Mom got up from the table, grabbing my hand. “Let’s get our coats, Fal. We’ll go surprise him at the station like old times.”
I raced to the coatrack next to the front door, and within a minute I was in the front seat of our minivan, grinning as we pulled out of the driveway. As we started to pass through the last stoplight before the police station, we saw the flashing lights of a roadblock. There were tons of officers pacing around, a fire truck, and a few ambulances.
“Stay here,” Mom ordered as she pulled the van to the shoulder and started running toward the mob of first responders.
She ran into the arms of Sam, my father’s partner, and then fell to her knees, head in her hands. Without even realizing what was happening around me, I ran to her side.
“Mom?” She looked up with tears already streaming as she started to scream. She pulled at my coat, wrapping me in her arms as she sobbed. A gurney passed by me with an EMT straddling my father’s chest and performing CPR as they wheeled him to the ambulance.
“And that was it. The last time I ever saw my dad’s face. On my tenth birthday.”
I pushed my Caesar salad around the plate, avoiding the burning stare that I knew would be filled with pity. I hated pity; that shit was the worst.
“I’m sorry.” Dane’s hand found mine from across the table, and he slowly laced our fingers together. Those small words and his slight gesture gave more comfort than I had ever felt from anyone else, maybe because I knew that he understood what it truly meant to lose someone.
I leaned back in my seat, finally looking up at his beautifully smoky eyes. “It was a long time ago.”
He nodded, pulling his lips together tightly. “I know. And I know that the pain never really goes away.”
His voice was broken and his face displayed his pain.
“What about you, Dane? Tell me about you.”
DANE
There I was, sitting across from the woman of my dreams after she had finally opened up to me, and I was fucking frozen. I knew I needed to start talking sooner or later but I didn’t know where to start.
“My mom was a single mom too.”
Fallon’s face didn’t change while she stared at me. She just waited for me to continue.
“My dad left us when I was three and my sister, Leilani, was barely a year old. He was sick of my mom’s drug problems, and instead of sticking around to help his family, he ran like a fucking coward.”
My palms started to sweat while the anger that had festered in my gut for so long started to get the better of me.
Fallon’s voice brought my attention back to the present before the bad memories could start attacking me again. “Where’s your mom now?”
“Logan Correctional Center.” My words were flat and callous as they stained the air. It was all too bittersweet that my mom was locked up. I hated her for what she had done and for the accident, but she was still my mom and I missed the sober version of her that was a great mother, even though those moments were so few and far between. The air felt thick as silence blanketed us. I couldn’t find words to elaborate, and Fallon didn’t start in on the normal bullshit of cliché condolences and prying questions.
“Well…let’s move on then.” Fallon cleared her throat, sat up straighter, and refilled our glasses with red liquid courage. “What was this family gathering that Maverick’s father was talking about today?”
I had almost forgotten about the annual cookout that was coming up this weekend until Marty mentioned it earlier. “Maverick’s family has a barbeque for his mom’s birthday and you’re more than welcome to join us.”
Taking a sip from her glass, she licked a drop that rolled onto her bottom lip. I craved to taste her sweet lips again, and now that they were coated in the bold flavors of the wine, they were that much more tantalizing.
“I’d love to. That sounds so—normal.” She glanced down at her hands, a small smile developing slowly as she formed her words. “I don’t think I’ve been to a good old fashioned family barbeque in, well, ever.”
“Then I am glad to help you pop that cherry.” My cheeks flared as we both laughed at my little joke.
“About earlier…” I trailed off, hoping that she enjoyed it as much as I did and wanted to build on it. Fuck, I just wanted to lick her again, and so much more.
“You’re pretty talented.” She winked at me, reaching for my hand.
I sighed with relief as our server came back with our entrees. At the server’s request, I cut into my rare steak and watched the red juices flow beautifully from the cool red center of the premium filet. My mouth watered as I nodded to the tall, skinny server. “Perfect.” He left us to devour our meals in peace, and for the most part, we ate in complete silence. Not an awkward silence, but a hushed knowing and understanding.
Once our plates were practically licked clean, my fingers intertwined with Fallon’s. “How was your salmon?”
She rubbed her full belly with her free hand and sighed. “Fucking fantastic.”
The server popped back over. “Would you all care for some coffee or a slice of our famous cheesecake?”
I looked to Fallon but she shook her head. “No, thank you. I’m stuffed.”
I handed the guy my credit card before he even pulled our bill out from his apron.
We strolled through the double doors of the restaurant and the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees from the time we had gone in. I pulled Fallon’s shivering body closer to me. “My apartment is just a little over a block from here. Do you mind hoofing it? I don’t want to risk driving.”
I hated admitting it, but wine got me drunk faster than I wanted it to. There was no way I was going to get behind the wheel after having more than one glass. That lesson had been ingrained into my brain years ago. I should have freaking thought of that before heading to the restaurant, but thankfully Fallon didn’t seem to care.
“I don’t mind at all. It’s a beautiful night.”
Chapter Thirteen
Walls
FALLON
The chilled night air nipped at my cheeks while we made our way to Dane’s apartment building. The walk was silent, soaked in our cavernous thoughts. Dane’s face had a weak layer of a five o’clock shadow that gently scratched at my forehead as I leaned into him to block the soft night squall that whipped through the air. His arm never moved from my shoulders, keeping my cold body close to his warmth.
I just don’t get this
. All of it was so weird to me: the way we just clicked, how comfortable I already was with him. It felt like we were two puzzle pieces that had been missing from each other’s incomplete lives until now. I wasn’t usually a trusting person. I had walls—fucking high ass walls—guarding my heart. I was terrified of losing someone I loved so much ever again. Dad was enough. That’s why I liked Rhodes and only had fuck buddies, never real relationships, before him. If you don’t get close enough, it doesn’t hurt that bad when they leave.
Dane was different. It wasn’t work, it wasn’t uncomfortable; it was natural. I didn’t need to be around him every second, but every fiber in my body buzzed with excitement when we were close. Whenever I wasn’t with him, I wanted to be.
Flutters crashed around in my stomach when we got to the security door at Dane’s building. I was freaking nervous as all get out, so naturally, I stopped dead in my tracks.
“Aren’t you coming in?” Dane held the door with his foot, running his hands up and down my arms.
I nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
Cold feet? Nerves? Ugh, I don’t like this side of me.
The light in the tiny foyer flickered while we waited for the elevator. It was musty and drab, almost depressing. The light gray wallpaper was peeling at the corners and the tile was in desperate need of a good scrubbing. The elevator dinged and opened. I wasn’t too thrilled to be stepping into the small space; I hated elevators, plain and simple. I was terrified of getting stuck in one, and this one seemed to be a death trap.
Dane put his arm out to hold the door and waited for me to get inside. I was frozen; there was no way in hell I was stepping foot into that dang rickety contraption.
“Can we take the stairs?” I wrapped my arms around my waist, staring into the old elevator with disdain.
“Um, sure. It’s six flights though.” Dane shrugged and headed for the entry to the stairwell. “Don’t like elevators?” He grabbed my hand while holding the door for me. The light squeeze of pressure let my shoulders relax as I took the first couple of steps.
“It’s healthier to take the stairs.” I smiled, continuing to make my way up to Dane’s apartment.
Huffing, Dane kept up a good pace next to me. “So, are you coming to our practice tomorrow?”
My sneakers squealed on each step while I thought about it. I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. A sinking feeling attacked my stomach and my heart started to beat out of my chest.
Step, squeak.
Step, squeak.
Step, squeak.
“I don’t know if I should.”
Honest. To the point.
Dane shrugged. “I’d like it if you came. The guys don’t know who you are. We can just say you want to get more of an inside view on how bands work for an editorial piece you’re working on, or some bullshit like that.”
“Yeah, ok. I’ll come. I’m just a little nervous.” I cringed a little, giving in to the look of excitement that spread like wildfire over Dane’s face when the words fell off my lips. “It’ll be nice to sit in for a change and not be the one working my ass off.”
“I should be the nervous one. Fucking Fallon Dunbar, the drumming rock goddess, is going to be at my freaking practice.”
He swiftly jogged the two steps to get right next to me where I was frozen from nerves. My tiny ego was doing cartwheels.
He thinks I’m a rock goddess? Really?
Crimson spread from the tip of my nose to my tingling fingers and toes as he softly kissed my lips.
“It’s going to be great. Don’t you miss music?”
With every single fiber of my being, every single second of every single breath I take. It’s an ache that will never be fulfilled again.
I nodded and kissed him on the cheek before starting to climb the steps again.
We got to the sixth floor and made our way into Dane’s warm apartment.
“Want something to drink?” Dane offered, taking the loaner jacket off my shoulders and hanging it back up. As he put it on the hanger, the inside tag caught my eye: it had ‘Leilani’ written on it in faded marker. It took me a second to snap my gaze from the jacket now hanging in the closet back to Dane.
“Sure. That fruity green tea?”
He smiled while making his way into the kitchen. “Coming right up.”
I grabbed the guitar off the wall and sat onto the couch. Starr had taught me to play when we were in high school. She wanted me to be the frontwoman of our band, not the drummer. Luckily that was one of the only times I did not give in to my best friend.
“Come on, Fallon! Please?” Starr sat cross-legged on my bed, giving me the saddest puppy dog eyes she could muster.
“N–O! I said no. I get bad enough stage fright as it is behind my set; the last thing we need is the lead singer choking or passing out on stage like a fucking psycho!” I tapped my sticks onto my drum pad, working on my hand evenness; paradiddles were threatening to be the freaking death of me.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Left.
Right.
Left.
Right.
Right.
I kept mumbling the pattern under my breath over and over, listening way too carefully to the way my sticks tapped onto the leather pad on my floor.
“Just picture the audience in their underwear! Isn’t that supposed to cure stage fright?” Starr was relentless; it was one of my favorite things about her. I shook my head again. That was that, I wasn’t going to cave this time.
Starr pulled her lips together, narrowing her eyes at me. “Fine. I guess we need to start looking for a sick ass singer. Glass Eyed Fish won’t be much of a band without one.”
I rolled my eyes. “We’re not going to name a freaking band some pussy ass name like Glass Eyed Fish, Starr. Come on!”
She sighed in frustration, shoving up from my bed. She picked up her bass, plugged it into the amp in the middle of my room, and started to thump out a bassline. Her long, freshly dyed pink hair whipped around while she swayed and bobbed to her beat. She looked like Sean Yseult on crack while jamming along to the music in her head.
I climbed behind the small set that was in the corner of my converted basement room where my stepfather banished me once my music became noise pollution in his home. Electricity coursed through my veins as the music flowed from our souls.
“Do you play?” Dane asked, setting my mug of tea in front of me on the coffee table.
I shook my head rapidly, coming back to reality from my jaunt down memory lane. “Ugh, yeah. Kind of.” I ran my fingers slowly over the metal strings; missing Starr hit me hard in the gut. “Do you?”
Dane nodded, sitting down next to me. “I can play a lot of instruments actually.”
I smiled. “That’s not surprising.” It really wasn’t. Most musicians I knew could play multiple things. There was always one to be mastered and the rest were to play and clear your mind.
Letting the guitar rest against the coffee table, I took my warm cup of tea and leaned into the crook of Dane’s shoulder. His arm wrapped around my body slowly as he kissed my hair.
“Fallon?” Dane’s voice was almost a whisper, his chin resting on the top of my head.
“Yeah?”
“You can say no to what I am about to ask you.” He cleared his throat before continuing, “Will you spend the night?”
My palms started to sweat. I wanted to scream that I would and that nothing would make me happier, but for some reason I was scared shitless. It wasn’t about staying in Dane’s apartment—been there, done that. It wasn’t even being scared of having sex with him. I’d wanted to ride in that rodeo ever since that first kiss of ours, and now that I knew how talented he was with his tongue, I could only image the amazing things he could do with other parts of his body. I was scared that he was starting to break down my walls more than I was prepared for, getting too close for me to ever be able to walk away from him.
Against my better judgment, I sighed and leaned more into him. “I’d love to.”
DANE
After two cups of tea, my goofy ass trying to serenade Fallon, and her truly shocking me with how amazingly well she could sing, we made our way to my room. There was something so sweet and innocent about our evening and for the first time, I didn’t want to have sex with the woman crawling into my bed wearing a pair of basketball shorts and my faded navy shirt that had the name of my band sprawled across her tits. I wanted to love her.
“What time do you need to be up?” Fallon’s head was already resting on the pillow when she looked up at me, a soft, sleepy smile lingering on her gorgeously pierced lips.
“I need to be in the office at nine tomorrow, so seven?” She stretched while I climbed into bed next to her.
“Alright.” I set the alarm on my phone, plugged it in, and hit the remote on my nightstand to turn the fan up and the light off.
I innocently kissed Fallon on the cheek, resting my head back down on my pillow. Soft kisses started brushing my bare shoulder and slowly worked their way up my neck with swift, gentle nibbles. The smooth metal of Fallon’s lip rings ran over my skin, spreading chills over my shoulders. Her body shifted closer to mine. Her lips were soft but firm, innocent but seductive. They were like honey mixing with cayenne pepper, spreading a silky warmth that I had never felt before.
I moaned and flexed under her tender touch as her fingertips trailed up my abs. “We don’t have to—” I muttered before she cut me off.
“Shhh…I said I was going to return the favor, Romeo.” Her nails gently dug into the flesh over my hipbone as she crushed her lips to mine. Desire dripped into my mouth from hers and it was completely infectious. There was so much need behind her kiss as she hungrily moved my lips apart and explored my mouth with her tongue.
I forcefully pulled her on top of me, gripping her ass firmly in my hands. “Fuck…” I growled. I could feel my dick getting harder at the very thought of her enjoying our little foreplay; I couldn’t image how amazing it was going to feel once I was actually inside her.
“I want you,” she breathed while nibbling on my earlobe.
I tangled my fingers into her hair, ripping her head back sharply. “Let’s get one thing straight: I’m a nice guy, but once we start, I’m rough and in charge and not
nice
.” The words felt like gravel pouring off my tongue as I thirsted for her mouth again.
Fallon rolled her tongue over my bottom lip, biting it gently. “Good. I don’t like sweet when it comes to this.” She glanced down and back up, starting to fumble with the drawstring on my basketball shorts.
I pulled my shirt off of her, exposing her gorgeous tits, and slid my shorts down as fast as possible. In one fell swoop, Fallon was on her knees sucking my balls, my feet firmly planted on the floor as I gripped the pillow behind my head. Every tongue flick and tease of her teeth sent chills throughout my entire body. Her lip rings glided over my sensitive skin.
Holy fuck
. It felt incredible.
A deep rumble came from deep in my chest as I took her locks in between my fingers again and positioned her lips over the head of my pre-come soaked dick. She practically purred while she rubbed her fingers over the base of my shaft and sucked gently on the head. It was fucking ecstasy—pure ecstasy—having her gorgeous mouth feasting on me.
My shoulders tensed and my breath quickened, matching hers. I pulled her head back and made her lock eyes with me. “I want to fuck your pretty mouth so badly.”
She smiled with hooded eyes. “Then do it.”
It was almost a dare that I was more than willing to accept. She opened her mouth and I thrust my dick right into the back of her throat. She choked—hard. I pulled out and waited for her to bitch about me hurting her, but she licked the wetness from the tip of my dick. “Is that all?”
I smirked
. This is going to be a fun night.
I pumped my cock in and out of her mouth as she took me deeper and deeper into her throat, her eyes watering slightly, but every time I’d hesitate she smiled and egged me on to continue.
“Damn it, Fallon, let me fuck you!” My voice was husky, filled with need.
“Where are the condoms?”
I pointed to the second drawer in my nightstand. She ripped the package open with her teeth, straddled my hips and rolled the latex over my cock slowly, biting her bottom lip while she watched my every reaction to her touch.
“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” I breathed, gripping her hips and sliding her slowly onto me.
She rolled her head back and moaned, taking my length in. “Your dick feels so good.”
Fallon started to rock her hips and I followed suit, letting her set our pace while her lips curled into a seductive smirk. Her hands gripped onto my shoulders as her tits bounced only an inch from my chest. It was the most incredibly sexy sight I had ever seen in my life. Her gorgeous tattoos were hard to make out in the dim light, but I could see their faint beauty, along with her small curves and her perfect boobs. I was fucking mesmerized until she locked her lips onto mine and moaned from the back of her throat into me, “I’m about to fucking come.”