The Improbable (25 page)

           
As I stood in the rain on the empty rooftop, all the pain and grief from the
past few days to the present caught up with me and weighed down heavily. I fell
to my knees and let my head fall into my hands. My life wasn’t falling apart,
it already had! Should God damn me to hell, I’d be well-prepared because the
pain of losing the love of my life and my best friend felt like just that.
Absolute hell.

W
as
the world ending? It sure felt like it was.

Two
deaths within the same day. I wasn’t much of a superstitious person but I
always believed that death happened in threes and I was afraid to see who would
be the last person to go. Chris’s death was unexpected and tragic. Nicholas
Brandy had only been killed because he was stealing money from my father. It
was a good and a bad thing now that he was gone; good because my father
wouldn’t have to worry about who was cheating him, bad because the police would
now be after only one producer. My father.

           
My friends and I were sitting in my room, grieving over the loss of our friend.
No one spoke, we all just sat in our own spaces quietly. I sat on my bed,
hugged up to a pillow and staring out the bay window into the rainy night; I
chose not to sit at the window in fear of looking down into my backyard and
seeing lights on in David’s house. I knew he had to be devastated and I wished
I could comfort him and tell him that everything was going to be just fine…but
I couldn’t. There was so much weighing down on my brain I felt like I was going
to explode! I couldn’t explain it to my parents, I had barely seen them because
they’d been so busy with both with production and Ace Cigars. Could I tell my
friends? What would they think? I didn’t know but all I knew was that I was
busting at the seams and had to tell someone what was really going on!

           
“David and I broke up.” I blurted.

           
There were a few moments of silence before someone spoke up. “What? When in
God’s name did this happen?” Kate asked, coming to sit next to me on the bed
and putting her hand on my shoulder.

           
I didn’t look at her, I kept my gaze on the bay window. “A few days ago. I had
to break up with him because I’m leaving town with Ray at the end of next week.
We’re getting married.”

           
“What?” Yvonne gasped.

           
“Why so soon?” Rita asked in a quiet voice.

           
“You don’t even like him…” Sarah said, disgusted.

           
I nodded. “I know…I love David. I’m in love with David. However, I have to
marry Ray because…because if I don’t then he would expose my family for what
they really do. My parents run a Trioxytin production.”

           
“Oh my Lord in Heaven,” Kate breathed.

           
“The reason I broke up with David is because he’s an undercover police who’s
working on arresting my father and he doesn’t know it.” I began to tear up.
“And I don’t know what to do because I love him so much but I can’t be with
him.” My voice cracked and the tears came.

           
I expected my friends to loathe me. Trioxytin was the very drug that had just
killed Chris along with numerous other people in the city. I expected them to
look at me with disgust and ask how I could defend someone involved in such a
horrendous business. I expected them to get up and leave me in the darkness of
my room. My friends exceeded my expectations. Kate cuddled up next to me on the
bed and rubbed my shoulder, soothing me. The rest gathered closer, showing
their support in my time of need.

           
“Well you’re one hell of a secret holder, I’ll give you that.” Yvonne laughed
lightly and nudged my leg.

           
I giggled through my tears.

           
“Does anyone else know about this?” Rita asked.

           
I shook my head and sighed. “I’m glad I could get it off of my chest and let
you guys know. You don’t know how much it means to me that you guys are here
for me. Thank you.” I sniffed.

           
“Eva darlin’, you could commit the most horrible crime known to man and we’d
still be behind
ya
. Know why?
‘
Cause
we love
ya
, and
you’re our friend.” Kate gushed and hugged me closer.

           
“And that’s the word from the bird,” Sarah giggled.

           
I laughed and wiped my tears, feeling as if I’d just taken a thousand-pound weight
off of my shoulders. “Thanks for making me feel a lot better ladies.”

           
“That’s what friends are for,” Rita smiled.

           
“Too bad we aren’t invited to the wedding…” Yvonne mumbled.

           
“She’s not
marryin
’ that bastard,” Kate sat up and
shook her head.

           
“I’m supposed to get married next week, what do you mean?” I furrowed my
eyebrows.

           
“Who do
ya
love, baby doll?” She looked at me
expectantly.

           
“David.” I answered immediately. “But I can’t be with him.”

           
“You two are in love…you’ll find a way.” Kate shrugged.

           
“She’s right…maybe you should come clean to him as well so he’ll understand why
you left him.” Rita chirped up.

           
My eyes doubled in size. “What? No! He would hate me! I’d rather him just think
I didn’t love him anymore than have him hate me!”

           
Sarah shook her head. “It’s the best thing to do Eva…if he’s really in love
with you he’ll find a way to make it work. Aren’t you tired of living like
this? And do you really want to spend the rest of your life with
Ray
?”

           
“And if it doesn’t work out? If he just throws me in jail?” I questioned,
blindsided by the fact that they wanted me to turn myself in to him!

           
“He wouldn’t do that.” Kate answered. “Because he loves you.”

           
I sighed and went back to staring out the window. “I don’t know if I can.”

           
My friends were silent, each probably pondering the situation I was in and
still processing the information I had just dropped on them. “You know, you’re
very lucky Eva.” Rita said in her soft voice.

           
I couldn’t help but snort. “Please explain to me, how I’m lucky in the midst of
this madness Rita.”

           
“You’ve experienced love! That’s something that comes around once, and if
you’re lucky, twice in a lifetime. You can’t just let it go, you have to fight
to keep it.” She answered.

           
The more I thought about it, the more terrified I grew. Exposing myself – and
my family – to David. How would he react? Would he hate me? What would he
think? That was a big risk to take. But then I had to wonder: would I rather be
married to Ray and be in a mental prison the rest of my life, regretting not
fighting harder for David and I’s relationship? Or would I rather expose myself
completely to the man I was in love with and risk our love being reduced to
hatred and resulting in me being in physical prison. I had to face it, either
way I went I was going to some type of prison. But which did I prefer?

Later that
evening, I heard my parents arrive. I was glad to have them home, in fear of
falling asleep in an empty house. I had spent plenty of time trying to figure
out what I should do and I decided that it would be best if I just left David
alone and tried life out with Ray. David and I had a good run, yes, however I
wanted to leave things as I did – with him believing that I was just upset over
him lying to me. It was far better than having him hate me for who I really
was: the daughter and defender of a Chicago drug lord.

           
I slipped on my nightgown and tiptoed out of my room and leaned on the banister
so I could eavesdrop on my parents. I looked down on them as they sat on the
couch in the living room, holding each other. They didn’t speak, they just held
each other. I made my way down the stairs and into the living room, sitting on
the couch adjacent to them.

           
“Hi mama, hi daddy.” I greeted them in a quiet voice.

           
“Hey baby, we thought you’d be asleep by now.” Daddy forced a smile.

           
I shook my head. “Hard to sleep with so much on my mind.”

           
“It’s been a tough past few days, darlin’, we know.” Mama sighed.

           
“That it has,” I said looking down at my fingers in my lap. “But I wanted to
let y’all know something.”

           
“What’s that baby?” Daddy looked at me with questioning eyes.

           
I sighed. “I don’t want y’all to think that you’ve let me down in any way. You
guys have done your absolute best to give me a normal life and have exceeded my
expectations. The life we live isn’t perfect, I know, but I wouldn’t have
rather grown up in any other way than the way I was raised. You guys are my
parents, I don’t want to see anything happen to you just like you don’t want to
see anything happen to me. So I don’t want you to worry about Ray and
I
. I’ll be fine, and if it means that we’ll all be safe and
will still be able to see each other then I’m not complaining one bit. I’ve
been thinking about it and that’s my decision, to be with Ray.”

           
I watched as my parents’ faces processed what I was telling them. Mama broke
out into a smile and Daddy nodded slowly, looking as if he was still
understanding what I was saying.

           
“You mean it, darlin’?” Mama asked.

           
I nodded. I joined them on the couch and sat on my daddy’s lap, giving him a
kiss on the cheek and hugging him. “I’ll be just fine. Now are you
gonna
worry Daddy, even though I told you I’m alright?” I
teased, pulling back to look at him.

           
Daddy chuckled through his nose and shook his head. “Baby I’m your father, it’s
my job to worry! But if you’re saying you’re fine…then I trust you.”

           
“We had something to tell you as well, honey.” Mama chirped up.

           
“What’s that?” I asked.

           
“Should you tell her Percy, or should I?” Mama asked excitedly.

           
“I’ll take the pleasure in telling you…that the mess is over.” Daddy announced.
“We shut down the Trioxytin production as of today. We’re keeping Ace Cigars
running, but the warehouse level is shut down.”

           
Mama clapped her hands excitedly.

           
“What!” I jumped up off Daddy’s lap, ecstatic.

“Put
a few people out of work, but it is shut down nonetheless.” Daddy smiled
genuinely. “We couldn’t put you through this any longer, baby. We were
beginning to tear at the seams and we didn’t want our family falling apart.”

“Does
that mean I don’t have to leave town?” I asked, eager to know.

           
Mama shook her head, “Nope, but we’ll need to keep Ray around for a little
while until we clear everything out of the factory. That way they’ll have no
evidence against us.”

           
“Oh this is unreal!” I exclaimed, leaning down to give both of them hugs.
“Thank you both so much! I love you guys.”

           
“And we love you more than life itself, baby. There’s nothing in the world we
wouldn’t do for you.” Daddy kissed me on the cheek.

           
My spirits were entirely lifted; I had nothing to hide anymore! I no longer had
to leave town, I was no longer bound to that bastard Ray, and I could live
freely! My parents had gifted me with the ultimate present of freedom and I
couldn’t thank them enough for that. David! Maybe I would give him some time
due to the fact that I had broken his heart…but it filled me with joy even to
know that he was an option once again.

T
hings
didn’t seem as if they were going to improve. However, even I knew I had to
suck it up like the grown man I was and return back to work. Everyone’s
attitudes toward me when I entered the station were all the same...

           
“I’m so sorry for your loss.” They would say.

           
“If you need me I’m here for you.”

           
“Tell me if you need anything.”

           
All I could do was nod my head with my lips pressed into a firm line. I didn’t
want to hear it. Well, maybe I did…but not from them. I wanted to hear those
comforting words from Eva because she was the only one I wanted to talk to in
such a time of grief. Imagining her unique, soothing voice and small, soft
hands on my skin and in my hair was enough to give me the amount of courage I
needed to deal with the day. I still wondered when I would see her again. Oh my
love…

Sighing,
I pushed through the door of my office and immediately plopped down in my seat.
I leaned back and clasped my hands on my forehead, staring at the ceiling.
End
this case
now, a vengeful voice in my mind evilly growled at me. Even
though Nicholas Brandy had been murdered, I still didn’t feel as if Chris had
gotten justice. I wanted to bring all of the Trioxytin production and all who
were involved in it, down! I wanted to eradicate the drug and the producer from
the state of Illinois and never hear of it again! What was wrong with me? Why hadn’t
I solved the fucking case yet? Anger built up inside of me and eventually
overflowed, causing me to spring out of my chair.

I
tore through the drawers of my desk, pulling out any files and any pictures
that could lead me in the right direction! Nicholas had said I was so stupid
and that the answer was right under my nose, but where! I ripped through the
photos of the bodies and went back and forth from the evidence board in my
office to the files on my desk and I still couldn’t find a damn thing! Out of
frustration I threw the last folder across the room, papers flying everywhere.

“Fuck!”
I shouted at the walls, angry and out of breath.

After
a few moments of heavy breathing, I noticed I wasn’t alone in the room anymore.
My eyes glanced up quickly to see my father standing, watching me with the door
closed behind him. His mouth was set in a straight line, his head was cocked to
the side, and his eyes were sad. My father’s eyes were
sad
.
I was ashamed to have him see me in
such a way, I didn’t want him to know what the stress between the case, the
loss of the love of my life, and my best friend’s death was doing to me. I ran
my hands through my hair anxiously, trying to pull myself together even though
I was hurting so bad.

“I’m
sorry,” I nearly whispered.

My
father shook his head and sighed. “No son, I’m sorry.” He gestured for me to
have a seat.

“Sorry
for what, Pop?” I looked at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

My
father walked to the window and gazed down on the streets. “Christopher’s
father and I got the chance to speak last night.” He paused. “Our conversation
put a lot of things into perspective, making me realize plenty of things I’ve
been overlooking for the past few years.”

I
wasn’t too sure where he was headed with the conversation. “Things like what?”
I asked.

“How
drastically life can change at any moment, how…terribly bad our relationship
has gotten, and how I miss your mother more and more every day.” He lowered his
head and his eyebrows came together.

I
stared at him, not saying anything. I wasn’t too sure of what to say! My mind
was in awe that he was talking to me about something deeper than my work.

He
clasped his hands behind his back and cleared his throat. “David, after your mom
died…I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to live, I didn’t know how to
function, I…I didn’t know how to cope. It made me such a hard person to the
point where I didn’t even know how to parent you. All I knew how to do was
push
you…I just pushed you into things I wanted you to do. Never once did I stop and
ask if you were happy.” Pop looked back at me and slowly shook his head. “In
the wake of Christopher’s death it made me realize that either one of us could
go at any moment…and I would
never
want either of us to go without you,
my only son, knowing how incredibly and deeply sorry I am for letting all of
those years go by. I’m so sorry son.” He lowered his head and pinched the
bridge of his nose.

I
hadn’t expected to have such a heavy conversation with Warren when I had first
walked into work, but it was the conversation I had been waiting years for!
Instinctively, I left my seat and crossed the office to embrace my father in a
hug. My heartache improved only slightly, but any improvement from the past few
days was more than welcome. “Pop, we all make mistakes. But you’re my father,
and I love you. I forgive you.” I said into his shoulder.

He
pulled back, a smile on his face. A genuine, eye-crinkling,
father-loves-his-son, smile! “You don’t know how much that means to me, son.
Another thing I should apologize for –”

           
I put my hand up. “That apology was all I needed,
Pop
.”

           
My father shook his head. “No, I think you want to hear this one.”

           
“What’re you
talkin
’ about?” My eyebrows came
together.

           
“The night of the fair, I saw you long before I ran into you…I watched you. I
watched you and the way you looked at that girl…what was her name?”

           
My shoulders sagged and I slowly sank down into my seat. “Eva-Marie.” I sighed.

           
“Ah, yes, her. I saw the way something just lit up inside of you when you saw
Eva-Marie. I used to look at your mother the very same way.” My father made eye
contact with me. “I’m so sorry for bringing an end to something that made you
so
genuinely happy.” He shook his head. “Don’t let that go, there’s a special bond
between you two and I’m so sorry for destroying it.”

           
I ran my hand through my hair and tried to busy myself by cleaning my desk.
“It’s no problem,
Pop
. But I think it’s too late to
save that relationship.”

           
“It’s never too late, son.” Pop pursed his lips.

           
I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting ready to open that door yet.

           
“I’ve also been meaning to tell you that I am so very pleased with the work you
and Clayton have been doing. The case will be over sooner than you know it.” My
father promised.

           
Ah! When he brought up Clayton I remembered I had to break the news to him that
I wanted Clayton to receive the position as chief instead of myself. “Oh,
Pop
, that was one thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

           
“What’s going on, son?” He asked.

Right
before I could explain, my office phone began to ring. “Officer David O’Neil.”
I answered.

           
“They…they put me out of work.” A man’s hopeless voice came over the line.

           
I didn’t have time for his unemployment. “Sir, if you could please call me back
when you have an actual –” I cut myself off, remembering my position. Sighing
and counting to three gave me the patience to deal with his irrelevant call.
“Is there an emergency?”

           
The man on the phone sounded as if he was paranoid and fidgety. “I want to
submit an anonymous tip. I-I…I don’t want them to kill me.”

           
My eyebrows raised and I leaned on the desk with what felt like a blood-hungry
look in my eyes, suddenly completely interested in what he had to say. “It will
be anonymous, they can’t hurt you. You just have to let me know what’s going
on. Your secret is safe with me.”

           
There was silence and then movement on his end of the line. “I used to work for
them.” His whisper was quick.

           
“For who?” I asked.

           
The man sighed. “I used to make Trioxytin in a warehouse…but they’re shutting
down production before they get caught.” It sounded as if the man had started
weeping. “How am I supposed to feed my bloody
family!
”

           
“Sir, I need you to calm down. You’ll find work, I promise you.” I assured him.
“I just need you to tell me where this warehouse is so I can confirm that you
aren’t making any of this up.” I began to get a pen and paper, writing down
everything he had said. My whole body was on fire! I knew that if he was
telling the truth then all of the Trio mess would be over and the bastards
would get what they deserved! I covered the mouthpiece and looked at my father,
“Could you go tell Clayton we have another lead? Leaving in five.”

           
My father smiled proudly and nodded, exiting my office.

           
The man on the phone was sniffing and making strange noises. “Near the
unpopulated end of the city, close to the lake. Lots of gates and open space,
uh, uh, cigars. A company…Uh, what’d they call it?” He pondered for a few
moments. “It’s below Ace Cigars!”

           
I nodded, scribbling down everything. “I will check this out, thanks again
sir.”

           
“Mr. O’Neil,” The man called me before I hung up.

           
“Yes, sir?” I answered.

           
“I hope you kill those motherfuckers.”

The
line went dead.