The Honor Trilogy: Books One, Two, and Three of the Honor Trilogy (42 page)

The private concert is a nice touch and Honor is blushing for the whole forty-five minutes, because before each song, Keith says something flirty to her. Like how beautiful the birthday girl is. How stunning she is in silver. How long and luscious her legs look in that short dress. By the end of the concert, I’m ready to jump on stage and knock the guy out. But then Shelby gives me this look that makes me cringe. Her mouth is set in a straight line, and she’s shaking her head. I realize that she must know why I look like I’m about to kill someone – she knows I’m jealous over Honor. This – after just kissing Shelby.

Sending Shelby an apology with my eyes, I receive a sad smile in return. In a perfect world, what the heart wants, the heart would get. But the world isn’t perfect, and the heart ends up longing for what it can’t have. And so we learn to live with the broken heart.

It seems Shelby, Eli, Honor, and me are all learning the same heart-breaking lesson. If, of course, I’m even reading Shelby right. It’s possible she just sees me as a sad sack who’s fell for someone I can no longer have.

When the band is finished with their first set, Keith heads right for Honor, even though she’s holding my hand. She lets it go to give him a big thank you hug.

“You were awesome,” she gushes. “Thank you so much. This was the best birthday ever. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says seductively, which pisses me off. “Can I get you a drink?” he asks, despite the fact that he sees me standing with her.

“Oh. No thank you, I’m good.”

He shrugs and walks away. Asshole.

“Let’s go by Tam and Shel,” Honor suggests.

“’
kay.”

Tyler comes up to us while we’re talking with Tamlin, Shelby, and Jennifer, the guitarist. “Hey, guys.” He addresses all of us. “How’s it going?”

“Good,” we all kind of say together.

“You guys were great. Thank you,” Honor tells him and Jennifer.

“Thanks,” Jennifer answers.

“You should come to one of our concerts,” Tyler says, but Jennifer elbows him in the ribs.

“Ow.” He looks at her. Her eyes are bulging, and she’s trying to silently tell him Honor can’t go to concerts.

Honor gets it. “It’s fine. Maybe one day,” she says, though I know she’s just trying to be nice.

“So,” Tyler starts, in an attempt to change the subject, “where’s that big guy you were sometimes with, Tam.”

Now Tamlin widens her eyes to shut Tyler up. Poor Tyler. He can’t seem to say anything right. I know the feeling.

“I mean that guy with the orange Challenger. Why are you looking at me like that?” Tyler asks all frustrated.

Tamlin sighs and drops her shoulders. “He left town. Haven’t seen him.” Tamlin grabs Tyler by the arm and pulls him away from us.

“So…awkward,” Jennifer lends.

“Yeah, this whole night has been awkward,” Shelby adds, intentionally not looking in my direction.

“Oh, you gotta see this,” Jennifer says to Shelby before pulling her over to the stage.

“What was that all about?” Honor asks me.

I take her hand again and walk her back to our seats. “About Storm?”

“No, I mean with Shelby. Why did she say this whole night has been awkward?”

Crap. “I have no idea. Come on, let’s go sit.” I place my hand at the small of her back to lead her to the chairs. My hand is on fire. I want to take her in my arms so damn bad.

“It’s just odd that she’d say that. I think tonight has been amazing.” Instead of sitting, Honor chooses to lean against the railing. “Look at the Statue of Liberty. I remember when my mom took me there when I was little…hmm…come to think of it, we had to leave as soon as we went inside. I wasn’t feeling well…wow…now I know why. Now I know why I got sick every time my parents took me anywhere there was a crowd.” Honor sits down. The ship seems to have gotten darker – Honor lost her smile.

“What is it?” I ask, sitting and putting my hand on her arm.

“Being an empath sucks, Ethan.” An unexpected comment from a usually pleasant girl.

“Yeah, it does. It’s finally gotten to you, huh?” My hand moves to clasp hers.

“Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love that I can help people. But I hate that it hurts so much.”

“I’m surprised it took you this long to admit it.” Squeezing her hand, I bring it to my lips and kiss it. “It’ll be okay. Maybe after you get your new heart, you’ll feel a little better.”

Her silence tells me she may have lost hope on getting that new heart. Tonight was supposed to be a happy experience for her. I have to bring her back to happy. “Hey, Honor. You’re
gonna get a heart. I truly believe that.”

“I don’t doubt it. I just…how different is it going to be? I mean…I’m still going to hurt. I still have to live in solitude. I don’t want that anymore, Ethan. And how am I going to stop myself from saving someone that hurts? That goes against everything I believe.”

I let go of her hand and take her in my arms. “I think the first thing you have to do is learn to love yourself enough to say, ‘I’m too important to risk my life. My family is too important to me to put them through this again.’ I think it’s time to practice saying no.” Running my hand down her hair, I inhale her coconut scent and ignore my building passion. “It won’t be easy, but, baby, you come first now. You have to start thinking that way…eventually, it’ll become second nature to you.”

Honor keeps her head on my shoulder. “What about you, though? You stopped blocking everyone out. It can’t be that easy.”

I pull back and hold her face between my palms. “I only opened up because of you. I can easily close myself off again. Don’t worry about me.” With my hands still cupping her face, I use my thumb to caress her jaw. “Try not to worry at all…about anything.”

“Thanks,
Eeth.” Honor subtly pulls back, so I drop my hands.

“Listen, Honor, I’m starving. I haven’t eaten yet. Do you want to come with me, or I can get you something?”

“No, I’m good. If you don’t mind, I’m just going to stay here. Is that all right?”

I twirl a piece of her hair in my hand. “Of course it is. Be right back.”

**

After several minutes of choosing food from the buffet, Honor comes running down the stairs from the upper deck. Out of breath, she shouts, “Ethan, come…” she grabs my elbow and yanks me forward. “You need to heal her. Hurry.”

I drop my plate on a table and follow her up. “What? Who?”

A bunch of the ship’s employees fly by us with first aid equipment and what looks like a defibrillator.

“What the heck is going on, Honor?” I ask, grabbing the handrail for fear we’ll be knocked down by the passing employees.

“Jennifer. She hit her head.”

We reach the top of the ship, where everyone who is on the ship is convened near the stage.

“She’s unconscious,” Honor cries. “Come on.” She pushes us through our little group.

“Please let us work on her. We’re turning the ship around. We’ve called an ambulance to meet us,” one of the ship’s workers informs us.

“But Ethan can help.” Honor looks at me. “I should have done it already,
Eeth, but…but I was doing what you said. I was saying no. Now…now they’re not going to let you help.”

I place my hand on Honor’s shoulder. “You did the right thing, Hon.” I drop in front of Jennifer, who I’ve only just met tonight, and put my hand on her unconscious head. I look to the woman with the first aid kit. “Just give me two minutes. If I can’t help, you can take over.”

I don’t wait for her response. With both my hands on either side of Jennifer’s temples, I close my eyes and concentrate on her injury. Breathing deeply, I shut out everything around me and force my energy into her. The weaker I begin to feel, the stronger I know she’s becoming. I’m just about to pass out when I hear, “Oh my god, she’s up. Oh my god, Jenn.”

When I lean back, I fall into Honor’s arms but remain conscious. “Thank you, Ethan,” she whispers.

“What the hell?” I hear one of the band members say. “How the hell did you do that?”

“It was probably just a slight injury,” Hunter says. “She was probably coming out of it anyway.”

“No way, man,” another band member insists. “She was out. She fell off that stage backwards. Hit her head hard.”

“I’m fine,” Jennifer says, sitting up. “Really…but…was I unconscious?” She’s rubbing her head, confusion apparent on her face.

“Uh, yeah,” Keith says. “Ethan, here, just made you un-unconscious.”

“It was no big deal, really,” I insist, trying my best to avoid too many questions. “I just rubbed her head. She was probably ready to come to anyway.”

The women who work on the ship are staring at me. "What
are
you?” one of them asks.

Honor is rubbing my head. “Are you okay,
Eeth?”

“I’m fine.” I stand and pull Honor up with me.

We walk away from the mumbling group and go sit on the side.

“How come you’re not all drained and stuff? You looked like you were going to pass out and then you were fine.” Honor is grasping my hand.

“Probably ‘cause of that immortal thing,” I say softly. “My heart must be stronger. I don’t really know.” I caress her hand with my thumb.

“So all I have to do is kill a person or two and I’ll be fine.” She chuckles.

“Kill an empath and you’ll be golden.” I laugh along with her.

She shakes her head.

“I should have let you kill those guys who shot Storm. Then you wouldn’t be going through this.” I run my other hand up her arm. The fight within myself is damning. I want to hold onto her forever. It kills me that she doesn’t want the same thing.

“Yeah. Like I could’ve pulled the trigger.” When Honor leans her head on my shoulder, I pretend for the moment that she’s mine.

Until she whispers, “I wonder where Storm is. I hope he’s okay.”

By the end of the night, the atmosphere is back to normal and the band’s second set consists of some covers of dance tunes. Though I’m not one for making a spectacle of myself, Honor insists I join them on the dance floor. We all spend more time singing along than dancing, but it is exactly what we need to end Honor’s birthday bash on a happy note.

“Thank you for tonight, Ethan. I needed you. Thank you,” Honor tells me as I’m hugging her goodbye at Tamlin’s father’s limousine. “You really should have taken Tam up on her offer to drive you in. Then you wouldn’t have to drive home alone,” she adds while her arms are still slung around my neck.

“Yeah, well, because of how we left things the other night, I wasn’t sure you wanted me driving in with you.” I glide my hand down her silky hair.

“I always want you around, Ethan. You have to know that.” I’m rewarded with a chaste kiss on the cheek. Not really what I want, but it’ll have to do.

“Yeah. I do.” I grasp her wrists behind my neck and hold her hands out in front of us. “I’m glad you had a good time tonight, sweetheart. You needed this.”

“Yeah.”

I leave her with a kiss on her forehead and watch her get into the car, wishing like hell I could spend all night with her.

**

Since school is out and I don’t have a job, I lazily sleep until noon the next day – waking up only because my cell rings. It’s Honor. “Good morning, beautiful.”

“Ethan,” she whispers, and it sounds like she’s crying. “I’m hiding in the bathroom. The CIA is here. They’re asking my mom a lot of questions. Can you come over right away?”

“The CIA? What for?” I scratch my head, yawning and not quite awake.

“About me. Healing all those people. Please, Ethan. Storm’s not here. I don’t know who else to call.”

Fuck. Storm. Her first choice. “Yeah, babe. I’ll be right over. Just stay in the bathroom. Let your parents handle it.”

“Hurry. Dad’s not here. He’s working.”

“Just stay where you are.” I hang up, grab my keys, and head right over.

I don’t even knock. Mrs. Stevens is sitting on the couch biting her lip and looking nervous as hell. “Oh, Ethan,” she says surprised. “Um, this is
Mr…”

“Frank Burke,” he says, offering a hand to shake.

“Ethan.” Shaking his hand, I’m suddenly afraid. The fear is not emanating from him. It is my own emotion – brought on by the fact that this man is cocksure and presumptuous. And he’s only offered his name. Wiping my sweating hands on my jeans, I risk offending him by wiping off his handshake.

“Um, Mr. Burke was asking about Honor. I told him she’s in the shower. He said he’ll wait.” Mrs. Stevens’ attempt to be cryptic is weak at best. Her wide eyes give her away.

“Sure. Is Mr. Stevens home, ma’am? I came to ask him for his help on my car.” I rub my neck and hope the man doesn’t seem to notice my panic.

“He’s due home any minute.” Taking that to mean she’s already alerted him, I head up to Honor’s room, letting Mrs. Stevens know I’ll wait upstairs to leave them to their conversation.

“Honor,” I whisper, turning the knob on the bathroom door.

“Oh my God, Ethan.” She gives me such a tight hug, she leaves me breathless. “What are we
gonna do? He’s gonna take me away. I’m so scared.” Her tears are warm and wet on my shoulder.

“No,” I assure her, rubbing her back. “No. He can’t just take you away.”

“He’s the government. They can do anything they want,” she cries.

“Not without your parent’s consent, Honor. You’re still a…”

“I’ll be eighteen a week from today, Ethan. What am I gonna do? They can take me.” She paces the bathroom floor, wiping her eyes with ripped-up tissue that she’s probably been using since the man got here.

I rip her some fresh toilet paper and hand it to her. “No. They can’t just do that, so calm down. We’ll get a lawyer. I’m sure your dad is thinking about that right now. Please, baby, you
gotta stay calm. You need to protect your heart.” I close the lid on the toilet, sit down on it, and pull Honor onto my lap. “Breathe, Honor.” Holding her face in my hands, I look her in the eye and breathe, silently asking her to follow after me. “You need to breathe. Calm.” She inhales. Then exhales. “Again, baby.” Honor does as I say. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”

Tired to the point of exhaustion, Honor closes her eyes and rests her head on my shoulder. Taking my own deep breaths, I try to take my own advice to calm down.

Sometime later, there’s a knock on the door. “Honor. It’s Dad.” He lets himself in.

“Oh, Daddy.” She goes running to him.

“Shh. It’s okay, sweetheart. You don’t have to talk to him. I told him we’re getting a lawyer. He’s gone.”

Honor clutches her chest and goes down.

I catch her before her head hits the counter.

“Honor. Honor.” Looking directly in Mr. Stevens eyes, I cry. “I…I…I don’t think she’s breathing.”

He grabs his phone and calls 911. “I need an ambulance now.” He looks at me. “Go get my wife.”

When Mrs. Stevens and I get back upstairs, Mr. Stevens is giving her chest compressions.

“Oh my god, Honor.” Mrs. Stevens cries.

“Leanne,” he says calmly. “Go outside and wait for the EMT. Just go outside,” he directs. She listens.

I watch as he gives compression after compression, stopping every so often to breathe into her mouth. My heart feels like it’s about to stop, and I’m not so sure it’s just because I’m taking on Honor’s symptoms. I’m afraid I’m going to lose her.

“Let me try, Mr. Stevens. Please.”

He backs away and allows me to take over. I place my hands on her heart, concentrating harder than ever to bring her heart back to life. I don’t continue the compressions. I just press my palms against her unmoving chest. Leaning down, I kiss her mouth and breathe in the words, “You got this, Honor. Breathe, baby.” With my hands on her chest and my lips on her mouth, I will her heart to start beating. And as if I’d just performed a miracle, which on some level, you can say I did, her chest rises and her mouth spits out a warm breathe.

I collapse on top of her on the floor.

I don’t pass out. My body is just exhausted from seeing Honor’s lifeless form on the floor. I thought that was it. I’d never see her again. My arms and legs are trembling, and I am still lying with my upper body wrapped around Honor – her warm breath rhythmically blowing in my ear.

“Ethan.” Mr. Stevens interrupts the moment by pulling me off of her. His hand attaches to her chest and he closes his eyes. “Oh thank God,” he utters, his voice shaky and hoarse.

Both of us are kneeling at her side when the paramedics come running up the stairs. We jump up off our knees and get out of their way. “Her heart gave out,” Mr. Stevens informs them. “She’s on the waiting list for a new one. It’s beating now, but it wasn’t…”

“Her heart was stopped?” the one man asked.

“Yes. She had no pulse,” Mr. Stevens answered.

“It started beating on its own?”

Mr. Stevens and I look at each other. “No,” Mr. Stevens lies. “I gave her CPR.”

“Good,” the man says, hooking Honor up to some portable machines.

Watching them pull her up on the gurney makes me sick to my stomach. Her eyes are only fluttering open, she’s still not fully conscious, and I want to throw up. Where the fuck is Storm?

And where that thought comes from, I’ve no idea, but I feel if he were here, Honor would be okay. If Storm were here when the CIA had shown up, Honor wouldn’t have collapsed in the bathroom. He’d have known what to do to calm her enough to subdue her heart.

But he went and ran away.

And I’m at a loss for what to do to keep Honor safe.