Authors: Tiara James
“You’ve got it boss, I’ll be there.” Clayton agreed, grabbing the card.
“Oh yay. Well boys, I’m afraid that’s all the time we have for today. As you
know, duty calls. Once again, I apologize for the attack earlier.” Nicholas put
his hand over his heart and shook his head.
“Hey it’s alright, stuff happens.” Clayton assured him.
Nicholas snapped his fingers. “Luccio, Mastodon, let’s go!” The two men jumped
in the front seats and drove Nicholas away.
Clayton grabbed me by the collar and pulled me closer. “Hey! Listen here, you
better get a hold of that firecracker attitude you possess or you might as well
blow our cover all by your damn self! You understand me? This
ain’t
no time for no short ass fuses or
tryin
’
to get it your way! This is an undercover case and we are a
team
, do you
get that? Lose the fucking behavior and play by his rules ‘
cause
this is the best lead we’ve got!” He let me go.
“I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” I shoved him away and straightened myself up and
exhaled loudly. I was angry because he had a point; if I wanted to succeed I was
going to have to change my short-fused ways.
Later that evening, I pulled into my driveway and looked at my lawn. Compared
to everyone else’s, my grass
was
quite ragged – I saw why my father
wanted me to hurry up and get to it. His words, ‘you can do better’ rang in my
ears, activating my pent up frustration from earlier in the day. I flung my car
door open and went to yank the garage door up.
I retrieved the lawn mower and just completely went for it. Mindlessly, I
shoved the mower through my uneven grass, not so much as focusing on making it
look right but more on getting my anger and aggression out. Though the sun was
on its way down, the heat felt as if it was still high in the sky. Sweat poured
down my face, leaked on to my neck and drenched my shirt but that didn’t stop
me from moving on to the backyard. I knew the slight hill was going to be a
bitch to come back up.
I didn’t last long, once I got to the bottom of the hill all my aggression had
been burnt out. I dragged in ragged breaths and leaned against the lawn mower.
A few feet away, the sound of streaming water could be heard; then it dawned on
me how thirsty and hot I was. I followed the sounds of the water but was
distracted by the lights of the home past the trees on the other side of the
stream – the home of Eva-Marie. ‘If you look close I bet you could see her
changing’, Chris’s words echoed in my head. I squinted in the distance, moving
a thin tree branch out of my line of vision. I wasn’t a pervert and I didn’t
want to see her changing. But it
had
been a long time…
“Can I help you, Mr. Finley?” Eva’s voice asked out of nowhere.
I jumped, scared to death, and began looking around frantically. There she was,
leaning against a tree near the water. She looked so serene with the evening
sunlight illuminating her face perfectly and combed out curls that hung fluffy
around her face. An open book lay in her lap and she donned silk pajamas. What
a perfect image. Her eyes were fixed on me, waiting. How long had she been
watching me?
“Oh, hi Eva. I didn’t expect to see you here.” I stammered oh so un-smoothly.
She snorted. “I could say the same. It’s not every day I run into you in my own
backyard. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were spying or attempting to
be a peeping tom, sir.” Eva cocked her head to the side and stared at me.
“No, no, no, nothing like that.” I shook my head and chuckled, immediately
trying to think of an
outstanding
explanation in order to not embarrass
myself.
“Then what are you doing here?” She squinted her eyes, still looking at me
sideways.
“Exploring,” I answered. “I live right back there. I was mowing the lawn and
wanted to see what was back here.”
She looked worriedly back toward her house and back at me. She closed her book
and seemed to force a smile. “Well, well looks like we’re neighbors Mr.
Finley.”
“Please, I want you to call me David.” I insisted.
“David.” Eva corrected herself. “Can you catch?” She asked me, standing up.
I looked at her with furrowed eyebrows and couldn’t help but smile. “What?”
She picked up a cola bottle sitting next to her and tossed it over to me. “You
look like you’re dying…and I’m sure you need it more than me.” Eva smiled
warmly at me.
I had never been so grateful for a bottle of soda in my life! I twisted it open
and took a cool, refreshing swig. “Hey, thanks! And I agree, I don’t know how
tiring reading can be.”
Eva put her hands on her hips. “Are you teasing me, Mr. Finley?”
“It’s
David
, and yes!”
“Well I’ll have you know that reading can actually be very tiring.” She said in
a matter-of-fact tone. “But I must say, it’s the least I could do, after all
you
did
save my life. I don’t know how I could ever repay you for that.”
Eva turned and began walking back toward her house.
No! I didn’t want her to go just yet. “Eva, wait!”
She spun around with wide eyes. “You keep your voice down or my parents will
hear you! And if they see you here –”
“What’re you doing out here by yourself anyways?” I asked, desperate for more
conversation with her.
She sighed and came closer to the stream. “I’m in trouble… I said some things
to my mother the night of the ball and they’ve locked me away ever since.”
“What a youngster.” A half-smile crossed my face.
“You wish you could be this young again.” She rolled her eyes and smirked
playfully.
“Well I know how you can repay me.” I blurted. “For saving your life.”
“What is it, David?” She asked, checking over her shoulder once more.
“Come out with me. We can get an ice cream or something.” I suggested.
Eva pondered it in her head, once again looking over her shoulder. “I’m not
allowed out. If they knew I was out I would never see daylight again.” There
was worry in her eyes.
“So sneak out!” I said. “I just want to get to know you a little bit better,
please Eva.”
Eva peaked back with a worried expression and then exhaled loudly. “I’ll meet
you back out here in an hour or two.”
I beamed, beyond thrilled that I would be taking her out and getting one-on-one
time with her again. “But why can’t we go now?” I wondered, eager to be with
her.
“I’m not going in my
pajamas
... and you’re all sweaty.” She scrunched up
her face, making me laugh.
“Okay, okay I’ve got it! Back here in an hour.” I said.
“Or two.” She reminded.
“Got it.” I nodded, unable to stop smiling.
“Eva-Marie! It’s getting late!” A voice called from her house.
An unreadable expression crossed her face before she picked up her book. “I’ll
see you, David.” She began jogging back toward her house.
“Eva!” I called.
She turned around and put her finger to her lips. “
Shh
!
What is it?” She hissed.
“Do you promise?” I asked wanting to make sure she would come.
“I promise.” She nodded.
“But you’ve got to say it with a smile, that way I know it’s sincere.” I
couldn’t help it, the worried expression on her face was making me have my
doubts.
“I promise…with a smile.” She smiled mischievously and giggled, waving before
going back.
It was good enough for me! I watched with my arms crossed as she made her way
back to her house, beaming and shaking my head at how incredible she was. Eva
may have been a youngster but she was right, I did wish I was that young again
and lucky for me – she made me feel like just that.
I
nervously paced back and forth in my room, extremely nervous to sneak out of my
house.
Daddy
had already punished me by taking my car keys, I didn’t want to know what he’d
take next if he found out I left without his permission. I peaked my head into the
hallway and listened for any movement – pure silence. My parents usually turned
it in pretty early on weekdays. I took a deep breath and decided I’d better get
a move on since it had been two hours and some change since I told David I
would meet up with him. Tip-toeing down the stairs, I tried to make minimal
noise, however, the staircase was forever creaking.
“Where are you going, Miss?” A voice caught me off guard as soon as I was
unlocking the front door.
I spun around immediately, only to see Flora squinting at me with sleepy eyes.
My hand came over my heart with relief. “Oh my God, you scared me Flora!” I
hissed. “What are you doing up?”
“I heard the creaking on the stairs from my room.” She answered pointing down
the hallway. “Where are you going?”
“
Shh
,” I put my index finger over my lips and got
closer to her. “You can’t tell my parents. I’m just stepping out for a little
while.”
Flora had a worried expression. “It doesn’t feel right lying to Mr. Percy.” Her
Latina accent whined.
I grabbed her by the shoulders. “I promise you he will not find out. Just
please
don’t say anything.” I pleaded.
Flora appeared to contemplate for a moment and then nodded. “I want you to be
careful and I hope you know what you are doing.”
I nodded, grateful to have her on my side. “Of course I know what I’m doing,
I’ll be fine Flora.”
In actuality, I had no clue what I was doing! I knew damn well that my father
knew men all over the city that would recognize me and would
surely
notify him if they saw me out with a white man. But I wanted to see David, with
as much trouble as I was risking getting in I still wanted to see him.
Flora unlocked and slowly opened the front door. “Enjoy your night, Miss.”
I nodded at her and exited the house. “Flora,” I turned around before walking
around to the backyard. “Thank you.”
She nodded once and closed the door quietly.
I focused on the sounds of the crickets and the owls as I made my way toward
the creek, trying to get my mind off of the uneasy feeling in my stomach. Some
part of my mind screamed at me,
what the hell
are you
doing!
Wondering why I was risking getting in so much trouble for someone I
didn’t know that well. However, the rebel in me – that was growing day by day –
wanted me to figure out who I was and not who my parents wanted me to be,
wanted me to figure out what I wanted for myself and not what my parents wanted
for me.
When I reached the creek it didn’t take me long to spot David within the
shadows of the trees. The moon was shining bright, leaking through the breaks
in the leaves and landing on his perfectly chiseled face.
He looked up at me, a gleaming smile crossing his face. Goodness he was
beautiful. “I thought you had skipped out on me.”
I shook my head.
David rose and came closer to the streaming water. “I realized you might need a
way to cross.” He pointed down at a sheet of plywood that was positioned over
rocks at a shallow point in the creek. When I made a move to cross the
makeshift bridge, he was next to me in an instant. “I’ve got you.” His strong
hand caught my elbow.
When his hands touched me it was as if I’d been electrocuted in that one spot
and the tingling sensation lingered. I wanted badly for him to do it again…but
I didn’t want to seem weird by asking him to do it again.
“Watch your step,” David reminded me as I wobbled across the wooden sheet.
Thankfully, I had made it across the creek without busting my backside and
embarrassing myself.
“Looks like I might need to invest in a proper bridge.” He chuckled.
“No it’s fine, I don’t mind.” I assured him, still dazed from him touching me.
“Thank you for helping me, sir.”
“Of course,” David nodded. “Thanks for coming out tonight, Eva.” He said as we
started up the hill.
I looked over my shoulder to see if any lights had come on in my house. Ever
since I’d stepped foot out of my room my nerves were on alert, in fear of being
caught at any moment. “Me too,” I barely smiled.
Once we were in the car, I tried to shake my anxiety. However, I failed and I
could feel how tense my face was. David noticed as well.
“Hey Eva, are you okay? You look like you just witnessed a murder.” He glanced
over at me, looking concerned.
In that moment I debated between lying and telling him I was fine or telling
him the truth about how I was terrified to be seen in public with him because I
was banned from seeing him. “I’m okay.” I lied. I took a deep breath to relax
myself. “This is a nice ride you’ve got here, I love cars.” I was desperate to
change the subject from my well-being.
“This? Oh please, ever since I saw your Rolls-Royce I’ve been dying to get my
hands on it!” David replied.
His enthusiasm brought a smile to my face. “You’ve got yourself a deal if you
let me take this baby for a spin one of these days.”
“You’ve got it.” David agreed.
I took another deep breath and gazed out at the passing trees, my stomach slowly
unknotting.
“So…uh…what’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” David asked.
“Vanilla, what about you?” I looked over at him.
“Chocolate,” David grinned with his eyes on the road.
I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t help but laugh. Slowly but surely my spirits
were lifting.
We pulled into an ice cream parlor in the middle of a town I had never been to
before. “Madame,” David held his hand out for me with a grand smile when he
opened my door.
“Thank you,” I giggled, taking his hand.
A group of teenagers in the parking lot stared at the two of us with wide eyes
and confused faces, and even cut their music off, as we walked to the entrance
of the ice cream parlor. I fidgeted under their stares, feeling as if they were
picking me apart with their eyes. The knot returned in my stomach. If it wasn’t
the ban my parents put on me seeing David that was making me feel uneasy, it
was the impending sideways glances I knew we would always get when we were out
together. We couldn’t catch a break.
David seemed not to notice as he held the door open, watching me with his
intense blue eyes.
The young man at the register also stared rudely, bouncing back and forth from
David to myself. “May I help you?” He sounded disgusted.
Oh how I wanted to melt and blend in with the checkered floor! My eyes looked
anywhere but at the cashier that was staring directly at me. I wanted so badly
to be in the city where people never looked at me the way he did, not in some
outdated, white town on the outskirts of the city!
“Yes,” David spoke up, squinting at the menu. “Can I get two scoops of vanilla
for her and two scoops of chocolate for me, please?” He waved his hand in the
cashier’s line of vision. “In tall sundae cups if you would.” David smiled
tightly.
“Are you paying for hers?” The cashier asked in an offensive tone.
David’s face froze over into a dangerous expression. “You saw us
fucking
walk in together, didn’t you?” He spat.
“Fifty-four cents.” The boy mumbled. After he took the change, he was still
staring at me as he put it in the register.
“I’m going to sit.” I told David in a low voice, not able to put up with the
cashier any longer.
David nodded, glaring at the young man.
I could see his reflection watching me as I went to sit in a booth near the
window. I gave him a thumbs up when I sat down and saw that David was still
looking
at me, and he
wasn’t
smiling. At that point I wasn’t sure if my stomach
could take any ice cream, I felt so queasy! I couldn’t help but wonder if he
was starting to see me as the cashier and the kids outside saw me – a
negro
girl and nothing else. Instantly I felt hot and wanted
to get out of there! I wanted to kick myself for not staying home. For the
first time in my life, I was completely out of my comfort zone in that small
town between Raymondsville and Chicago.
Crossing my arms, I looked around the empty ice cream shop and figured I’d wait
until he got back to tell him I wanted to leave. I watched him watch the
cashier as he made our sundaes. The young man moved slowly, making me more
agitated. When it came time for him to put in the last scoop of vanilla, he
made eye contact with me and let a long, slimy line of spit fall into my ice
cream.
I shut my eyes
hard and turned toward the window, praying to God to not let me go and wring
the boy’s neck. I opened my eyes and watched David’s reflection. He was
chuckling and shaking his head. What was so funny? I was furious!
“Here you go, sir.” The young man pushed the two sundaes across the counter to
David with a smug expression on his face.
David picked up the vanilla sundae and wound up as if he was a baseball pitcher
and launched the sundae back at the cashier at full speed!
The young man ducked and the sundae glass completely shattered against the wall
behind him.
My eyes had gone wide and my mouth dropped open.
“You thinking you’re
fucking
slick, huh? You and people like you fucking
disgust
me!” David seethed, grabbing the boy by the collar. “Go back and
make that shit correctly you goddamn asshole! That is wrong and you
fucking
know it!” He let the boy go.
The young man scrambled around, getting out the supplies for a brand new sundae
– which he then made in record time.
“Do that again to
anybody
and I’ll fucking wring your neck you piece of
shit!” David grabbed the new sundae along with his own.
My hand came over my mouth as I processed what had just happened. I couldn’t
tell if I was in shock or awe and I also couldn’t tell if I was proud of David
for defending me or if I was sorry for getting him in that situation. I
apologized anyways when he sat down.
David’s eyebrows came together and his face twisted up. “What the hell have you
got to apologize for?” He pointed his finger toward the register and raised his
voice, “It’s because of ignorant, sorry pieces of shit like him that we have
this problem!”
“
Shh
,” I soothed. “Let’s calm down.” I reached across
and rubbed his arm.
Oh,
his
muscular
arm. I needed to get a grip.
David broke his glare from the cashier and toned his voice down. “
I’m
sorry for not handling my temper. But really, why are you apologizing Eva?” He
looked genuinely confused.
“Is it not obvious? If I wasn’t you know…black, then you wouldn’t have this
problem.” Instead of looking at him I played with my ice cream.
“Are you kidding me?” David asked in disbelief. “Don’t put this on yourself,
Eva.”
“Oh c’mon David, don’t act like you didn’t feel the awkward stares as we walked
in here!” I threw my hands up, exasperated.
David shook his head.
“No don’t you shake your head at me, sir! You know you saw them!” I exclaimed.
“I did, but Eva –”
“I mean doesn’t it feel like you’re forcing something to work that simply
doesn’t?” I ranted, relieving my pent up anxiety. “Just look at our situation,
we barely know anything about each other, we’re two very different races,
David, it’s not so widely accepted! My parents
banned
me from seeing
you, and I’m sure your parents wouldn’t –”
“Your parents don’t want you seeing me?” He interrupted. “Why?”
I sighed. “They want me to marry Ray and Ray doesn’t like me around you.” If I
was going to let it out, it was
all
going to come out.
David’s jaw tensed. He shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose,
sighing. “Look Eva,” he opened his eyes. “All those things like your race? I
think you’re goddamn beautiful. What people think of us has nothing to do with
us.
Your parents don’t want you seeing me and my father
wouldn’t approve in a million years, but you know what? I know that I want to
know more about you and I want you and I like to be around you. You know what
else I know? I know that all the odds against us fucking suck. But that’s what
life is about, doing the impossible and beating the odds.”