The Incorporated Knight (38 page)

             
I
must tell you that, of the lot, you are the only one I could truly have loved, since you are neither stupid like Gontran, nor lewd like Landwin, nor yet old and reclusive like Sugerius. You are he for whom I yearn by day and by night. You are therefore commanded to return forthwith to your adoring spouse's arms.

             
As for the delicate legal points arising from the revival of your predecessors, transforming me from a virtuous widow to a polygamist, I have the word of the
Archimandrite that there shall be no difficulties. We shall have a proper legal marriage, wherein I will endeavor to make you the happiest husband ever. I am not unaware of my faults, which I swear to overcome. Only come back! You cannot abandon me after all we have endured together. I love you!

Yolanda

-

             
"Belike she does," said Eudoric, thoughtfully refolding the missive, "as far as she loves aught but power. But it matters not to me."

             
"I grasp the nib," said Baldonius, "although I burn to hear the rest of the story. Where stood ye in the file of husbands?"

             
"I was the fourth; or so I was told. She had stricken my predecessors with a fixative spell, which kept them statuelike in a cryptic chamber. Of her quartet of nuptials, only the first has any claim to validity. But of that, more anon. Where can I find Lusina?"

             
"Oho! So that's the why of those unseasonable posies! I might have guessed."

             
Eudoric's face showed a worried frown. "Has she another suitor?"

             
"Nay. A brace of local swains have asked my leave to pay her their addresses, but she denied them. She hath never forgiven herself for her folly."

             
Indulgently, Eudoric smiled. "Who can go through life with never an indiscretion? I have committed more than I care to think about."

             
"Even my prudent, calculating pupil hath gone astray?"

             
"Aye; but I strive never to commit the same blunder twice."

             
"What wilt do about that letter? I must know, if ye think of courting my chick."

             
"I shall ignore it. As saith Helvolius the Wise, only a fool pets a biting dog a second time. Emmerhard's lawyer, Doctor Rupman, has assured me that any spousal claims by Yolanda would have no more weight in the Empire than a puff of smoke. If my business compel me to visit Letitia again. I shall be most careful not to cross paths with this overweening witch-princess. But about Lusina—"

             
"She's in her room in back. Take care that she flee not at sight of you."

             
"However fast she run, I'll follow faster," said Eudoric as he picked up his presents and hastened down the passage.

             
Baldonius chuckled softly. He adjusted his spectacles and opened his great iron-bound encyclopedia to "Incorporation."

The End

* * * * * *

APPLY IT
NOT

ERE I GIVE THE WORD!

As if answering a challenge, a deep grunt rumbled down the frail. While Jillo secured the horses, Eudoric laid out his new equipment and methodically loaded his weapon.

"Here if comes," said Eudoric as he detected the vibrations of a heavy tread through his boot soles. "Stand by with that torch. Apply it not ere I give the word!"

The dragon came into view, plodding along the trail and swinging its head from side to side. Having newly shed its skin, the creature gleamed like fresh paint, its hide bearing a reticular pattern of green and black. Its great, golden, slit-pupiled eyes focused keenly on the hunters.

The horses screamed; the dragon speeded its approach.

"Ready?" said Eudoric, settling the weapon in its rest.

"Aye, sir. Here goeth!" Without awaiting further command,
J
illo
applied the torch to the touchhole.

With a great boom and a cloud of smoke, the device discharged, rocking Eudoric back a pace. Through the dissipating smoke, the dragon appeared still rushing towards them.

"Idiot!" screamed Eudoric. "You were not to give fire until I commanded! You've made me miss it clean!"

"I'm s-sorry, sir. I was palsied with fear. What shall we do now?"

"Run, fool!"

THE

INCORPORATED

KNIGHT

L. Sprague and

Catherine

Crook

de Camp

Distributed in Canada by PaperJacks Ltd., a Licensee

of the trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

THE INCORPORATED KNIGHT

This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to real people or incidents is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 1987 by L. Sprague de Camp

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form.

A Baen Book

In Canada distributed by Paper Jacks Ltd.,

330 Steelcase Read, Markham, Ontario

First Baen printing, September 1988

Chapters I and II first appeared as the story "Two Yards of Dragon"
in the anthology
Flashing Swords! #3,
copyright © 1976 by Lin Carter.

Chapter III first appeared as "The Coronet" in
The Magazine of
Fantasy and Science Fiction,
v. 51, n. 5, Nov. 1976, copyright ©
by Mercury Press, Inc.

Chapter IV first appeared as "Spider Love" in
The Magazine of
Fantasy and Science Fiction,
v. 53, n. 5, Nov. 1977, copyright ©
1977 by Mercury Press, Inc.

Chapter V first appeared as "Eudoric's Unicorn" in the anthology
The
Year's Best Fantasy Stories: 3,
copyright © 1977 by Daw Books, Inc.

All these stories have been revised for the present volume.

ISBN: 0-671-65435-7

Cover art by Dan Home

Printed in Canada

Distributed by

SIMON & SCHUSTER

1230 Avenue of the Americas

New York, N.Y. 10020

-

To
Jeanne and
Paul Maguire,

whose lively imagination

gave us our
title

* * * * * *

Back cover

THE

INCORPORATED

KNIGHT

It's never easy being a knight, especially for practical Eudoric Dambertson, whose mind and temperament are better suited to trade than to the highly impractical demands of chivalry. Take the simple matter of courting a wife. To please his potential father-in-law, the enchanter Baldonius, the young man must bring back two square yards of dragon hide. Only then can he earn his knightly spurs and the hand of the beauteous Lusina. But battles with dragons always seem to go better in the ballads
...

Booklist:
"With an abundance of verbal pyrotechnics, the de Camps have meshed together a rollicking series of misadventures starring Eudoric Dambertson, Esquire: slayer of dragons, killer of majestic spiders, pursuer of unicorns."

Publishers Weekly:
"Most enjoyable."