The mountain air, without the sun, turned chill, and at last I crossed the Western Road and knocked upon my sister's gate.
It was opened by the two guardsmen I had seen there before. As soon as they saw who I was, they pulled out their paper talismans, shouting, "The Tengu Lady!"
Calmly, I said to them, "If you please, I have returned and would like to see my sister Sotoko at once."
"Yes! Yes! We will go tell her you are here immediately." They ran away from the gate as if I, myself, were a demon. It occurred to me, as I waited, that I had neither hid my face behind my sleeves nor bowed to deflect my gaze. I was becoming nearly as unsuitable for Court as Suzume.
Sotoko came running down the wooden steps and into the garden. "Mitsuko! You are all right!" She hugged me and stepped back to look at me. "We were so worried about you. Riko sent a letter to Papa demanding that he call off the tengu at once."
"He sent a letter to Heian Kyo telling father I was here?"
"Yes. I could not dissuade him. Who knows what our father will think when he reads about you and the tengu, neh?"
"Who knows…" I murmured.
"But come in! This seems to be a night for guests arriving. There is someone else here whom I think you know."
"There is? Who?" I did not think I was ready for more surprises.
"Come in and see for yourself."
I followed my sister into her house, trying not to step on the fur rugs, when I saw a familiar face. "Dento!"
The old ubasoku, wearing his usual gray robe and tiny boxlike hat perched on his forehead, bowed, smiling. "Mitsuko-san. From what I have been hearing, your life has been as adventurous as ever. Your sister was just asking for my advice as to how to rescue you from the tengu. I told her that, given what I knew of you, it might be the tengu who have to be rescued."
I smiled awkwardly but did not know how to reply. Sotoko set out cushions for us to sit on, and a servant brought tea and rice cakes. I spoke pleasantries to Sotoko, reassuring her that I was well, that I had only been a guest in the tengu village for a time, and that they had not harmed me.
Sotoko said, "That is good, for they certainly gave us a fright in the forest, neh?"
"They were just playing tricks," I said. "They would never have hurt you or Riko."
"And Riko? You should have seen his face, Mitsu-chan, he was so pale when he finally found me. And he babbled about your finding the shrine and how it would be impossible to fix and why we should forget the whole thing. When he saw you flying away with the tengu, I think he was almost relieved to see you go. Yesterday he rode off to his father's castle on some urgent business or other. He would not tell me what."
"I am so sorry he was frightened" was all I could say.
"Surely you cannot be blamed," said Sotoko softly. She turned to idly watch the servants lighting the evening lamps.
I turned to Dento and asked, "But how is it you come to be here? When I spoke with you at Sukaku Temple, you were going to a distant village in order to cure a fever."
Dento shook his head. "Alas, I arrived at the village too late to be of much use. The fever that afflicted the fishermen had passed on, and all I could do was say prayers for the dead and offer protective prayer-talismans to those who had survived it.
"As I was leaving the village, a cohort of Lord Tsubushima's men was passing by on the Tokaido. Some of them recognized me and offered to let me travel with them for my safety and because they believe traveling with an ubasoku brings good luck. I stopped at Sukaku Temple, but you had already left for Heian Kyo. So I rode with the warriors all the way back here to Tamba Province. I remembered you had said that your sister now lived in this lodge, so I came here to ask if she had seen you."
"And now you can see me for yourself," I said.
"Yes." Dento tilted his head to regard me from a different angle. "You have changed again. More serious changes this time."
"He is right," said Sotoko, peering at my face. "I think you have become nearly half barbarian, as I am."
I did not answer, for surely they would have found the truth far worse.
An odd sort of wavering scream pierced the air, and Sotoko sat bolt upright. A servant entered on her knees and bowed. "My Lady, your horse is restive in his stall and paces and kicks at his gate. We thought you might-"
"Yes, I will come at once," said Sotoko, standing. "This is very odd," she said to me. "He is usually such a calm, gentle beast." She hurried off after the servant.
Dento and I sat in awkward silence for some moments. At last, the old monk said, "Perhaps her horse hears or smells something that disturbs it. But tell me, has your effort to repair the shrine proceeded as you had hoped?"
I shook my head. "No, Dento. It has all been…very strange. My father could not help me rebuild the shrine because he does not own the land it sits on. Lord Tsubushima, who owns the land, will not help me because… the shrine did not belong to any kami of stone or trees. It marked the tomb of an ancient Kofun priest-king named Lord Chomigoto. Whose tomb Lord Tsubushima's ancestors plundered many years ago."
Dento gasped and rocked back on his heels. "Chomigoto! I have not heard that name since I was a child. Please. Go on."
"Well, because it took me two years to return to repair the shrine, his ghost appeared and made more demands of me: that I was to build him the grandest shrine the world had ever seen and replenish his tomb, which had been robbed by Lord Tsubushima's ancestors. And to find and gather the descendants of those who lived in a village by the shrine, so that Lord Chomigoto might be venerated again. By… various means, I again spoke with Lord Emma-O in his chambers because I felt Lord Chomigoto's demands were unfair."
Dento gasped again, and his eyes went wide. "Such courage."
"I was aided in my claim by Jizo-bosatsu…"
"Jizo-bosatsu," whispered Dento, awestruck. "You are truly traveling in exalted circles, Mitsuko-san."
"I suppose so," I said, blushing a little in embarrassment. "But because Lord Emma-O was still angry with me for trespassing in his chambers before, the demands were only reduced by one. Now Lord Chomigoto's worshipers will have to rebuild his shrine, but I still must replenish the tomb and gather the descendants of his worshipers."
"But I can help you, after all!" said Dento. "At least with part of it-for I am the last living descendant of the villagers who lived near that shrine."
I felt suddenly cold all over, as if turned to ice. "You? You
"Yes!" he nodded with enthusiasm. "The last. I remember now the stories my mother used to tell me. She managed to escape the slaughter of the other villagers by hiding. After being driven from the mountains, my mother earned her living as a traveling…well, never mind what. I was born in a wagon on the Tokaido. But she told me stories of how my father and the ancestors before him had served the shrine of a mighty king, whom they had to appease so that he would not curse them. It would seem that Chomigoto-sama was not a kind monarch, and it was rumored that he died from poisoning by one of his followers. My ancestors served him more out of fear than loyalty."
"But when I told you about the shrine," I said, still stunned, "why didn't you know that… that…"
"Who it belonged to? Because the way my mother had described it, I had thought Chomigoto's shrine was a big impressive structure, ornately carved and filled with fine things. As a young man, I returned to the mountains to search for the village and the shrine, but believed I had never found them. Indeed, I began to believe my mother had made up those stories. Had I known what you would find, Mitsuko-san, I would have warned you away from it or would have stayed by you to give more aid. But that is all clouds after the rain, one might say, for it would seem that, with me, your troubles are solved."
"No," I said softly. "They are not."
"What? Why, Mitsuko-san? Why do you look so sad?"
"Jizo-bosatsu arranged this debt so that I might have a lifetime to complete Lord Chomigoto's tasks. In this way, I might, over the years, do enough holy work to avoid Lord Emma-O's wrath when the time came for me to leave this world. But now the tengu have done me the favor of replenishing his tomb. And now you… you…"
"I have spared you the task of searching for his followers' descendants. Ah, Mitsuko, had I known. I am so very sorry. This is terrible. I had no idea-" Dento stood, took a step toward me, then turned away, muttering, "There is always a way around trouble. There must be a way."
I glanced up at him, wondering why an ubasoku monk would quote a tenet of Tengu-Do.
But before I could ask, he prattled on. "Do not despair, Mitsuko-san. I will go meditate and pray, and perhaps between the two of us we can discover a solution. Yes. I will say nothing of this to your sister, never fear. Yes. Please excuse me." Dento bowed and, anxiously muttering to himself, went away to a different part of the house to pray.
Sotoko had left the shoji open when she left, and I stared out at the now dark and starry sky beyond it. I could see the tops of pine trees swaying in a silent breeze. I almost thought I could hear Lord Chomigoto uttering a hiss of satisfaction. But perhaps I just imagined it.
I sighed and turned my head away and stared at a lamp's flame dancing nearby. Watching it produced a state something like meditation, which was calming.
What does it matter
, I thought,
if I must now leave this world for Lord Emma-O's dungeons? I have already disappointed my family. I am bound up in foolish hopes and desires that will surely lead to nothing and only cause trouble. Very likely, my father believes me already dead. Very likely, Prince Komakai is betrothed to someone else. What does it matter if I must soon be taken from this Land of Illusion?
It mattered to me, I realized. There would be so much I would miss. Who knows what karmic burdens another turn on the Wheel of Rebirth would bring? I was just getting used to the burdens of this life. And its joys. I would miss my sisters and brother. I would even miss Suzume. And Goranu. More than anyone, Goranu.
"I do not think Tengu-Do can find a way around this problem," I murmured. "It is harder even than mortals living among tengu. There is no way to leave one's life and yet stay." Tears blurred my vision, distorting the shapes in the lamp's flame. I saw in the new patterns the woman from my dreams. She was dancing and shaking sakaki branches, as always. Then she turned, and I saw her face. And I knew who she was. She was me.
I gasped and fell back against the floor cushions.
Blessed Amida, what is the meaning of this vision?
I wondered.
How can I-
And then it struck me, all at once, what it meant and what I must do. I jumped up and ran to where Dento sat, chanting his prayers.
ATTACHMENT
A spiny seed has stuck itself onto my sleeve. Where should I take it?
"Dento!" I cried.
He looked up from the pile of herbs he was burning in a brazier. "Yes? Mitsuko-san, what is it?"
"I think I have the answer. I know what I can do to avoid Lord Emma-O's judgment. But I need your help."
"Do you? Please tell me how I can assist you."
"I have just had a vision. I saw the woman dancing with sakaki branches again. But when I saw her face, it was me!"
"Was it?" said Dento. "And what do you think this means?"
"Please, Dento-san." I flung myself to the floor prostrate before him. "Please take me as your acolyte. Make me an ubasoku, as you are!"
"Well," Dento murmured, fingering his wispy white beard. "Well, this is an interesting turn to things."
"You told me the women of my clan, when we were Nakatomi, could become ubasoku. You said you thought I, perhaps, had the same abilities they did. Won't you please teach me?"
"I… I would be honored to have so noble an acolyte to teach, Mitsuko-san. But I confess I do not see how this will help you in your troubles with Lord Emma-O."
"The Judge of the Dead told me that as punishment for my trespassing, he would have to end my life. But an ubasoku, just like any other monk or nun, must cut all ties to his previous life, neh? He must change his name, and cut his hair, and live separate from human activity, neh? Is that not like dying?"
"Well, yes, in a manner of speaking-"
"Then, perhaps, I can bargain with Lord Emma-O. Perhaps he will accept an ending to my present existence. Fujiwara no Mitsuko will no longer be, and I shall become a new person, completely different from what I ever was. Do you think he might accept this?"
"Bargain with the Judge of the Dead?" whispered Dento in wonderment. "Avoiding your trouble by becoming someone else? What has made you capable of such unusual thoughts, Mitsuko-san?"
"Please do not think ill of me for this," I said. "But Goranu has been teaching me Tengu-Do. It is he-and a rice cake girl named Suzume-who has prepared me for such thinking."
"Indeed?" sighed Dento. "How extraordinary. It must be fated that you become an ubasoku. For I will tell you something very few people know. Many ubasoku receive training from tengu. That is where we get some of our… unusual abilities. Even I had such training, long ago."
I sat up. "You did?" So that is how he knew the tengu teaching that there is always a way around trouble. "But I thought you were suspicious of tengu, and you did not even recognize Goranu when you first met him."
Dento smiled. "It is always wise for a mortal to be wary of tengu, particularly a monk like me. They are always up to tricks, no matter how friendly they seem. I had never seen your friend Goranu before. I only got to know one of them well: my tengu-sensei, whose name was Kuroihane."