd still be you and me.
We went together,
You and me,
Like rain and rainbows.
But then we were
Just you, just me,
And maybe that's what you wanted,
To find yourself.
To be yourself.
I respect that,
But I still love you.
I still love you and me.
I wish I could take it back.”
When she finished, the whole place went silent and no one moved. The instinct to run coiled in her calves until her mother stood up from her table and started clapping. Then
Kelly and Alexia and Drew clapped and the whole room stood up, hands coming together.
Sydney exhaled, relieved. “Thank you,” she said into the microphone and stepped down, threading her way through the crowd over to her mother. “What are you doing here?”
“Your father and I had a long phone conversation last night in which he chastised me for not being home and spending more time with my only child.” Mrs. Howard took a deep breath. “I realized he was right. So here I am. Perfect timing, too. That poem was beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
“I used to write poetry in my journal when I was your age.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, I still do, actually.”
Sydney wasn't sure what to make of all this. It'd been so long since her mother did anything in her free time that involved Sydney. Would it last, this epiphany?
As if reading her daughter's mind, Mrs. Howard said, “I took a week of vacation so we can hang out, and after that I'm going to try and cut my hours.”
Sydney raised her brow. “Really?”
“Really.” Mrs. Howard wrapped her arms around Sydney. “I love you, honey.”
“I love you, too.”
“Now,” Mrs. Howard pulled back, “I think there's someone waiting for you in the back. How about you go talk to him, and I'll meet you at home?”
Sydney stole a glance across the room at Drew. She desperately wanted to go over there, give him a hug, and beg him to take her back, but she'd have to settle for talking.
“Thanks,” she said to her mom. “I'll probably be home around eleven.”
“Take your time,” Mrs. Howard said.
Nodding, Sydney slipped into the crowd and made her way to the back corner.
Raven could count on two hands the amount of times she'd ever thrown up. She was about to have to move on to her toes because she'd already hurled in the bathroom. She felt beyond nauseous now as she waited offstage for the last performer to wrap up.
“You'll do great,” Horace said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“Yeah, but my momâ”
“As soon as she hears your voice, she'll realize you were meant to do this.” He smiled and came around in front of her. “Ray, I have faith in you. I know you can do this.”
“Unless my mother pulls me off the stage.”
“We'll form a human barricade.”
She snorted. “Oh, by the way, this little girl at the front door told me to tell you Sugar Pop said good luck.”
Color flared on his cheeks. “Oh, right. She's Hobb's little sister. I, uh,” he shifted his eyes down, “call her Sugar Pop.”
Raven laughed. “I thought it was cute.”
He shrugged again. “Go ahead, tell me it's lame.”
“No. It's cute.”
“Well, thanks for sparing me the ridicule.”
The crowd clapped as two comedic freshmen left the stage area, bowing as they went. Raven's nausea flared again as performance time neared. Her mother went to the microphone and announced the band.
“Please welcome the next act, an amateur band called⦔ she looked at her clipboard, “October.”
They'd all decided on the band name last night after an hour's worth of debating. And the brilliance of the name went no further than Dean seeing an old calendar hanging on the wall, forgotten since the month of October, which Hobb decided would be the name of their first album. If there was an album.
“I can see it now,” Hobb had said, spreading his arms out as if reading a headline. “The debut alternative band October hits the Billboard charts with their groundbreaking album,
Forgotten Since the Month of October
. It's sheer brilliance.”
“Is that you talking,” Horace had said, “or the headline?”
“The headline.”
Raven couldn't help but laugh now as she thought about it. She'd had fun last night, although the only reason she was there practicing with the band was because she'd lied to her mother and told her she was studying with Horace at the library.
Hanging out with Horace, Dean, and Hobb was fun, and playing with the band was exhilarating. If only she could persuade her mother to believe it was a worthy hobby.
The guys went onstage and positioned themselves behind their instruments, Horace on the guitar, Hobb on the bass, and Dean behind the drum set. Raven waited offstage just as they'd planned, so her mother wouldn't know she was singing until she actually
was
singing.
Horace started the song off, his guitar riffs pulling the audience in, fingers flicking the pick over the strings. Dean and Hobb came in next, and Raven ran up, taking the mike in her hands.
She avoided looking over where she knew her mother was. If she was going to storm the stage, Raven didn't want to see her coming.
The mixture of the guitar strings, the bass chords, and the drums thumping behind her had Raven's adrenaline pumping through her veins. She forgot about the nausea and the fear of her mother.
Time to jump in.
Raven parted her lips and sang. She closed her eyes, belting out the moody lyrics, tapping her foot in time with the drums. There was no audience, no mother, just Raven and the music, everything coming together perfectly.
The song built, emotion and excitement rose in Raven's gut. This is what she wanted to spend the rest of her life doing. Living a month without this kind of excitement would be like living a life without air.
She needed this.
When the song ended, Raven glanced over at her mother, afraid to see anger and disappointment, but instead she saw a smile on her mother's face and maybe even mistiness in her eyes. And standing right behind her was Raven's dad.
“Wooo-hoooo!” he yelled, fists flailing in the air. His ex-wife shot him a glance, but he just kept shouting.
Ms. Valenti shook her head as if amused and came onstage to announce the next act. But before she grabbed the microphone, she hugged her daughter and whispered, “I've never seen you look so beautiful as you did up here onstage. We'll talk about this at home.” Then she said into the mike, “Give it up for my daughter and the band October!”
The applause was thunderous, claps mixing with hollers and whistles. Raven couldn't help but smile as Horace grabbed
her hand and winked at her. She closed the distance between them, sliding her hands up his jaw, pulling him over.
And then she kissed him.
“Hey,” Drew said when Sydney reached him.
“Hi. Happy belated birthday, by the way.”
He grinned. “Thanks.”
“Here.” She pulled the ring she'd bought him from her jeans pocket and handed it over. “I know we're not together anymore, but I bought it months ago and it wouldn't be right to give it to someone else.”
Twirling the ring in the light, he read the inscription. “To the day I die.”
“It's still true,” she said. “I'll always love you in some way, whether we're
in
love or not.”
“I'll always love you, too.” He slipped the ring on his middle finger. It fit perfectly. “I liked your poem.”
She met his eyes. “Yeah?”
“I liked it enough to want to kiss you right now.”
She giggled. God help her, she giggled. How long had it been since she'd lowered herself to giggling? Probably two years. Since she and Drew started seeing each other. There was something about him now that made her feel girly and carefree.
“So, are you? Going to kiss me?”
“That depends on whether or not you want me to kiss you.”
“You always did plan too much,” she said, and leaned in.
“I did,” he whispered, his minty breath fanning across her face. “And you were always too impatient.”
“I was.” It was time to be completely honest with herself and Drew. She had a lot of things to work on, obviously, but she was willing to change if it made their relationship stronger and made her a better person. But the most important thing was that being single had showed her who she was and what her flaws were. As much as she hated to admit it, being without Drew had been good for her. She was Sydney now, not Sydney
and
Drew. She was her own person.
“So,” Drew said, running his fingers across her jawline.
“So⦔ she echoed.
The audience went wild as the band October hit the high note of the song. Sydney thought this moment couldn't be more perfect, here now with Drew, with Raven's awesome voice sounding around her.
God, she'd remember this for a lifetime.
“Just kiss me already,” she said.
And he did.
Alexia was running on pure adrenaline. It seemed to be in the air tonight like laughing gas, muddling her brain, moving her feet beneath her. Maybe what she was about to do was crazy, but she had to do it. Sydney read her poem in front of everyone, spilling her innermost thoughts through the microphone, and Raven sang her heart out while facing the wrath of her mother.
In the spotlight now, Alexia turned to Ms. Valenti and motioned toward the microphone. “Mind if I make a quick announcement?” She wasn't even sure if he was here, or if he'd even care now, but she had to get it out there.
“Sure.” Ms. Valenti stepped aside.
Alexia went to the microphone and took it in her hands. The stage lights seemed to bake her freckles, beading sweat on her forehead. She tried to ignore the knot in her stomach and the hundreds of eyes trained on her.
“Hi,” she said, her voice sounding too loud through the speakers. “Umâ¦I just wanted to say⦔ She was probably committing social suicide but who cared? “That I
really like
Ben Daniels and⦔
Someone sidled up next to her. She glanced over as Ben took the microphone in his hands. “And I just want to say that I really,
really
like Alexia Bass. I like her more than banana splits and sunny days and Yo Mama jokes.”
Alexia laughed with the audience. Someone started stomping as if they were at a basketball game, cheering on the team. The rest of the crowd joined in and yelled, “Kiss her! Kiss her!”
Ben wove an arm around Alexia's waist, put his other hand behind her head and dipped her, planting his lips on hers as the crowd roared.
Alexia was pretty sure this was the best night of her life.
Kelly cheered with the rest of the crowd as Ben kissed Alexia onstage. “Woo!” She screamed, clapping above her head. This sure was one night to remember.
When she was old and gray and her body was too wrinkly and run-down to fit in a nice pair of jeans, Kelly would look back on this night. Maybe she didn't have a boy like her
friends, but that, actually, was good. She'd been chasing after Will so long she'd forgotten who she really was. It was time to get in tune with Kelly.
When she knew herself again, she'd know who the perfect guy was. And maybe, if she stopped looking so darn hard, the perfect guy would find her.
Rule 25:
Do not ever think that you will never meet or love a guy the way you liked or loved The Ex, because you willâjust give yourself the chance by letting The Ex go.
“So we're all in agreement,” Alexia said, “that we are done with The Breakup Code? And that it's time to lay it to rest?”
Raven stopped scrolling through her iPod, wound the earbuds up, and slipped it inside her bag. “I'm in agreement. I hope I never need The Code again.”
“So you and Horace are doing good?” Sydney asked, before chomping on a few pretzel sticks.
Raven waited to answer while Alexia's mom set a tray down on the coffee table with four glasses filled with soda. “There you go, girls,” she said. “If you need anything else, let me know.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Alexia took a glass for herself.
After Dr. Bass's footsteps disappeared into the kitchen Raven said, “Yeah, we're doing more than good. It's a little scary, actually. But, hey, it's only been two weeks.”
Kelly grabbed a handful of pretzels from the bag on Sydney's lap. “Why is it scary?”
“Because,” Raven shrugged, “I really, really like him and I don't want to screw it up. You guys know how I am.”
“But you can change,” Alexia said. “Besides, Horace is actually a good guy.”
“Okay. Okay,” Raven said. “Enough of me. How are you and Ben?”
Alexia's face lit up and she looked away. “We're fine.”
“Ohhh!” Kelly widened her eyes. “By the look on your face, you're more than fine!”
“Our Alexia is finally in love,” Sydney said.
“Stop, you guys!” Alexia thumped Kelly with a throw pillow. “I'm not in love just yet, so calm down.”
Sydney laughed, drawing their attention.
“And what about you? How are you and Drew?”
With a demure expression she said, “We are so good that I'm in agreement that I'm through with The Breakup Code. I don't think I'll need it anytime soon. Drew and I are better than we've ever been.”
“She's definitely in love,” Raven said. “Look at how googly-eyed she is.”
“Shut up!”
“Kelly?” Alexia said. “Are you in agreement? Should we lay The Code to rest?”
Kelly slipped her worn four-leaf-clover rubber band off her wrist and set it in the shoe box they'd deemed The Code Casket. “I may be the only one of us still single, but I'm in full agreement that we put The Code away for safekeeping. I'm never going back to Will Daniels. I will never, ever sacrifice
myself to please a guy. That's definitely the number one thing The Code taught me.”
Sydney threw her clover rubber band in The Code Casket. Raven threw hers in, too. Alexia put a copy of The Code inside the box and shut the lid. “Ready then?” she asked, glancing from one girl to the next. Sydney and Raven both nodded.
Kelly hesitated. She was over Will. She was excited about being single, but that didn't stop her from worrying that she'd never find someone new. That she would never love someone as much as she'd loved Will.
Stillâ¦The Breakup Code had worked. She wouldn't need to use it anymore.
“Kelly?” Alexia said.
“I'm ready.”
“Wait, wait,” Sydney said. “Let me set up the camera. This is an important snapshot. A picture to remind us of the day we were no longer heartbroken. Don't you think?”
They all nodded.
“You three crowd around The Code Casket,” Sydney instructed as she jumped up with the camera. She hit a few buttons, checked the angle in the camera's screen, then set it on the coffee table. She ran over and got in next to Kelly. “Three seconds.”
“All together,” Alexia said.
“As Women of The Code,” they said in unison, “we hereby lay The Breakup Code to rest.”
The camera flashed.