The Lady's Choice (13 page)

‘It is good to see you, Ali,' Ramón said, standing and leading his sister onto the dance floor. Unfortunately, this dance too was a waltz, suited to intimate conversations. Braced for more questions, he swept Alique into the dancers.

‘It is lovely to see you too, Ramón, though I hope I shall not be seeing so much of you in future.'

Ramón knew a flush was winding its way up his chest and over his face. Damn his reactions! If only he could be cold like other men. ‘I am so very sorry for that. Most embarrassing for you.'

‘Oh, I do not mind,' she said airily. ‘I am quite in demand now because of you. All the ladies wish to talk with me about my gorgeous brother. Some of them even request me to organise a meeting between them and you. At the soonest possible opportunity, no less! And that coming from women who did not witness your display this morning. Rumours are certainly flying around this castle, brother.'

‘And I don't suppose you discourage them, sister?'

‘Why would I? It is one of the most exciting things that has happened this autumn. And coming on top of your arrival with the unescorted Lady Benae Branasar, it has people even more inclined to whisper. Were you really attacked by the dark elves?'

Ramón squashed the blast of anger at her words. ‘Yes, we were and people died. There is no cause to use tragedy to fuel gossip.'

‘People die every day, Ramón,' she said, not a trace of distress on her face. ‘You always were inclined to the dramatic. What we all wish to know is what there is between you and the Lady Benae. I notice you have been careful to avoid her this evening.'

Now he was furious. Alique had always been able to get under his skin. ‘I. Am. Not. Avoiding. Her,' he said through clenched teeth. ‘We are friends, no more. You should know better than to accuse me of disloyalty to the prince.'

‘From what I hear, Jiseve Zialni doesn't inspire much loyalty and so I thought perhaps this marriage of convenience was not exclusive. The old boy wants a son, after all. Who would care if it was not his?'

‘In the name of the Goddess, Ali!' Ramón's brain struggled feverishly to process her words. Was this what the court at Wildecoast was saying? ‘Benae is not even wed yet and you already have her unfaithful? She is loyal to the prince . . . and so am I.'

Alique gazed up at him as if he had confirmed her suspicions, but he could not think of anything he had said that would have led her to that conclusion. ‘Thank you for the dance, Ramón.' She curtseyed and swept back to the queen, leaving Ramón staring after her, oblivious to those around him.

Finally, he turned to leave the dance floor and bumped into Benae. ‘I am sorry, my lady.' He bowed and would have stalked away but she clutched his sleeve.

‘What is going on?'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Let us dance,' she said, moving into his arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

It did feel good: her petite frame, her curves. Suddenly his mouth was dry. He straightened his arms to keep her at a safe distance. ‘It is good to see you again.'

A brief flash of despair transformed her features and was gone. ‘I have missed your company.'

Her eyes were liquid pools of emerald, but they were so sad. What had happened to the joyful lady he had first met only weeks ago? He felt himself falling into her gaze and hauled himself back. ‘We cannot enjoy each other's company as we would both wish. The eyes of all are upon us.'

‘That does not make this easier to bear,' she whispered. ‘I need you.' Tears glistened in her eyes.

Oh, Goddess, please do not let her cry.
He ached to wrap her in his arms and hold her. But he could not so he swept her along, saying nothing, allowing her moment of weakness to pass. Benae was strong and she knew what must be done. The music swirled around them and he concentrated upon it, feeling the joyful chords, allowing the beat to surge through his body, willing her to do the same.

The song ended and he led Benae from the floor to the buffet table. She lifted a glass to her lips and he was relieved to see her composure restored.

‘Do not fear for me, Ramón. I have my moments of weakness but I will prevail. Tomorrow the dress fittings begin and soon we shall be back in Brightcastle.' She seemed to steel herself before continuing. ‘I shall wed the prince and bear his children and there will be no scandal.' She raised her gaze to his and he almost gasped at the raw longing she revealed to none but him.

There was nothing he could say to set her at ease. ‘I promised the queen another dance,' he said. ‘It won't do to keep Her Majesty waiting.' He bowed and walked away; downing the goblet of wine he carried in one long swallow.

By the morning of her fourth full day in Wildecoast, Benae's grip on her composure was fragile. Two days of dress fittings, where she had stood for hours to be measured, poked and pinned, had eroded her tolerance. Even worse, the queen or another female member of the nobility was always in attendance at her fittings. As much as Benae wanted to forget Ramón and his hold on her heart, she could not when his name was on the lips of every woman who visited with her.

The lady keeping her company at the fitting that morning was Alique, Ramón's sister. Benae tried not to look at Alique, for she reminded her so much of the squire, but the young woman kept moving into Benae's line of sight whenever the dressmaker altered her position. Alique had been chattering about Ramón's childhood.

‘How well do you know my brother, Lady Benae?' she asked, her gaze altogether too penetrating for Benae's liking.

‘Hardly at all, really, although we talked a little after the ambush.'

‘I should say so; there was no one else for you to talk to.' She fell silent for long moments and Benae wondered what was coming next.

‘Do you find Ramón handsome?'

‘I do not see the point of this topic, Lady Alique. Can we not talk of something else? Perhaps my upcoming wedding?' Benae hoped that would put Alique in her place but she had underestimated the girl.

‘How can you give up your life for such an old man?' she asked. ‘There must be more to that story. I have heard your estate is impoverished. Is that the reason for your betrothal?'

‘That is enough!' Benae simply could not believe she had to tolerate this but if she asked Alique to leave it might look as if she had something to hide. Or perhaps not. Alique's words were insulting. ‘The arrangement between the prince and me is none of your business but be advised that there is real warmth in our relationship and I anticipate long years ahead of fulfilment.' Even to Benae's ears, it sounded less than ideal.

Alique laughed. ‘Keep telling yourself that and you might believe it one day. I have seen the way you look at Ramón and he at you. If I know Ramón, it is he who holds you at arm's length. He did always have too much honour for his own good.'

Benae did not know what to say and so she stared at Alique, willing the girl to leave. The old dressmaker chose that moment to stick her with a pin.

‘Ouch!' Benae was instantly distracted from Ramón's sister. When she turned back to the lady-in-waiting she found Alique had left the room.

‘One more adjustment and we shall be finished, my lady.' The dressmaker smiled at Benae. ‘You will be a picture on your wedding day. Return to me an hour after luncheon and we will make the final changes.'

‘Thank you, Mistress,' Benae said, ‘You have created a beautiful gown for my special day.' Benae stepped from the gown, dressed and hurried out before the woman could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

She strode back to her chambers, the need to flee building within her. Perhaps after her final fitting this afternoon, she might saddle Flaire and give the stallion a run along the beach. She sent the thought to her mount and felt his excited response deep in her mind.

Ramón rode with his father along the narrow lane that wound between farms on the Zorba estate. The wind was strong and the crimson dress tunic he had worn to please his mother did little to stop the chill cutting through to his skin. He felt a driving need to be back at the castle. Benae would be anxious. Castle gossip had not been kind to them since their arrival four days ago. He had spent the past two nights with his parents and could almost forget the traumas of the past week in the bosom of his family. His older sister, Nyon, had visited yesterday with her husband and three sons, her belly round with their fourth child. She seemed content and was proud of Ramón's position at Brightcastle. She had said not a word about Benae, nor asked him about her. Instead, she had sat with her arms encircling her stomach and listened as he related the story of Princess Alecia and the events leading to her departure from Brightcastle.

Two evenings and a day in the company of his parents had eased his worries regarding the future, and now he was ready to return to Wildecoast castle. His mother had instantly known Ramón was changed from the man who had left her. Her eyes had glowed with pride at the broadness of his shoulders and the way he now carried himself. She and his father had set about gently probing the root of these changes and he had found himself confiding in them his goal of finding Alecia and of marrying her. His mother had helped him to accept that, though Alecia might one day return to her rightful position in Brightcastle, she would likely never marry him.

He must face the fact that his future was with some eligible girl, possibly one of the queen's current ladies-in-waiting. He would not stay in Brightcastle forever. The return of Princess Alecia would still be a priority and he would see that she was recovered, but he should no longer dream of her as his wife.

His parents had drawn him out on the subject of the elven attack and the fears and guilt Ramón still harboured over that event. And just like that, a weight had seemed to lift off his shoulders and he could breathe easier once more. None of the distressing events were his fault and he could move on to the next phase of his life with courage, dignity and honour.

The voice of his father washed over him, the honour and pride the man radiated so inspirational to Ramón. His parents believed he would make something of himself. He didn't discuss his feelings for Benae but somehow he felt they fathomed his strong attraction to her for they kept talking of honour and the importance of Benae's marriage to the kingdom of Thorius.

He came to understand that he and Benae were only a small part of a great plan and that their sacrifices and sufferings were what made the kingdom strong. He had made the right choice in holding Benae at a distance and she would thank him one day. It was difficult for her to see that now, when she was in the grip of whatever feelings she had for him.

A happy glow warmed Ramón despite the chill of the day. That a woman like Benae found him attractive boosted his ego. More than that, he had been able to save her from the dark elves. Next he would retrieve Alecia and the prince would never again doubt his worth. Steely resolve straightened Ramón's shoulders. If he could save the lives of the prince's two most treasured women, his worth in the kingdom would be beyond measure.

Benae stood again in the dressmaker's fitting room, turning this way and that as the final adjustments were made. She had to admit her wedding gown was breathtakingly stunning. It hugged her curves from her breasts to her hips, scooping low across her shoulders to reveal a decent amount of cleavage. The sleeves were long, finishing in points over her hands, and the skirt flared out from thighs to feet. The entire gown was delicate lace over satin and the train extended five paces behind her. A gorgeous lace veil completed the ensemble.

The fitting was almost completed when there was a knock at the door and the queen entered. The monarch was dressed in a body-hugging gown of crimson velvet that also left a good deal of breast on display. Her flashing green eyes lit up when they saw Benae.

‘My dear, you make the most stunning bride!' She advanced and kissed Benae on both cheeks.

Taken aback by Adriana's display of enthusiasm, Benae curtseyed, wondering what Adriana would say next. This day had been difficult and the only thing that helped Benae hold her nerve at that moment was the thought of a ride in the wild wind with Flaire. Already she could feel his excitement building.

‘No need to curtsey when we are alone, Benae. You and I will soon be relatives, in fact, that is why I am here. I wish to give you some sisterly advice, as I fear there may not be another opportunity.' She turned to the old dressmaker. ‘Leave us.'

The woman curtseyed and left without another word. What did Adriana have to say that required dismissing the servants? Benae rubbed at the sudden tightness in the muscles of her neck.

‘I know you have a hankering for the squire – who could blame you? But Jiseve must not know. He is insanely jealous. There is no telling what he might do if he discovers your feelings for Ramón.'

‘Your Majesty, I have already explained that we are merely friends.'

‘Nonsense, Benae,' Adriana said, a frown marring her beauty. ‘I have seen the way you look at him. You do not hide it but you must learn to. You must not give Jiseve reason to believe you have been unfaithful.'

‘But I have not!'

‘Perhaps that is so but it will not be the case for much longer, if I am any judge.'

Benae turned and walked to the window. She could not bear this. It was not any business of Adriana's. Or was it? Was she simply trying to safeguard Jiseve and the kingdom's heir?

‘You are very much like me, Benae. You could easily be my younger sister. I understand your passion. Jiseve is an older man. You will stray or you will want to. You want to already.'

Benae spun to face her. ‘We would never betray Jiseve as you describe. Please, I do not wish to speak of these matters.'

‘Take Ramón as your lover, Benae.'

Benae gasped. Why would the queen say these things?

‘I know that is what you wish. You are driven by your passion and Ramón is an easy man to love. It is my belief that, until you and he are one, your hunger for the squire will be there upon your face for all to see, including Jiseve. Find a way to sate that passion, that longing and you will disguise it more easily.'

‘That is outrageous, Adriana. I will not speak of this any longer with you.' A flash of intuition came to her. ‘You have taken lovers, yourself!'

‘Of course I have. Beniel, the Goddess bless him, is not always able to perform and our childlessness is no secret. I blame him for the lack of an heir even though officially
I
am barren. When the urge takes me, I have several
friends
I can call upon.' A far-off look entered the queen's gaze. ‘Anyway, I see a deep sadness within you, Benae, and I wanted to assure you that, despite your marriage of convenience, there is no need for you to be unhappy or to settle for Jiseve.'

Benae stared at Adriana, unable to believe what she was hearing. She had heard of the fairytale marriage of the King and Queen of Thorius and now she knew it was pretence. Oh, Adriana was very fond of Beniel, perhaps even loved him in her own way, but the superficial nature of the queen's life depressed her. Could she enter into the same sort of marriage with Jiseve? Was he impotent and was that the reason he had not yet bedded her? When she thought back, she could not remember his rod hardening in any of their romantic interludes. Fear gripped her heart. Had she promised herself to a man incapable of satisfying her sexual cravings?

She could not help the tremor that shook her. She must think this through and now. ‘Please help me from this dress, Your Majesty.' Benae reached behind herself to the dozens of buttons that ran up her spine and began to undo the uppermost fastenings. Adriana stepped forward to help her and they soon had the garment off and laid across a chair. Benae slipped into the sea-green riding habit that Adriana had loaned her.

‘You look exquisite in that, my dear. You may keep it. I hardly ever wear it anyway. I take it you plan to ride this afternoon?'

Benae nodded, unable to trust her voice. She must hold herself together until she and Flaire were away from the castle and from the city, until they were flying along the sand and a few tears would not be noticed.

‘Take an escort and do not be away for long,' the queen said. ‘There is a storm brewing.'

Benae swept a curtsey and hurried from the dressmaker's chambers. In her room, she paused only long enough to throw her cloak around her shoulders before taking the servants' stairs to the stables. She
had
to be alone. She needed time to think more desperately than she had ever needed anything in her life.

The stables were deserted, though she heard a murmur of voices from the rear of the building. She must be quick to saddle Flaire before one of the attendants insisted she be accompanied. Benae found her stallion and sent him a mind message for quiet. He scarcely breathed as she saddled him and drew on his bridle. Her insides quivered as they left the stable and walked agonisingly slowly past the other hoses. Flaire's hooves made barely a sound on the flagstones but there were quiet nickers from some of the other horses. She could tell from Flaire's response that most of the other horses were envious of the stallion's chance to escape.

Once out of the stables, Benae mounted and walked in a leisurely fashion through the castle forecourt and out through the gates, nodding to the guards on duty as if she rode out on her own every day. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the sergeant send one of the guards running. It would not be long before an escort was dispatched to retrieve her, but she would make the most of the time she had. Ramón had shown her a trail down to the beach when they arrived at Wildecoast so she retraced her steps and found the steep descent to the seashore. Her spirits soared along with Flaire's as they reached the sand and stared out at the wind-tossed waves. The darkening clouds seemed to touch the ocean and Benae spied a flash of lightning on the horizon. Flaire snorted, excited by the strange salty tang on the air. Neither of them had ever seen the sea but Benae had learned to swim in the fast-flowing rivers of her native northern lands. Looking down the beach to the south, she spied a rocky causeway that jutted out into the ocean.

‘Let us race to those rocks, Flaire,' she whispered into the stallion's ear and he went from a stop to a flat-out gallop in seconds. Excitement gripped Benae as the wind ripped at her hair and sent her cloak flying behind her like a flag, tugging on her shoulders as though it wanted to rip her from the saddle. They raced along the beach above the waves, past driftwood and exposed rocks, and Benae felt freer than she had been in a long time. This was living, not the stuffy existence most people knew. She hoped Jiseve did not expect her to live the life of a princess, stuck inside castle walls, embroidering and waiting to die. Jiseve would never expect that, would he?