At the moment Kent felt like taking one of Jeremy's stones and shoving it down the detective's throat.
Try that for a theory, Pinhead!
But he could hardly breathe, much less reach over there and wrestle the man's mouth open.
“Well, I surely do appreciate your time, Bob. Maybe we will meet again. Soon.” The detective smiled.
With that he stood and left, leaving Kent soaking under the arms and frozen to his seat.
This was a problem. Not just a little challenge or a bump in the road, but the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it kind of problem. Coming here had been a mistake. Coming back to this
country
had been a mistake. Going to the bankâthat had been idiotic!
Still, there was no evidence, was there? No, no evidence. It was Pinhead's theory. A stupid theory at that.
Then a simple little picture popped into his mind and crushed what little hope he had left. It was a picture of Lacy, sitting on her couch, hands folded, knees together, facing Pinhead. She was talking. She was telling her little secret.
Kent dropped his head into his hands and tried to still his breathing.
KENT STOOD by the pillar just outside Macy's in a Boulder mall on Monday evening and stared at the woman, his heart beating like a kettle drum, his palms wet with balls of sweat.
Sometime on Saturday, he'd come to a new realization about life. It was a notion so profound that most people never understood it properly. It was the kind of truth one encounters only in moments when he is stretched beyond all limits, as Kent had been after that little encounter with Pinhead. And it was simply this: When you really got right down to it, life sucked.
The problem with most people was that they never really got right down to it. They lived their lives
thinking
of getting right down to it, but did they ever actually get right down to it? No.
“Next year, Martha, I promise, next year we're gonna sell this rattrap, buy that yacht, and sail around the world. Yes sir.”
People's dreams acted as a sort of barrier between life and death. Take them awayâlet people actually live those dreamsâand you would be mopping up the suicides by the dumpster full. Just look at those few who did live their dreams, like movie stars or rock starsâthe ones who really have the money to get right down to itâand you'll find a trail of brokenhearted people. Brokenhearted because they'd discovered what Kent was discovering: When you really got right down to it, life sucked.
That fact had delivered Kent to this impossible place, standing by the pillar just outside Macy's Monday evening and staring at a woman, his heart beating like a kettle drum, his palms wet with balls of sweat.
Lacy sighed, obviously unsatisfied with the discount rack's selection. She walked toward him. Kent caught his breath and turned slowly away, straining for nonchalance. In the hour that he had been tailing her, she had not recognized him, but then she had not studied him either. Twice she'd caught his eye and twice he had brushed on as though uncaring. But each time his heart had bolted to his throat, and now it was doing the same.
He bent for a
Shopper's Guide
on a bench and feigned interest in its cover. She walked by him, not three feet away. The sweet scent of lilac drifted by his nostrils, and he closed his eyes. It was all insanity, of course, this stalking. Not just because someone might notice the sweating man staring at the beautiful single woman and call security, but because he was indeed
stalking
. Like some kind of crazed loony, breathing heavily over a woman's shoulder, waiting for his chance.
He had driven to Boulder that afternoon, parked his car a hundred yards from Lacy's apartment, and waited. She had returned from work at six, and he had spent a good hour chewing at his nails, contemplating walking up to her door. Thing of it was, Gloria kept traipsing through his mind. For some reason not quite clear to him, he was feeling a strange guilt about Gloria. More so now, it seemed, than when he had spent time with Lacy before the robbery. Perhaps because then he had had no real intentions of pursuing Lacy. Now, though, faced with this crazy loneliness, he was not so sure.
She'd left the condo and driven here. His greatest regret in stalking her was the decision to leave the bottle of tequila in the car. He could have excused himself to the bathroom a dozen times for nips. But returning to retrieve the bottle from the car would take far too long; she might disappear on him, a thought suddenly more unnerving than staying dry for a few hours.
He twisted his head and watched her from the corner of his eye. Lacy wore blue jeans. She seemed to float along the shiny marble floor, her white running shoes gliding along the surface, her thighs firm beside her swinging brown purse. The lime-green sweater was perhaps a cardigan, resting loosely over her shoulders, its collar obscured by her blonde hair. Her lips seemed to pout, smiling on occasion; her hazel eyes darted over the selections; her fingers walked through the clothing carefully.
Kent watched her walk toward the food court. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and stepped cautiously after her. She wandered past shiny windows, casually glancing at their displays without bothering to enter. Kent stepped into a sports store, grabbed a beige flannel shirt from the sale rack, and hurriedly purchased it. He went straight to the shop's dressing room and changed into the new shirt before hurrying past a confused salesclerk to catch Lacy. The red shirt he'd worn went in the nearest trash bin.
You see, Lacy, I've learned a few tricks. Yes, sir, I'm a regular sneaky guy. You gotta be sneaky to steal twenty million, you know.
He found her in the food court. She sat cross-legged, slowly eating an ice cream cone. He watched it all while peeking around a mannequin in Gart Brothers Sporting Goods across the lobby. There was nothing sexual in his desireânothing perverse or strange or obsessive. Maybe obsessive. Yes, actually it was obsessive, wasn't it? He blinked at the thought and removed his eyes from her. How else could you characterize stalking a woman? This was no date.
Goodness, you're losing it, Kent.
A wave of heat washed down Kent's back, and he left the mall then, feeling small and puny and dirty for having driven there. For having peeked at her from the shadows. What was he thinking? He could never tell her the truth, could he? She would be compelled to turn him in. It would be overâall of it.
And Gloria! What would Gloria say to this?
She's
dead,
bozo!
He drove back to Denver, wondering why he should not take his own life. Twice he crossed overpasses wondering what a plunge through the rail might feel like. Like an amusement ride, falling weightlessly for a moment, and then a wrenching crash. The grave. The end. Like Bono had said, in the end it's all for the grave anyway.
Kent shook his head and squeezed his eyes against the mist blurring his vision. He grunted to clear his throat of its knot. On the other hand, he wasn't in the grave yet. He had money, more than he could possibly spend; he had freedom from any encumbrances whatsoever. No wife, no children, no debt, no nothing. That was worth a smile at least, wasn't it? Kent smiled, but the image staring back at him from the rearview mirror looked more like a jack-o'-lantern than the face of a contented man. He lost the charade and slouched in his seat.
The evening took a turn for the better near midnight, two pints of tequila later. He lounged with glass in hand on the black-leather recliner facing a black television screen in the sleek apartment. The memory of his little stalking trip to Boulder sat like an absurd little joke on his brain.
Because of some obsession. Some pearls of wisdom from a Greek named Bono. Yes indeed, life sucked.
Well, it would be the last time he stalked anyone, he thought wryly. He would drive off one of those overpasses at a hundred miles per hour in the Lincoln before doing anything so foolish again. He had the world at his fingertips, for Pete's sake! Only an absolute loser would slink back for another peek.
“Peekaboo, I see you. My name's Kent, and I'm filthy rich. Would you like to share my life? Oh, yes, one small nugget for the hopperâmy life really sucks, but not to worry, we will soon be in the grave anyway.”
Kent passed out on the leather recliner sometime before the sun rose.
LACY SAT alone in Wong Foo's Chinese Cuisine Thursday evening, nibbling at the noodles on her plate. Indirect lighting cast a dim orange glow across her table. A dozen heavy wooden carvings of dragons stared down from the low-hung ceilings. Cellulose walls lent an aura of privacy to the room. Glasses clinked with iced drinks, and voices murmured softly all about her, behind those paper partitions; somewhere a man spoke rapidly in Chinese. The smell of oriental spices circulated slowly.
A man sat alone in a booth ten meters to her right, reading the paper and sipping at noodle soup. They had noticed each other shortly after he had been seated not ten minutes earlier, and his bright blue eyes reminded her of Kent at first sight. He'd smiled politely, and she'd diverted her gaze. Freaks were everywhere these days.
You don't know that, Lacy. He may be a regular Clark Kent.
Actually, all men were pretty much looking like freaks these days.
Lacy dipped her spoon into the hot-and-sour soup and sipped at the liquid. She was having some difficulty shaking Kent's image.
Why
she could not shake his image, she could not fully understand. The first week was understandable, of course. The second, maybe even the third as well. But he had been gone for over a month now, for heaven's sake. And still he left tracks all through her thoughts every day. It was nonsense. Perhaps it was the thought of him living like a king after having the audacity to rub his plans in her face.
She peered at the man reading the newspaper and found him looking at her again. Goodness. She shot him a contemptuous grin this time.
Not too bold there, Lacy. He might get the wrong idea.
Looked like a decent-enough fellow. Blue eyes like Kent'sâ
See, now, there I go again
âand a face that reminded her of Kevin Costner. Not bad looking actually.
He had his head buried in that paper again, and Lacy steered her mind back to the plate in front of her. She had not heard from the detective again, and neither had she made any attempt to call him, because as the days passed, the notion began to sound somewhat misguided. She certainly had found no absolute collaborating evidence suggesting Kent's theft. And even if she had, she'd made a promise to him. Not that she
should
be bound by any promise after what he had done. There had been four incidents of mismatched bank statements, but no one seemed to give them any mind. Printer error or something. Whatever it was, it had corrected itself.
Yes indeed. The only thing that had not self-corrected was her mind. And she was beginning to think it might need some professional examination. Lacy lifted her fork and savored a bite of gingered chicken. The dragons glared down at her with glassy yellow eyes, as if they knew something she did not.
They were not the only things staring at her, she thought. The pervert was staring at her again. From the corner of her eyes she could see his face turned her way. Her pulsed spiked. Unless he wasn't really staring at her at all and it was just her imagination.
She turned slowly to him. No, it was not her imagination. He yanked his eyes away as her own zeroed in on him. What kind of guy was this? She should possibly leave before he began wagging his tongue at her.
Then his blue eyes rose to meets hers again, and they held for a long second. Lacy's heart paused for that second. And before it restarted, the man rose from his seat and walked toward her.
He's leaving,
she thought.
Please tell me he's leaving!
But he didn't leave. He walked right up to her table and placed a hand on the back of the chair opposite hers.
“I'm sorry, ma'am. I couldn't help but notice you sitting all alone.” He smiled kindly, quite handsomely actually. But then Ted Bundy had been quite handsome. His voice came like honey to her mind, which surprised her. A thin sheen of sweat beaded his forehead. She imagined him breathing heavily in the corner. Lacy stared at the stranger without speaking,
unable
to speak really, considering the contradictions this man represented.
He attempted a smile, which awkwardly lifted one side of his face. “I know this may sound unusual, but do you mind if I have a seat?” he asked.
A hundred voices screamed in unison in her head:
Don't be a fool! Go wag your tongue at some streetgirl! Beat it!
The stranger did not give her a chance to speak her thoughts. He sat quickly and folded trembling hands. She instinctively pulled back, stunned by his boldness. The man did not speak. He breathed deliberately, watching her in awe, with a slight smile curving his lips.
Goodness! What was she thinking, allowing this man to sit here? His eyes were striking enough, like blue sapphires, wide and adoring.
God, help me!
“Can I help you?” she asked.
He blinked and sat a little straighter. “I'm sorry. This must seem awfully strange to you. But . . . does anything . . .” He fidgeted uncomfortably. “I don't know . . . strike you as odd?”
Lacy was finding her senses, and her senses were telling her that this man rang bells that echoed right through her skull, as if it were churchtime at the cathedral. They were also telling her that this man had a few loose bells himself.
“Actually,
you
strike me as odd. Maybe you should leave?”
That took the curl out of his gimpish smile. “Yeah? Well, maybe I'm not as odd as you think. Maybe I'm just trying to be friendly, and you're calling me odd. Is that what you think of friendly people? That they're odd?”
Tit for tat. He didn't seem so harmful. “People don't normally wander around Chinese restaurants looking for friendly conversation. Forgive me if I sound a bit concerned.”