Authors: Tiara James
I looked back to the dining room to see my parents’ expression to be a cross
between disbelief and hurt – it broke my heart into a million pieces. I knew
how much loyalty meant to my family. I couldn’t let them think I was in on
David’s plan! “What? No! I swear I didn’t know!” I yelled, furiously trying to
turn around and get back to them but Ray had his arms around me so I couldn’t
get to them. “I would never do anything to put you in danger and you know that!”
I attempted to squirm free but Ray wouldn’t budge.
Ray stilled when my father was behind him with a pistol to the back of his
head. I ceased my breathing completely, waiting for the outcome.
“Get your
hands off of my daughter, put her down.
Now
.” My father instructed.
“You’ll have police at your doorstep in less than half an hour. Did you forget
what kind of neighborhood you live in Percy? Jesus. You don’t want me turning
you all in before the pig your daughter’s been sleeping with finds you out.
Let’s not forget who has the power in this situation.” Ray threatened, turning
to face the gun.
With that being said, my father lowered the gun with a defeated expression. He
looked at me with anguish in his eyes and took a seat next to my mother on the
stairs with his shoulders sagged. It saddened me to see my parents so powerless
in the situation.
“As I thought,” Ray said haughtily before shoving me out the front door,
leaving my mom bawling at the end of the staircase while my father held onto
her.
Hearing
my mother cry only made me want to die, but I didn’t want to break down in
front of her and make it worse. Mindlessly, I walked to the car, too shocked to
process any emotions. However, all of the feelings broke free as soon as I took
my seat in the car. I leaned against the window and covered my mouth to stifle
my sobs. David. My mother. My father. My life. How was it possible that this
was happening? It couldn’t be…
“Why are you so sad my dear, we’re on our way to see the love of your life.”
Ray shook my shoulder, clearly enjoying that he was getting his way.
“I don’t wanna see him!” I cried, not looking at him.
“Oh don’t be silly, Eva. You love him! It’s too bad he made such a fool of
you.” Ray snorted.
The words squeezed and twisted my heart in the most painful way possible. The
pain was so unbearable that I had to wonder if it was even real!
How could I
be so stupid
? I wondered sadly.
“So did he get to my prize first, Eva?” Ray asked in a lower, huskier voice. I
felt his hands graze me inappropriately. “Did he?”
Yes and how could I let him!
I screamed in my head. However, Ray didn’t
need to know. I had nothing in me to protest physically. “Fuck you,” was all I
managed to say.
“I hope you do,” Ray whispered in my ear.
The words sent an ice cold chill down my spine. I realized I had no one to run
to and no one to keep me safe from this monster.
“To the train yard, sir.” He
instructed his driver.
I stared down at my feet as we drove. I didn’t want to look out the window, I
didn’t want to know when we arrived, and I didn’t want to see David
at all
.
How could this happen? Why was this happening to me? I thought I was so lucky
to have someone like him! My mind continued to race as we made our way to the
abandoned train yard. That was the last place I wanted to be. I never wanted to
go anywhere David and I had been together ever again. He
betrayed
me!
When the car stopped, Ray turned his body to mine and grabbed my chin to make
me look at him. “You make it seem as if everything you two ever had was nothing
but a phase, do you understand me? You tell him you never loved him, I want you
to break his heart Eva-Marie. If you don’t then you can kiss your freedom
goodbye, are we clear?”
I
blinked slowly and emotionless. My mind was processing absolutely nothing.
“Now
come on.” Ray opened the door.
My body wouldn’t move. I
couldn’t
move. I sat there with the same
expressionless face, staring down at my feet until I felt a hard tug at my hair
that made me cry out in pain! Ray grabbed me by the hair and shoved me up
against the car with his body pressing firmly on mine.
“Dammit, snap out of it Eva-Marie!” He looked me in the eyes and snapped in my
face a few times.
I blinked and shook my head slightly. “Okay.”
My
legs began moving me in the direction of the trains. Ray waited outside the
car. I didn’t know what I was going to say. Feeling began rushing back into me
as I got closer and saw David standing with his back to me. When he heard me
coming, he turned around. Seeing his face reawakened all the fury and hurt he’d
caused.
He was smiling but it quickly faded after he saw my puffy eyes and furious
expression.
I hadn’t noticed how fast I’d been walking toward him. Fury hit first. I
reached him and hit him on the chest with both hands multiple times, letting my
anger out! As the anger was released, the pain set in. Oh yes did the pain set
in
extremely
hard. Tears started to fall and I began sobbing as I was
hitting him.
“Eva! What are you doing? What’s going on?” He pulled my head to his chest and
kissed the top of my head. “I’m here, what’s wrong?” David begged to know.
Ugh! His embrace felt so right but it was completely different knowing that he
lied to me and was after my family! I pulled away from him and shoved him. “How
could you? You used me! You lied to me! You’re a liar!” I sobbed and hit him on
the shoulder as he turned his body.
David grabbed my wrists and looked me in the eye. “What the hell are you
talking about, Eva-Marie? Talk to me!”
“Don’t act like you don’t know!” I shouted, yanking my arms free. “You’re an
undercover police, Ray told me! You’re just using me to find out information
for your case, I’m not stupid David!”
His face paled and his expression shifted from confusion to disbelief. David
slowly shook his head. “This is
not
how I wanted you to find –”
“What do you have to say for yourself, David?” I demanded through tears. I
shoved him when he didn’t answer immediately. “David, I trusted you!” I jabbed
my index finger at him.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He put his hands up surrendering. “I should’ve told you
earlier, I was wrong!”
“Was any of it real, David?” I asked with burning curiosity. I thought that
maybe if the love between us was real we could work through everything.
However, I knew that was wishful thinking…even if we wanted to be, we
couldn’t
be together. My family was his target and he didn’t even know. In that moment I
realized that that’s where most of my hurt was coming from – in knowing that we
were
couldn’t
be together. We never could. How could something that felt
so natural and made me so happy be so…
wrong
?
David’s eyebrows came together immediately and his eyes widened. “What? Yes, it
was real! I love you Eva-Marie, everything we had between us was real! I
wouldn’t fake that for anything!”
“I gave a piece of myself to you and you just threw it back in my face by lying
to me about who you are and using me, David! How could you?” I yelled, my heart
just aching…
“Calm down, Eva! I was never using you, you have nothing to do with my case! I
told you I’m in love with you. I would never lie about that. You have to
believe me! What lies has that bastard told you?” He seethed, pointing toward
the car.
I wanted to tell him that I had almost everything to do with his case! But that
would only make matters worse. I shook my head, trying to get myself together.
I had to end it so I could get out of there and no longer have to see him look
so hurt and hopeless. “It doesn’t matter what he’s told me, David. We can’t be
together. I’m leaving town and I’m getting married.”
David took a step closer to me, cupping his hands around my face. “What? No!
Eva please, you have to give me the chance to explain. My life wouldn’t be the
same without you. You said you’d never leave me!”
“And you said you’d never lie to me.” I said, my voice cracking. I took a step
back away from him, letting his hands fall to his sides hopelessly.
“Oh come on Eva, I’m sorry.” David pleaded desperately. “I didn’t know it would
make things this bad…I…just…please don’t leave, please.”
Seeing David in such a way desperately made me want to forgive him and go back
to how things were because I loved him…no matter what happened, I couldn’t just
reverse my feelings for him. Even if he was after my family! The pain I was
feeling was overpowering and the confusion was even greater. Though, I knew
that above all…I could not be with him. I could give him no hope and I would
have to cut off all ties because ultimately the only man I’d ever loved was the
greatest enemy I’d ever known. As much as it was going to hurt the both of us,
I knew I had to do it.
I exhaled loudly. “I don’t want to be with you anymore, David. I don’t want you
in my life and I’m not in love with you so please, just stop trying.” The words
that came out of my mouth felt like a dozen swords on my tongue. It was
torture. There was no other way to describe the feeling of hurting the one I
loved except for torturous...
I watched his face distort with pain, looking as if someone had just knocked
the wind out of him. “You don’t mean that…you don’t mean that. You’re lying.”
David said after a few moments. He was staring at me with intense eyes. Oh the
eyes that reeled me in from the very start!
“I’m getting married, I have no reason to lie and I can’t have you after me. So
just put us both out of this misery and leave me
alone
!” I exclaimed. I
turned and began walking back to the car.
David turned me around and grabbed my shoulders. “No! You’re lying! You loved
me just as much as I loved you and still do! What we had was real Eva-Marie and
you know it!”
My
teary eyes came in contact with his and I shook my head. “Let me go, David. You
have to let me go.”
Reluctantly,
David released his strong grip on me and watched me back away. I left him there
in the train yard all by himself with a hopeless and lost expression on his
face. I didn’t bother looking back at him as I made my way to the car, it would
only hurt the both of us even more.
“A
job well done,” Ray nodded at me before opening my door.
I
ignored him and plopped down in the car, keeping my eyes straight forward.
There
wasn’t any turning back. David and I were over. The happiest moments of my life
were discontinued. I pushed the feelings to the back of my mind to deal with
them later in the darkness and loneliness of my room. The fact that I was set
to marry Ray in the next week set in and I just couldn’t get my mind to wrap
around it. I knew that if I was to spend the rest of my life with Ray I’d cut
it short because I would end up putting a bullet through my skull. I couldn’t
stand him and the life he doomed me to. He didn’t make me happy or feel loved
the way David did… My mind started working into overdrive.
Something
had to be done, but what?
I
f
there were any other reasons in the world for me to live, I demanded they revealed
themselves before I decided I had nothing to live for anymore. The pain was
that
unbearable. It was almost equivalent to the time I lost my mother. Almost.
Why had I
…
Would she really?
It’s my fault.
I did this…
Married!
Leaving town?
Would she come back?
More to drink…
I couldn’t think straight even if my life depended on it. After Eva had blown
up on me, I had gone home and drank the rest of the night and through the next
day and then all night… I hadn’t a clue of what day it was or what time it was.
All I knew that it was dark and rainy outside. I was sitting on the couch in my
living room, staring out the front window. Drinking bottle after bottle and
never moving from that couch, I hadn’t gotten up for a while and I didn’t care.
I knew I was going to get an earful when I finally returned back to work but I
just couldn’t find it in me to care…
All I could do was replay the painful words Eva-Marie spat at me that day in
the train yard.
Our
train yard. ‘
Leave me alone’..
.That one had
hurt the most. She couldn’t have meant it, right? Deep down I knew she didn’t
mean it, but the words still hurt like she did. The only way I could make
myself feel better was by convincing myself that Ray took the situation, got in
her mind and made it worse than what it was. She couldn’t have been
that
upset after finding out I lied to her about my name and profession, right?
There was no way. Sooner or later I would get to the bottom of it. But for now,
I would drink more.
A few bangs on my door and Timmy’s voice outside alarmed me only slightly. He
burst in the door and looked around.
“What the hell is going on, brother…? You’ve been missing for quite some time.”
Timmy questioned, reaching to turn on the light.
“Leave it off,” I told him in a gravelly voice.
“Okay…” He stepped cautiously toward me. “Why was your door unlocked? You want
someone to come in and murder you, huh?”
Maybe subconsciously I was hoping it’d be
her
who walked through the
doors. “At this point I wouldn’t even mind if someone did.” I tossed some of
the liquor back and swallowed, numb to the burn.
Timmy lowered himself down onto the couch adjacent to me and leaned his elbows
on his knees. The faint light streaming in from outside illuminated his face,
and I could see pure concern on my best friend’s face. Timmy sighed and leaned
back on the couch. “Whenever you’re ready to talk about whatever it is…I’ll be
right here brother.”
My heart had been reawakened after seven years of darkness when Eva-Marie
wandered into my life. She gave me hope and now she was gone! What was I
supposed to do? After a few moments of silence I set down the bottle of
alcohol, ready to talk.
“Eva found out I was lying to her about who I was. Ray told her I was
undercover and using her for my case. Now she wants nothing to do with me.” I
said without emotion, staring at the floor.
Timmy exhaled loudly, but didn’t say anything. He just listened.
“Call me emotional or whatever, I don’t give a fuck. That girl was my lifeline,
she brought happiness back into my life ever since my mom passed and now she’s
gone too. I wanna kill Ray, but even I knew she was going to find out sooner or
later. I just don’t understand why she’d be so mad about something so small.
You think that’s enough for her to hate me this much?” I looked at him
hopelessly.
Timmy looked stressed. He pinched the bridge of his nose and cleared his
throat. “You’re really in love with her. Am I correct?”
I nodded slowly.
“Okay, then what you need to understand is that true love – the love you claim
to have for her – never,
ever
fails.” He pointed his finger at me. “You
listen to me, you will fight for her until the day she leaves and even after
that until she says ‘I do’. Got it?”
I
nodded once, wondering how he expected me to get her back when she wanted nothing
to do with me.
“You’ve
also
gotta
remember that no matter what happens, no
matter what comes up, you have to love her. Because loving someone is accepting
all of their flaws as well as
always
being on their side even in the
face of chaos, no matter what. Do you understand me?” He eyed me.
I had never heard Timmy so authoritative. “Yes, I understand. But…that won’t
get her to come back.” My shoulders sagged.
Timmy shook his head with his eyes closed. “As long as you listened to
everything I just said, I know for a fact that there’s still hope for the two
of you.” He leaned over and slapped my knee. “You’ve
gotta
trust me, brother.”
I nodded, trying to make sense of everything he had just said. I reached out
for the bottle of liquor but Timmy stood and swiped it up before I could reach
it.
“Give your liver a break, you’re done with this.” He took the bottle and walked
over to place it on the kitchen counter.
The phone began to ring; I couldn’t count how many times it had ever since I
had fallen into my dark state and I didn’t care. In fact, I didn’t even make
any moves to go and answer the phone. Once Timmy realized I wasn’t getting up,
he picked up the telephone.
“Hello?” He answered. “Yeah, he’s here” A few beats of silence. “He’s on the
way.” Timmy hung up the phone.
“What’s going on?” I asked when Timmy came back to the living room.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure, brother. Your partner said that your father wants
you downtown right now. Said it’s serious.”
“Where?” I asked.
“Fillmore and Independence.” He answered.
I rose, not liking the fact that the alcohol was hitting me so hard, but I
pushed through it anyways. I went and threw on a coat before exiting into the
rain. The drops of water seemed to revive me in the slightest way, I welcomed
the sensation they brought to my skin – the first thing I seemed to feel since
Eva broke it off with me. Timmy tagged along with me as I made my way into the
city. An uneasy feeling settled over me the closer we got to our destination.
Did it have anything to do with Eva? Or was she just on my mind? What could it
be?
By the looks of it, immediately I could tell another body had been found. The
scene was roped off and people were gathered around the entrance of a building.
I was thrown off because Clayton and I were never called to the scene. We got
out the car and made our way toward the crowd.
“Clayton, what’s going on? Why are we here?” I asked him as soon as I located
him.
Clayton sighed, appearing troubled. “Your father’s over here, I think he should
be the one to tell you.”
I followed him, scanning the crowd as we walked. My heart nearly broke into a
million pieces when I saw Kate and her friends in tears, comforting each other.
I wanted to die. Was it Eva? Where was she! My breathing picked up speed, but I
was relieved to see her holding Sarah’s head to her chest, soothing her. I stared
for a moment, waiting for her to see me. Once she saw me, she shut her eyes
hard and turned away making it clear that she didn’t want to see me. It was
never going to get any easier but I was going to keep fighting for her. Though,
I knew I couldn’t approach her and talk because I was working. Timmy left me to
deal with my job and made his way over to Kate.
“Pop, what’s going on? What’s the problem?” I asked anxiously when I found him.
My father’s mouth was set in a bone straight line and his eyebrows were
furrowed. He was looking at the ground and shook his head.
“No! You’re lying! No!” I heard Timmy yell in the crowd. The anguish in my best
friend’s voice drove a thousand knives into my soul.
I looked over to Timmy with wide eyes and back to my father with a questioning
expression. “Pop, what is it?”
My father sighed and set a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, son. I’m so
sorry.
It’s
Chris…they found him dead. Overdosed.”
It felt as if the world had just knocked the wind out of me and gave me another
blow to the head. The words rang throughout my head, just not making any sense.
Chris…dead? My best friend, my brother…dead? I couldn’t breathe. Did I want to
breathe? This couldn’t be happening…It just couldn’t be happening. He didn’t
even use Trioxytin! I rubbed my hand over my face and shook my head, refusing
to believe it.
“Let me see him.” I demanded.
“I don’t think that’s –”
“I said let me see him!” I repeated.
Inside the building felt cold and lifeless, because I knew my friend was laying
inside with no life in him. If I hadn’t drank the amount of alcohol that I did,
I never would’ve asked to see the body. It was just me, the two coroners, and
the covered body. I walked over and kneeled next to Chris, preparing myself for
what the white sheet hid underneath. I gently pulled back the sheet and stared.
There Chris lay, skin pale with his eyes wide open, and lips cracked. He looked
so scared. I shook from holding back sobs, covering my mouth to keep control of
myself. How did someone I’d known to be so happy and full of life, come to
this? Anger welled up inside of me as I wondered who took my brother’s life.
“Who did this to
you!
” I shouted at the top of my
lungs. “Who did this to
you!
Who did
it!
” I yelled at the lifeless body. I stood, furious and
unable to be in the same room as him anymore. “Well get him out of here!” I
instructed the coroner. “How long has he been laying here? Get him out!” I
yelled. I had to get out of there before I ended up strangling the coroner who
didn’t even deserve it.
I
exited the building aimlessly. Through the crowd, the first face I saw in the
distance happened to be Nicholas Brandy. He stood emotionless, just watching
the scene. That motherfucker. All I could think of was that he sold the very
poison that killed my best friend! I walked toward him hastily, filled with
rage. I didn’t even give him time to talk when he saw me. The first thing I did
was grab him by the collar and punch him in the face multiple times!
“What did you
do!
What did you give him?” I demanded
to know, holding him by the collar, making him look me dead in the eyes.
Brandy wiped the blood from his nose. After quickly and worriedly looking up
into the sky and back at me, he chuckled and shook his head. “I laced his
reefer, okay.” He held his hands up. “I didn’t know what I laced it with was
too toxic. I only realized after I gave it to him. There’s my explanation are
you happy?”
How was he chuckling and being so sarcastic at a time like this? It made me
even angrier! I slammed him against his car. “You stupid motherfucker! You
killed him! Do you understand that? You took his fucking life!”
Brandy still didn’t look phased. He was staring up at something and then looked
back at me. “Oh but, you’re the stupid one in this situation. You thought all
along I didn’t know who you are David
O
’
Neil
?” He looked up and
back at me. “I knew you were undercover, and I know exactly who you’re looking
for. But you’re so stupid you don’t even know that the answer is right under
your goddamn nose.” He snorted. “I just took the pleasure in watching you
struggle.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I demanded, slamming him into the car
again.
He looked up and back at me, smiling weakly. “This is a dirty business you
tried to get involved in, try –”
With his last words, a gunshot went off from above and pierced him in the
chest. I felt the life running out of him and let him collapse onto the street.
I looked up to where the gunshot came from – the same place he had been looking
when he was talking to me. I knew it had to be the main producer the man the
other day had told us about. I wanted their heads! I wanted to kill everyone
who was involved in the production of the lethal drug that murdered my brother!
Without thinking any further, I sprinted into the building and began bounding
up the stairs to get to the roof where the gunshot had come from. I burst
through the door to the roof and began searching frantically. Where had they
gone? I whipped my head around, and searched but there wasn’t a single soul in
sight. In that short amount of time, I had lost them.