The Intelligent Negotiator (9 page)

S
UMMARY
P
OINTS

• Initial contact is the critical point for setting the tone for the entire negotiation.
  

• Skilled negotiators create positive negotiation environments by personalizing the interaction.
  

• If you are a Cooperator, be sure your openness is being reciprocated before you disclose too much information and expose yourself to exploitation by Adversaries who are being less forthright.
  

• Attitudinal bargaining is effective when seeking to establish beneficial ground rules with especially aggressive counterparts.
  

• When proficient negotiators are unable to eliminate offensive opponent behavior, they try to control the interaction in a way that minimizes the ability of their obstreperous adversaries to bother them.
  

C
HAPTER
4
S
TAGE
O
NE:
T
HE
I
NFORMATION
E
XCHANGE

Y
ou are now entering Stage One of the negotiation process: The Information Exchange. This is where you and your counterparts learn about what you have to exchange with one another. You’ll notice the shift as soon as questions about each party’s needs and goals replace the small talk of preliminary discussions.

Even though the primary activity of this stage is to exchange information about what you want and why you want those items, Intelligent Negotiators recognize this as a prime opportunity to create new value, to expand the pie. Try not only to discover what your counterparts want to have, but also seek ways in which you might expand your areas of mutual interest. In this way you can generate joint gains. When you create new value, by expanding the overall economic pie to be divided up, all parties are better off; you and your counterparts can simultaneously enhance your respective interests.

The Information Exchange occurs in two steps, through which you discover:

1. What are the subjects to be explored and divided?
   

2. What are your counterpart’s needs and interests underlying those topics?
   

Once you know the answers to these questions, you can then determine the issues that can be addressed within the scope of your negotiations. Figure out the answer to number 1 by evaluating your situation, then evaluate the next step.

W
HAT
D
OES
Y
OUR
C
OUNTERPART
W
ANT?

The Intelligent Negotiator garners accurate information about what her opponent wants through a series of exchanges that consist of asking questions, listening for verbal leaks, and looking for nonverbal signals. Having critical information at the outset of negotiations lessens the chance that we will make erroneous assumptions about our opponents. Assumptions often turn out to be incorrect and could hinder resolution of conflict.

Ask Questions

Your general focus in the information exchange should be on the interests and desires of the
other party.
So ask questions. Spend as much time as possible asking and listening, and less time explaining your own position. Ask questions rather than speaking in declarative sentences,
which do nothing but give your counterparts information. The challenge you face is to obtain as much relevant information about your counterpart’s situation as possible, without disclosing too much of the confidential information pertaining to your own circumstances.

What resources and non-settlement options are available to the other side? This is what you need to know, therefore design your questions to elicit this information. If you can get away with it, casually ask what the other side plans to do if it is unable to reach a mutually acceptable agreement with you. If you succeed and your counterpart discloses his or her true BATNA (see
chapter 2
), you’ll be able to accurately estimate how much you will ultimately have to offer to get the counterpart to accept your terms over his or her non-settlement alternatives.

There is an art to asking information-seeking questions. For instance, many negotiators make the mistake of asking narrow, focused questions that can be answered with brief “yes” or “no” responses. When this happens, the questioners tend to confirm what they already suspect. The Intelligent Negotiator gets his or her counterparts to speak, because the more they talk, the more they disclose. You can do this by asking broad, open-ended information-seeking questions that cannot be answered with brief responses. Coming up with questions such as “What do you want/need to get?” “Why are you trying to obtain those terms?” takes some planning. If you suspect there is more to the story than what your counterpart is telling you about a specific topic, try to formulate expansive inquiries covering that area. Your counterpart has no way of knowing exactly what you already know, and—let’s face it—we all make the mistake of assuming that others know more than they actually know. As a result of
your careful questioning, your counterpart might divulge new pieces of information, often providing leads to other areas of interest. Ask her to explain
why
she wants particular items. What interests is she seeking to satisfy? What alternatives might satisfy her underlying needs?

Once you think that you have enough general information, narrow your inquiries. Be certain that you have properly interpreted your counterpart’s responses. Remember to be an
active
listener. Maintain warm and supportive eye contact with your counterpart. Nod your head while she is speaking. You may also paraphrase what she has just said to confirm what you have heard and to signal your openness to what is being disclosed. This will often lead to further disclosures. It is imperative that you listen and observe carefully. When you are either looking at your own notes or jotting down comments, you miss much of what your opponent is saying—both verbally and nonverbally. You should focus intently on the other side—listening carefully to the exact words she is using and looking for nonverbal signals that may support or contradict what she is saying orally. For example, she may nod her head affirmatively while verbally indicating that she can’t agree to a particular proposal. The head nod suggests that she
can
accept that term if you are patient.

Listen for Verbal Leaks

Verbal leaks are things we say inadvertently. They are well worth listening for, as they provide extra information you can use in negotiations. Most of us feel uncomfortable when being overtly deceptive or misrepresenting
actual circumstances, and we often try to avoid this moral dilemma by making statements that truthfully convey one message while inadvertently indicating something quite different. For example, in response to the question “How much do you need to sell this?” the seller might say “I
would like
to get $x” or “I’m
not inclined
to go below $x.” This is very different from answering the question directly. The buyer didn’t ask what the other side “wants,” “would like,” or is “inclined” to accept. She asked what the other side
has to have.

When someone answers what he or she “would like” to have, “wants” to get, or is “inclined” to accept, this clues you in on the fact that your counterpart will accept less than he or she is presently demanding. Intelligent Negotiators discern these verbal leaks and appreciate their real meanings. Now you know your opponent will agree to less generous terms. When I reach my true bottom line, I never say this: “That’s about as far as I can go.” What I say is unequivocal and thus more credible: “That’s all I have and all you will get.” Whenever you hear opponents use modifiers such as “I can’t go lower
at this time,” “I don’t believe
I can go any lower,” or “That’s
about as
far as I can go,” you can safely assume that they have more room for movement than they seem to be suggesting.

I was in the faculty lounge several years ago listening to a bargaining encounter involving two of my senior colleagues. One was trying to persuade the other to take on an onerous administrative task. The other colleague did all he could to avoid being saddled with the new responsibility, then finally said: “I’m
not inclined
to do that.” I smiled, for I knew that meant he would take on the task. After more back and forth, he did indeed agree to assume responsibility for the task in question.

Speakers may also let slip their true priorities through verbal leaks. For example, if John says: “I
must have
Item 1, I
really want
Item 2, and I
would like to have
Item 3,” his phrasing suggests this: Item 1 is essential; his side
must have
it. Item 2 is important, but not a deal-breaker; he really wants it, but doesn’t have to have it. Item 3 is desirable, but is something he is prepared to concede for something else. Careful listeners pick up on these semantic distinctions and appreciate the priorities being disclosed. Thus if a car dealer were to say that he or she
“could not
go below $x” with respect to the basic vehicle price but
“would like
to get $y” for certain options, and “would
not be inclined
to go above $z” in terms of your trade-in, you should recognize the need to negotiate primarily in terms of the options and the trade-in value. The verbal leaks clearly indicate willingness to be flexible with respect to those two items, even though the dealer wants to obtain the base price for the unenhanced vehicle. Since you don’t care whether the dealer charges you less for options or the base model, or offers you more for your trade-in, focus on the items the dealer is most likely to modify.

Here’s another example: Perhaps you are leasing several floors in a large building for your company. You ask the leasing agent whether you could obtain a rent reduction based on the substantial space you are leasing, and the agent indicates an unwillingness to decrease the rent since she has promised other tenants that everyone will pay the same rent. Should you give up on your efforts? No! An Intelligent Negotiator expands the pie. First, determine where the agent’s flexibility exists. Would she be willing to include cleaning services in your company’s rent? Yes. Would she include utilities? Yes. By
asking questions and listening carefully to the agent’s stated needs, you have adroitly reduced the
cost
your firm will have to pay for the space being leased, even though you are being charged the same rent as the other building occupants.

Look for Nonverbal Signals

Be aware of nonverbal signals, for during a negotiation they are as important as verbal ones. In fact, most people find it more difficult to distort their nonverbal messages than their verbal statements. Think back to past bargaining situations, and remember times you have had the
feeling
that your opponents were interested in what you were saying or were about to change their positions. Or recall situations in which you sensed the other participants were not entirely truthful when they said they were making their “final offers.” Such feelings are usually based on your subconscious reading of nonverbal signals that were either consistent or inconsistent with what the speakers were saying verbally.

True “final offers” are unlikely to be communicated by people who are sitting back in their chair, arms folded across their chest. When final offers are the real thing, the offerors are likely to be leaning slightly forward in their chair with arms extended and palms facing outward to demonstrate the openness and sincerity of their position. Verbal statements regarding final offers are only semi-believable. The verbal statements become believable when your counterparts’ nonverbal signals match their concessionary words.

Do not make the mistake of failing to observe nonverbal signals. Most negotiators miss a great deal. They are either so busy focusing on other factors that they don’t see nonverbal signs, or they naively think that looking for these subtle messages is unnecessary because no competent negotiator would divulge important information in such a careless manner. Anyone who harbors this opinion should read one or two of the popular books on nonverbal communication, such as
Reading People
by Jo-Ellan Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella
¹
and
Bodytalk
by Desmond Morris.
²
Once you have done some reading on nonverbal communication, watch the people around you in your office, at public events, on television, and on the street. Focus on the faces and body movements, and you will begin to see a whole new world. These cues will help you determine whether the people you are observing are happy, sad, angry, fearful, or hopeful. You will be able to discern whether your targets are patient or anxious. By training yourself to look for such signals during bargaining encounters, you will be able to ascertain important information you would otherwise miss. You must remember, however, that no single nonverbal signal is conclusive. You must look for changes in behavior and patterns of behavior that cumulatively support a particular interpretation.

Become Familiar with Classic Nonverbal Signals

What are some classic nonverbal signals worth noticing? Look at your counterpart’s face. An inexperienced negotiator may actually smile when an opponent makes a generous offer or approaches the negotiator’s settlement range. When this happens, you might also see a bow of the head
in an attempt to conceal the smile. Most negotiators, however, are not so obvious. One person might show subtle signs of relief around the corners of the mouth when he or she begins to believe that a settlement will be achieved. Another might show tightness around the mouth, signaling tension that he or she believes present discussions are not moving satisfactorily. When someone scratches a head or brushes a cheek, this gesture may indicate puzzlement. If you receive such a response to an important message, reiterate your point in a clearer fashion.