Authors: Mazo de la Roche
Tags: #FIC045000 – FICTION / Sagas
“I dare say he would.” But there was no note of encouragement in her voice.
“I should go mad without music myself,” said Minny. “I suppose you get wonderful music in New York.”
“Very good.” Alayne’s lips scarcely moved. She looked straight ahead of her.
“I’ll be going there myself one day I’ll have to get you to put me on to the ropes.”
Alayne did not answer.
Patience was making bubbly noises and holding up her hands toward the horse.
Pheasant laughed. “She’s a perfect Whiteoak! Look at her, she’s asking to get into the saddle.”
With a swift movement of her white bare arm, Minny lifted the child and swung it to the horse’s back, and sup
ported it there. “How’s that, Ducky?” she gurgled. “Nice old gee-gee!” She clapped the horse on the flank.
“For God’s sake, be careful, Minny!” cried Pheasant. “He’s nervous.” She patted him soothingly.
“Is he?” laughed Minny. “He seems a docile little beast. Doesn’t she look a lamb on horseback?”
Patience indeed looked charming, the downy brown hair on her little head blown, her eyes bright with excitement. She clutched the rein in her tiny hands and cooed in ecstasy.
“She’s a perfect Whiteoak,” averred Pheasant again, with solemnity.
Alayne did not think she cared for babies, especially Meg’s baby. Perhaps it was that she did not understand them, had had nothing to do with them in her life. For something to say she admired the grace of the horse.
“He’s from the West,” said Pheasant. “He’s been badly used. We found welts all over him, when we had him clipped. He’s been branded twice. I think that must hurt, though they say not.” She glanced at her wristwatch. “I think you’d better put Patience in her pram. I must be getting home.”
Minny Ware took the baby in her arms. She pressed her full red mouth to its soft cheek. “Music and babies,” she murmured, through the kiss. “They’re the soul and body of life, aren’t they? I couldn’t get on without them. In England I always had a baby about, looking after it for one of my father’s sick parishioners.”
Alayne saw Minny as a symbolic figure—a song on her moist red lips, a baby against her swelling breast. Songs and babies—an endless procession from her vigorous body. With a fresh pang, she saw her as Renny’s wife, singing to him, bearing his children. Minny was revealed to be a fit mate for
one of the Whiteoaks. One whose formidable physical strength and spiritual acquiescence could be welded into their circle. She saw herself as a disparate being; an alloy that never could be merged; a bird brooding on a strange nest, crying to a mate to whom her voice would ever be alien.
She slipped her finger into the child’s tender palm. The little hand closed about her finger and drew it toward the inquisitive mouth.
Pheasant sprang to the saddle with casual accustomedness. Her loose white shirt showed a tear, revealing a thin young shoulder. She chirrupped. In an instant the horse, which had been walking indolently, with drooping head, became an object of force, of speed. Its thudding hoofs sent up a spray of pine needles. The dark curve of its flank swam beneath the rider. Horse and rider disappeared behind a bend in the path.
The two young women walked on together. When they reached the point where Alayne must turn into the narrow footpath leading to Fiddler’s Hut, Minny Ware said: “Shall I come one day, then, and sing?”
“Yes, do,” answered Alayne. After all, Eden might like her singing. He hadn’t much to amuse him, shut in among the trees. He must get tired of reading and being read to.
She found him sitting on the ground beneath a cedar tree that rose, a pointed spire, behind him. She asked, anxiously: “Do you think you should sit on the ground? I’m afraid it’s quite damp.”
He pushed back his hair petulantly. “I was so beastly hot. There seemed to be more air down here.”
“Sometimes I wonder,” she said, looking at him with a pucker on her forehead, “if you should have come here at all. It might have been better if you had gone to the mountains
or one of your Northern lakes. Even now, if you would like to go, I would go with you.”
“No.” He turned his head away sulkily. “I’m here, and here I’ll stay. If I get better, well and good. If I don’t—it doesn’t much matter.” He stretched out his hand, plucked a wood lily, and tore off its petals one by one.
“That’s nonsense,” said Alayne, sharply “It matters a great deal. Have I come all this way for something that does not matter?”
“It does not matter to you.”
“Yes, it does.”
“You don’t love me.”
She did not answer.
“Do you love me?” he insisted, childishly “No.”
“Then in what way do I matter to you? For God’s sake, don’t say my writing matters to you!”
“But it does! And you do—for yourself. Can’t you understand how my feeling for you may have changed into something quite different from love—yet something that makes me want to care for you, make you well again?”
She went to him, and stood looking down on him with compassion. She must take his mind from the subject of his illness.
“I met that Minny Ware just now. She offers to come over some day and sing to you. Will you like that?”
“No,” he said. “I shan’t like it. I don’t want her coming here. She’s stupid. She’s silly I can imagine the noise she would make—stupid and silly.”
On an impulse she could not restrain, Alayne said: “Meg is scheming to marry her to Renny”
His face was almost comic in its surprise. “Marry her to Renny! But why? Why should she want to marry that girl to Renny?”
His eyes, with their veiled gaze, looked into Alayne’s, but she saw that his swift mind was hot on the trail of Meg’s devious motives. “That girl,” he repeated. “That girl. Renny. I can’t see it. But wait!” The light of malicious understanding crept into his eyes. “She’s afraid—that’s what it is—afraid! She’d marry him to an imbecile rather than have that happen.”
“Have what happen? How mysterious you are!” But her heart was beginning to beat uncomfortably.
He narrowed his eyes to two slits and peered up at her. Sunlight and leaf shadows, playing across his face, gave it a sardonic grimace. “My poor girl, don’t you see? Deceased husband’s brother! Meggie thinks there is a fair chance of my dying, and she’s afraid you’ll marry Renny. She’s going to fix him up with a nice plump songstress instead. I see it all. I’ll engage she’ll do it. Poor Reynard. That sly red-headed fox will be helpless. She’ll bait the trap with such a sleek plump pullet. And she’ll lead him to it and let him sniff— God, he hasn’t a chance!”
She stood looking down at him, under the flickering leaf shadows. Her face looked greenish-white. Her heart sank under a weight of apprehension. She felt that they were helpless, moved inexorably by soulless forces. They were being woven into the pattern of Jalna. They could no more extricate themselves than the strands caught in the loom. Vibrating on the heat, she felt the deep-toned hum of the loom through all her being.
He was regarding her with heartless interest. “You mind?” he queried, mischievously. “You mind as much as that?”
“As much as what?” she asked angrily, hate for him rising in her.
“Your face! Oh, your face!” He changed the expression of his own visage into one of dolour. “It’s like this!”
Tears of anger, of shame, stung her eyelids.
“And now you’re going to cry! Is it for me? Or Renny? Or yourself? Tell me that, Alayne!”
She could not bear it. She turned and went swiftly toward the cottage. He remained a little, savouring the moment. He said to himself: “I am alive! I am alive! The worms are not gnawing me—yet!” He turned his hand about, examining the wrist that had been so round, so firm. “No mould—yet!” He felt his pulse. “Still kicking!”
He got up—it seemed to him that he felt stronger—and followed Alayne into the cottage.
The little Scotch maid was laying the table. Rags would be here any minute with their dinner. Through a crack of the door of Alayne’s room he could see her standing before the little looking glass, her hands raised to her hair. Her arms and shoulders were bare, and the graceful sweep of their lines brought to him a moment of remembered emotion. Not so long ago those arms had held him. Not so long ago delicate and extravagant caresses had passed between them. And how soon over! The remembrance of them as meaningless as a shadow from which the substance has fled.
But the shadow disturbed him. He wandered about the room, humming a tune.
Alayne came from her room. He looked at her with curiosity. His erotic proclivities, his sensitiveness, had given him the power of putting himself in the place of one of the opposite sex, of gauging with uncanny precision emotions alien to himself. So now, beneath her studied calm, he was
conscious of the turbulence of the thoughts created by his words.
She knew something of this sexual clairvoyance, but had not fathomed its dark depths. If she had realized the full knowledge he had of her at that moment, it would have been impossible for her to remain under the same roof with him.
She had changed to a thinner dress of a pale green that seemed to have caught its colour from the atmosphere, for, though it was noonday, the room lay in a green twilight because of the rich foliage that was reared between its windows and the sun.
“How nice and cool you look!” he said, his eyes resting on her.
She did not answer, but went to the window and looked out between the leaves of the trumpet vine. She thought of Renny, and his promise to cut away some of these creeping things. Why did he not come? Was it callous absorption in his own doings that made him neglect his brother, or did he wish to avoid her? She told herself that she was angry at him. Vehemently she asked herself why it was that her love for him should so often be driven to put on the hair shirt of irritation.
It was July when at last he came. A dim day after a week of intense heat. When they looked out in the morning, their little woodland world had been shrouded in an unearthly fog. Thin films of vapour covered the abnormally large leaves, gathering at the tips and forming clear drops. The seething summer life of the wood was silent, apparently in a deep languor after the restless activity of the past week. There was no bird song; only from the little spring, hidden under its bower of honeysuckle, came a faint murmuring, like the very breath of the sleeping grass. As the morning
drew on, the fog lifted slightly and the sun was distinguishable, but almost as wan, as somnolent, as the old moon. Each day the path that led from the door became narrower, more closed in by the urgent growth of flowers and weeds. Few used it. The visits from those at the house had become rarer, either because of the heat and lassitude of the month of July or because they were absorbed by some new interweaving of the threads of the pattern that was being woven at Jalna. Eden and Alayne were left very much to themselves, spending drowsy days, cut off by his illness and her shrinking from meetings with the family.
She felt apathetic now. They might go on like this forever, passing their days in that green shade, their nights in fantastic dreams. She was startled, almost afraid, when, on this morning, she saw Renny’s figure detach itself from the mist which lay thick under the orchard trees, and which had made his body appear to be but another trunk, and emerge into the path. She saw that he wore a loose white shirt and riding breeches, but he carried in one hand some implement and in the other a long trailing piece of vetch, covered with little purple flowers.
He moved with such energy along the path, seemed so unoppressed by the humid air and the fog, that she fancied it moved aside for him, was lightened and dispersed at his approach.
Eden had actually been trying to write. He raised his eyes from the pad that lay on his knee and, like Alayne, looked almost startled toward the door, as Renny stood there.
An expression of embarrassment made the elder brother’s features appear less carved than usual. He knew that he had been remiss, even heartless, but he had, since their return, a feeling of shy avoidance toward them.
Although Alayne had come only to nurse Eden, to win him back to health, and then again part from him, she seemed now to belong to him. She must not be sought out, brooded on, hungered for, with a pain as for something one could never possess. Renny had retired, with an almost animal fatalism, to wait for events to turn out as they would. He was watchful. His instincts were invincible. He was conscious of the presence of those two in the very air he breathed, in the earth beneath his feet. Yet the summer might have passed without his going to them, had not Augusta that morning drawn his attention to the unusual growth of the vine that covered the porch, to the great size of the geranium leaves in the beds, to the difficulty of keeping down weeds in the garden, and to the need for cutting the lawn. All these evidences of rank growth drove him to inspect the still ranker growth at Fiddler’s Hut. Those two might almost be enclosed now by such a hedge as enclosed the Sleeping Palace.
As he passed through the orchard he had noticed a clump of purple vetch, wound and curled about itself into a great mound, beautiful, showing through the mist. He had detached a long strand of this and brought it to Alayne. It hung dangling from his hand, almost touching the doorsill. His spaniels appeared on either side of him.
Eden was pathetically glad to see him. His face broke into a boyish smile, and he exclaimed: “You, at last, Renny! I thought you’d forgotten me! How long do you think it is since you were here?”
“Weeks, I know. I’m ashamed. But I’ve been—”
“For God’s sake, don’t say you’ve been busy! What must it be like to be busy! I’ve forgotten!”
“Did you ever know?” Renny came in and stood beside him. The dogs entered also, with great dignity, their plumed
legs and bellies dripping from the wet grass, “Shall I turn them out?” he asked Alayne. “I’m afraid they’re making tracks on the floor.”
“No, no!” objected Eden. “I like them. How fine they look! And you, too. Doesn’t he, Alayne?” The dogs went to him and sniffed his thin hands.
“He looks as he always does,” she answered, coldly. Now that he stood before her, whom her whole being had ached to see, she felt antagonism for his vigour, his detachment. How little he cared for Eden, for her, for anyone but himself!