Authors: Tiara James
I
didn’t feel much like myself in my black long sleeve turtle neck, black cropped
pants, and black sling-backs. I wasn’t even sure why I had chosen to wear so much
black, everyone that knew me knew that I loved my colors and dresses! Then I
peaked out the window and up at the gloomy gray sky and remembered what had
inspired me to dress in such a way. Though the weather was dreary, my mood was
the complete opposite!
I
was elated as I ended the day at Ace Cigars. Daddy had given me the ‘ok’ to
send the rest of the employees home early so I could escape to a celebration
dinner with my girlfriends. I had told the girls that my parents were bringing
an end to the drug production and of course they saw it as a reason to
celebrate. I looked down at my watch and cursed, seeing it was already a
quarter ‘til six and we had reservations at six-fifteen! All I had left to do
was lockup. I quickly grabbed the keys and headed for the freight elevator.
My
heart overflowed with joy when I reached the bottom floor to find it nearly
empty. There was nothing to hide anymore, no more burdens! Daddy’s team had been
in and out of the warehouse all day, eliminating the boxes of evidence and
tidying up the place. They hadn’t finished but they were making great progress!
I smiled to myself as I crossed the floor and locked the industrial sliding
doors. The sound of slowly crunching gravel outside was enough to make my heart
jump but faint enough to where I laughed at myself and shook my head. I hopped
on the elevator back up to the main floor and locked the elevator doors behind
me.
The
entire building was so silent that I could hear myself breathing and my shoes
as I lightly crossed the floor. I truly wanted to rush through my routine
lock-up so I could hurry up and leave, but I knew Daddy would have my head if I
forgot to lock up an important door. I tugged the lock on the front door making
sure it was secure and proceeded to do so with the front office. Lastly, I took
the stairs up to my father’s office. I grabbed the key on his desk and turned
around to finally get out of there for the day.
As
I was walking to exit my father’s office I stopped short, startled by the sound
of a closing car door in the back of the building. My eyebrows came together
and I cocked my head to the side, confused. I knew all the employees had gone
home and neither of my parents were scheduled to stop by that day. I slowly
crossed the room of Daddy’s office to look out the back window. When I did so,
my heart dropped to my stomach too many times to count and I covered my mouth
with my hand. It couldn’t be.
The
scene was my worst nightmare. There in the back of Ace Cigars, three cop cars
surrounded the back of the building! No matter how many times I blinked they
just wouldn’t go away! I was not dreaming. My heartbeat picked up its pace in
record time, heat prickled under my arms in panic, and my eyes were wider than
the state of Texas!
I hadn’t
recognized any of the police officers, nor did I know what they were doing
there in the first place. We had nothing to hide anymore, right?
Shit!
I
cursed in my head as I remembered the items that were still left in the
warehouse. I raced down the steps and unlocked the front office so I could see
if there were any officers in the front of the building. I was out of breath as
I slowly lifted one blind the slightest bit, just so I could see what was outside.
No!
No! No!!!!!
There
he stood outside of his police car, with his hands on his hips and the wind
ruffling his perfect dark brown hair, and his lovely intense blue eyes squinted
at the building. The love of my life. The heart I had broken. My David O’Neil.
It felt as if someone had thrown a cement cinderblock into my chest. He wasn’t
supposed to ever find out! I didn’t want him to know what horrible things I had
been associated with! What would he think of me? Would he still love me?
Did
he still love me? My mind was at a loss! Everything was happening too fast! I
held onto myself and collapsed on the floor, anxiously breathing.
You’re
about to be punished and revealed as the person you truly are to the love of
your life
, my mind
told me. Instinctively, I wanted to break down and cry. But I knew I had to
think smart and cry later.
I
shook my head and stood up. He wasn’t going to find out. I peaked out the
window again at him and his partner, they looked as if they were trying to
figure out how to get inside the building. Good, it was only those two in the
front. So if they came in then I would have to run out of the door all the way
down to the parking lot which was past the gate! I knew I could make it.
Where
would I hide when they came in? I had to think fast. I looked at the drapes
pushed to the side of the windows in the front office and immediately knew I
had a hiding spot. I would wait until they were far enough into the building to
make my escape. But first, I went and unlocked the front door and opened it
slightly. I dashed back to my hiding spot behind the drapes in the front office
and tried to keep control over my breath and the moving keys on my wrist as I
waited. With every passing second, I wanted to die more and more.
After
what felt like a lifetime, the front door opened all the way. I could see their
shadows moving cautiously. My heart was pounding out of my damn chest! I
breathed as calmly as I possibly could through my nose even though I wanted to
be panting like a dog because I was so out of breath just from being scared! I
could see the backs of their heads as they walked further into the building. I
had to convince my legs that it wasn’t the right time to go yet. Ugh I was so
terrified I wanted to curl up in a ball and wake up as if it was a bad dream!
What would my parents do? I felt so alone!
“Should
we separate?” David’s deep voice questioned. Oh my love’s voice sounded so hurt
and lonely! No one else would’ve been able to detect the pain in his voice but
I could because I noticed everything about that man.
“I’ll
get upstairs,” his partner nodded and headed up the stairs.
David
looked around and began walking toward the front office where I was.
I
wanted to squeal and scream and run out! But as soon as he entered the office,
my breathing, my everything had stopped. Oh I hadn’t seen him in so long and he
looked so…sad. He didn’t look like himself. Sure, he was still the tall,
well-built, hunk of a man that I fell in love with but his whole demeanor just
screamed
grief
. I felt bad for my poor love; all I wanted to do was jump
into his arms and kiss him and comfort him. I knew it was what he needed. But I
didn’t know if he would ever look at me the same if he knew about my secret.
Therefore, I kept quiet and as still as a statue as I watched him scan the
room. It was as if I was watching him from another universe when I looked at
him through the drapes…it almost felt as if I was watching him from the dead.
The thought gave me chills. After having found nothing of interest in the
office, David turned on his heel and went to join his partner on the second
floor. As soon as he hit the top stair, I knew it was time.
Now!
My mind screamed at me. And with
that, a burst of adrenaline coursed through me in record time and I threw the
drapes off of me, raced out the front office and bolted out of the front door!
I wasn’t sure how I was full-on sprinting in my
slingbacks
but I knew I was praying I wouldn’t twist an ankle!
“Out
there, someone just ran outta here!” I heard his partner yell. “Move, move, move!”
“Rookies,
front of the building, follow, follow,
follow
!”
David’s voice boomed.
They
were chasing me – David was chasing me! I hadn’t expected to be seen leaving
the building! No! I sped up faster and it felt as if I was going to trip over
myself and fall on my face. Where was I going to go? I thought that maybe since
neither of them saw my face I could run all the way into town and I could lose
them in the crowd. But even I knew in that moment that running all the way to
town was a stretch. The gate was in sight and partially open.
“Close
it! Close it! Close it!” David yelled at security.
At
his command, the gate made a loud buzzing noise and began closing slowly.
No!
Where was I going to go? David couldn’t figure out it was me! He couldn’t know
who I really was! If I could make it out of the gate before them then I would
be safe. I pushed myself harder and harder but my body wouldn’t go any faster.
With that realization, tears began to fall down my cheeks and I began lightly
sobbing as I was running. Was this it? This is how David had to find me out?
Let
it go, you can’t run forever
.
A divine voice said calmly in my head.
Immediately,
in my heart I felt a release. When that happened, I realized I could control
the situation no longer. All I could do was let things happen as they did.
There was no way of getting away from them chasing me. There was no way I was
getting out of David figuring out it was me and my family he was after. There
was no way of me controlling how David felt after he found out the truth. It
was all just out of my control, just like my whole life had been.
The
gate was closed by the time I reached it. I slammed it with my hands and
dropped my hands to my side and lowered my head, shaking it side to side. I
began crying. When first meeting David, never would I have guessed that it was
the way we would end up. Everything couldn’t have a happy ending.
“Put
your hands up! Above your head, now!” David shouted at me.
“You
heard him nigger gal, get your hands in the air!” His partner yelled in his
southern accent.
I
sobbed and did as I was told, still not facing them.
“Now
turn around.
Gon
’ head and turn around I said!” His
partner fussed.
Well,
there was no turning back.
Slowly
and heavily ashamed, I turned to face the love of my life as the person I truly
was.
I’m
forever so sorry David.
K
ill me
,
I pleaded with God.
The
look on David’s face was enough to make me wish I had never met him so I didn’t
have to see him look so betrayed. A part of me wished I could just keep this
side of me hidden in a place where he could never find me out and he wouldn’t
have to associate me with such horrible things. However, another part of me
knew that I truly loved this man and felt like he deserved to know the truth
because I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I had lied to him about
something so major. Oh I was so confused! Though, there was no turning back
now.
When
he first saw me, his expression was a cross between shocked and especially
hurt. His eyebrows had come together, his eyes grew sadder and concerned, and
his mouth parted slightly as if he wanted to ask me what the hell was going on.
He slowly shook his head and lowered his gun from aiming at me. Tears streamed
down my cheeks as I faced him, never breaking eye contact.
“I’m
sorry,” I mouthed. It was all I could manage in between his partner’s yelling.
He
stood in shock, not saying anything.
“On
your knees dammit!” His partner shouted at me.
I
lowered myself to my knees with my hands up, still staring at David who was
shocked into place. He hadn’t moved one bit!
“I
should just take you out now,” His partner growled as he placed his gun on my
temple.
“Please,”
I pleaded. “I’m so sorry,” I cried, still looking at David.
“David
gon
’ and arrest her.” His partner commanded with his
gun still on my head.
David
made no moves. He was still staring at me with crazy eyes.
After
David didn’t arrest me, his partner pulled my hair back so I was looking to the
sky and cocked his gun. “Dammit David if you do not arrest this nigger gal I
will blow her goddamn brains out!”
I
didn’t panic, instead I let the tears silently fall down my cheeks as I stared
at David with blank eyes wondering if that would be the best way to put us both
out of our misery. It was clear David didn’t love me anymore. He didn’t want to
save me. His unresponsiveness made it apparent he’d rather see me go.
Kill
me
, I pleaded in
my head. Desperate to be out of the situation.