Authors: Heather Thurmeier
Chapter Twenty
Olivia glanced up at the sound of the key in the front door. Aidan was at a soccer game and not supposed to be home for another hour—exactly the reason she’d put on a chick flick while she had enough time to wallow alone in cheesy love story goodness.
He walked into the apartment and casually tossed his keys onto the table, as if his face weren’t swollen and bruised. Springing from the couch, she went to his side.
“Are you okay?”
“Peachy.” Retrieving a bag of peas from the freezer, he pressed it to his cheekbone.
“Seriously, if you don’t tell me what happened, I’m going to add another bruise to your collection. Do I need to call the police?”
She sat on the couch beside Aidan while the hero from the movie declared his undying love for the heroine, and how he’d been completely devoted to her for years even when she didn’t reciprocate.
Yeah, right. Like that shit would ever happen in real life.
Blinking back a fresh wave of tears, she clicked off the TV and tossed the remote.
“You don’t need to call the police and I’m not interested in rehashing the story.”
“Too bad. Spill it or I make you bleed again.”
“I’d like to see you try,” he grumbled.
She poked him in the side, playfully, but his faced scrunched up. “Oh, shit. Sorry.” Guilt instantly flooded her, followed by a hearty dose of anger at whoever had done this to him. “Did you even make it to your game?”
“I made it onto the field and then was promptly sent home.”
“What? Why?”
“Seems fighting is prohibited in soccer. Shame too, since I’m pretty sure I was winning.”
She laughed. “What did the other player do to make you fight him?”
“Why don’t you call and ask him yourself?” Aidan groaned as he rolled up to his feet, heading toward the bedroom.
Suspicion itched at the back of her brain as she followed him. “Who did you fight?”
“Sawyer.”
She sucked in a quick breath. If this was how bad her brother looked and he claimed he was winning, how bad did Sawyer look?
It doesn’t matter. He deserved it.
“Why?”
“Why do you think?” He sank into his bed and pulled the covers up.
“This wasn’t your fight.” She folded her arms across her chest.
“Someone had to defend your honor.”
“My honor didn’t need defending,” she said, her annoyance at the situation in general peaking.
“If that’s how you really feel, then why haven’t you listened to his messages or returned his calls?”
She stepped back into the hallway, distancing herself. “That’s none of your business.”
He raised his head and peered at her with one eye slightly smaller than the other because of the swelling. A dark bruise had already formed on his cheekbone. “Apparently it is.”
She started to close the door.
“Olivia,” her brother called, stopping her.
“What do you need?” It annoyed her that he had taken it upon himself to fight her battle, but she didn’t want to see him hurting either. “More ice? A pain killer?”
“I need you to listen to his messages. I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s a mess. Because of you. Because of how he feels about you.” He cringed as he adjusted his position on the bed. “I would love nothing more than to pummel him again for the fact that he hurt you, but you’re hurting him, too. Just listen to what he has to say, then decide what you want.”
He flopped back and she closed the door, ending their conversation. She didn’t want to talk to him about it anymore. Not when he blamed his actions on her.
It wasn’t her fault two meatheads got in a fight, and it certainly wasn’t her fault that Sawyer was hurting. If he’d talked to her about the baby, about their relationship—fake relationship—and about the travel, none of this would have happened.
Pushing the guilt aside, she made up the couch and flipped off all the lights except the one on the end table. Grabbing her phone, she flipped from one website to another, randomly reading half an article then getting bored and reading something else. Against her better judgment, she clicked on her text messages, ignoring all of the previous ones from Sawyer. She wasn’t ready to read them. Instead she typed the one thing she couldn’t get off her mind:
Are you okay?
She nibbled her bottom lip, waiting for his reply. Thoughts raced through her mind. Was Sawyer hurt badly? Did he get home okay? Did he have to go to the hospital? A moment later her phone vibrated.
I’ll survive the bruises. My broken heart’s another story.
Yeah, right.
She wrote back quickly, hitting send before she thought it through. Getting into it with him was not her intension, now or ever. She’d simply wanted to make sure he wasn’t lying in a hospital room on her account.
If you cared enough to check on me, then care enough to listen to the voicemails I left you. Please.
She didn’t reply. Typing a response involved knowing what she wanted, which she had, an hour ago. She wasn’t so sure anymore. Seeing his name on the screen made her chest feel as if
she’d
been someone’s punching bag. Her heart ached with longing for him.
Still there?
Should she answer him or pretend she’d walked away from her phone, gone to sleep, anything?
A moment later, a new text came through.
There’s so much I need to say. So much you need to hear.
I gotta go.
She typed frantically as her vision blurred. Whatever he wanted to say, whatever he wanted her to hear, she wasn’t playing along. Couldn’t. Her heart was already broken by his rejection. Nothing he said now would heal it.
Wait.
Bye Sawyer.
Olivia clutched her phone to her chest as tears streamed down her cheeks. Why had she initiated the conversation with him? What good would it do? Their agreement was over, null and void. He wouldn’t get the cabin, and she would never get a job reference. Basically they’d wasted two months of their lives for nothing but a couple romps in the sack and a whole lot of heartache.
And a baby.
But even as she thought it, she corrected herself. There was so much more to Sawyer than a good time in bed, although sex with him had been beyond fantastic. That wasn’t what she missed most, though. It was the late night TV and popcorn on the couch. Shared conversation on the commute to and from work. Laughing with his family while cuddling together in front of the campfire. Those were the things she’d long for.
Her phone vibrated again, and she hesitated before flipping it over to read the message. It was simple—words she needed to hear but never thought she would. And yet, not at all the words she wanted to hear.
I’m sorry.
Forcing a hitched breath into her lungs, she went to voicemail. If he could apologize, then she could listen. Forty-seven messages waited for her. The man was nothing if not persistent.
By message three, she knew one thing to be true—she’d grossly overreacted to the announcement that he had to travel. He’d done nothing wrong. This wasn’t his suggestion or his choice. He didn’t want to leave her and the baby behind. Marcus had made it a condition to the agreement. But that didn’t change the fact he was leaving her. She didn’t want a boyfriend, real or fake, who would come and go as the wind blew him. She wanted someone by her side, always. Maybe this trip for Marcus was temporary, but so was a future together, since nothing in his numerous voicemails led her to believe he’d changed his mind on the idea of commitment or bachelorhood.
Sawyer still wanted right now. She still wanted forever. Even if she’d never get the forever she wanted, after listening to his voice she knew she had to try to get him the forever
he
wanted. And she knew exactly what to do.
…
Sawyer hated the antiseptic smell of the hospital, but holding the tiny, warm, eight-pound bundle of sweetness in his arms definitely helped to make the place less terrifying. He wasn’t a baby kind of guy, but this one didn’t completely send him running for the hills either. Maybe it was because the child was his niece. His family. Or maybe it was because she was only a few hours old and couldn’t do anything but open her eyes for a few seconds at a time and make the world’s softest cooing noises. How could anyone not like that?
Surely it had nothing to do with him becoming a pathetic, heartbroken ball of mush since he’d fallen in love with Olivia and subsequently lost her forever. It absolutely had nothing to do with the fact that there was a little mound of sweetness growing inside of Olivia either. One he’d helped create.
The pain of his bruised face had almost completely disappeared the second he’d seen her name pop up on his phone after his fight with Aidan. He’d even convinced himself she would listen to his messages and come running back to him, but it had been a week and nothing. No more texts. Not a single call. Nada.
“Where’s Olivia?” Gran asked.
Should he tell them the truth or hold off a little longer and pray she came back to him before the birthday party next week?
“She woke up with a scratchy throat and didn’t want to risk passing anything on to the baby,” he said. It was the first excuse he could think of that would be accepted without hesitation. “She’ll come by and see Misha as soon as she’s feeling better.”
The baby opened her mouth in a big yawn then smacked her lips together, wiggling in his arms. “She’s doing something. I don’t know what. Want her back?” he asked. He was comfortable holding the baby for a few minutes, but if she needed anything besides a comfy arm to curl up in, then she needed her mom.
“Hopefully Olivia will be feeling better in time for the party,” Gran said.
That could be a viable excuse if needed.
“I hope so too. I know she’s been looking forward to another weekend at the cabin.”
“I’m sure she is,” Tyler said, a note of distaste in his voice.
The two men eyed each other, but neither spoke the secrets they were privy to. Neither could afford to be out of Gran’s good graces so close to the party.
“Well, why wouldn’t she? We have a fantastic time together,” Gran said.
“I gotta run.” His voice fell as he said the words, hating himself for lying, not once, but multiple times. “I’ve got to get back to work. I’ll stop in and see Misha again soon. Make sure you get some rest, Sophia.”
Before waiting for a reply, he bent and gave the baby a quick kiss on the head then walked out the door.
Gran and Gramps wanted to leave the cabin to someone worthy, and there was a time, not that long ago, when he would have said he was that person. Could he still say that now? He’d swindled his way into Olivia’s life, making her an offer she couldn’t refuse, all so he could benefit. Then he lied to his family about his relationship. They had opened their hearts and their home to her, all because he’d told them she was his. But she wasn’t his, never had been.
This latest deceit felt even worse. Instead of coming clean, he’d lied again, faked her illness, and was even planning on using it for the party so he’d still have a chance to make the cabin his.
They wanted to leave the cabin to someone who would have a family someday. Now he was faced with that very real future and he had no idea if he even wanted it. Did he want a future with Olivia and the baby?
He was a poor excuse for a grandson and an even worse human being.
He had to tell his grandparents the truth. It didn’t matter if they gave him the cabin anymore. The only thing that mattered was making things right with Olivia. Maybe if he admitted the truth about his feelings for her to himself, to her, and to his family, he’d be able to salvage their relationship before he lost her and the baby forever.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sawyer slumped in a deck chair and downed his first shot. There’d be many more of these before the party was over, but it was early and he needed to pace himself. Being a slobbering drunk wasn’t an option. As much as he wanted to let the alcohol numb his pain, he had to face this moment head on, sober.
Another week had gone by and Olivia still hadn’t contacted him. Obviously his heartfelt apologies on her voicemail weren’t enough. Aidan hadn’t spoke to him since their fight on the field either. He’d called them both, multiple times, but hadn’t gotten through to either of them. Seemed Olivia wasn’t ready to forgive him and his friend was following her lead.
He’d even shown up at the apartment but wasn’t allowed up. Waiting outside during times when he thought they’d be coming or going hadn’t done any good either. Somehow they always managed to elude him.
In one half-baked scheme, he’d destroyed a lifelong friendship, was about to alienate himself from his family, and managed to lose the only woman he’d ever loved.
Bravo. Brav-fucking-o.
“You look in good spirits today,” Tyler said, before bursting into deep belly laughter. “I can’t even say that with a straight face. She’s gone, isn’t she? Left you high and dry when you needed her the most.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He planned on telling the truth but the thought that Tyler would get to hear it first disgusted him. “Why don’t you be a good father and go cuddle your baby.”
“I did that already. In front of Gran. Besides, Misha is eating and I can’t exactly help with that part.”
The end was near and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He’d have to suck it up and let go. He’d still have the memories of his family, with or without the cabin. Besides that, after bringing Olivia here, he wasn’t sure he could picture himself at the cabin without her. Every time he thought about coming here in the future, she infiltrated his thoughts. And not only her—the baby, too, a tiny Sawyer-Olivia hybrid, toddling around on the beach, splashing in the waves, sleeping in the back bedroom that he would convert into a nursery. Coming here now would remind him of everything he’d lost.
“Enjoy it, man. I hope the money helps you out with Misha.”
Tyler’s smile wavered. “You’re giving up?”
Sawyer shrugged. “I’m done. You win. Embrace it.” He grabbed a beer and left Tyler stunned.
“If everyone could gather around please,” spoke someone into the microphone. “Grandma and Grandpa Sterling would like to make an announcement before we cut the cake.”
Instantly his palms grew sweaty. He’d hoped to speak to them privately before they dealt with the cabin, but it appeared he’d lost his opportunity. Maybe it was better this way. Then everyone could hear his story firsthand instead of it filtering through the usual gossip chains, morphing into something different along the way.
Gran and Gramps took their seats at the head table. Their smiles calmed him momentarily before he remembered he would be the one who ruined their day. As they were being handed the microphone, he stepped forward, intent on saying his piece and telling the truth before they made their final decision.
Fair would be spilling Tyler’s secret to sell the cabin at the same time, but it wasn’t Sawyer’s place to say anything. And the sooner he stopped caring about the cabin the better, no matter how much it hurt to let his home go.
“Before you make your announcement, there’s something I need to say.” He stepped through the crowd. His grandparents turned to him, surprise on their faces.
“Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait,” Tyler said, glaring at him.
“Relax. This has nothing to do with you. This is all about what I’ve done.”
“What do you mean, dear?” Gran asked, sitting forward in her chair.
“It’s about Olivia and me, and our relationship.” He paused unsure of how to say exactly what he needed to.
“Where is she? I haven’t seen her yet today. Is she still ill?”
“I’m here, Gran,” Olivia said, rushing up to the head table, her arms wide for a hug. “I’m so sorry I’m late. Traffic was terrible, and then I got lost. Really, I couldn’t be more embarrassed. I brought you these.” She thrust a bouquet of calla lilies and orchids at them.
“Thank you, dear. You’re just in time. Sawyer was about to tell us something important. About you and him. Sounds exciting.” Her eyes twinkled with excitement.
“He was? Oh, um, well, yes. Perhaps he should do that another time.” She stared at him as if trying to turn him to stone, but he wouldn’t be silenced.
In fact, the sight of her recharged him, surging him with energy and confidence. He’d waited weeks for a chance to tell her how he felt, and now he could. And she’d have to listen to him here.
“What I have to say needs to happen now.”
“Really, sweetheart, let’s not bore your family with our…issues.” She twisted her hands together as if they were the source of her discomfort. Sadly, he was the one who got that honor.
“Olivia and I aren’t really dating.”
She gasped, as did a few other people. Gran, however, looked calm as ever.
“Sawyer, really. Now isn’t the time!” Olivia’s voice had an edge of nervousness to it, but there was something else behind it too, almost as if she were holding back her emotions and nearly failing. The glistening in her eyes told him he was probably right.
“No. Now. When I found out you wanted to leave the deed for the cabin to one of us, I was thrilled. I’ve loved the cabin since I was a child. It’s where so many of my memories of my parents are. It’s the only place I really feel close to them, and it’s been the only home I’ve known since their accident.”
“We know, dear.”
“But then you said you only wanted to leave it to someone who would pass it down to their children and my hopes crumbled. Why on earth would you ever leave the cabin to a bachelor like me when your other choice is Tyler, Sophia, and Misha? I knew I was sunk. I couldn’t compete.”
He paused, taking a deep breath.
“No,” Olivia whispered, moving toward him, but Gran’s hand on her arm froze her in place.
“And then I realized I could compete if I had a relationship that might lead to something more in the future. At least, it had to look like I had a relationship. So I made Olivia an offer she couldn’t refuse.
“We were pretty convincing too. It was fun, in a way, playing the part of the loving boyfriend, bringing my girl around to family dinner so I wasn’t the only single one for a change. It felt nice. Comforting. And then it was more than that, and before I knew it, I’d fallen for her. This girl, who was only supposed to be my temporary girlfriend until after this party, wormed her way into my heart and took root there.”
The ache that had been in his chest for weeks dissipated slightly, evaporating like fog in sunshine. This was right. Telling everyone what he’d done and how he honestly felt was the thing he should have done all along.
“I know telling you this will cost me the cabin. I’ll miss the summer weekends here, the moon reflecting off the lake on a clear night, the smell of campfires, but it’s okay, because it’s only a place. And it’s a place that will never be the same, because now whenever I think of the cabin, I imagine Olivia there with me. But she won’t be. I screwed up.”
Tears pooled in his eyes, but he didn’t bother to try and blink them away. What was the use? There would only be more to follow. May as well give in, finally. He’d spilled his heart and soul for everyone to see, what were a few tears in the mix?
…
Was this really happening? Had she walked into an episode of some alternate reality television show?
“What the hell are you doing?” she asked in a whispered yell as she went to Sawyer’s side. “Are you out of your mind? You’ve blown any chance you had at scoring the cabin.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“So this last three months was a waste? It was all for nothing?”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“What the hell would you say then? I’m out of a job and an apartment and now you won’t even get the cabin. Sounds like a win to me!” She scolded him, barely controlling her voice so the others around them couldn’t hear.
“Are you finished yet, Sawyer?” Gran asked.
He shrugged. “For now. I’m sorry I interrupted your announcement.”
“Quite alright. I’m glad you’ve got that off your chest. I’m sure it’s been bothering you for some time.”
Olivia hugged herself, ready for the scolding.
“As you all know, we came here to celebrate our birthdays as well as to gift the deed to the family cabin. I’m sure interest is piqued after Sawyer’s heartfelt confession. So without further ado, we’ll get on with it. When we decided to do this, we hoped to leave the place to someone who would one day pass it down through the family. And while we still hope that is the case, we have realized the person who takes over for us has to love it as much as we do. Sawyer, the cabin is yours.”
“Are you kidding me, Gran? Seriously, Gramps? He lied, and you’re giving him the cabin as a reward?” Tyler stopped short of stomping his foot but otherwise threw a temper tantrum.
“Sawyer might have lied, but his hopes for a future at the cabin were honest, which is more than I can say for the grandson who was only looking to make a few bucks,” Gramps said, speaking up for the first time.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Tyler turned a brilliant shade of crimson.
“Oh? I’m sure your real estate agent would be interested to hear that, since she’s already spending the commission she planned to earn next spring. Seems she’s got quite the mouth on her, and never shuts it. Told the whole bloody town about the upcoming listing, just in case anyone knew of a buyer. Smart cookie, that one.”
Olivia laughed at Gramps’ sarcasm.
“Are you really giving me the cabin?” Sawyer asked. “After everything I told you? Aren’t you upset?”
“Heavens no. We knew something was fishy right from the start and had you two figured out long ago.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked, his voice filled with disbelief and curiosity.
“What fun would there be in that?” Gran laughed.
“She added a nice bit of eye candy, I think they say, to our family dinners. And I like that she kept you on your toes. I wasn’t ready to see her leave,” Gramps added.
Her cheeks burned. She’d never been called eye candy by an eighty-year-old man before.
“Oh stop,” Gran said, swatting at Gramps. “We had the deed made up shortly after we figured you out. We knew that if you, the king of bachelors, were willing to even pretend to have a girlfriend to get the cabin, that it must be pretty special to you. Later, when we found out about the soon-to-be listing in the area, we knew we’d made the right choice.”
“You could have told us sooner and saved us all the heartache,” Tyler said, whining.
He didn’t even understand the meaning of the word. Heartache had nothing to do with losing a possession like the cabin. Real heartache came from losing the only person who mattered in your world, losing the only man you ever loved.
Back when Sam had left her, practically at the altar, she’d thought he was the love of her life. But now, knowing Sawyer, being with him this entire time, seeing what he would sacrifice to tell the truth about their relationship, she knew what real, whole-hearted love was. What she’d felt for Sam all those years ago was like puppy love, a crush. What she felt for Sawyer was all encompassing, can’t-deny-it, chick flick style love.
“And spoil the big announcement today?” Gran said. “No. We wanted to wait and see how this all played out. Not exactly how we hoped, I’m afraid.”
Gran’s gaze fell to Olivia.
She swallowed around the lump of emotion in her throat. She’d barely kept it together this long. No way could she hold it in under Gran’s watchful gaze.
“Congratulations. I’m really happy for you, but I have to go.” She spun on her heel to walk away, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her.
“No. I’m not letting you run away again. Not until you hear what I have to say.”
“I’ve heard it all. I listened to your voicemails. I know how you feel. Or at least how you feel right now.”
“You listened to them and still didn’t contact me? Why?”
“Because it doesn’t change the fact that we want different things in life. I want stability. Roots. A place to call my own and someone to share it with me. Someone who plans to stick around forever, not just for now.”
She bit her lower lip hard, trying desperately to stave off the sadness threatening to cripple her if she gave into it. She’d been strong this long; she could be strong a little longer.
“What if I told you I wanted forever, too?” Sawyer asked.